Bontragers and Bowers 2

[Pianokeeper]

Allison is the one who had a "Shop" link on her blog before any real content, if memory serves. 

She also likes to post about business and money matters. It's a bummer that her business sense gets filtered through the fundie-cizer, because I can imagine her, with a different upbringing, kicking ass and taking names in boardrooms and financial planning meetings.  But instead of the next Janet Yellen, we've got "I totally think this skirt is cute.  Have you supported your brother's manhood enough today?"

[picklepizzas]

57 minutes ago, Pianokeeper said:

Allison is the one who had a "Shop" link on her blog before any real content, if memory serves. 

She also likes to post about business and money matters. It's a bummer that her business sense gets filtered through the fundie-cizer, because I can imagine her, with a different upbringing, kicking ass and taking names in boardrooms and financial planning meetings.  But instead of the next Janet Yellen, we've got "I totally think this skirt is cute.  Have you supported your brother's manhood enough today?"

I always used to feel this way about Jessa, back in the days when she was the family organizer. Sad. 

[ophelia]

8 hours ago, pandora said:

Has anyone else noticed how many of Allison Bontrager's blog posts are just her suggesting a bunch of affiliate links for you to buy? Mother's day presents, makeup she likes, skirts she wears... I'm not opposed to people looking to potentially make money off their blogs, and sometimes lists of what people are currently buying is interesting, just surprised by how much of her content that is.

Maybe she is eager to save money so she has a little more cash on her hands when it comes to her wedding day.

[pandora]

18 hours ago, picklepizzas said:

Sorry if it's already been discussed but I went to look at her makeup blog post and came across her "what mr right is looking for in a wife:  the inside scoop from real men", who are, of course, her brothers. Puh-YUKE at the brother worship on her blog. She's almost as bad as the Morton girls. And puke again that the number one quality on her list was "honors her father." 

(And Puke one last time at the brother who mentioned he was glad his wife wasn't desperate even though "she didn't have a lot of options.")

Page 2 of this thread, and I think a bit over in the Chelsy and John thread in Maxhell cause he's one of the people quoted. I'm up for it coming back though if people still have thoughts, lot to digest there!

[JermajestyDuggar]

The Bons have a busy summer travel schedule. I’m guessing Josh and Cass won’t be going with them since she’s due in July. Hopefully those two stop traveling with them altogether. Traveling around on a bus to a bunch of churches who most likely don’t have great vaccine statuses is no place for a newborn. 

[HereticHick]

On 4/29/2018 at 10:49 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

The Bons have a busy summer travel schedule. I’m guessing Josh and Cass won’t be going with them since she’s due in July. Hopefully those two stop traveling with them altogether. Traveling around on a bus to a bunch of churches who most likely don’t have great vaccine statuses is no place for a newborn. 

It is interesting that they have performance dates booked for almost every day in July--when their first 2 grandkids will be born. I thought Allison might want to help her SILs after they birth their first lil'arrows.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, HereticHick said:

It is interesting that they have performance dates booked for almost every day in July--when their first 2 grandkids will be born. I thought Allison might want to help her SILs after they birth their first lil'arrows.

It will be interesting to see how the Bons react to grandkids. They seem like they let their kids have their own lives once they are married. Josh and Cass are so young I’m not surprised they still tag along. I doubt their lives will stop every time a grandchild is born. 

[pandora]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It will be interesting to see how the Bons react to grandkids. They seem like they let their kids have their own lives once they are married. Josh and Cass are so young I’m not surprised they still tag along. I doubt their lives will stop every time a grandchild is born. 

Ahh how interesting, I have a different read on it. The Bontragers really do value hard work but they don't look that leave and cleave-y to me. Josh and Cass aren't just tagging along, he's working as stage manager/ adding in some of Chelsy's old responsibilities for running the family band. All three of the married Bontrager boys are working in some way for/with their family: Mitchell, Carson and their dad run a custom manure hauling business together, Mitchell and his wife Bryn manage the hotel the family owns, Carson works on the family farm and runs his own mechanic shop on the Bontrager's property, Josh works on the farm as well (all this is from their family blog's "meet so-and-so" pages). Those are all real jobs (it's not like Ben cleaning toilets at the Duggar compound while courting Jessa) and I think it's pretty common for farming families to work together, but I wouldn't say their kids have lives that are all that separate from the main family. I am interested to see what happens when the first two Bontrager grandkids are born in July, and I think you're right, it's doubtful Josh and Cass would be on the road at all that month.

