Michael and Brandon Keilen: Part 4

[cupcake]

On 7/26/2018 at 2:42 PM, habert said:

I have a general question about unexplained infertility if anyone is willing to share their experiences. How often is unexplained infertility suddenly unexplained fertility and someone becomes pregnant? Does anyone have any experiences like that? I know my mom tried for several years after my younger brother was maybe 2-3, and never become pregnant. And then suddenly after they stopped “trying” for awhile, she became pregnant with my sis, who was born right before my brother turned 8. I don’t really know what constituted “trying” vs “not trying” for my parents (and that’s a-ok with me lol), but I would imagine that it wasn’t a regimen that maybe some fundie women probably practice. 

I guess I’m just curious if any women on this forum who maybe where in the same boat as Michael if they think it’s still likely she could conceive. 

This is a bit of a late response, but I have PCOS so there's a bit of explanation there. I don't have endo but my hormones have been tested and it's definitely hormonal in my case.

"Infertility" is usually a medical term used when a couple has attempted conception for at least 6 months or a year with no luck.

My mother had my brothers at 17 and 19. She wanted a girl for years and years, and at 41, found out she was pregnant with me. Apparently she also had PCOS. I was a surprise baby =)

I think that there are so many factors we may not know - is she ovulating? Is she experiencing menses each month? If she isn't ovulating, then there are medications that kick-start ovulation like Clomid. Does IBLP allow such medical intervention?

I'm a practicing Catholic and we advocate the use of medications like Clomid to kick-start ovulation because it doesn't replace the marital act of sex. We even accept the use of birth control to regulate a menstrual cycle for somebody whose hormones are all out of whack (like mine for many years, as happens with PCOS) typically. The kicker is that it becomes "contrary to life" when it's used primarily as BC.

I'm not preaching for or against the use of BC and I'd never judge somebody for using it. It's a personal choice.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’ll explain what’s good about IUI. You will usually take clomid, they will check with an ultrasound to see if you have a good looking follicle or two you can release during ovulation. If you do, you give yourself a trigger shot so that the timing of ovulation coincided with IUI. You don’t want to miss that small window of time. When you do IUI the male deposits sperm into a cup and it is given to the drs. They have some sort of technique that sorts out the crappy sperm with the good ones. They inject the good sperm into you. The positives of this is that the sperm have less to travel. Therefore it is thought more sperm can get to where your egg is. Which drs think gives you a higher chance. So perfect timing plus placing sperm directly where they are needed are the positives of IUI. 

[KelseyAnn]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

 

The fact that they have not gotten pregnant yet doesn’t look good for them statistically, however it’s always a possibility if she ovulating and he has decent sperm. What I hope for them is at least try some fertility treatments. But I don’t know how their beliefs will affect that. Personally I think doing IUI shouldn’t be a huge deal but I never know with fundies. 

2

You never know. It took my cousin 10 years to conceive on her own - and that was after adoption. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

You never know. It took my cousin 10 years to conceive on her own - and that was after adoption. 

I know. That’s why I said “it doesn’t look good statistically however it’s always a possibility.” You and I are basically saying the same thing. Some people don’t want to wait ten years. I didn’t want newborns in my 40s so I got the ball rolling with fertility treatments. That’s one of the toughest parts of infertility. Michael and Brandon have been waiting for years to become parents. It’s emotionally exhausting. It’s so hard to live month to month getting your hopes up and then they are crushed every time your period shows up. I can’t imagine living like that for a decade and I don’t expect anyone else to either. 

Edited August 5, 2018 by JermajestyDuggar

[lizzybee]

It took me almost four years to get pregnant because of untreated hypothyroidism. My miracle first born was conceived and somehow stuck anyway in spite of the fact that my thyroid was in pretty bad shape. I got it diagnosed while pregnant and they've been working to control it since then. By everything I read, it was very unlikely I should have gotten pregnant with my thyroid so bad. With my thyroid under control, our second son was conceived super quickly and they're now 18 months apart. If I'd known it was my thyroid all along I could have saved myself many tears and so much sadness. I'm still adjusting my brain to the fact that I have two children. I'd been working so hard to accept that there was unlikely to be any and then to receive two in quick succession is taking me some time to process. 

 

[Hisey]

On 7/26/2018 at 6:13 PM, Ivycoveredtower said:

you might call it a myth but look at the many people that say the second they stopped trying they got pregnant. there are two stories just on this thread of people that got pregnant AFTER  they stopped trying after years of trying 

LOL. People told me to relax. They told me to "stop trying." My own doctor told me these things. Then we did a sperm count on my husband. His sperm count was 0. We could "try" or "not try" all we wanted, wouldn't make a difference.

