Bill Hybels (Willow Creek) Accused of Sexual Misconduct

[Joy83]

I appreciate your patience and good feedback. I don’t mean to sound angry. I just simply want the truth. 

I sat in a meeting on Friday and the elders and Bill systematically denied all alleged incident, there was a retraction from a woman who said they had a consensual affair, and there were 2 investigations. 

I think it’s important to figure out the truth and I don’t feel like I have that. 

 

 

[AmazonGrace]

3 hours ago, Joy83 said:

I and many others have to now deal with a potentially lying pastor, his lying family and lying elders. 

 

Would you rather have a lying pastor, his lying family and lying elders and not know about it?

Sweeping bad things under the rug wouldn't make anyone more honest

[molecule]

26 minutes ago, Joy83 said:

I think it’s important to figure out the truth and I don’t feel like I have that. 

Not yet, but remember Luke 8:17: For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.

The truth will become known in time. What you are experiencing now is, unfortunately, part of the process of coming into the light.

[EowynW]

1 hour ago, Joy83 said:

I appreciate your patience and good feedback. I don’t mean to sound angry. I just simply want the truth. 

I sat in a meeting on Friday and the elders and Bill systematically denied all alleged incident, there was a retraction from a woman who said they had a consensual affair, and there were 2 investigations. 

I think it’s important to figure out the truth and I don’t feel like I have that. 

 

 

It will take a bit for things to come out. Trust me. We've been there. 

[EowynW]

http://thewartburgwatch.com/2018/03/26/bill-hybels-of-willow-creek-accused-of-sexual-misconduct-why-i-believe-there-is-a-metoo-problem/

[formergothardite]

2 hours ago, EowynW said:

http://thewartburgwatch.com/2018/03/26/bill-hybels-of-willow-creek-accused-of-sexual-misconduct-why-i-believe-there-is-a-metoo-problem/

Quote

For nine months, John Ortberg tried unsuccessfully to set up a meeting between Hybels and the four of them. Hybels said he would meet with them as a group only if he could do one-on-one meetings first. Concerned Hybels may try to intimidate them in individual meetings, they refused, Ortberg said

Bill Gothard did something similar if I recall correctly 

Quote

Hybels told her that the woman at the center of the inquiry was suicidal. He said he continued to offer her counseling — a clear conflict, in Ortberg’s view, for someone in Hybels’ position.

Things like this are why I wouldn't take the retraction as absolute proof nothing happened. 

Quote

 

told Mellado in text messages that he found 1,150 emails between the woman and Hybels, but was not able to read them. He then alerted other elders about the situation, said Pam Orr and Rob Campbell, two elders at that time.

Though Hybels offered his electronic devices and financial records for review, the elders were unable to read the emails.

 

So he sent this woman over 1,000 emails, yet no one can read them? The church investigators just took his word that all of them were okay? 

 

Quote

 

Hybels should never downplay abuse just because it happened *20 years ago.* That is naive and condescending to victims who still suffer from abuse *20 years ago.*

Why is Hybels counseling the woman who supposedly lied? How weird and inappropriate is that?

Could the lady, who they claim admitted to lying, have actually been telling the truth? She warned them that she would not admit to it if asked. She was also suicidal. I would say that this whole incident is in question and should not be used by the church as a proof that this is all a conspiracy of lies.

 

Exactly. 

[livinginthelight]

A great article with excellent points and really good comments as well.

[SilverBeach]

The problem, as I mentioned before, is that sexual misconduct seldom has smoking gun evidence to prove it happened. There may not be any courtroom type evidence at all. It's important to remember the unique nature of sexual misconduct.

So, how is the "truth" determined in these cases? The accused sometimes confess, but more often do not and resolutely deny everything as Hybels is doing here. Sometimes accusers recant, so perhaps the truth is that the accusations were without merit. Or the accuser got cold feet and couldn't take being in the hot seat, having accused the "man of God" of terrible things.

It's an unfortunate fact that in this world, sexual abuse is rampant. I was abused by my stepfather as a young girl. No evidence. But it happened. And had I spoke up (not common in the 1960s), I would have been crushed if the truth of my abuse was questioned.

