Stories Part 2

[47of74]

Yeah this was bound to happen sooner or later

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An electronic billboard near Auburn Hills, Michigan, aroused a lot of attention Saturday night after it started playing a porn video.

Dr. Justin Kammo, one of the drivers who saw the sex-laden videos, told told WXYZ TV he nearly got into an accident because he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“I came across a billboard and it was something unusual. I saw two girls. Lesbian porn,” Kammo said.

 

[47of74]

Louisiana Woman finally admitted the drugs stuck up there were hers;

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The Louisiana woman who denied ownership of a bag of methamphetamine that was found in her vagina during a jail strip search has copped to a narcotics charge in a plea deal with prosecutors, according to court records.

Ashley Beth Rolland, 24, pleaded guilty Thursday to attempted possession of a controlled dangerous substance, a felony count for which she was sentenced to four months in custody.

A sentencing order indicates that a District Court judge also recommended Rolland for “substance use disorder treatment screening.”

Seen at right, Rolland was named in a September 13 bill of information charging her with felony theft and possession of a controlled dangerous substance. As part of a plea deal, prosecutors dropped the theft count against Rolland and reduced the narcotics charge to a lesser felony.

 

[47of74]

I thought for sure this would've been Florida Man, but instead this time it was Tennessee Man;

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A Tennessee man forcibly removed $10 from his own grandmother’s undergarments after she refused his demand for cash, according to a robbery complaint.

Jared Otte, a 19-year-old Memphis resident, entered the 63-year-old victim’s home in late-August and “demanded she give him cash,” according to a complaint affidavit.

Otte’s grandmother told police that when she declined to hand over any money, Otte pushed her onto on the bed and “held her down, raised her dress, and removed $10 from her undergarments.”

Hey Florida Man, yer slipping!

And oh yeah, Meth it's a hell of a drug....

[47of74]

Another day at an Alabama Waffle House

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The Alabama woman who was recorded grinding her rear end into the crotch of a cop attempting to handcuff her early Sunday is facing a pair of criminal charges, according to court records.

April Teale, 24, was arrested by police on misdemeanor disorderly conduct and harassment charges. The 2018 University of Alabama graduate was collared outside a Waffle House in downtown Tuscaloosa, just blocks from Bryant-Denny Stadium, where, earlier that evening, the Crimson Tide football team defeated the University of Tennessee.

As seen in a brief video recording that has gone viral, Teale was pinned up against a Waffle House window as a cop sought to handcuff her. Teale took the opportunity to press her buttocks into the officer while breathily declaring, “Oh, yeah, you like that? You like that, yeah?”

Tuscaloosa police declined to release a copy of Teale’s arrest report, so it is unclear if either of the misdemeanor counts filed against her is related to the vertical lap dance she performed on the patrolman.

 

[mango_fandango]

6 hours ago, 47of74 said:

Another day at an Alabama Waffle House

 

Damn I heard about that story. That’s just all sorts of wrong.

[47of74]

Meth heads with cannons!

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A Dassel couple is facing weapons and drug charges after authorities seized more than 50 grams of methamphetamine and more than a dozen weapons from their home, including a functioning cannon.

Bret Bruce Wakefield, 59, and Ramona Jean Wakefield, 56, are facing one count each of first-degree sale of a controlled substance, first-degree possession of a controlled substance and firearm possession.

According to the complaint, CEE-VI Drug and Gang Task Force agents served a search warrant Monday at the couple’s home on the 17000 block of Highway 15 South. Upon arrival, they immediately located the couple and had them detained while completing their sweep of the residence.

With a broader search of the property, agents recovered 12 firearms and a functioning cannon, along with multiple “cannon accessories.”

 

[47of74]

Local man decided to steal a trailer then tried to literally cover up his crime. 

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Malik J. Patterson, 20, of 17262 John Deere Road, No. 11, was arrested Wednesday morning on warrants charging second-degree theft and obstructing prosecution.

Business owner Parrish C. Marugg said he left the shop Sept. 3 and left his trailer, valued at $2,000, in the parking lot, according to court documents. When he returned the following morning, it was gone.

Officers used surveillance footage to identify a suspect vehicle. Police said the vehicle was observed pulling a similar trailer, painted black, and an ATV on Sept. 9.

Marugg’s family members were able to identify the trailer, despite the paint job, “because it has been in (the) family for a long time,” court documents state. Patterson allegedly admitted the theft and said he painted the trailer and removed the license plate to prevent anyone from recognizing it.

[clueliss]

@47of74 bonus points for that one due to the address being on John Deere road.

