Sister Wives 6: Five Adults or Are There? Mariah Is Engaged.

[ifosterkittens]

9 minutes ago, Jrodseyeliner said:

Re: getting the surveyors out there… Why wouldn’t they do this about 2years ago when the purchased the land??  God I love this car wreck of a show. 

They didn't need the story line yet??? More likely it wasn't a priority, and they aren't planners; they seem to be fly by the seat of their pants people. They knew they would rent for a year, probably two, and it would take time to sell their Vegas homes (took longer than I'm guessing they expected), so if they had only planned to rent a year they would have needed to start the process as soon as they moved to Flagstaff, if not sooner. Financially I don't think they could have afforded to build until they sold a few of the Vegas homes because they not only bought the Coyote Pass land for $820K, they bought Christine's house in Flagstaff for $520K, plus they were carrying four mortgages in Vegas. 

If they were serious about building they would have figured out the lot arrangements, drawn the new boundaries if necessary, figured the cost of clearing the lots, where each house would sit on each lot, drawn up house plans and a tentative budget so when one house (in Vegas) sold they could start the process, and when the next house sold they could start the next house, unless they planned to build at once, but even then they could have gotten all the details worked out, and cleared the lots so they were ready to go. Building materials prices reportedly increased during COVID, and it seems everything is super expensive or on backorder. 

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I also love this car wreck. What I find interesting is how much the family has changed. SW started out as a show to try to normalize and decriminalize polygamy. Now the show seems to be how polygamy marriages went wrong. Meri and Kody haven't had a real relationship in five years, and he doesn't plan to have a real marriage with her ever again. Christine left, and this season will likely cover the process of her leaving. Plus Kody is angry, and he is not making any attempts to hide it. I do wonder if public opinion has changed on polygamy (with all consenting adults), and it is more accepted now? 

[DalmatianCat]

8 hours ago, ifosterkittens said:

 Plus Kody is angry, and he is not making any attempts to hide it. I do wonder if public opinion has changed on polygamy (with all consenting adults), and it is more accepted now? 

I don’t know about public opinion…if anything it’s probably worse thanks to all the reality tv shows that have been unable to show more than one or two truly happy families (and the most functioning family I can think of is the Dargers and they don’t have a reality show so their reality may not be super happy).

When the shows first started and people mainly knew about the FLDS, the thought on the Browns was, “at least the kids seem happy, cared for, educated, and all the adults are choosing this of their own free well and seem happy.”

Now, (thanks to the Browns) it seems like it’s impossible for any woman to be truly happy in a polygamist relationship. The “Seeking Sister Wife” show doesn’t help much either. Every wife (outside of *maybe* the one Mormon family with the farm) seem miserable and like they’re just doing it so their husbands won’t leave them.

[Tatar-tot]

My takeaway is:

1.  Meri wants to be back in Kody’s bed.  In her warped brain I think Meri thinks I brought you Robyn and you should love me for that.  
2.  Kody realized the simplicity of life being with Robyn 24/7.  Robyn is the true love.  I think Kody cares less about Meri, Janelle & Christine. 
3.  Robyn’s evil plan worked.  When she was first brought in the mix Robyn said she talked to her mom on her to make this polygamy thing work.  Her mom’s reply was something like make sure Kody’s time with you is special & it is all about him.  Robyn, with the help of COVID & menopause, succeed in having Kody all to her self.  

[Dominionatrix]

1 hour ago, Tatar-tot said:

3.  Robyn’s evil plan worked.  When she was first brought in the mix Robyn said she talked to her mom on her to make this polygamy thing work.  Her mom’s reply was something like make sure Kody’s time with you is special & it is all about him.  

I don’t think Robyn’s goal was actually to be the last wife standing, but I do think her approach to marriage made things harder on the other wives. I remember the episode where she talked about her mom’s advice, and it sounded like she was willing to swallow any negative feelings in order to avoid any conflict  during her time with Kody. Having one wife who pretends everything is perfect makes any conflict he experiences with the other wives more noticeable by contrast. To me, that seems like one of the most insidious parts of polygamy; wives seem afraid to be honest with their husbands (which means expressing negative emotion from time to time and having disagreements) because there’s always a comparatively cheerful wife waiting in the wings that the man can choose to be around instead. They also get such limited time with their husband that there’s pressure to make that short time pleasant and not “ruin” it by having hard talks. By pretending things were fine in her own relationship, Robyn made it easier for Kody to believe the problem in his other relationships was the wives, not him. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

Robyn had also been in the marriage the shortest by far. It was new, pretty, and shiny. Kody wasn't ignoring her the way he was ignoring the other wives. Her first marriage had been unhappy so life with Kody by de-fault seemed better. Now the honeymoon is over and the real nitty gritty is before her. Kody isn't bothering to hide his very real shortcomings anymore so I imagine Robyn is shaking her head at him inside. 

 

 

 

[DalmatianCat]

1 hour ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

Robyn had also been in the marriage the shortest by far. It was new, pretty, and shiny. Kody wasn't ignoring her the way he was ignoring the other wives. Her first marriage had been unhappy so life with Kody by de-fault seemed better. Now the honeymoon is over and the real nitty gritty is before her. Kody isn't bothering to hide his very real shortcomings anymore so I imagine Robyn is shaking her head at him inside. 

 

 

 

I wonder if Robyn will crack now that she has to be happy for Kody all the time because she’s only sharing him with Janelle (when Janelle is interested).

