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Chelsy and John Maxwell 4: Will She Blog Post the Honeymoon


Coconut Flan

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My husband is a pretty bad kisser. I'm very glad I didn't experience the letdown in front of a large wedding audience :my_biggrin:. (He's also the most awesome person on earth and I find it endearing).

I don't understand people who proclaim that saving their first kiss for their wedding was OMG BEST DECISION EVER and SO WORTH IT. How could they know? It's like saying SO GLAD I NEVER ATE BROCCOLI if you've never tried it before. 

 

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I had my first kiss at 18 with my first boyfriend. We were dating for a few months and he was so shy, didn't initiate anything physically. So once at a party I got drunk and kissed him first. Not the first kiss I had dreamt of hahaha. We also were horrible at kissing for a few good months after our first kiss

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My grandma is 87 years old. She was raised Catholic in a very traditional rural village. But even in those times couples were allowed to kiss!!! Sure, just couples in a serious relationship, but still. And a non-touching courtship would have been considered weird.

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15 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

35 when I had my first. Because we were living in a predominantly Mormon area people just assumed Mr. Black and I were the grandparents. 

I was 38 when I had my first. There is a large LDS population here, but fortunately I don't get people assuming I'm their grandma. (Maybe they're just too polite to say it out loud? :pb_lol: ) My husband has been assumed to be their grandpa, but his hairline started receding in his 20s and he started going gray by 30, so there's sometimes an assumption that he's older than his real age. 

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3 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

My grandma is 87 years old. She was raised Catholic in a very traditional rural village. But even in those times couples were allowed to kiss!!! Sure, just couples in a serious relationship, but still. And a non-touching courtship would have been considered weird.

fundies would argue that this might just be another sign that catholics are in the wrong branch of christianity.

I feel like we haven't seen a non-touching courtship in a while. Or am I wrong?

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27 minutes ago, ophelia said:

fundies would argue that this might just be another sign that catholics are in the wrong branch of christianity.

I feel like we haven't seen a non-touching courtship in a while. Or am I wrong?

The no kissing thing is actually pretty out of the ordinary when you look at US history. Kissing before marriage was ok even in Victorian times. The fundies are the odd ones. 

Tayte Alexander’s sister had a no touch courtship last year. It was pretty obvious from the photos. Then the wedding pictures looked really awkward where they were touching. At least the Duggars and Bateses allow touching. 

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All the first kiss stories just reminded me of my mother's comment, on returning from a wedding many years ago: "when he kissed the bride it sounded just like a cow pulling its foot out of the mud."

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Chelsy’s description of her brothers’ double wedding make me think this is what she would have preferred for her wedding. She seems to love her family farm and I think this is just how she would have done things if she had a warm weather wedding. 

CFDEFF27-4F83-4AD0-B155-9D3F0C8141F8.png

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Dear Chelsy,

The Lover's Waltz is not an "old folk song."  Jay Ungar and Molly Mason wrote it in 1997.  I know, because I waltzed to it at their folk music camp, where they played it as the last song of a dance not long after they wrote it.

Sincerely yours,

Rosie

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My grandmother was old-fashioned.She did not believe I should be kissing any guys I dated.She lectured me..kept telling me I should not allow any guy to kiss or touch me..meaning holding hands...she said "Melon, they will think you're perfect"...my cousin happened to be visiting....she responded...Yeah,perfectly ..weird...did I listen to my grandmother..No.She thought it could lead to other things.

My mother ,however,told me I needed some breath mints.I had a date,later....it was "Melon,you need some Certs in case he wants to kiss you".

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My parents always sent me out the door for dates with "don't get pregnant". My sister went to boarding school for high school and is gay af, so that particular admonition wouldn't have had quite the same effect. 

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I just remembered being SEVERELY (sorry, Jillrod thread rubbing off on me) lectured about hugging my guy friends by one of my aunts. I was 21 at the time, right before I started dating my hubby, and boy did I catch it for daring to put my arms around people of the opposite gender! It was pointed out that one of my friends was short enough that his head was at the level of my (unremarkable) chest area, and that I "shouldn't" allow guys to press against my body. Now that I look back, that was an odd discussion!

 

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On ‎6‎/‎19‎/‎2018 at 11:04 PM, usedbicycle said:

My husband is a pretty bad kisser. I'm very glad I didn't experience the letdown in front of a large wedding audience :my_biggrin:. (He's also the most awesome person on earth and I find it endearing).

I don't understand people who proclaim that saving their first kiss for their wedding was OMG BEST DECISION EVER and SO WORTH IT. How could they know? It's like saying SO GLAD I NEVER ATE BROCCOLI if you've never tried it before. 

 

I am going to share a secret:  I was a bad kisser.  My first boyfriend either was a bad kisser too or didn't care or notice.  It never came up.  Also, I never had an orgasm with him, but I didn't know any different, so it didn't bother me.  I just thought that sex was okay, wasn't sure why people made such a fuss about it.  LOL.

But then I broke up with my first boyfriend and after I went to college, the very next boyfriend was a young man who had been the lover of an older woman and had learned many things from her.  He's the one who told me that kissing should be soft and slow, and seductive, not hard and fast.  Good advice overall for love making lol

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I wonder if my brother played "The Lover's Waltz" at our niece's wedding.  I know he played Ashokan Farewell on the fiddle.

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Dear John and Chelsy,

Whatever cute pet names you have for one another, well, good for you.  Very cute, sweet, fun, and all that.  Kudos.