A hunter in Arkansas dies after deer attacks me (puncture woods were involved)

https://www.komu.com/news/hunter-dies-in-arkansas-after-deer-he-d-shot-attacks-him

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Hunter dies in Arkansas after deer he'd shot attacks him

Friday, October 25, 2019 11:27:00 AM CDT in News

Source: The Associated Press

By: The Associated Press

 

Share:

YELLVILLE, Ark. (AP) — Officials in Arkansas say a hunter died after he was attacked by a deer that he'd shot and believed to be dead.

Arkansas Game and Fish Commission spokesman Keith Stephens says 66-year-old Thomas Alexander shot a buck with a muzzleloader while hunting Tuesday near Yellville, an area in the Ozark Mountains about 105 miles (170 kilometers) north of Little Rock.

Stephens tells Springfield, Missouri, television station KY3 the buck attacked Alexander when the hunter approached the animal to see if it was dead. He says Alexander, who suffered multiple puncture wounds, later died at a hospital.

Stephens says it's not clear how long Alexander waited before checking on the deer, but that the agency recommends waiting at least 30 minutes before approaching.

 

[47of74]

1 hour ago, clueliss said:

@47of74 bonus points for that one due to the address being on John Deere road.

A hunter in Arkansas dies after deer attacks me (puncture woods were involved)

https://www.komu.com/news/hunter-dies-in-arkansas-after-deer-he-d-shot-attacks-him

 

Deere has a plant just north of Dubuque and the road goes back from US 52 to the plant.

Someone in Vegas took exception to being ejected from a security and made her displeasure known in a vehicular manner.

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North Las Vegas Police spokesman Eric Leavitt says the 50-year-old woman was ejected from the Cannery casino Friday morning and drove her Winnebago motorhome into the building.

Leavitt says the woman hit a 66-year-old custodial worker who was outside the building. The Las Vegas Review-Journal reports the worker was critically injured but is expected to survive.

Leavitt told KVVU-TV that the woman kept hitting the gas and her vehicle was stuck in the building’s entrance. Employees had to remove the woman to get her to stop.

 

[GreyhoundFan]

This is sad, not funny, but Rufus help me, all I could imagine is some of the stupid over the top sex reveals by the Duggars:

"Woman killed by shrapnel from ‘gender reveal’ party explosion in Iowa"

Spoiler

It was supposed to be a day of celebration.

On Saturday afternoon, six members of an Iowa family gathered outside a rural Knoxville, Iowa, home for what society has dubbed a “gender reveal” party. Among the six was a pregnant woman. Her family was there to learn the sex of her baby.

But the reveal — which involved a homemade explosive device — went horribly wrong, shooting metal shrapnel toward the family standing 45 feet away.

Pamela Kreimeyer, 56, was struck in the head. She died on impact, officials said.

“The family got together for what they thought was going to be a happy event with no intent for anyone to get hurt,” Marion County Sheriff Jason Sandholdt said in a statement. “What ended up happening was that Pamela Kreimeyer, a wife, mother and grandmother was killed by a piece of metal where a metal stand, gunpowder and colored powder were involved.”

“Gender reveal” parties have become an obsession for people trying find creative ways to tell the world the sex of the baby they are expecting. Often, these grand reveals are made for social media moments that involve displays of pink or blue.

That’s what the Kreimeyer family had planned for.

They spent Friday and Saturday preparing for the moment, according to law enforcement. The family had welded a homemade stand, which was filled with gunpowder, to a metal base. They drilled a hole for a fuse and placed a piece of wood on top of the metal stand. Colored powder was then layered on top of the wood.

Then, they put tape on top of the entire assembly, which “inadvertently created a pipe bomb,” authorities said.

Around 4 p.m. Saturday, they lit the fuse.

Rather than shooting the colored powder into the air, the contraption exploded outward. A piece of metal struck Pamela Kreimeyer in the head before landing in a nearby field, according to the sheriff’s department.

The explosion remains under investigation.

“This is a reminder that anytime someone mixes these things there is a high potential for serious injury or death. Please do not take these risks,” Sandholdt said in a statement. “My condolences go out to the family.”

 

[47of74]

Guy who was visiting Yogi Bear is going to the big house for 15 years....

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The drug courier who told a Montana state trooper that he had just come from Yellowstone National Park “where he was visiting Yogi Bear” has been sentenced to more than 15 years in federal prison for methamphetamine trafficking.

Sanchez was arrested in December 2017 after the rental car he was driving was pulled over by a Montana Highway Patrol trooper who spotted the car tailgating another vehicle on Interstate 90.

During police questioning, Sanchez gave conflicting accounts of his recent travels and could not remember the name of the North Dakota town to which he was purportedly headed. Sanchez also could not recall the name of the Idaho town from which he supposedly departed, according to a court affidavit.