[Cults-r-us]

On 11/21/2021 at 11:53 PM, ifosterkittens said:

 Plus Kody is angry, and he is not making any attempts to hide it. I do wonder if public opinion has changed on polygamy (with all consenting adults), and it is more accepted now? 

Why is Kody angry? He doesn't work or parent or husband or provide leadership (financial or otherwise) to his large family. He is nit the person(s) who should be angry.

[JermajestyDuggar]

17 hours ago, DalmatianCat said:

I wonder if Robyn will crack now that she has to be happy for Kody all the time because she’s only sharing him with Janelle (when Janelle is interested).

The thing is, Kody is A LOT. The only way I could handle a husband like Kody would be as a polygamist. Because I couldn’t deal with him every damn day. He’s too much and would stress me out. I could probably deal with him better if I only saw him every couple of days. 

[DalmatianCat]

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The thing is, Kody is A LOT. The only way I could handle a husband like Kody would be as a polygamist. Because I couldn’t deal with him every damn day. He’s too much and would stress me out. I could probably deal with him better if I only saw him every couple of days. 

Exactly! And always before Robyn could count on another wife to call Kody out on a hare-brained scheme, or complain about having to move. She could be the wife who would nod sympathetically to him, while secret agreeing with the other wives.

Now, Kody ignores Meri’s opinion, Christine isn’t around, and I think Janelle will do what she wants regardless of what Kody requests. Kody is full of wander-lust. I can’t see him being happy in Arizona forever. Robyn will have to decide whether to go along with everything, or begin to stand up to him. 

I think Kody is done with polygamy, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Robyn is looking for a new wife to join the family on the down-low.

If Christine ends up in a happy, stable monogamous relationship (which I can see happening in the next few years), I think that will drive Robyn bananas.

[Cults-r-us]

18 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The thing is, Kody is A LOT. The only way I could handle a husband like Kody would be as a polygamist. Because I couldn’t deal with him every damn day. He’s too much and would stress me out. I could probably deal with him better if I only saw him every couple of days. 

With 5 wives to pit against each other and slither inbetween, Kody had a poor check and balance system for or his behavior and he ran roughshod over everybody. He had a lot more area over which  to spread his poor planning and bad ideas. Maybe spread out, it was less apparent to them he only cared about himself (although I've heard the wives joke Kody's 5th wife is his hair).Considering their financial history, none of them appear to have been stellar managers and bumbled along following Kody.  In a monogamous relationship, kody might have been shut down or kicked out quicker because nobody could tolerate his behavior. He might have ended up married 4 times, but it would have one at a time.

[ifosterkittens]

SW S16 E1 There’s No Me in Polygamy

STH- solo talking head

LSF- last season footage the adults at Coyote Pass when Christine presented the idea of moving to Utah, and no one was in agreement with her.

Kody STH- from last season footage (LSF) he doesn’t understand why Christine was so negative and so emotional when realizing the other adults didn’t want to move back to Utah. Two years ago they moved to Flagstaff per Kody, so I’m guessing this is roughly summer 2020.

Christine STH- LSF asking isn’t it obvious they aren’t building on the property?

Kody STH LSF says he and Meri haven’t been in a full marriage for five years since the catfishing experience. He thought she was going to leave, and he made it clear to Meri on their last anniversary they were not getting back to a full marriage. He said he is not kicking her out.

I think this might be last season footage, not sure. The adults (Kody, Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn) are at Coyote Pass all discussing the need for figuring out the lots/property lines.

Christine STH possibly LSF she never wanted the marriage she has now. They are estranged and have physically limited contact, no handholding.

Two Weeks Later- so all the above may have aired last season.

Kody STH he is going to all the wives to hear why Utah is not an option.

Janelle STH- she loves to garden (her garden beds are beautiful). Maybe one day she could have a farm to table restaurant; she has big plans. Janelle tells Kody they can give her the property and move to Utah; she’s staying in Flagstaff. A producer asks her would she stay, she said yes. Janelle wonders if Kody is trying to make the case to move to Utah, or if he is just making sure Christine is heard, and see if others agree with her.

Janelle asks Kody would he like to move to Utah. He’d move to the St. George area and thinks he can get Robyn on board because her parents are there. Kody said he has the desire to move there but wouldn’t move the family simply because he wanted to live there.

Kody STH said 3 of his 4 wives have threatened to leave him for most of the marriage. He said he would like to live in Utah, but doesn’t want to move, so for him it is either or. Kody claims now it is two princesses (Janelle and Christine) giving ultimatums.

All the adults are meeting at Christine’s backyard.

Christine in a STH said she is going to be enthusiastic and pretend.

Kody STH said Christine has traveled, and Janelle’s boys have social lives, so it has led to him feeling separated. Kody said Gabe and Garrison are blaming him, and calling him stupid for his COVID protocols, and he assumed they are hearing these things from Janelle.

Janelle tells the adults she will probably go to NC if they decide on a Zoom Christmas. Robyn wonders if they need to decide on Christmas now. Janelle said Hunter said this is the longest he’s been home and hasn’t seen Robyn’s kids. Kody said everyone can do what they want. He wants to do something hopeful to get the family focused on their dream of living on Coyote Pass, so he’s contacted a surveyor.

Robyn STH said Hunter hasn’t asked if he could come over, sit outside socially distanced, that would be cool with her. She said the relationships are struggling, and her relationship with Kody is struggling because he isn’t seeing his family much.

