Chelsy and John Maxwell 4: Will She Blog Post the Honeymoon

[MamaJunebug]

@Jana814 and @JermajestyDuggar, I’d like to encourage you — don’t worry about brassy!  As long as you stay in the same Color neighborhood as what you’re now using you should be fine. You could also try the semi-permanent version of your lighter color & if you didn’t like it, shampoo with Prell for a couple days and it’ll fade right out. Then use your usual shade. 

Not trying to be bossy, I just enjoy the way a slightly lighter color makes my hair look and want to pass on words of daring & courage! OTOH of course you do what YOU want!

Hair — I could talk about it for a full day!

[CurlyWurly]

I'm here to recommend henna. It tints dark hair with a dark maroon and dyes gray hairs a beautiful warm red. I don't really know how to add images but I'll try below:

Also is a fear of gray hair a particularly North American thing? My mother has been gray since she was 20 or so, most women I know over 40 just let their hair go gray. I'm in Australia btw

[mango_fandango]

Nah it’s a thing here in the U.K. too. My mum dyes her hair. My aunt used to as well, but she had a reaction to a dye or something and now she doesn’t use any dye, she’s grey now. 

[Melissa1977]

35 minutes ago, CurlyWurly said:

I'm here to recommend henna. It tints dark hair with a dark maroon and dyes gray hairs a beautiful warm red. I don't really know how to add images but I'll try below:

Also is a fear of gray hair a particularly North American thing? My mother has been gray since she was 20 or so, most women I know over 40 just let their hair go gray. I'm in Australia btw

As far as I'm concerned, henna looks awful with grey/white hair! It doesn't look like in your pictures. At least real henna. Maybe you pictured a new product, not the traditional one? 

[Palimpsest]

9 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Not trying to be bossy, I just enjoy the way a slightly lighter color makes my hair look and want to pass on words of daring & courage! OTOH of course you do what YOU want!

Hairdressers always seem to encourage women past a certain age to go lighter and blonder in hair color these days.  It is different than in my youth when graying women  almost always were told to get a short perm and blue rinse so that it didn't look "brassy."

I was naturally blondish (light brown) and highlighted my hair for years.  When I decided to go naturally gray I just let the streaks grow out and it didn't look too dreadful. 

I was advised to use some purplish shampoo and conditioner (I think it was Clairol) to tone down the yellowish bits.  Then one day I ran out of Clairol, looked in cupboard and found the shampoo I used for my white dog.

I've never looked back.  It smells good, and leaves my coat soft, shiny and remarkably manageable.  And it is cheaper than the human stuff but has the same ingredients.  

[SilverBeach]

1 hour ago, CurlyWurly said:

I'm here to recommend henna. It tints dark hair with a dark maroon and dyes gray hairs a beautiful warm red. I don't really know how to add images but I'll try below:

Also is a fear of gray hair a particularly North American thing? My mother has been gray since she was 20 or so, most women I know over 40 just let their hair go gray. I'm in Australia btw

I don't fear it, I just don't like it on me.

[Black Aliss]

4 hours ago, CurlyWurly said:

Also is a fear of gray hair a particularly North American thing? My mother has been gray since she was 20 or so, most women I know over 40 just let their hair go gray. I'm in Australia btw

For most women I know it's fear of being thought of as a lesser human being, one without fresh ideas, energy, or really any economic value at all. Ageism is a real thing. I didn't used to believe in it but I encounter it now on a regular basis, certainly in the work world, but also in medical situations, restaurants, even in outdoor recreation.

[Granwych]

There are several different shades of henna.  Mama June gave some great advice about using a semipermanent color, too.  Ashy shades won't look brassy.

[PennySycamore]

37 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

For most women I know it's fear of being thought of as a lesser human being, one without fresh ideas, energy, or really any economic value at all. Ageism is a real thing. I didn't used to believe in it but I encounter it now on a regular basis, certainly in the work world, but also in medical situations, restaurants, even in outdoor recreation.

I don't know where I saw this just yesterday, but it compared society's views of great hair in men and women.  We tend to see gray haired women as Sophia from The Golden Girls, IIRC, and men as Anderson Cooper.

