Duggars by the Dozen 33: In touch with gossip

[mollysmom]

Wow! I'm learning SO much about myself in this thread!! At 40 years old I'm elderly & can't take  a decent selfie!! Good to know!! 

[SilverBeach]

11 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

Kind of, I don't like selfies but if I were to post one I'd try to make it flattering. I was mainly wondering if there is a generational gap in what constitutes a good picture.

Im 26 i don't take selfies, i think it's dumb and im not good at it either. I'm just saying so many people CHOOSE to take one and it's very unflattering, then they choose to post it. My parents and many of their friends do this too. 

.... my original post came out badly because I was at the rodeo try Ming to talk my husband out of doing stupid shit lol

Ageism, like other isms, is no good. I'm 62 and edit my selfies to only the flattering ones, but I don't do Facebook or social media so they have limited distribution.

Painting all of any group with a broad brush is nothing but prejudice. Your experience with us ancient folks is just that, your experience, and should not be generalized to us all. Maybe the older folks in your world are just unattractive.

Ageism irks me. Live long enough and you will see for yourself how annoying it is.

[Timetostoplurking]

16 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

Why does it seem like people over 35 can't take a flattering selfie? Real question please don't hate me. 

You win!  You officially made the dumbest comment on FJ.   Lol

[HereticHick]

5 hours ago, mollysmom said:

Wow! I'm learning SO much about myself in this thread!! At 40 years old I'm elderly & can't take  a decent selfie!! Good to know!! 

Inside, I'm a perpetually awkward 14-year old. : )   Sometimes.

Other times, I'm a secure middle-aged human, enjoying the accumulation of wisdom and experience, while my inner voice says (more and more, I'm sorry to say) "Bless Your Heart" to the youngsters around me.

[Nargus]

12 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

Are people really insulted by someone tying bad selfies to a certain age group????? 

I am over 30 and in my head people over 35 are still somewhat old (described a 40 something year old woman als elderly last year). Guess, it will be a hard awakening when this birthday rolls around. Or I accept that younger people think I am old and that I won’t necessarily fit with the aesthetics of 18-28 year olds (fashion, interior, popular poses for instagram...). Don’t all people feel that people ten years older really are a different generation sometimes(even though it should be 25y for that)?

And to be honest 30+ is not that young anymore. There are windows closing from now on all the time. You cannot start training for certain jobs anymore (air traffic control- starting age u25), you might think twice about starting university (not talking about a master or PhD), for women it is starting to get harder to get pregnant statistically and it will be next to impossible once they are fully in menopause...

30+ is also not ancient. I was a bit scared around that birthday as my life didn’t match the dreams I had envisioned for me. But then it was fine and I feel much better than in my twenties today. Age brought me much needed relaxation.

I guess it is all about perspective.

To me 'old' is however old my grandparents are. So right now, people in their 90s are 'old'.   When I was 10, it was people in their 70s (and my friends 102 year old great grandma was 'really old')

[SilverBeach]

12 minutes ago, Nargus said:

To me 'old' is however old my grandparents are. So right now, people in their 90s are 'old'.   When I was 10, it was people in their 70s (and my friends 102 year old great grandma was 'really old')

70-79: Young Old

80-89: Medium Old

90+: Old Old

I'm 62 and these brackets get pushed up each year. I consider myself upper middle age, haha.

[JMO]

People in my parents' families tend to live well into their 90's.  My mom used to refer to them as "the ancients".  She was in her 70's at the time and considered herself "O-L-D OLD".  

I've never seen that mirror pic of Anastasia.  I always get sad about the murder of her and her family.  It makes me sad that they were killed because of the family that they were born into and not because of what they had done personally.  Of course that still happens every day to people far less famous but the image of those girls in their white dresses is so photogenic and I first learned about it when I was about the same age she was when she died.  

Back to the thread drift I am 42, I only take selfies related to my kids or when I was pregnant to announce my pregnancy.  (I waited until almost term with both of them to announce on social media).  I think the 40's are pretty awesome in terms of my comfort with myself and my confidence with my abilities.  Do I still wish I had my body and looks from my 20's and 30's?  Yes.  But I wouldn't go back in time to deal with craziness that goes along with it.  