So, for me, I lean toward believing accusers even in the absence of hard evidence. Otherwise, victims have no chance to obtain justice. 

Are false complaints made? Yes, but there likely won't be a series of them spanning decades. I believe false accusations are a small minority of cases.

 

[EowynW]

24 minutes ago, livinginthelight said:

A great article with excellent points and really good comments as well.

It's one of my favorite sites. Mingling in the comments healing to me. 

[molecule]

42 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

For nine months, John Ortberg tried unsuccessfully to set up a meeting between Hybels and the four of them. Hybels said he would meet with them as a group only if he could do one-on-one meetings first. Concerned Hybels may try to intimidate them in individual meetings, they refused, Ortberg said

This was the part of the article that really caught my attention because it shows manipulation, denial, and a desire to control. I can understand why a person without guilt might request one-on-one meetings. That is always my preference, because I can focus and better hear what is being said. But to insist on it, to the point where after nine months the other party stops trying? Just no. That's a whole lot of smoke right there for me.

[SilverBeach]

Hugely successful business people, and mega church leaders are nothing if not business people, excel at manipulation and control. Its not always nefarious, but it's there. Hybels is no exception.

The standing ovation makes me a lot less sympathetic to WC. Reminds me of the late Eddie Long and New Birth church near Atlanta. So many blindly worshipful congregants there, it was sickening.

The emphasis is totally on forgiveness of the wrongdoers, without any empathy for their victims. I hate that.

[formergothardite]

2 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

The standing ovation makes me a lot less sympathetic to WC. Reminds me of the late Eddie Long and New Birth church near Atlanta. So many blindly worshipful congregants there, it was sickening.

Yeah, I lost a lot of sympathy for them over that too. Sometimes people make pastors into mini-gods who must be followed and adored no matter what. It is time for Willow Creek to wake up and realize that maybe their pastor isn't so awesome. 

I still can't get over them paying for his BMW. I was telling my husband about this and he was all "If we just had less morals we could find some sheep to fleece." Again, it isn't like pastors need to take a vow of poverty, but at some point people at Willow Creek need to consider why they are spending church funds to buy a wealthy man a fancy car. 

[livinginthelight]

John Ortberg recently posted a blog explaining why he and others made the painful decision to not participate in the allegedly "independent" investigation sponsored by Willow Creek. The deck was stacked against the women and there were no real protections.

I have heard rumors of other women coming forward but no one else willing  - yet - to go on record. Meanwhile, Hybels continues to maintain his innocence and say that his formerly good friends just somehow started conspiring against him.

I do believe the Holy Spirit is working behind the scenes. It took years for these charges to come to light and I think the truth will eventually emerge.

http://www.johnortberg.com/observations-on-the-chicago-tribune-article-re-willow-creek-leadership/

 

[Grimalkin]

      Why are you so worried about the ‘willow haters’ anyway? You should worry about what God thinks. You should worry about the victims. Can you imagine this happening to you and when you get the courage to bring it up you are told you are a liar and everyone is angry at you and starts blaming you for ruining their church?

        

[molecule]

Bill Hybels has resigned. http://www.christianitytoday.com/news/2018/april/bill-hybels-resigns-willow-creek-misconduct-allegations.html

[feministxtian]

From the article:

“I’ve been accused of many things I simply did not do,” he said. “But let me acknowledge things I have done. I confess to anger at the accusations. … I sincerely wish my initial response had been listening and humble reflection. I apologize to you, my church, for a response that was defensive instead of inviting learning.”

In last month’s Tribune article, Hybels called the accusations “flat-out lies” and accused a group of former colleagues—including two prominent former staff pastors—of colluding against him to ruin his reputation.

“I communicated things that I did not intend in ways that made people uncomfortable,” he said at the Tuesday event. “I placed myself in situations that I would have been wiser to avoid. I commit to never putting myself in similar situations again.”

What a mealy-mouthed piece of shit. He's going to maintain his "innocence" until the end. 