Steve Martin started going gray in high school. By the time I saw him in the spring of "74 or maybe '75 as the opener for The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, his hair was completely silver.  He was in his early 30s.

[Palimpsest]

5 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

I don't know I saw this just yesterday, but it compared society's views of great hair in men and women.  We tend to see gray haired women as Sophia from The Golden Girls, IIRC, and men as Anderson Cooper.

Gray haired men = distinguished.  Gray haired women = letting themselves go.

Gray hair can look really good on women, but we are apparently supposed to call it silver: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/04/gray-hair-hot-reasons_n_6745104.html

I saw a lady, and I'd conservatively estimate her age as 80+, in the grocery store on Saturday.  She had snow white hair in a sleek chin length bob, but the bottom 2 inches all the way around was bright pink.  She looked fantastic.

[clueliss]

I don't fear the gray - however, I find we live in a culture where men who are gray are distinguished and women are not.  So until now, I've kept at coloring my hair.  Lately, I've grown tired of it and am contemplating stopping.  

[SilverBeach]

4 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

For most women I know it's fear of being thought of as a lesser human being, one without fresh ideas, energy, or really any economic value at all. Ageism is a real thing. I didn't used to believe in it but I encounter it now on a regular basis, certainly in the work world, but also in medical situations, restaurants, even in outdoor recreation.

Ageism is a real thing, but none of this contributes to my lack of desire for gray hair. I don't think most women get this deep with it. Coloring your hair doesn't get you out of age discrimination, that's for sure. With me, it's aesthetics, and having fun. I speak for myself only. Everyone should do what is right for them. No judgement.

[MamaJunebug]

15 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Ageism is a real thing, but none of this contributes to my lack of desire for gray hair. I don't think most women get this deep with it. Coloring your hair doesn't get you out of age discrimination, that's for sure. With me, it's aesthetics, and having fun. I speak for myself only. Everyone should do what is right for them. No judgement.

My own case — I like the way I look with color in my hair. I just saw a 2016 photo of myself where my uncolored hair is about 60% white (which I think I’d love) and 50% grey, and even though I looked fine then...I like the way I look now, better!! 

Mileages vary, and that’s what makes life interesting. 

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, clueliss said:

I don't fear the gray - however, I find we live in a culture where men who are gray are distinguished and women are not.  So until now, I've kept at coloring my hair.  Lately, I've grown tired of it and am contemplating stopping.  

Don't feel pressured either way.

I quit and went naturally skunk striped because I wanted to, and I because I loathe spending more time at the hairdresser and than I absolutely need to.   Mr. P still loves me.

But the message here is don't let anyone tell you what you "have" to do with your hair, what is "age-appropriate," or imply you look like crap because you decided to stop coloring your hair.

Rock what you've got - and make your own choices.

[SilverBeach]

10 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

But the message here is don't let anyone tell you what you "have" to do with your hair, what is "age-appropriate," or imply you look like crap because you decided to stop coloring your hair.

Or because you decide to keep coloring it.

[Palimpsest]

9 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Or because you decide to keep coloring it.

Did I miss that out?  Ouch, so I did. I'm so sorry.

Rock the hair color of your choice if you want to - and don't let anyone tell you you should go naturally gray.  Or pink.  Or purple.

Your hair, your look, your choice.

But damn.  If anyone tells me that I "need" a face lift to avoid offending their youth-loving eyes with my wrinkles.  Why then, this feisty iconoclast will whop them.  Verbally, because I am non-violent.

[Four is Enough]

I've taken this poem as inspiration..

Spoiler

 

[melon]

On 4/24/2018 at 9:12 PM, griffin said:

i just get a few grays at my temples or crown so I comb Just For Men beard dye on it. Been doing it for ten years. It's NOT just for men and takes 8 minutes!

