Baby Vuolo Is a Girl

[AlwaysExcited]

Apparently, I guessed a girl on the name thread. I think it's my first correct Duggar baby guess in years. 

[mango_fandango]

I think a traditional/Italian sort of name will go well with Vuolo like Isabella or Sophia/Sofia or Emma. Non-Italian nice names would be Katherine or Lily or similar. Those aren’t predictions by the way!

My own name is Latin/Italian... AND the baby is due in my birth month... it would be too freaky if baby Vuolo was given my name and born in my birth month... 

They may just go for something Biblical. Who knows. Or go unusual. Nobody expected Spurgeon... hopefully JinJer won’t go that weird 

[eveandadam]

Rosalia Vuolo

[Chewing Gum]

2 hours ago, adidas said:

We were open about our name choices with our first baby and people felt like they should give their opinions. I didn’t appreciate it, so next time around we kept our lips zipped and they found out after the baby was born. We just answered the ‘what names have you picked’ question with ‘we haven’t decided on any yet’, which was a total and complete lie.

People always tend to do that. In the Netherlands people never tell the name in advance, I only know 1 friend that did that. We did tell our parents we wouldn’t use any family names so that they wouldn’t be disappointed and we told our middle stepkid the name of her oldest sister to-be so she could bond easier, but she kept her mouth shut too for about 10 weeks. 

My initial thought for them was Sophia, of Sofia, which works well in both languages and is sophisticated. I really hope they go that frilly girl name route and don’t pull a Harper or something. 

[CarrotCake]

4 hours ago, scoutsadie said:

Ha, I just spent awhile trying to figure out how "Capri" translates to "Jeremy"...until I realized that you meant it's an Italian name that he might like, not that is the Italian version of (or "for") Jeremy.

And I haven't even had any anesthesia  tonight!  It's clearly time for bed.

Bonsoir, all.

Haha same here and I can't blame bedtime on my side of the pond. 

[bella8050]

I feel like this is a bad time to have my username 

Anywho...I am on the side of if anyone was going to have a female first born I'm glad it is Jinger, Totally feel as if they were doing NFP or something else fundie approved, and that they won't have an endless number of kids which means Baby Girl Vuolo won't have to be sister mom to a brood before she hits her 10th birthday. And as others have mentioned, being far from The Big House she will not be a prime cousin-mom candidate either. 

As far as sex/gender reveals go...first it may be totally habit but all of my friends who have done said reveal refer to it as a gender reveal..I really believe it is because "sex reveal party" could take on a whole other meaning with the people I associate with. No matter the most fuss I've ever seen is cakes with blue or pink filling (several friends with twins so multiple cakes). The eyerolling elobrate parties the Duggars have has to be so TLC can milk an episode out of it while putting their viewers to sleep.

For me if I am forunate enough to get pregnant I would want to know what I'm having because I think parenthood with have enough surprises on its own.

Also the idealized delivery room reveal doesn't always hold up. I have a friend who decided not to find out the sexes of her twins, though she and many others were convinced she was having two boys. Friend was able to deliver vaginally which naive me thought would allow her a moment to register the babies sexes, first a boy and then a half hour later a girl. I asked her how she felt when they said the second baby was a girl...and she said she had no recollection of it.  Delievry was very hard and she was just happy to be done and have two babies with no major issues. 

 

 

[SweetJuly]

5 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

Does anyone know how accurate those harmony blood tests are? (That's what they are called right?) that's what most people seem to be going to and finding out before the first trimester is even over. 

If sufficient fetal DNA is obtained and there is no other complications (twins, with one of them being male or the fetus having issues with their sex chromosomes), the tests should be extremely accurate (around 99%)

I had a blood test done as it is standard prenatal practice in the country where I live. They sent me the results of the trisomy screening by mail, but would not have shared the information regarding the sex unless specifically requested.