[livinginthelight]

Yes, he continues to spew lies. But he's starting to crack around the edges because at least he is admitting: 1) he placed himself in situations and 2) he made other people uncomfortable. More will emerge. And people who have been standing behind him will start to see the truth. And people who are terrified of him will start to take back their power.

 

[livinginthelight]

Here is a statement from Betty Schmidt, a former long-time elder at Willow Creek, correcting some flat-out lies that had been posted in the FAQ section of the Willow Creek website. That section on the Willow Creek website is now removed, but Betty copied the salient points directly from the document.

https://veritasbetold.wixsite.com/website

And here is an April 8th blog from Vonda Dyer, giving more details of Bill's misbehavior and explaining why she came forward. I find her very believable and very courageous.

https://vondadyer.weebly.com/blog/vonda-dyers-statement-re-chicago-tribune-and-bill-hybels

[feministxtian]

Scumbag Hybels will run and run and deflect and deflect...he'll never admit to anything. I'd heard rumbles of problems with Willow Creek and Hybels for years. WCA has done a lot of good, but the problem has always been that it was built around Hybels cult of personality. Unfortunately, he's believed his own press for way too long. If I were on the elder board of WCCC I wouldn't let him darken the door of the church until he's confessed everything publicly and been willing to come under church discipline. He won't. Ever. 

[apple1]

Somewhat/ sort of/ off topic from the main point of this thread, but related.

The implications of all of this, I suspect, may be huge, in a way that isn't expected by most at the present time.

Bill Hybels was the initiator of mega-church, church-service-produced trend that exploded over the past couple of decades. (along with Rick Warren/ Saddleback). The Hybels and Warren wannabe preachers (I choose not to use the word pastor for a specific reason) popped up everywhere. They replaced, in many instances, the Jack-Hyles-wannabes and a few of Hyles' contemporaries (if you don't know what I mean by that, consider yourself blessed).

As a self-described Christian who tries and often fails to follow the teachings of Jesus...  well...

[SilverBeach]

Bill Hybels needs to come out of his deep denial and tell the truth. All the WC members clamoring for the truth should demand that he be the first one to come out with it. WC apologists who accuse his victims of wanting to hurt Hybels' reputation should be so ashamed of themselves. Why would his former friends and church members do that? No credible reason has been offered, or any reason at all for that matter. Loyalty has its place, but blind loyalty is not useful. Hybels weasel words deny the hurt he caused others. And the vengeful actions committed toward Vonda Dyer? By her own church? No words. 

[livinginthelight]

I'm starting to wonder about the degree to which others were knowingly complicit. Or somewhat complicit and blinding themselves to the full implication of his behaviors. For instance, the staff who told Dyer she was Bill's "type."  I put the blame squarely on Bill, but wow he must have practically hypnotized them, for a church staff member to see no problem with saying such a thing.

[Grimalkin]

2 hours ago, livinginthelight said:

I'm starting to wonder about the degree to which others were knowingly complicit. Or somewhat complicit and blinding themselves to the full implication of his behaviors. For instance, the staff who told Dyer she was Bill's "type."  I put the blame squarely on Bill, but wow he must have practically hypnotized them, for a church staff member to see no problem with saying such a thing.

      I am starting to think it goes pretty deep.

      I heard from a church member that when he announced his early retirement and said he was not going to be involved in any leadership positions people were shouting “no!” It’s still pretty new and people are hurt and in denial. 

 

        I guess it doesn’t matter since all sins are equal, wether you steel a pack of gum or sexually harass a woman, alianate her from the church she built her life around and harm her spiritual, and emotional  well being. It’s the same in God’s eyes and as long as you believe he is god’s son who’ve died for your sins you’Re going to heaven. No big deal I guess.

[Briefly]

Another apology that isn't.  "Sorry you were offended" is not the same as "I'm sorry I offended you/hurt you/etc."

[livinginthelight]

An article in which Nancy Ortberg gives more details about the allegations of a 14 year affair. Apparently Bill continued to "counsel" the woman even after the allegations came to light. And he even admitted she'd spent nights at his house when his wife was away.

https://www.christianpost.com/news/former-willow-creek-pastor-releases-more-details-on-bill-hybels-misconduct-inquiry-222853/