[HereticHick]

I can only imagine how much pressure Mitchell and Bryn are getting to announce an impending blessing.

[JermajestyDuggar]

29 minutes ago, pandora said:

Ahh how interesting, I have a different read on it. The Bontragers really do value hard work but they don't look that leave and cleave-y to me. Josh and Cass aren't just tagging along, he's working as stage manager/ adding in some of Chelsy's old responsibilities for running the family band. All three of the married Bontrager boys are working in some way for/with their family: Mitchell, Carson and their dad run a custom manure hauling business together, Mitchell and his wife Bryn manage the hotel the family own, Carson works on the family farm and runs his own mechanic shop on the Bontrager's property, Josh works on the farm as well (all this is from their family blog's "meet so-and-so" pages). Those are all real jobs (it's not like Ben cleaning toilets at the Duggar compound while courting Jessa) and I think it's pretty common for farming families to work together, but I wouldn't say their kids have lives that are all that separate from the main family. I am interested to see what happens when the first two Bontrager grandkids are born in July, and I think you're right, it's doubtful Josh and Cass would be on the road at all that month.

I guess I’m comparing to the Maxwells in my mind. They let Chelsy move to a neighboring state. The guys and their wives don’t seem to constantly be at the Bontrager home. It’s just pretty different compared to the family Chelsy married into. 

[pandora]

26 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I guess I’m comparing to the Maxwells in my mind. They let Chelsy move to a neighboring state. The guys and their wives don’t seem to constantly be at the Bontrager home. It’s just pretty different compared to the family Chelsy married into. 

I feel ya there, very little is like Maxhell! But that's the thing, I think they are home a lot- two of the boys work on their family farm, they're probably there daily. If their wives are helping out(which has been mentioned, along with learning to can and stuff from Mrs. Bontrager), they are too.  I don't think they talk and think about it the way the Maxwells do, but in practice they are pretty interwoven in daily life.

[Melissa1977]

How can a farmer  family spend the whole July singing around? Isn't summer the busiest season for farmers? What produce/cereal do they grow?

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, Melissa1977 said:

How can a farmer  family spend the whole July singing around? Isn't summer the busiest season for farmers? What produce/cereal do they grow?

Mitchell, Josh, and Carson will most likely be around. They have cows and I don’t remember what they grow. 

[Palimpsest]

32 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I guess I’m comparing to the Maxwells in my mind. They let Chelsy move to a neighboring state. The guys and their wives don’t seem to constantly be at the Bontrager home. It’s just pretty different compared to the family Chelsy married into. 

Nope.  The male Bont spouses are still embedded in the Bont family businesses and their wives are with them.  Par for the course.

Chels is the first Bont girl-child to marry and she is expected to follow her husband, per culty rules.  She is now a Maxwell.  Thus, she moved states.  Just as NR Anna and Elissa were expected to do - and did.  Melanie was lucky because she was local to the Maxwells.

The Maxwell boy-children are embedded in the family business.

If any one of the Maxwell girls ever succeed in finding a suitor acceptable to Steve, he would be forced to follow those rules.  That is probably why they are still single.  

Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

Mitchell, Josh, and Carson will most likely be around. They have cows and I don’t remember what they grow. 

They also have plenty of non-family farm managers, hotel managers, and other employees who do the grunt work while they are on the road.  They just don't mention them very often because they like to pretend they do all the work.

The Bontragers are far more complicated than they seem at first sight.

[JermajestyDuggar]

39 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Nope.  The male Bont spouses are still embedded in the Bont family businesses and their wives are with them.  Par for the course.