[SweetJuly]

Under 35 here and definitely taking bad selfies. I've never been great at posing in front of a camera, whether it is held by myself or other people, and I am too impatient to take more than 3 pictures. I'm also not trying to impress anyone on social media or search for a partner on Tinder; my selfies are just to entertain and delight my family who live scattered around the world and got bored of me sending pictures of landscapes and buildings, demanding that I include my face every now and then.

As for what constitutes old - once you become a parent, you are officially old, no matter your actual age, because that's what your children will consider and call you

[MadameOvary]

I'm 46 and cannot take a decent selfie to save my life. And I have often wondered how is it that other people seem to manage it so effortlessly. But one thing I know it's not related to age AT ALL. Maybe there are some aesthetic differences that broadly speaking correlate with age, but I wouldn't say the duck face pout comes out the winner...

[Audrey2]

I think of old as a state of mind. When my great aunt was pushing 90, she regularly went to read to the "old people" in a nursing home. My best friend will be 62 this year, but has such a young attitude and adventurous spirit that he'll never be old. His younger brother turns 60 this year, and he's already a crochety old man. The jury is still out on their younger brother. My mom is also a young 75. As far as I'm concerned, you can't do anything about your body's age, but you have much more control over your mental age. Derick, for example, is already a crochety old man!

[feministxtian]

2 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

I think of old as a state of mind. When my great aunt was pushing 90, she regularly went to read to the "old people" in a nursing home. My best friend will be 62 this year, but has such a young attitude and adventurous spirit that he'll never be old. His younger brother turns 60 this year, and he's already a crochety old man. The jury is still out on their younger brother. My mom is also a young 75. As far as I'm concerned, you can't do anything about your body's age, but you have much more control over your mental age. Derick, for example, is already a crochety old man!

Re: bolded - if that's true, I'm still about 16 in a 54 year old body...I spend way too much time thinking of stupid shit to do and then lack the self-control to NOT do it. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

Yeah. I'm 51, but my brain says I'm about 22. I still think I can do so much awesome shit - like getting up from the floor without groaning, or running an easy mile, or drinking/dancing all night and still going to work the next morning. Yeah. No.

[SilverBeach]

2 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

I think of old as a state of mind. When my great aunt was pushing 90, she regularly went to read to the "old people" in a nursing home. My best friend will be 62 this year, but has such a young attitude and adventurous spirit that he'll never be old. His younger brother turns 60 this year, and he's already a crochety old man. The jury is still out on their younger brother. My mom is also a young 75. As far as I'm concerned, you can't do anything about your body's age, but you have much more control over your mental age. Derick, for example, is already a crochety old man!

My almost ninety year old aunt cracks me up when she talks about helping the old people where she lives. Auntie does everything for herself and can get in and out of a bathtub. My daughter tells me how I neither look nor act "old". My mom lived to 91 and never seemed old to me, her spirit was timeless. Age is definitely a state of mind, although there are certain physical realities that come with aging they don't have to define you. Mr. SB is 65 and still does demanding work in the trades, although he is licensed in insurance and securities and does that too. He is in fantastic shape, we both enjoy where we are in life, including far more than ten minutes and some lube. I wouldn't go back.

[Inky]

That promo for counting on DID NOT make me want to watch the show. It looked boring, and contrived. It's just more of the same. The show is so fragmented that you don't really get to know any of the people on any meaningful level. 

I used to watch American Chopper (I have no idea why, but I did) and there was a lot more going on there with just the Teutul family than all those Duggars.

[Ivycoveredtower]

I found this old 19 kids clip from Ben and Jessa's engagement Jim Bob and Michelle were doing marriage counseling and man did JIm Bob ever piss of Michelle the look she gives him. 

 

 

[Bad Wolf]

when Michelle talked about how hard it was for JB to give away his girls because he had protected them for so long, I almost threw up. This was before the Josh molestation came to light, I think. Yeah. Great job of protecting your girls, jerk.

[subsaharanafrica]

On 4/15/2018 at 4:30 AM, SamiKatz said:

Not everyone has Kim Kardashian's photoshop skills, man.