Funny thing, even after people knew my husband was sterile, they *still* told me to "relax" and stuff like that. Like if I was relaxed,  I could magically make sperm appear during the sex act.

Because of stupid comments like this, we actually didn't tell many people, which was isolating. So I think it's better not to say such things.

Edited August 7, 2018 by Hisey

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 hours ago, lizzybee said:

It took me almost four years to get pregnant because of untreated hypothyroidism. My miracle first born was conceived and somehow stuck anyway in spite of the fact that my thyroid was in pretty bad shape. I got it diagnosed while pregnant and they've been working to control it since then. By everything I read, it was very unlikely I should have gotten pregnant with my thyroid so bad. With my thyroid under control, our second son was conceived super quickly and they're now 18 months apart. If I'd known it was my thyroid all along I could have saved myself many tears and so much sadness. I'm still adjusting my brain to the fact that I have two children. I'd been working so hard to accept that there was unlikely to be any and then to receive two in quick succession is taking me some time to process. 

 

Try not to feel guilty if you are not enjoying it much. There were times I was exhausted and overwhelmed with a toddler and a newborn after infertility. It stung when I complained to my mom and she said I should be grateful I have them after dealing with infertility. Yes, I’m grateful to have them but that doesn’t mean I don’t have horribly difficult days. 

[TeaELSee]

16 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Try not to feel guilty if you are not enjoying it much. There were times I was exhausted and overwhelmed with a toddler and a newborn after infertility. It stung when I complained to my mom and she said I should be grateful I have them after dealing with infertility. Yes, I’m grateful to have them but that doesn’t mean I don’t have horribly difficult days

I agree 100%. I cant imagine having kids that close together. My first 2 were 4 years apart with my 3rd 6 years later.  I really like kids but babies are not my strong suit!  Hang in there.

[JermajestyDuggar]

24 minutes ago, TeaELSee said:

I agree 100%. I cant imagine having kids that close together. My first 2 were 4 years apart with my 3rd 6 years later.  I really like kids but babies are not my strong suit!  Hang in there.

They are a little older now so it’s better! Although a certain 3 year old snuck out the door today at a play place and about gave me a heart attack when I couldn’t find him anywhere. I can’t wait for school to start :-/

[QuiverDance]

On 8/7/2018 at 7:35 AM, lizzybee said:

It took me almost four years to get pregnant because of untreated hypothyroidism. My miracle first born was conceived and somehow stuck anyway in spite of the fact that my thyroid was in pretty bad shape. I got it diagnosed while pregnant and they've been working to control it since then. By everything I read, it was very unlikely I should have gotten pregnant with my thyroid so bad. With my thyroid under control, our second son was conceived super quickly and they're now 18 months apart. If I'd known it was my thyroid all along I could have saved myself many tears and so much sadness. I'm still adjusting my brain to the fact that I have two children. I'd been working so hard to accept that there was unlikely to be any and then to receive two in quick succession is taking me some time to process. 

 

My two are 18 months apart as well, and it was extremely taxing when they were very young.  It does get much easier.  Hang in there!!  I hope you have luck getting your thyroid regulated.

 

[jqlgoblue]

On 8/7/2018 at 12:19 PM, Hisey said:

LOL. People told me to relax. They told me to "stop trying." My own doctor told me these things. Then we did a sperm count on my husband. His sperm count was 0. We could "try" or "not try" all we wanted, wouldn't make a difference.

Funny thing, even after people knew my husband was sterile, they *still* told me to "relax" and stuff like that. Like if I was relaxed,  I could magically make sperm appear during the sex act.

Because of stupid comments like this, we actually didn't tell many people, which was isolating. So I think it's better not to say such things.

Well that's dumb, but not shocking. When people don't know what to say they often say dumb stuff, especially I've found when it comes to things like marriage and kids. There is so much societal pressure associated with those things. It's like you must do them or you are not a whole person, and that just sucks for everyone who it isn't happening for. Yet, people don't know when to let up. It's so programmed.

[neurogirl]

Just in case people haven't seen it, there's a TTC thread in Are You There FJ? It's Me Jinger members only section (more than 75 posts). People looking for additional online support will definitely find it there (in addition to this thread). 

[Ivycoveredtower]

okay usually Kelly's birthday or anniversary messages are okay. the one she posted for Brandon and Micheal just made me cringe though. 