Kody meets with Robyn to discuss Utah. Robyn tells Kody she is frustrated it is even a question. Robyn tells Kody in school she didn’t participate in clubs or sports because she was scared people would find out about her family. Kody thinks people in Utah will see their family separate from other polygamist, and Robyn said only if they know our story. Robyn said what people know about polygamy is child brides, welfare fraud and abuse. She is worried their kids would be on the chopping block and would like to just settle down in Flagstaff. Robyn said you guys are ok with constantly moving, Kody said he’s not, Robyn said she’s not. Robyn said she understands and validates why Christine wants to move to Utah she wants that too; however, she can’t indulge it. Kody tells Robyn he needs to check with Meri, but assumes she’d stay in Flagstaff, and then tell Christine sorry but no one else in on the Utah train. Robyn said find another approach, not just that she is outvoted.

Kody STH said his discussion with Janelle has strengthened his stance to stay in Flagstaff. He is still surprised Christine was so thrown when the family didn’t agree with moving to Utah. He wants Christine to feel heard and validated, but doesn’t want to make a change.

Robyn STH she made it clear she doesn’t want to be a transient family.

Christine STH said she’s been asking Kody to get a surveyor for 1.5-2 years. She’s trying to be positive.

Kody STH they have four lots on Coyote Pass, he wants to make five lots, and he will solely own the fifth lot. The wives did not know he made this change until they met with the surveyor.

Robyn STH when discussing the lots she said it is a delicate dance, and Kody is not delicate.

Kody would have the lot with the pond to avoid any issues. Janelle sees issues with the pond being on one wife’s lot (cough cough Meri). Meri claims she doesn’t know why the pond would be an issue because they are family. Janelle would like green houses and for them to be near the pond. Kody asks the surveyor is this the best setup for the five lots? Surveyor said based on what he has heard from Kody, yes.

The wives in STH said Kody having his own house on the pond lot is dumb.

Meri STH feels it is important women have each others backs, and they often don’t. She doesn’t feel Kody’s new lot plans let Christine have the area she wanted.

Christine STH her original lot idea is now Janelle’s per Kody’s new idea. Christine said apparently no me in polygamy. Said she is trying to be an adult.

Meri STH wonders if Kody had the conversation with the surveyor Mike beforehand, and asked Mike to support his plan in front of the wives.

Christine and Meri said they will not commit to anything until they can walk the property. Janelle said to Kody let’s walk the property, just get the layout, and process it later, make the final decision later.

Kody STH said they (Christine and Meri) just want some power over something. He said he is losing his patience because he doesn’t care, and wants to get it divided.

Christine STH appreciates Meri is supporting her (saying that isn’t the lot Christine was considering), and needs to walk the property because if she expresses any emotion she will start crying.

Kody STH wishes he wouldn’t have let family evolve to the point of anarchy. Said it is because he doesn’t like to be controlled, so he doesn’t like to control others. He’s tired of negotiating.

Christine STH Kody wants the lot with the pond that has a dog house, chuckles house.

Meri STH cool with lot 2. Lot two is maybe 30-40% covered in trees (rough estimate ya’ll not great with estimating).

Kody calls wives over, they are asking the surveyor questions, and he whistles and yells hey. The whistle is not well received by Christine or Robyn.

Kody STH said the longer he lets the wives think it over the more challenging their questions. He claims they have been discussing this for two years.

Christine asks could she build in this spot on the lot Kody is proposing for her, he said yes, she said she is sold, and will take the lot. Some trees have been cut down, are lying down. Meri said lot 3 (proposed lot for Christine) is the best lot in Kody’s eyes.

Meri STH maybe she should take lot 3, and then Kody would come and visit her, then she laughs.

Christine in STH has accepted they are moving onto the property, so she has to talk herself into staying instead of walking away- constantly. None of her kids plan to settle in Flagstaff, they plan to settle in Utah.

Kody STH assumes a wooded lot has more financial value, so two less wooed 4 acre lots are the same value as three more wooded 2 acre lots.  

Janelle STH she’s trying to hurry Kody’s rambling not focused on the lot lines conversation along.

Christine STH trying to accept her house won’t be on the lot she thought. She thought they were going to recreate the cul-de- sac in Vegas. Thinks the new plan sounds separate and sad.

This season on SW covid conversations, property lots, dysfunction.

Sorry I can’t insert a picture so here is my description of the proposed lots. Lot 5 on the left, Lot 4 in the middle, Lots 1, 2 and 3 all touch Lot 4. Lots 1, 2 and 3 are shorter and longer, more rectangular. Lots 1, 2, 3 are two acres each, lots 4 and 5 are four acres each. Read Lot 5 and 4 top to bottom. 

Lot 5 Robyn                   Lot 4 Janelle                               Lot 1 Kody, the pond

4 Acres                           NE corner of lot touches lot 1                                           

Some trees on her lot   Least amount of trees                  Lot 2 Meri

On left                          Formerly Christine’s lot               

Bottom of lot 5             Bottom of lot 4                            Lot 3 Christine

[gustava]

Wow!  Thanks.  They are F%cked on so many levels.  That "marriage" is over.

 

[DalmatianCat]

It’s weird that Kody goes on and on about needed space for the “kids” to grow up together (Nevermind that 80% of them are grown), and in the last year he decided he needed his own plot of land for a gathering place for the “whole family.”

According to Instagram Janelle spent Thanksgiving in North Carolina with Maddie, Caleb, her grand babies, Savannah, one of her sons, and Ysabel.

Christine appears to have spent Thanksgiving in Utah with at least two of her kids.

Several of the older kids who have launched either didn’t spend Thanksgiving in Arizona with their dad or didn’t post about it.