I'm sure it's cheaper,too! I'm 57,and I will be 58 in a few months.I was coloring my hair for awhile,but I didn't care for the price,and having to do it every 6-8 weeks,plus I hated the chemical smell,it also made my head itch.My natural color is a dark blonde with red and gold highlights.I have fair skin,sometimes,I went more red,but I felt like coloring my hair,for me, didn't look natural,and I tried to find a color within a shade or two of my natural hair color,but could not seem to.I am not completely grey,I have strands and streaks,around my crown of my head,and around my ears and temples.I do moisturize and I don't have wrinkles,but due to my dark circles under my eyes...from allergies,heredity etc,I think that ages me.Also,my eyelashes and eyebrows have thinned,better that than my hair,but I know that could eventually happen as I age.I rarely use make up.I have such sensitive skin,and it seems like they make my face itch,with my pale,fair skin ,I could probably use the color,but as others have said,I want to age gracefully.

[melon]

On 4/27/2018 at 1:06 PM, LurkerOverThePond said:

I just wanted to say that I absolutely love that FJ has so many ladies in their 60's and even 70's commenting regularly <3  It's always refreshing to read thoughts and opinions from people who have much more life experience than your average social media commentator.

Mr Lurker and I will both turn 40 later this year and I have been waiting for my first grey hairs to appear. I've always been very low maintenance with almost no make up, working woman's nails, and pretty much the same hair style since I was a tween (long and natural). Since my hair is really long but thin, I'm probably not going to dye it but just let it turn grey the way it wants. Though, I have to admit I was bit startled to find out that Mr Lurker has gotten a couple of grey chest hairs during the last year Where did our youth go?!?

Sorry,for the TMI,but a woman at work,was talking about growing older,she took care of her dying mother in law.She said "Virginia" goes gray,too....we all laughed,then.Mr.Melon's beard is silver,his chest hairs have turned,too.He is 61,but he still looks good to me.

[jozina]

I’m in Australia and barely know any woman under 60 who has embraced the grey! It definitely doesn’t seem just North American to me.

[anjulibai]

One of my aunts on my dad's side, C, went stopped dying her hair a few years ago, and she looks really good with completely silver hair. She's 63 this year and looks about a decade younger. It suits her coloring, which is cooler. Her younger sister, J, is all silver, too but she looks her age - definitely older than her older sister C. She has cooler coloring, too, so not sure what the issue is. 

My mother died at 60, but never went gray, other than a few hairs that she assiduously cut out. She had died her auburn hair bright red and then strawberry blonde for years, but later couldn't handle chemicals used. Not even henna, which she didn't like the color anyways. She used a small bit of sun in and lemon to give herself highlights. With her warm coloring, I don't think she would have looked good totally gray. 

I tend to look more like a combination of my aunt J and my mom, so I'm hoping I don't go gray like her and C, because I don't think it would look good on me. My coloring is neutral, though, so maybe. But I think I'll be dying for a while. I've done reds and browns and even purple, and I'm debating what to go next. 

[punkiepie]

I started going gray when I was 17 and by the time I was 25, I was predominately gray. What sucks is that I have very dark hair and it grows super fast- like, a minimum of an inch per month. And because my hair is so dark, you can see significant root regrowth by two weeks.  So in the last year I have gradually been going lighter and lighter in color and getting highlights because it extends the time between touch-ups. I know one day I will just go all gray, but I'm still young and not quite ready to throw in the towel yet.  My natural hair color, before the gray, was really beautiful and I'm sad that I don't have it anymore; well, there are a few spots in the middle of the back of my head that are still there, but I can't see them without a mirror and flipping my head over, haha. 

[Black Aliss]

Although I have cheerfully gone natural with my hair coloring I really do miss the fancy highlights I used to have--I'm just too stingy with my time and money to keep doing them. So, I've been looking at those hair chalks to add a little pop of color here and there. Has anyone used them? Are they hard to use? Do they wash out eventually?

[Palimpsest]

7 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

So, I've been looking at those hair chalks to add a little pop of color here and there. Has anyone used them? Are they hard to use? Do they wash out eventually?

I don't know about hair chalks, but @Hane has really started something.  @Destiny now has a teal streak, and (many thanks to @nelliebelle1197) as of late yesterday I am sporting a temporary purple streak.  Mine is a Clairol Color Crave product that was really easy to put in.  I haven't tried washing it out yet but it looks dy-no-mite!

[JermajestyDuggar]

That’s a wonderful perk to having silver/gray/white hair. It’s easier to dye a colorful streak. If I wanted to do a cute blue streak, I would have to first bleach that chunk of hair in order to get the bright color I want.