I’d like to note for posterity that Kim Kardashian was born in 1980 and is therefore over 35. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I'm 47 and according to my 18 yr old DD I have no idea what I'm doing and am too slow w/ the selfie. I get lots of  and heavy sighs.  I get annoyed at her because she is so impatient with her "old mom" who doesn't do this shit all day long.  Then I go to my 72 yr old mothers and see photos with her finger over the lens, every single time, and suddenly I'M my 18 year old daughter and I get it. 

[karen77]

On 4/14/2018 at 6:04 PM, Daisy0322 said:

Kind of, I don't like selfies but if I were to post one I'd try to make it flattering. I was mainly wondering if there is a generational gap in what constitutes a good picture.

Im 26 i don't take selfies, i think it's dumb and im not good at it either. I'm just saying so many people CHOOSE to take one and it's very unflattering, then they choose to post it. My parents and many of their friends do this too. 

.... my original post came out badly because I was at the rodeo try Ming to talk my husband out of doing stupid shit lol

my MIL has a particularly bad one as her FB profile photo, blows my mind.

[singsingsing]

Back when I was trying out online dating, my mind was blown by some of the selfies I saw as profile pictures. I'm talking taken from (apparently) waist level, staring down at the camera, double/triple chins on display (remember, the angle isn't helping), a day or two worth of stubble on their face, old ratty t-shirt, not even smiling. And these were the pictures they chose to use to attempt to attract a woman to date. I couldn't understand it. And funnily enough, age had absolutely nothing to do with it!

[SilverBeach]

Age has nothing to do with unflattering selfies. Mugshots, too much or not enough smiling, I've seen it all. Some folks should stick to professional photos, especially for dating sites and Linkedin.

[nausicaa]

30 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Back when I was trying out online dating, my mind was blown by some of the selfies I saw as profile pictures. I'm talking taken from (apparently) waist level, staring down at the camera, double/triple chins on display (remember, the angle isn't helping), a day or two worth of stubble on their face, old ratty t-shirt, not even smiling. And these were the pictures they chose to use to attempt to attract a woman to date. I couldn't understand it. And funnily enough, age had absolutely nothing to do with it!

I saw one so bad I actually saved it. If I can find it again, I'll blur out the face and post it. 

Dude is straight up wearing a dirty tee shirt and shorts (like so dirty maybe he just came back from gutting fish?) and looking down at the phone so you can barely see his face. The best part is he is taking the picture in a FILTHY GAS STATION RESTROOM. Like there's speckles of dirt on the mirror he's using and toilet paper hanging out of the toilet right behind him. 

My female friends and I joke that we're going to start a dating profile consulting company called "Help Me Help You Get Laid." I swear we'll pull in a million dollars profit the first year.

[Carm_88]

I don't know, I have some very flattering selfies and some which I look like Jabba the Hut. I swear to god, I don't have that many chins in real life. I don't know how I manage it!  Take as many pictures as you want, in whatever form you want, someday you will look back and not see how "bad" you look but how much fun that day was! 

[singsingsing]

22 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

My female friends and I joke that we're going to start a dating profile consulting company called "Help Me Help You Get Laid." I swear we'll pull in a million dollars profit the first year.

Oh man, I will work for your company.  There were so many times I was thinking, "Dude, if you just took your picture from a better angle, wore a clean/ironed shirt, and smiled, I can pretty much guarantee you that you'd have a WAY higher response rate! So many women right off the bat just want to check off basic things like, 'Does he look clean? Does he look sane? Does he look like he often emerges from his mom's basement? Does he look like he gives a shit? Does he look like he's miserable/has an anger problem/might murder me?'"

[nausicaa]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Oh man, I will work for your company.  There were so many times I was thinking, "Dude, if you just took your picture from a better angle, wore a clean/ironed shirt, and smiled, I can pretty much guarantee you that you'd have a WAY higher response rate! 

We won't even get into the actual content of the profiles. 

Like, hey, maybe opening with a three paragraph screed about your skank of an ex-wife and how she cheated on you with your cousin and you walked in on them in your bed together and now you are being drained of every penny you earn by your divorce lawyers isn't the best foot forward?**

I don't know, just a tip. 

 

**I have seen this on more than one profile.