In short…none of the kids seem super interested in rushing to Arizona to meet up as a huge family for holidays. (Maybe Christmas will be different, maybe Robyn’s covid rules make them wonder “why bother coming home?” Who knows????)

I feel like Kody really missed the boat on the Coyote Pass property. I think this is the dream compound he wishes he could have had back when the majority of his kids from the first three wives were all young. The fact that

1) most of his “kids” are all busy living their own lives

2) the adult kids are not interested in coming back to dad’s current home 

3) when they want to meet up with their siblings they do so on their own terms without converging on dad’s property…

…seems lost on him.

[Dominionatrix]

@DalmatianCat Avoiding a large family gathering also seems wise since Kody and Christine are essentially newly divorced. 
 

But I think it’s a bad look that Kody seems to have spent the holiday with Robyn rather than at least accompanying Jenelle. However, I do think the fact that he and Robyn have young kids together probably plays a lot into how much time he spends at her house. It makes me think maybe he was similarly careless of Meri’s feelings when her sister wives had young kids at home and she didn’t. 

[ifosterkittens]

Truely (11), Solomon (10), Ariella (5) and the grandkids (Maddie and Mykelti's kids) are the only ones in the Brown family who are under twelve and haven't had the opportunity to be vaccinated or fully vaccinated (depending on age). Robyn had concerns about Solomon having RSV as a baby, so she may wait until he and Ariella are fully vaccinated to be around others which could rule out Christmas 2021 depending on when they got their shots. 

Meri would happily travel anywhere to spend a holiday with Mariah if she was invited.

Janelle loves to visit Maddie and family, so I'm not surprised she travelled to see Maddie especially if she wasn't getting together with the rest of the family in Flagstaff. I could see Janelle attending better attended Brown holidays/events, but also going to see Maddie and her family, and her other kids for some of the holidays. I think Janelle would make seeing her kids and grandkids the priority, not Kody for the holidays. If most of her kids will be in NC with Maddie for the holiday that's where she will be. 

Even if Christine was still married to Kody and living in Flagstaff I think she would have traveled to Utah to spend Thanksgiving with most of her kids and her mom. 

Before COVID how often did Christine, Janelle and Robyn get the families together? Mariah (26) has been out of the house for years, so I don't know that Meri would choose to participate as much. I don't think the whole family (or at least everyone living at home) has done a weekly family dinner since the early Vegas years. Same with church, early in the Vegas years Kody led home church where they all got together, but I don't think that has happened in years. I think they get together to film the show, the occasional family get together, and holidays, but I doubt it has been a weekly thing in years. Kody went from house to house, but the whole family didn't spend much time together. 

When they had the cul-de-sac the younger kids could easily get together to play in one backyard or driveway. Once they moved to Flagstaff they would have had to make the effort, and I doubt they did. I wonder how much covid really changed getting together other than for filming purposes. 

Edited November 26, 2021 by ifosterkittens
Added a thought

[gustava]

7 hours ago, ifosterkittens said:

Even if Christine was still married to Kody and living in Flagstaff

How does one obtain a spiritual divorce:  Turn around three times, click your heels together, and intone "I divorce thee"?

[Cults-r-us]

15 hours ago, DalmatianCat said:

 

2) the adult kids are not interested in coming back to dad’s current home 

3) when they want to meet up with their siblings they do so on their own terms without converging on dad’s property…

…seems lost on him.

But it's probably not lost on his kids that while he wants to preside as glorious patriarch at the large gatherings, he does not appear to be interested in them as individuals or having a relationship outside of "I AM YOUR FATHER, worship me and go home.  Nevermind how they see him treat their mothers in comparison to Robin.

[DalmatianCat]

4 minutes ago, Cults-r-us said:

But it's probably not lost on his kids that while he wants to preside as glorious patriarch at the large gatherings, he does not appear to be interested in them as individuals or having a relationship outside of "I AM YOUR FATHER, worship me and go home.  Nevermind how they see him treat their mothers in comparison to Robin.

Exactly. 

There’s a lot of different ways to deal with covid. Every family, friend group, and “bubble” I know followed wildly different guidelines while still feeling like they were “following guidelines.”

Its not going to be lost on his adult kids that he chose Robyn’s family over any of theirs. Was figuring out covid guidelines amongst 4 different families going to be tricky? 1000% yes. But Kody chose the lifestyle and it’s up to him to find a way to make it work for each family. His kids didn’t choose this. I’m not surprised that none of them seem to be choosing him currently.

[ifosterkittens]

SW S16 E2 Four Wives, Three Fires

STH- solo talking head

Kody is exercising and Janelle asks what type of music he is listening to. Kody says Pachelbel Canon in D. Janelle in a STH said she listens to “German industrial rock, or older rockers like Eminem.” Robyn in a STH said Janelle went to rock concerts in Vegas. I am including this because I would never have guessed Janelle’s music taste.

Hunter is leaving for school, so Janelle plans a farewell BBQ. There will be three fire pits, one for each wife, and Meri will use one but keep her distance is Kody’s plan.

Kody in a STH said the kids have been complaining they can’t see each other. He thinks if he insists, they wear masks when seeing each other it wouldn’t be well received. He wants to do the BBQ but worries he’ll worry about exposure the whole time. Janelle in a STH said she’s following the CDC guidelines, and Robyn and Kody take extra precautions.