Chels is the first Bont girl-child to marry and she is expected to follow her husband, per culty rules.  She is now a Maxwell.  Thus, she moved states.  Just as NR Anna and Elissa were expected to do - and did.  Melanie was lucky because she was local to the Maxwells.

The Maxwell boy-children are embedded in the family business.

If any one of the Maxwell girls ever succeed in finding a suitor acceptable to Steve, he would be forced to follow those rules.  That is probably why they are still single.  

They also have plenty of non-family farm managers, hotel managers, and other employees who do the grunt work while they are on the road.  They just don't mention them very often because they like to pretend they do all the work.

The Bontragers are far more complicated than they seem at first sight.

So are you saying that you think they aren’t different from the Maxwells? 

[Palimpsest]

27 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

So are you saying that you think they aren’t different from the Maxwells? 

Haven't we covered this before?   The similarities vastly outweigh the differences.  John and Chels have a marriage made in heaven - because they believe in the same things.

Steve probably has the biggest stick up his butt of all the Fundies we currently follow.   He is more open about his rigidity and control than most because it is his ministry.   And he is the ultimate fun-killer.

However, the Bontragers are just as Fundie and follow the same rules when it comes to marriage and women's submission.  They just seem more attractive because they have better PR.  And allow occasional f*n.

I just hope Chels can inject some f*n into the Maxwells instead of them draining it all out of her.

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Haven't we covered this before?   The similarities vastly outweigh the differences.  John and Chels have a marriage made in heaven - because they believe in the same things.

Steve probably has the biggest stick up his butt of all the Fundies we currently follow.   He is more open about his rigidity and control than most because it is his ministry.   And he is the ultimate fun-killer.

However, the Bontragers are just as Fundie and follow the same rules when it comes to marriage and women's submission.  They just seem more attractive because they have better PR.  And allow occasional f*n.

I just hope Chels can inject some f*n into the Maxwells instead of them draining it all out of her.

We probably have. I admit I do hate when all fundies are painted with the same broad brush just because they all follow the same religious beliefs. I think it’s important to acknowledge the differences as well. Otherwise, what’s the point? A major difference is Steve’s unwavering belief in purchasing a home debt free before marriage. I believe that became an issue in the courtship/engagement timeline and was a part of why Chelsy didn’t get her outdoor wedding unlike her brothers (who did not need to purchase a home before marriage). Have you seen the Bontrager schedule? They left at the end of January and were gone until mid April. They will leave again around mid June and be gone again for two straight months. Then they will most likely have a fall schedule as well. They have not spent much time at home so they aren’t spending a lot of time with their married offspring. They can’t with hundreds of miles between them. That’s why I said I thought it would be interesting to see how they are with their grandchildren. Because if they keep up this schedule, they won’t be seeing a lot of their grandchildren for a couple months at a time. Unlike the Maxwells who all live within a mile of one another and see each other often. 

[Palimpsest]

@JermajestyDuggar, I hardly think that it is painting all Fundies with the same brush by pointing out the similarities and commonalities in their beliefs.  Of course there will be differences in the way individual families function.  Some may appear nicer on their carefully curated blogs than others - but it is their extreme Fundamentalist beliefs that we are here to discus.

Steve has had a lot of push-back from his followers about the need for a man to buy a house debt-free before marriage issue.  He can insist upon that for his own children, and for potential husbands for his adult daughters, but he must know it isn't feasible for everyone.  And he might lecture another Patriarch on his pet issue, but he can't force it on others.

As for schedules and time spent with their grandchildren - the Maxwells are in a different season of life.  They used to go on the road too, and the "extended" family dropped off the conference circuit as they married and had children.  Certainly the Maxwells all live close to one another and Anna and Mary do a lot of baby-sitting for Melanie and NR Anna.  However, in reality they probably see no more of each other than close knit families living in close proximity.  We are just informed by Sarah nearly every time the get together and Joe and Elissa seem to be keeping more separate already.