When a Drug Enforcement Administration task force agent quizzed Sanchez, he “stated that he was coming from Yellowstone National Park where he was visiting Yogi Bear.” Sanchez was pulled over about 50 miles north of Yellowstone’s northern edge.

I always thought Yogi Bear was a Wisconsin resident and not a Wyoming resident....

[47of74]

Pennywise went down to Georgia and got his ass busted

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Police in Conyers, an Atlanta suburb, received a call Thursday evening about an individual dressed in a clown costume and holding a red balloon (the calling card of Pennywise, who terrifies children in Stephen King’s “It” and the movie adaptations of the horror novel).

Around 7:15 PM, an officer contacted Jason Maugham, 39, who was standing on a Conyers street corner. As seen in the above screen grab, the officer's encounter with Maugham was recorded by a police body cam.

When the officer ran Maugham’s name through a Georgia Crime Information Center database, an outstanding warrant came back indicating that the laborer was wanted in a neighboring county for failure to pay child support.

Maugham was arrested and booked into the Rockdale County jail. He was later transferred to the custody of police in Butts County, where the warrant was issued.

 

[47of74]

Two chemistry professors were arrested....yeah, you guessed it.  For cooking meth.

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Two Arkansas chemistry professors have been arrested and accused of making methamphetamine, according to the Clark County Sheriff's Department. And no, neither of them is named Walter White.

Terry David Bateman, 45, and Bradley Allen Rowland, 40, both associate professors of chemistry at Henderson State University in Arkadelphia, Arkansas, were taken into custody Friday afternoon, the sheriff's department said in a news release. They face charges of manufacturing methamphetamine and using drug paraphernalia.

A university science center was closed October 8 after someone reported a chemical odor, Tina Hall, the university's associate vice president of marketing and communications, said in a statement.

The building was reopened October 29 after the on-call environmental service completed remediation work that included air filtering systems and temporarily removed some windows to help ventilation, Hall said.

 

[47of74]

Meanwhile Satan set up one Franklin Redfearn down in Louisiana

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Responding to a 911 call about a suspicious person, police found Redfearn standing on a porch of a residence in West Monroe.

As a sheriff’s deputy approached him, Redfearn allegedly threw a white pill bottle containing methamphetamine into the yard.

After being read his rights, Redfearn “stated the devil framed him.” Despite that compelling explanation, Redfearn was arrested on a felony narcotics possession count and booked into the local jail, where he is being held on $3000 bond.

Redfearn appears to be the sole individual charged in the meth case, according to court records that do not name any codefendants or personifications of evil.

 

[47of74]

I hope this is not really a thing now

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They’re soaking up some rays where the sun don’t shine.

The hottest trend gripping wellness die-hards is tanning their cans, or “perineum sunning,” as influencers are calling it.

“In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on,” says an influencer, who goes by Ra of Earth. In a viral video that has racked up more than 35,000 views, he gestures toward the sun as three naked men lie down, point their backsides to the sky and make sounds of pleasure.

Ra of Earth has also posted a step-by-step “Sun Worship exercise” pulled from “The Tao of Sexology: The Book of Infinite Wisdom” by Dr. Stephen T. Chang that says the practice can help keep the area “healthy and free of germs.”

Sunning one's asshole is not my idea of a good time.

[Xan]

4 minutes ago, 47of74 said:

I hope this is not really a thing now

Sunning one's asshole is not my idea of a good time.

Also, being anywhere near other people sunning their assholes doesn't sound like a good time either.

[47of74]

Going to bail your brother out of jail for driving a stolen car in another stolen vehicle is a really bad idea

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A Jackson County Sheriff’s deputy arrested Eric McCracken after stopping the 2007 Chevy Trailblazer he was driving for a traffic infraction about 1:30 a.m. Friday on 150th Road west of Mayetta, and learning McCracken was driving on a suspended license.

The Trailblazer was later reported stolen by its owner, who hadn’t been aware it was missing when McCracken was arrested.

Shortly before 5 a.m. Friday, the Shawnee County Sheriff’s Office notified the Jackson County Sheriff’s Office it was using GPS to track a stolen 2015 Chevy Silverado, which was northbound on US-75 highway.

An off-duty Jackson County deputy driving his personal vehicle followed the Silverado into Holton, where a Holton police officer tried to stop it. The Silverado’s driver, Keith McCracken, fled, driving it through yards before stopping and fleeing on foot. He was arrested at the Casey’s General Store at 406 Arizona Ave.

Keith was believed to be on his way to the lockup to bail out Eric when the last tried to pull him over.  They’re both in the same jail now. No word if they’re sharing a cell. 
 

[47of74]

Important tip for lawyers - don’t tell OC to eat a bowl of male reproductive organs.