Meri STH she is happy Kody is coming over to talk about something, she doesn’t know or care what it is about. She is happy to be a part of the conversation. Flashback to Meri and Kody’s 30th anniversary. Meri said many people have asked why is she still with Kody, he doesn’t love her, she’s brainwashed, think she stays because of afterlife. She said she is staying because 1. It’s her family 2. She has confirmation from God she is supposed to be there. Meri said she is making a conscious choice.

Kody tells Meri he thought he would retire in St. George, Utah. Meri asks Kody was he on board with Christine in moving to Utah because Meri said you seemed to be shutting Christine down. Kody said he was shutting her down, and said he was being a “total jack wagon.” Meri in a STH said she had no idea Kody was more for the idea of moving to Utah (when Christine presented it to the crowd), and said no wonder Christine was so upset. Kody STH said a jack wagon is a jackass, a jerk. Meri asks Kody if he wants to move back? Kody said no, you can’t beat Flagstaff. Kody in a STH said he feels stuck in Flagstaff.

All in STH the adults comment plural marriage feels like others are in control of your life, the family is run by a committee. Janelle in a STH said you need to become easy going, and trust it will all work out, that God is in control.

Meri said she is not interested and has no desire in moving back to Utah. Kody in a STH wonders why he is torturing himself with getting all the wives’ feedback. Meri wonders if Christine feels trapped, and knows Christine is hurting. Meri in a STH said when she was in a dark place she talked to someone who wasn’t who they said they were, and they were manipulative. Meri appreciated Robyn being there to support her. Kody said Christine struggled for the first two years in Vegas, and wonders if it worse now for everyone? Meri said it is different, before Vegas they had all been together, they are used to and comfortable being separate now. Meri in a STH said there needs to be balance. They don’t need to be BFFs, but they need to have relationships.

Kody in a STH wonders if the wives miss living next to each other, because he doesn’t get that impression. Kody said he knows guys with wives in different states, and said who is to say Meri couldn’t live in Parowan, UT (the B&B), Christine in Salt Lake City, Janelle and Robyn stay in Flagstaff. Christine in a STH said she is not interested in a marriage separated by states. Robyn in a STH said if Kody decided to move and ignore what she wanted she would go with him. Janelle in a STH said she doesn’t think a cohesive family lives that far apart. Meri in a STH said she has a fractured relationship with Kody, and doesn’t think it would be any different if she lives at her B&B, but doesn’t think it would help their relationship. Kody in a STH said he has an amiable relationship with Meri, no desire for a romantic relationship. He said it is much better now, just not romantic.

Gabe is back on campus in college, his girlfriend is back in town, and Janelle is worried about his exposure, and asks him to isolate from the family for the next two weeks. Gabe has his own apartment within the house (own bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and laundry), so he can easily isolate in the house. Garrison and Gabe in a STH said they disagree with their dad on his precautions. Gabe says to Janelle theoretically the only way to see his dad is to get covid. Janelle chuckles. Janelle said it is scary and could kill her. Janelle in a STH said he is blowing off steam, it has been a rough 5 months. Gabe tells Janelle is he gets COVID and once he recovers if he can’t see the rest of the family it was never about COVID in the first place. Janelle tells Gabe she spent months trying to make her point, hit a brick wall and decided it wasn’t worth ruining the relationships. Gabe asked isn’t it damaging to relationships to not see each other? Janelle said yes, but we will survive it. Gabe said they would probably survive COVID too. Gabe asks Janelle is it Robyn or dad? Janelle said dad (Kody). Janelle said Kody is an independent decision maker. Gabe said “he’s also a freedom lover, and this isn’t very free of him.” Janelle in a STH said she thinks Gabe should choose his girlfriend over his dad, he can talk to his dad on the phone, he needs to live his life. She feels making adult kids stay home is detrimental.

Kody asks Robyn if he does the three fire pits, can Sol and Ari come? Kody said he will help corral them. Robyn wants everyone else to enforce the social distancing so she’s not the bad guy for enforcing it. Kody in a STH said there is a lack of trust with how everyone is handling distancing. Kody is worried about COVID affecting lungs and kidneys. Sol had RSV, and Truely had kidney failure when she was younger. Kody said Meri has been strictly quarantining and asks if Robyn is comfortable with Meri helping with Sol and Ari, be able to sit in Meri’s lap. Robyn doesn’t think it would be well received by the rest of the family is Meri can interact with her family, but no one else can. Kody and Robyn agree now isn’t the time to modify the rules. Kody in a STH said more than half the family isn’t willing to quarantine. Robyn tells Kody she is following his rules so that Sol and Ari don’t have to go two weeks without seeing him. Kody tells Robyn is hasn’t been easy on him that everyone isn’t willing to quarantine so the whole family can see each other. Robyn in a STH said everyone’s choices on how to handle COVID precautions seems to have Kody giving up on the family structure, and it has been difficult. She said she is shocked with how he is talking; she’s trying to not take it seriously, and just let him process it.

Hunter’s farewell BBQ is the first time the family is getting together in five months. Janelle tells her kids to be respective and social distance. Savannah, Gabe, Garrison and Hunter are there with her. Hunter said he told his dad he thinks social distancing in the family is dumb. Christine arrives with Ysabel, Gwen and Truely. Robyn has all five kids. Christine in a STH thinks it is strange there isn’t a fourth fire pit, and table for Meri. Meri in a STH said she doesn’t need a fire pit.