I was amused by the speculation that went on before John and Chelsy's wedding.  People were sure it wouldn't be a typical Max wedding.  Lots of statements that the Bonts were not nearly as Fundie, believe in feeding their guests, Chels will be different and is so creative, and so on.  Then after the wedding - OMG!  Pa Bont preached about Steve's scrotum, they only fed the guests taco soup, and the venue was too small!  Complaints mostly by the same posters who thought it would be very different.

Both families are extreme fundamentalists and big on Christian Patriarchy.  I'm interested in how that plays out in the next generation and wondering whether anyone will modify the beliefs.  I'd be very interested if John and Chelsy moved back to Kalona, or far away from Leavenworth, but I am not optimistic so far.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

And he might lecture another Patriarch on his pet issue, but he can't force it on others.

It could be part of the reason Sarah isn’t married at age 36. If Steve forces it on his own children, don’t you think he expects it for future sons in law? 

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

I was amused by the speculation that went on before John and Chelsy's wedding. 

I don’t know if it was a typical fundie wedding with the drone delivery, the lost vows, and Chelsy being basically glued to John the entire ceremony. It was a hot mess and I wouldn’t call it a typical Maxwell wedding. The only Maxwellian part was the vasectomy reversal speech. I thought Chelsy would do a pretty job of decorating but she didn’t get her outdoor wedding. So going shoeless was weird and her dark spray tan was out of place. The wedding would have still been ridiculous in the summer but at least some of it would have made a little sense. 

[Coconut Flan]

With the Maxwells, I'll be happy if one of the married couples starts attending church somewhere besides the retirement village with Steve in charge.

[Jana814]

19 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

With the Maxwells, I'll be happy if one of the married couples starts attending church somewhere besides the retirement village with Steve in charge.

Me too. I don’t think that will happen though. 

[Palimpsest]

37 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It could be part of the reason Sarah isn’t married at age 36. If Steve forces it on his own children, don’t you think he expects it for future sons in law? 

Yes.  As I've said many times before.  Steve and his unrealistic expectations have probably put off many potential suitors for the Maxwell adult daughters.  And he may have rejected some young hopefuls.  Similar to the Botkinettes perpetual SAHDhood in many ways.  Poor Sarah. 

37 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I don’t know if it was a typical fundie wedding with the drone delivery, the lost vows, and Chelsy being basically glued to John the entire ceremony. It was a hot mess and I wouldn’t call it a typical Maxwell wedding. The only Maxwellian part was the vasectomy reversal speech. 

I'm pretty sure I've seen the drone delivery at another Fundie nuptials (I forget).  Or perhaps it is on Pinterest.  It's just another variation on the best man "forgetting" the ring, lowering it from the ceiling, or whatever.  They copy each other a lot and drone deliveries will be common now.  Fundies think it is cute to add a little "humor" to the wedding at that point.

Also the bare feet - already done but particularly pretentious silly odd in winter.

I give Chels credit for the first look (as opposed to praying together on opposite sides of a door) before the ceremony, being more physically demonstrative than many Fundie brides, and for dragging John with her to find her forgotten vows.

Bonus points if she deliberately forgot her vows in order to have a quick private snog in the vestry.  But that would be really stupid because they could kiss as much as they wanted as soon the wedding was over.  Why interrupt the ceremony for that?

[JermajestyDuggar]

Allison posted about visiting Chelsy recently. Chelsy looks so pretty without that spray tan! Her natural skin color looks so much better. I think I’m just not a fan of spray tan in general since so many types can produce an orange hue. And John is definitely not fasting anymore. He looks less like Steve when he’s thicker. So I approve. He’s looking well.

[ophelia]

On 30.4.2018 at 10:14 PM, HereticHick said:

I can only imagine how much pressure Mitchell and Bryn are getting to announce an impending blessing.

And the pressure will get even more intense once John and Chels have announced a pregnancy.

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, ophelia said:

And the pressure will get even more intense once John and Chels have announced a pregnancy.

I was thinking that Bryn and Chelsy might be pregnancy buddies like the Bowers sisters are.  Maybe they will both be due in the fall. If Bryn isn’t pregnant yet I hope she can see it as a good thing. That she gets to spend time alone as a newlywed and enjoy her husband without morning sickness to interrupt.