My husband and I couldn't wait to find out  

I have mentioned before that I used to think I wouldn't want to find out, and that I liked the idea of being surprised by "It's a boy/girl" like a medieval princess, but once I actually was pregnant I felt that I needed to find out for various reasons:

- It made the pregnancy and the idea that we were going to have a child more "real" to me

- I am an anxious person and like to know things in order to feel "prepared" (it's more of a mental thing and has little to do with clothes or wall colours)

- We enjoy referring to our daughter by her name; it makes her seem more like an independent person and already active member of the family to us

We did share with some people, but are keeping it from others, including my parents. That's their punishment for spilling the information that I was pregnant to all my family before we had the chance to do so  

[subsaharanafrica]

My mom found out that I was going to be a boy in the early 1980s. I have several older brothers and she was in denial about the results of the ultrasound. She decorated my room in pink kind of denial. Then when I was born without a penis you could apparently hear her scream, “I knew it!!” All the way down the hall. 

[Jellybean]

My mother was adamant that she wouldn’t find out the sex of any of her babies (early ‘80s - mid-90s), but was confident that she knew without. She referred to me, the oldest, as a boy (I’m not, either by sex or gender expression) and all my siblings were given the same female name before birth. She was so desperate to use that name but, unfortunately for her, I’m the only girl, surrounded by a million boys!

[Exposedknees]

I'm personally defrauded by the ballet baby shower theme...because dancing. 

[AtlanticTug]

2 hours ago, SweetJuly said:

If sufficient fetal DNA is obtained and there is no other complications (twins, with one of them being male or the fetus having issues with their sex chromosomes), the tests should be extremely accurate (around 99%)

Yes, very accurate. Harmony can be done as early as 10 weeks and Panorama as early as 9 weeks. The earlier you do it the higher odds that you may not get enough fetal DNA in the blood in which case you have to redo it. It also may give a no result if you are very overweight, in which cases they advise doing the draw a week later than the minimum or so. We did Panorama at 9weeks2days. My obstetrician no longer sends people for first trimester screening if they can and are willing to pay for the blood test, which doesn’t cover just trisomies but also a bunch of microdeletions like Angelman or Prader-Willi Syndrome. 

[AreYouThereGothard?]

@Ivycoveredtower @Pete Pickles Totally agree about the “not a girl” reaction and the possibility of Sam seeing it down the line. 

My friend’s sister posts EVERYTHING on Facebook and I know more about her family than I care to (not that anything’s wrong with them, I’m just not close with them). While they clearly love their second daughter, Facebook comments were made about wanting a “little Matt” from some family members, though followed with “I’ll love them regardless!”. They’ve also made some comments like “if (daughter 2) was our first child, she’d be our only child”. I’d hope to hell that daughter 2 doesn’t get her own Facebook in 13 odd years (she’s 3) and finds all these comments. How should she not feel bad about reading stuff like that? It’s one thing to speculate, but to say “I want” or “I was hoping for” on tv or social media is asking for trouble unless it’s taken down or they never see/hear the comments. In Sam’s case, it would be weird to see all his cousins’ gender reveals on tv and not his own. And all the “it’s God’s plan” nonsense isn’t going to go well for a kid who finds out s/he isn’t want the family wanted. 

 

[Nomorethanfour]

We named one of our girls Francesca (after my Italian great grandma) and call her Frankie. That would never go over with these guys because Frankie is a boys name.

[Casserole]

I'm reading all of these beautiful Italian girl names and then just shuddering at the thought of the Duggar dialect Southern accent trying to pronounce them and just ruining all of them. 

[tabitha2]

I think the Southern accents- there are a lot more than one- are beautiful and flavorful. Would you say a Boston or Midwestern accent would “ruin” a name?  And the Duggars don’t even have a particularly pronounced one anyway.

[VelociRapture]

9 hours ago, Kailash said:

I find the idea of needing or wanting a surprise during pregnancy or childbirth to be hilarious. For me, there were plenty of surprises. (Spoiler Alert: not many good ones!) I expected morning sickness. I got evening sickness with morning nausea as well. (Plus 2 bouts of food poisoning.) I expected cravings. I got food aversions instead. I expected hormonal fluctuations. I got raging bitch hotflashes from hell fluctuations, with a side of ugly crying out of nowhere. So fun! Ah pregnancy. I truly don’t think I could have handled any more surprises. 

And let’s not talk about surprises during labor and birth. 