Christine announces Ysabel’s back surgery is scheduled, and is in six weeks (it is currently August 2020). Christine said Ysabel will have a four-inch scar under her arm on her side, and Gabe said scars are badass, sorry they are bad a. Christine in a STH shared a secret Ysabel wants a tattoo near the scar, and Christine supports it. It is a secret from Kody because he is opposed to tattoos. Christine said it won’t be a rod, it will be fibers which allows more movement. Christine in a STH said Kody wants them to wait until after COVID to do the surgery so he can come, but Ysabel is in pain, they are not waiting. Christine said Ysabel wants her dad there, and is sad he won’t be. Kody in a STH said it is a six-week process because you have to quarantine before and after, and he can’t be away that long. Christine in a STH said she and her kids have hung out at Janelle’s a few times. The producer asked socially distanced, and Christine said no, she had to choose between Kody and Janelle and kids and she picked Janelle and kids.

Robyn is heard saying stay six feet apart a few times. Meri tells them to stay apart. Kody is shown chopping wood, roasting and eating marshmallows. Robyn in a STH said she’s trying not to get frustrated, but she’s the ones chasing the kids, and enforcing the distance. Robyn tells Kody she’s trying to follow the rules, he said she is, he said he’s supposed to be helping and he checked out. Janelle tells Dayton and Garrison she needs to respect their mom, Dayton steps back. Kody yells at Sol and Truely to back apart. Kody made Meri a smore. Meri in a STH said she heard Robyn suggest the idea to Kody, and she’s happy he did it. Robyn in a STH is asked by the director if she suggested it, and she claims to not know what he is talking about, chuckles. Christine in a STH was nervous the BBQ would be awkward, but said it was apparent they all missed each other.

Janelle said maybe they can all quarantine for two weeks so they can celebrate the holidays together. Kody suggests they have Thanksgiving at Coyote Pass. Everyone is like no, it will be too cold, maybe snow. Garrison and Gabe in a talking head Garrison said he feels his relationship with Gabe, Savannah and his mom has improved at the cost of losing his relationship with Robyn and Christine’s kids. Gabe said he’s tired of it, and ready to have his family back. Kody a the BBQ said he personally knows people who nearly died and Gabe said he knows people who have gotten it, and had zero symptoms. Janelle said this is not the time for this conversation. Kody in a STH said his feelings are hurt, his heart is broken, and he is marginalized to where he is no longer the head of the household in a couple of homes. Janelle in a STH said it has been dangerous not getting together because you lose sight of the whole.

Next week: Ysabel is going off for surgery, upset her dad can’t be there. Christine feels like she’s at a cross roads with Kody, doesn’t know what to do.

[gustava]

Wow!!  Thank you for the writeup.  Anyone over age 5 can be vaxxed.  Are they not vaxxed???  What about wearing masks????

[fluffernutter]

@gustava I think this was filmed last year, when vaccines weren’t available yet. 

[ifosterkittens]

33 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

@gustava I think this was filmed last year, when vaccines weren’t available yet. 

@fluffernutteris correct, this is August 2020, no vaccine yet. 

[gustava]

Watch last night when they were sitting around the property.  Don't know when it was filmed, but Christine looks good.  Meri telling her to stick it out was......something.

[anjulibai]

The older kids are kind of dicks for being so dismissive of COVID. I get it's frustrating to not be around your full family, but safety is important. Kody should have thought of a way to manage things so his kids didn't feel abandoned. 

But honestly, this separation of the individual families was going on well before COVID. 

[ifosterkittens]

SW S16 Ep3 Not Social but Very Distant

STH- solo talking head

The adults gather at Meri’s outside to discuss the property lines. Janelle brought the safe conversation rules they came up with last season. Kody in a STH said Janelle wanted the same spot from the beginning, later Christine decided she wanted a similar spot to Janelle’s just a bit further back. Robyn doesn’t want to be near the pond, and Meri wanted to be close to Robyn. Janelle asks the adults how important it is to have property to divide among their kids. Robyn said each wife’s piece of property is her and her children’s inheritance. Janelle in a STH said in the beginning of the marriages (likely pre-Robyn) everything was common money, over the years the conversation has changed to what happens if I (an adult) die because we aren’t legally bound together. Janelle in the STH said it has been a change in culture and made them more separate. Christine in a STH said they’ve never put down roots, so she hasn’t thought about the piece of property as an inheritance.

Janelle starts with what she would like, greenhouses, which means no trees. Meri said she is on board if she can be fed from the greenhouses. Janelle in a STH said she teases the kids, she’s going to let her hair grow long and go grey, wear tie die skirts, and be a witchy woman. So for Janelle that means lot 4 (ideal because it is near the pond), or lot 5 (Robyn’s proposed lot). No one wants to go next in saying what they want after Janelle. Robyn finally says no trees, and she doesn’t want to be near the pond, so that is lot 5. Meri said she wants light and trees, a small house, not huge house, she’s fine with lot 2. Lot 1 is NE corner Kody’s lot with the pond. Lot 2 is just south of Lot 2, so northern border touches Lot 1 (Kody), western border touches Lot 4 (Janelle), southern border Lot 3 (Christine). Lot 3 would have Lot 2 to the north (Meri), and Lot 4 (Janelle to the west). Christine said she does not love the new configuration, and said the lot feels small, and very close to Meri. Christine said she doesn’t want to be that close to Meri. Christine tells the adults she is great with Lot 3. When pressed Christine said she is trying to convince herself she likes Lot 3, and she’s trying to be a team player. Janelle in a STH said what Christine wanted with the view of the hill and valley is Lot 4, but Lot 4 is ideal for her (Janelle), so there is a conflict. Christine in a STH said Kody knew she wanted Lot 4, and to be told greenhouses are more important then where she wants to live is difficult. Meri jokes says lot 4 and ½ is her preferences, the wives all laugh, Kody is scowling. Kody in a STH said it is not a joke to him.