Pet names should not, however, be included in the wedding vows you make publicly.  Before 600 people.  Oy.  And:  For the love of all that is holy, if the pet name in question includes the word "cheeks"?  Well then no, good God, do NOT share.  Keep that *sweet cheeks* term of endearment private, between the two of you, forevermore.

WTF were you thinking? 

Very truly yours,

Rosie 

P.S.  Traditional vows exist for a reason - they are appropriate for sharing in public.

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7 hours ago, EmmieJ said:

I am going to share a secret:  I was a bad kisser.  My first boyfriend either was a bad kisser too or didn't care or notice.  It never came up.  Also, I never had an orgasm with him, but I didn't know any different, so it didn't bother me.  I just thought that sex was okay, wasn't sure why people made such a fuss about it.  LOL.

But then I broke up with my first boyfriend and after I went to college, the very next boyfriend was a young man who had been the lover of an older woman and had learned many things from her.  He's the one who told me that kissing should be soft and slow, and seductive, not hard and fast.  Good advice overall for love making lol

Please don't judge me, but I'm in my mid-twenties and my boyfriend is in his 40s. Sex with him has been a less metaphorical version of A Whole New World (protip: replace every instance of "eyes" in the lyrics with "thighs"). I've had plenty of good sex before, but DAMN. 

Also, having taken dudes' virginities and been women's first lesbian experiences, I will say that first lesbian experience is way more fun, because it feels less like a tutorial or like I'm a naked, sweaty GPS (nope, a little more to the left...). 

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14 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

Dear Chelsy Renee, a "food line up" is called a buffet.

Cordially,

PennySycamore

I read that as a "food line" (was) up at the house. Food line may be slightly different than a food line up, but yes, still a buffet. 

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17 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

My parents always sent me out the door for dates with "don't get pregnant". My sister went to boarding school for high school and is gay af, so that particular admonition wouldn't have had quite the same effect. 

My dad would always say, "be careful but if you can't, name it after me." I loved my dad.  

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Hmm. Chelsy's vows:

Quote

Throughout our relationship, you have displayed to me a beautiful picture of the unconditional love of Christ. You loved me before I fully trusted you, and you won my heart by sacrificially choosing love even before I responded

It sounds to me as though Chelsy didn't jump straight into John's arms with squeals of joy when Daddy Bont broke the news to her that John wanted to come a courtin'.    Or this is typical Fundie maiden coyness.  Perhaps John had to fast while she made up her mind.

Quote

Thank-you for waiting patiently while I learned to trust. You have won my heart completely and today I give all of myself, without any reserve, in complete confidence that you are the man with which God would have me to spend the rest of my life.

The man with whom, dearie.

Joshua 24:15

Quote

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Of course you will.

Quote

I will go with you every step of the way as you seek to lead and guide our home for the glory of God. I promise to honor, respect, trust, love, and submit to you. 

And of course she submits.

Quote

It is my unspeakable honor today to join with you in marriage before God, and all these witnesses. I am the most blessed woman on earth to be your girl, and to become your wife.

It can't be unspeakable if you are speaking.  And her vows are way too long.

As for John.

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"I, John, take you, my girl Chelsy Renee, to be my wife, on this most exciting day.

 

He's got sunshine on a cloudy day.

Quote

I am so grateful for all that the Lord has done in our lives. God has been good and as Proverbs says, He has given me a good thing - you. Your price, Chelsy Renee, is far above rubies. I have found a virtuous woman, my heart can safely trust in you. I have always admired your heart for others and how you serve.

Translation:  You are so damn hot!

 

Quote

I promise to love you unconditionally and love you as myself. I will guide you and be your leader according to the Word of God, sanctify and cleanse you with the washing of water by the Word,

Translation:  I need a cold shower.

Quote

support you in life's tough moments, laugh with you in life's happy moments, have you by my side as we make memories together, and work as a team to serve the Lord.

Ok, I do think it is cute that they see themselves as a team.

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I will always be your safe place, your closest friend, and most importantly, your man.

Most importantly?

Quote

I take it as my responsibility to provide for you, and protect you.

You will never have to work outside the home.

Quote

I vow to be faithful to you until death do us part.

So I should hope.

Quote

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord! 

The house full of all the little arrows.

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I think Mary should do a board with lettering on it that reads, "Sweet Cheeks," for John & Chelsy to hang in their living room.

 

 

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I have a guess why it's taken Chelsy so long to post more wedding photos: I wonder if she thought the main Maxwell blog would have more posts like they did for the previous Maxwell weddings, and so she waited out of respect and then realized they were done.

She mentions her parents faces when she forgot her vows (they seemed to think it was funny and cute), but I can only imagine Steve's. The bride forgetting her all-important vows? Something he can't control? Someone not being perfectly organized? Things not going to schedule? Yeah, I doubt he was smiling. Or else an angry nervous grin to save face and not showing how mad he was.

I think it's lovely that she wrote her own processional song. It sounds like generally they got to add lots of personal touches throughout the ceremony and really make it their own. Chelsy seems like a really thoughtful person.

Ok but sweet cheeks? That makes me think of sweet bread and thus now I'm thinking of lamb pancreas and other meat cuts.

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On 6/20/2018 at 4:08 AM, Melissa1977 said:

My grandma is 87 years old. She was raised Catholic in a very traditional rural village. But even in those times couples were allowed to kiss!!! Sure, just couples in a serious relationship, but still. And a non-touching courtship would have been considered weird.

1. On 19 Kids and Counting, iirc, Jessa's wedding, the missionary pointed out that this is in no way Biblical. Loved that.

2. My grandmother, married in 1926, always said "The first baby could come at any time, but all the rest seemed to take 9 months...." #nothingnewunderthesun

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