So much this! I got morning sickness every waking hour on the hour my first trimester, a surprise trip to the ER to address it, a surprise early December baby who was supposed to be a mid-January baby, and a surprise weeklong NICU stay. That’s more than enough surprises for me. 

9 hours ago, LovelyLuna said:

I love to plan and hate surprises, so I would want to know.  It would kill me not to.  I haven’t decided if we would tell anyone, not because I’m mean like Jessa, but because I want to try and do as much none gender conforming as I can.  I don’t want a bunch of stereotypical pink for a girl and only trucks and superheros for boys. 

I’m sad its a girl, it was bound to happen but I am still sad.

My advice? Avoid telling anyone if the people you know would definitely ignore your gender neutral wishes. That way you don’t have to deal with a ton of gender specific stuff, at least when the baby is little.

Husband and I felt the same way about avoiding a ton of super gendered stuff. We’re lucky our families are mostly pretty supportive and that they’ve tried hard to honor that wish for our daughter. She definitely does have pink and “girly” stuff from them, but it’s not a lot and it’s balanced with other colors and more neutral items too. We feel likes that’s a healthy balance until she gets to the point where she can really indicate her likes and dislikes.

(And be sure to look online for clothing options. My favorite place to buy clothes for my daughter is Free to be Kids - the clothes are really cute, well made, fairly neutral, and have great messages that flip the gender script a bit. I haven’t gotten a lot for her because other places are cheaper, but what I did buy was well worth it in my opinion.)

7 hours ago, adidas said:

We were open about our name choices with our first baby and people felt like they should give their opinions. I didn’t appreciate it, so next time around we kept our lips zipped and they found out after the baby was born. We just answered the ‘what names have you picked’ question with ‘we haven’t decided on any yet’, which was a total and complete lie.

We kept daughter’s name a complete secret. We had it picked out for about three years prior to her birth and didn’t want any unintentional comments making us reconsider. Everyone loves her name, especially my family since her names come from that side. We’re planning to do the same when we hopefully have a second child. 

And for anyone looking for a non-stereotypical Princess book, “Princesses Wear Pants,” is a good option. The main character, Penny, loves dresses and “girly” stuff, but also knows how great pants can be for getting jobs done. I’m not a big fan of stereotypical Princess stories where the guy saves the day all the time, so this was a really nice alternative. 

[Mavis]

I disagree with the people saying she won't have it a bit easier than the other Duggar daughters. 

Will they raise her jinder neutral? No. 

But I think there's a whole difference between the Duggars/quiverfull/Gothard and more regular fundies. I'd put Jeremy as a bit more extreme than the average fundie, because he is a pastor. 

I have a couple of relatives who are or have been fundies, and one of them had to be the traditional, beautiful, subservient wife, but her girls self-identified as tomboys and book nerds and didn't really face much pressure to be different. My other relative is a fundie and they raise their kids in a very gendered way, where the girl wears a lot of pink and does ballet (but still has a lot of character) and the kids go to Christian schools. 

I think that being a fundie girl is not what we'd want for our kids, but millions of girls are raised like that and it's not that much worse than the gender roles you find in broader society, in a lot of ways. I have fb friends who aren't religious who still do *a lot* of princess movies and dress-ups, and giant stupid bows for babies, and don't seem to offer much in the way of choice. 

I think the best case scenario would be a very well-dressed, demure, pastor's daughter, who is expected to conform to gender roles in a way that is much the same as many other girls, and is allowed to play a (suitably feminine) sport, and *fingers crossed* go to a fundie Christian school. But, in my mind, that's way better than a bone-tired sister mom to 10+ younger kids who is barely educated to a middle school level. 

(Personally, if I ever have kids I'll try to be relatively gender neutral, and at least not do the whole pink/blue, gross bows thing, but I know the rest of society doesn't really think like that). 

[subsaharanafrica]

44 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

 Would you say a Boston[...]accent would “ruin” a name?  

It depends on how you feel about the r actually being pronounced in the name Patrick. 

I kid, I kid. 