The wives agree Robyn 5, Janelle 4, Christine 3, Meri 2, and Christine asks Kody is he good with 1, and he said it is last pick. Kody in a STH said it is an asset he can’t sell because the full family wants access to the pond. Kody said the wives can sell theirs, take the money and go, he can’t. He said the wives have freedom, he does not. The wives are thrilled the lots are picked, Kody said he’s going to call Mike, and Christine said first let’s do a group prayer. Christine in a STH said she wants to move back to Utah, doesn’t want to live on the property while she and Kody are struggling, and see others have full functioning marriages. She said today she is pretending. Kody in a STH said he is worried the wives are holding onto a card, I didn’t get exactly what I want, you don’t spend enough time with me, you don’t love me enough, and “our children and our problem children are your fault.” (He did not elaborate on the problem children line, but I would love to know the context). He said it is heartbreaking and psychically damaging for him as the husband. He wants a happy, satisfied family, that are ok with the choices they’ve made.

Christine gathers the crowd outside at her house under the pretense of news about the property, but that isn’t the real reason. Janelle in a STH said this is the second gathering in a short amount of time, she is happy, and Janelle suspects she knows the reason for gathering. Meri, Kody, Robyn, Breanna (masked), Aurora (masked), Janelle, Gabe (masked), Savannah (masked), Christine, Gwen, Ysabel and Truely are physically attending, others are on electronics. They all arrived with masks, but the four with masked next to their names appear to remain masked the whole time while outside. Christine uncovers a large TV and Mykelti and Tony are on screen, and announce they are pregnant. Mykelti and Tony have been married for four years, and live in St. George, UT. They suspect it is a girl, not confirmed. Christine in a STH said she has her kids, and our kids, but all grandchildren are our grandchildren. Janelle is crying, and in a STH said she is just as excited about this grandbaby, as she was about the others (Maddie’s).

Christine’s grandma name is Oma, and Tony’s mom Maria will be Abuela. Robyn is Bubby. Janelle is Grandma. Meri said she doesn’t have an assigned grandma name. If it is a girl Avalon Marie Padron, a boy Antonio something or other Padron. Then Mykelti said Antonio the third (perhaps they didn’t want to disclose Tony’s full legal name on TV). Mykelti is due at the end of March (2021).

Christine and Kody meet out at Coyote Pass. Christine in a STH said she and Kody have been struggling for a while and want different things in their relationship. Christine in the STH said she doesn’t want to talk to Kody right now. Kody tells Christine when she first brought up the idea to move to Utah, he got giddy. Christine in a STH said Kody was giddy and excited, she thought he was on her team when she brought it up to the other adults at the end of last season (which was one month earlier). Christine in the STH said she felt betrayed with how Kody responded. Kody tells Christine he felt he cut her off too harshly, he was trying to be stoic, and apologizes. Christine says thank you, and said it was hard to hear. Christine in a STH said he should say ass, not stoic, she said he wishes he was stoic. Christine in her STH continues to say she doesn’t want to be there talking to Kody, and she doesn’t trust a word he says. She doesn’t believe he is sorry.

Kody in a STH said he doesn’t want to go through what wife said what about moving to Utah. Kody tells Christine he has talked to the wives, and he said there are mixed emotions. Christine asks about moving? Kody tells Christine he would rather not tell her what the wives said and let her figure out where she (Christine) is. Christine in a STH wonders why he went behind her back, and had these conversations with the wives, which part of him should she believe? Christine asks Kody is moving back to Utah still on the table? Kody in a STH said no, it’s not the table, she hasn’t heard us all say no. He claims he wants to be subtle about it, and said Christine is not warm, she’s still bugged about it. Christine tells Kody she doesn’t want to ride the emotional roller coaster. Kody asks Christine is she sees better reasons to stay than to go so she doesn’t feel trapped by the family’s decision. Christine in a STH wonders if Kody wants her to say she’s fine with Flagstaff, and not moving to Utah, Kody confirms this in a STH.

Christine tells Kody she has family in Utah, it feels like home, and they don’t have a community in Flagstaff. Christine tells Kody there are reasons she doesn’t want to discuss about why she would like to move back to Utah. Kody in a STH said he constantly feels like he can’t make Christine happy with anything, and he is starting to wonder why that is. Kody asks Christine what do we do? Kody says if they start building the homes, and Christine said she’s not ready to build her home yet. Christine in a STH says she doesn’t want to live near a full functioning marriage when hers is dysfunctional. Kody in a STH wonders does she not want to be near her SWs? He said she wasn’t happy in Lehi, not happy in Vegas, what can he do if the only thing that will make her happy is moving to Utah? He said that isn’t fair to the rest of the family. Christine in a STH said she thought her relationship with Kody would get better once they moved to the cul de sac in Vegas, but it didn’t. She said in the STH it would be easier to stay if they weren’t struggling and wanted the same type of full marriage.

Kody asks Christine to tell him more about her feeling about moving to Utah. Kody said “like right now you couldn’t even have access to your dad.” (No elaboration or context clues to understand what that really means). Christine tells Kody it is not a safe conversation anymore. Kody asks why not? Christine said because he is not safe. Kody asks I’m not safe. Christine tears up, said she’s not going to talk to him, and walks off. Kody in a STH asks what did he say that was unsafe? Christine in a STH said Kody is not her friend right now, so why would she discuss things close to her heart with him? She feels at a crossroads and doesn’t know what to do.