 

[Ivycoveredtower]

this Micheal's message 

 

[neurogirl]

@Ivycoveredtower I came to post the same thing. Everyone knows they are struggling with infertility. Michael didn't feel the need to post about that on the happy occasion of their anniversary. Kelly just needed to twist the knife. It's not like she brings up the 3 miscarriages Erin and Chad had on their anniversaries. Or Nathan's failed courtship on his birthday. Just let them have this one day. 

[VineHeart137]

I imagine the fact that they've hit three years with no babies in sight, especially in comparison to Michael's fertile myrtle siblings, has not been lost on her or Brandon. No reason to bring it up in their anniversary message, Kelly.

[Ivycoveredtower]

so I was checking out the Ellie blog and in honor of the Keilen's three year anniversary she posted an up clip of their photo shoot something stood out to me that I guess I didn't really catch the first time around. originally they were going to do the shoot before the wedding but were running late. Now this makes no sense to me in Fundy land. if they had done them all pre ceremony there would be no ring pictures. there would be no kissing pictures. it really just made no sense to me. 

https://www.batesfamilyblog.com/2018/08/keilens-celebrate-3-years.html

[HarleyQuinn]

Kellly's post was tacky as hell with that child remark.

[artdecades]

Wow, that post just feels needlessly hurtful. I can't help but think if that is what she is saying publicly about to and about her daughter, what is she saying privately?

[Ivycoveredtower]

7 minutes ago, artdecades said:

Wow, that post just feels needlessly hurtful. I can't help but think if that is what she is saying publicly about to and about her daughter, what is she saying privately?

Kelly is usually good about at least talking about her kids as individuals with out throwing religion into the post overtly but this one is just dripping in religion almost smacking Brandon and Micheal with it. like Kelly couldn't think of anything nice and personal to say so she just rattled on about being Godly  

[BeccaGrim]

I cringed.  Like okay...we all know they haven't had a baby yet.  But it clearly shows how she can't imagine any life that doesn't include an abundance of babies.  She can't even think of anything to say to her daughter that doesn't point out the lack of them. 

[SassyPants]

On 8/17/2018 at 9:23 AM, BeccaGrim said:

I cringed.  Like okay...we all know they haven't had a baby yet.  But it clearly shows how she can't imagine any life that doesn't include an abundance of babies.  She can't even think of anything to say to her daughter that doesn't point out the lack of them. 

See Kelly, that's the reallllllllllllly hard part of leaving it all up to God...sometimes God might decide your number is zero. 

 

Edited August 20, 2018 by SassyPants

[AtlanticTug]

On 8/5/2018 at 9:32 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ll explain what’s good about IUI. You will usually take clomid, they will check with an ultrasound to see if you have a good looking follicle or two you can release during ovulation. If you do, you give yourself a trigger shot so that the timing of ovulation coincided with IUI. You don’t want to miss that small window of time. When you do IUI the male deposits sperm into a cup and it is given to the drs. They have some sort of technique that sorts out the crappy sperm with the good ones. They inject the good sperm into you. The positives of this is that the sperm have less to travel. Therefore it is thought more sperm can get to where your egg is. Which drs think gives you a higher chance. So perfect timing plus placing sperm directly where they are needed are the positives of IUI. 

The thing with IUIs is that really the only people they help are people with sperm issues (mainly poor motility and to a somewhat lesser extent low count). They do nothing to help with anything else like poor egg quality, diminished ovarian reserve, poor endometrial lining, low progesterone, etc. In countries where IVF is fully funded by the government (there are only a handful) they no longer even do IUIs because the effectiveness is so limited.

Needless to say all things I found out after having several of them before IVF! Live and learn I suppose.

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

The thing with IUIs is that really the only people they help are people with sperm issues (mainly poor motility and to a somewhat lesser extent low count). They do nothing to help with anything else like poor egg quality, diminished ovarian reserve, poor endometrial lining, low progesterone, etc. In countries where IVF is fully funded by the government (there are only a handful) they no longer even do IUIs because the effectiveness is so limited.

Needless to say all things I found out after having several of them before IVF! Live and learn I suppose.

That’s weird since my husband has awesome sperm. He had it tested and the doctor said it was great in all areas. 

[HereticHick]

14 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That’s weird since my husband has awesome sperm. He had it tested and the doctor said it was great in all areas. 

If "My husband has awesome sperm" doesn't become your FJ location line soon, I will have to hurt someone. : )