Generally, when opposing counsel tells you to “eat a bowl of dicks,” you know that your settlement talks are going nowhere fast. When opposing counsel later informs you that he’s going to “let the long dick of the law f*ck [your client],” then you know that something may be amiss. When opposing counsel then begins to refer to you as a “cumstain” and a “limp dick mother f*cker,” you may realize that your settlement talks have gone completely off the rails. When opposing counsel threatens to “water board each one of [your client’s] trolls who show up for depo without any mercy whatsoever,” and claims that he “know where you live,” you know it’s time to file ex parte with a judge to get some much-needed relief.

This is what happened in a recent dispute between Christopher Hook, a plaintiffs’ lawyer in California, and a legal team at Sheppard Mullin led by partner Peter Klee. The matter itself is a simple insurance dispute over about $200,000, but Hook’s conduct has turned it into a complete circus sideshow. Sheppard Mullin represents Allstate and Hook represents a couple trying to fight the company for an ever-increasing amount of funds, into the millions.

That’s a special brand of legalese that you don’t get to see every day — and it’s not even the best part. In response to Sheppard Mullin’s ex parte application, Hook filed a response claiming that this was a “confidential negotiating tactic,” and he realizes that his language may have “crossed the line.”

The judge had ordered a hearing over this. I think someone is in a spot of trouble now.

[mango_fandango]

Colorado Man robs a bank and “distributes” the money as a Christmas gift:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-50908018

[47of74]

The Power of Christ Compels You!

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A Louisiana church used a crop-duster plane to spread dozens of gallons of holy water on the city of Lafayette and surrounding farms this week.

The Diocese of Lafayette posted a picture on Facebook showing the plane with several members of the St. Anne Church congregation surrounding it in the days before Christmas, preparing to launch the plane loaded with holy water.

“They loaded 100 gallons of holy water into the plane and the pilot sprayed the water onto the town and the nearby farms. Parishioners also brought water from home to the airstrip to be blessed,” the post read.

The Rev. Matthew Barzare of St. Anne Church told NPR that the plane was an efficient way to cover more ground for a blessing.

 

[47of74]

What the hell is going on down in Louisiana these days?

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A Louisiana woman is behind bars on a felony drug possession charge after police discovered her methamphetamine stash in a small plastic container that was helpfully labeled “Dope.”

Cops responded Saturday night to a West Monroe residence after an unidentified complainant reported finding “suspected narcotics” inside the apartment, which is home to Candyce Neel, 41.

According to a probable cause affidavit, through “further investigation,” an officer found the “Dope” container with “suspected methamphetamine inside.”

 

[47of74]

Should I get my niece a magnifying glass when she's old enough?  Hmm maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea if she turns out like these kids....

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A Christmas present landed a pair of Texas boys in hot water after it helped set their front lawn on fire.

The Parsons got their 12-year-old son a magnifying glass for Christmas, assuming it would be used for reading.

Instead, the boy and his brother used it to burn some newspapers. Moments later, they came running in to report the lawn was on fire.

Family was able to put the fire out and no one was hurt. 

[47of74]

Welcome to 2020.  Let the WTF begin
 

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 A man stole a pickup truck with a sleeping passenger and a goat inside it and drove it all the way from Missouri to Oklahoma before releasing the terrified victim and animal and eventually being arrested, authorities say.

According to an arrest report, two men in the truck parked outside of an adult video store in Carthage, Missouri, early Wednesday. The driver went inside the store and the passenger fell asleep. When the passenger awoke, a masked man was driving the truck and pointing a gun at his head, Tulsa TV station KOTV reported.

The carjacking suspect, 40-year-old Brandon Kirby, drove from Missouri through Kansas. During the 130-mile ordeal, Kirby took methamphetamine, pistol-whipped the victim and continually threatened him, according to the arrest report. He was eventually arrested in Sand Springs, Oklahoma, after he let the passenger and the goat out of the truck and the victim called 911, the Oklahoma Highway Patrol said.

 

[47of74]

Kansas man wants to have a sword fight

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A Kansas man has asked an Iowa judge to let him engage in a sword fight with his ex-wife and her attorney so that he can “rend their souls” from their bodies. 

David Ostrom, of Paola, Kansas, said in a Jan. 3 court filing that his former wife and her attorney had destroyed him legally. The Ostroms have been embroiled in various disputes. 

He claimed the US never barred trial by combat. 

I’m guessing he’s gonna see the inside of a mental institution in the near future.

[47of74]

And the Kansas Man Sword story has me kicking myself a bit more I didn’t have this bad boy shipped home from Toledo 

Cause if in my future law practice I would totally wanna respond with a photo of my fine Toledo blade and ask if he still wanted to fight. 

Edited January 16, 2020 by 47of74
Not Nan. Man. Fornicating Apple autocorrect