 

[SapphireSlytherin]

My January 7 guess from the baby name thread:

Jinger - girl 6 lbs, 10 oz - July 28 - Valentina Lauren Vuolo

[CarrotCake]

21 minutes ago, Mavis said:

I think the best case scenario would be a very well-dressed, demure, pastor's daughter, who is expected to conform to gender roles in a way that is much the same as many other girls, and is allowed to play a (suitably feminine) sport, and *fingers crossed* go to a fundie Christian school. But, in my mind, that's way better than a bone-tired sister mom to 10+ younger kids who is barely educated to a middle school level. 

Very well said. I totally agree and I see why most people here say that out of all the Duggars, they would prefer a girl to be brought up by J&J. 

 

[Hashtag Blessed]

@VelociRapture I used to think it was a little silly to keep baby names and sexes secret until I actually started to consider what our plans might be when the time comes. Now I’m totally converted to 100% secrecy. I don’t want gendered expectations from my family, or unnecessarily gendered gifts, before the kid is even born! My mom already has expectations for the son her psychic told her I would have soon. (Don’t get me started.) I will do anything to keep that shit at bay for as long as possible.

As for gender-neutral clothing shops online, I reccomend Primary Clothing. It is all solid colors, no logos, no quotes. Great for basics. I’ve bought stuff for my neices and nephews from them. 

And I will not tell anyone in the family our name choices until it is firmly engraved on the birth certificate. I’ve heard stories from my friends of the horrible and insensitive comments they’ve recieved from family. Even one persons mom who flat out said “I will never call him that.” The couple was so hurt they actually changed the name.

No thanks. I’ll surprise them when it is too late to change. Maybe then my family will think twice before they speak. But probably not, lol. 

[Nargus]

2 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

And for anyone looking for a non-stereotypical Princess book, “Princesses Wear Pants,” is a good option. The main character, Penny, loves dresses and “girly” stuff, but also knows how great pants can be for getting jobs done. I’m not a big fan of stereotypical Princess stories where the guy saves the day all the time, so this was a really nice alternative. 

A really good princess book for older kids is the Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C Wrede. I've loved them since I was in my early teens and I'm 30 now, and I can still pick it up and enjoy reading it. It's about a princess named Cimorene who doesn't enjoy 'traditional princess' lessons so she gets lessons in magic and sword fighting. Eventually she runs away to live with dragons, and she turns away all the princes who come to try and rescue her.  First book is about Cimorene, the other three introduce a bunch of other characters. But most of the characters are a pleasant change from the "traditional".

[Alisamer]

My neighbor is finding out today (assuming baby cooperates) what the sex is of the baby she's expecting. I can't wait to find out! For myself, I'm not big on all pink for girls, etc, but based on her current child and what I have heard her say, she likes at least some girly stuff for girls and expects a boy to be more, well, boyish. I'm a knitter and want to make her a few things, and it'll be easier for me to pick what she might like if I know what she's having. Right or wrong, a girl gives me more options, and most of the patterns I want to make seem a bit more girlish.

I have noticed, looking back at photos from my childhood, that back in the late 70's and early 80's at least the gendered color thing was not as big a deal. The "girl" clothing section of most stores seems to be veiled in huge amounts of pink and purple these days, but all the photos of my sisters and I have us wearing all sorts of colors - but very rarely pink! As babies, yes, plenty of pink. But as older kids we wore lots of primary colors. T-shirts were gender neutral. Knowing my mother I highly doubt this was any effort on her part to dress us less girly.

[Casserole]

3 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

I think the Southern accents- there are a lot more than one- are beautiful and flavorful. Would you say a Boston or Midwestern accent would “ruin” a name?  And the Duggars don’t even have a particularly pronounced one anyway.

I said Duggar dialect for a reason... they seem to have their own pronunciation rules from SOTDRT. Case in point - them trying to pronounce any Spanish words correctly. 

That wasn't a dig at all Southern accents as everyone seemed to take it as... but alright. 

[Georgiana]

I always have to put a word in for The Paper Bag Princess when I see people discussing non-traditional Princess books.  It's also a picture book, which is nice if you're looking for books for real littles.  It's about a princess whose castle is burned and prince is captured by the dragon, so she dons the only thing that survived the fire (a paper bag) and sets off to rescue the prince.  Using her wits, she is able to defeat the dragon and rescue the prince, but he sneers at her disheveled appearance.

So she tells him off and walks off into the sunset, happy, strong, and capable all by herself.