 The next day (after Christine and Kody’s conversation at the property) the adults meet outside at Christine’s with Ysabel to discuss the surgery. The following day they leave for Ysabel’s surgery. Kody in a STH said Christine and Ysabel have traveled quite a bit over the summer. (I’m guessing this is September 2020). Janelle in a STH said when they aren’t getting together as a family it is easy to imagine stories the other wives and/or Kody are saying or doing, and it is a dangerous mindset, and suspects it is happening to all of them. Christine explains the surgery, several screws will be attached to the spine, they add fibers, tighten the screws and it straightens the spine. Ysabel said she the doctor told her she can be two to three inches taller after the surgery. Kody said he doesn’t believe two inches taller. Christine in a STH said Ysabel wants no pain after the surgery has healed, she also wants to be 6 feet tall, and if she gains two inches from the surgery, she will be 6 feet. Ysabel in a STH said she think Kody is embarrassed she will be taller than him if she gains the two to three inches.

Robyn asks Ysabel what she is most looking forward to after the surgery. Ysabel says being more pain free, driving without pain, waking up, going to bed, breathing without pain. Ysabel in a STH said she gets sharp pains down her back when she moves. The wives in STH all agree they have empathy for Ysabel, and just because she isn’t their daughter, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt them to know she is living with pain. Ysabel in a STH thinks it will be easier on her mom after the surgery because it has been difficult for her mom to watch her daughter be in pain. Christine in a STH said she feels partly responsible for pain, and said the surgery is the only thing she can do to help her. Christine tells the group Ysabel will be in ICU for recovery, they have to stay in New Jersey (where they are having the surgery) for a minimum of five days after being released from the hospital and will fly home October 11, 2020. Christine is taking Gwen, Truely and Ysabel. They will be gone for a month, and a two-week quarantine after they get home, so Kody won’t see the kids for a while. Janelle said so it is like a vacation, and Christine said yes, we are looking at it positively as a two-week vacation before the surgery.

Kody in a STH said originally the family all agreed to quarantine, not travel, then Christine and her kids started traveling extensively, so his time to see the kids is limited. Kody in the STH said when Christine presented doing the surgery during summer, during COVID he became antagonistic. He claims he felt Christine was taking advantage of situation to make it a vacation, and it wasn’t primarily about Ysabel’s pain level or her best interest. He said he wasn’t aware of Ysabel’s daily pain. The wives all wish Ysabel luck and ask for updates. Kody in a STH contends if it wasn’t for the pain he would have said wait for the surgery, but he has accepted it, and is happy she’s getting the surgery now. He said it is a challenge for him.

Flashback to two months ago when Kody told Ysabel and Christine, they can pretend there is no pandemic. Ysabel and Christine said they aren’t pretending, and the doctors wouldn’t do the surgery if they didn’t think it was safe and necessary. Kody in STH said he sometimes has a relationship with children through the wife. He regrets not talking to Ysabel privately and safely and figuring out what she needed instead of judging how Christine was handling it. Kody tells Ysabel he is sorry he can’t go, and she said it is ok. Kody in a STH said he wants to be there for her, be a strength for her, and that a parent’s love is a healing element. Kody asks Ysabel she isn’t going to become a bitter old housewife because he wasn’t there for the surgery? Ysabel said no. He asks that she understands, and she says she does. Ysabel in a STH through tears says she needs him there, and asks why wouldn’t he be there? She thinks his priorities are screwed up. Kody in a STH said he is not going because of the time to quarantine because of COVID, and risk of COVID exposure. Ysabel tells Kody she won’t be bitter and won’t hold it against him. Kody said he had no idea how much pain she is in and is glad she is doing the surgery now. Ysabel in a STH acknowledges he has other kids to think about, and said it sucks he can’t be there. Kody tells Ysabel they will do something fun when she gets back. Kody in a STH said he doesn’t want Ysabel to be bitter, and it is difficult they are doing it without him. Ysabel in a STH said her dad is brave and strong and is letting fear control him. She asks in the STH how long are you going to put your life on hold?

Christine brings paperwork out to Kody to sign (neither are wearing masks), he asks what he is signing, she steps in to point and Kody tells Christine she isn’t social distancing. Kody in a STH said Christine has been traveling so she needs to maintain distance. Robyn in STH said Kody has been in a bad place mentally and emotionally during the pandemic. Robyn said he has disagreements with the wives on social distancing/travel. Robyn said she is sticking to his rules, so she sees him the most. She said he is worried about the unity of the family. Christine said the paperwork says they will cover whatever insurance doesn’t cover. Christine in a STH said it is difficult emotionally to be around Kody. Kody in a STH said it is awkward, it is not the experience of soulmates, or of people who love and respect one another. Kody in a STH said the experience is one of distance. Christine in a STH said it has been bad for a long time with Kody, wishes he was there for Ysabel’s sake, not hers. Kody in a STH said he has regret, and the disparity in behavior with his family during COVID is difficult. He said it is an indicator they are screwing up so badly, and it is breaking his heart.

Next time: Janelle and Meri discuss old issues.

Lot assignments read top to bottom.

Lot 5 R                 Lot 4 J               Lot 1 Kody

Robyn                 Janelle                Lot 1 has pond

Few trees           Near pond           Lot 2 Meri

Away from pond  Few trees          Lot 2 has some trees

Ideal lot for R     Ideal lot for J      Lot 3 Christine

Bottom of 5       Bottom of 4       Lot 3 has some trees