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laPapessaGiovanna

Stories Part 2

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Marmion
On 4/14/2019 at 7:26 PM, Briefly said:

I'm seeing a trend here.  The People of WalMart are trying to outdo Florida Man/Woman!

I know where the Wallyworld is that she stole the truck from, I'm pretty sure that the zombies are not at that store.  They may be at another one in Tulsa, but not that one.

Speaking of which there are also these stories involving "Wally World" , and also incidentally involving religious fundamentalists , and /or cult members .  

 

( language content warning )

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47of74

Another Iowa Man asks Florida Man to hold his adult beverage while he rubs one out;

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What do you say when a fellow library patron turns a corner and spots you, penis in hand, furiously wanking away?

“Oh, hi,” is what Leroy McFarland, accused public masturbator, came up with Friday afternoon when his illicit pleasure session at a Sioux City Public Library branch was interrupted.

McFarland, 44, “looked surprised” and sought to cover himself with his sweatshirt when the female witness spotted him, according to a criminal complaint charging him with indecent exposure.

A cop working at the library subsequently approached McFarland, who apparently kept touching himself after initially being spotted.

 

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47of74

Nebraska Man must've been jealous of all the other guys getting attention

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A former inmate of a Nebraska prison was arrested yesterday for allegedly using a drone to deliver marijuana and tobacco to the lockup in Lincoln, a smuggling bid that failed when the $1300 quadcopter crashed.

Investigators charged Robert Kinser, 37, with possession of marijuana with intent to deliver, a felony, in connection with a plot to introduce contraband into the Lincoln Correctional Center, which houses about 500 male prisoners.

According to an arrest warrant, an inmate on a work detail last year found a downed DJI Phantom 4 drone on prison property. Two plastic pouches holding pot, tobacco, and rolling papers were attached to the crashed unmanned aerial vehicle.

The warrant does not address for whom the contraband was intended.

 

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Flossie
8 hours ago, 47of74 said:

Nebraska Man must've been jealous of all the other guys getting attention

What?  The pouches weren't labeled:  "If found, please deliver to inmate 123456, Cell Block C, Cell #221, top bunk.  Big dude, blue tear drop tat under left eye, answers to the name of 'Chaos'.  Don't give it to his cellmate, a squirrely dude who talks a lot.  He's a moron."

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47of74
Posted (edited)

Murica

Quote

The women recorded brawling last week in the middle of a North Carolina intersection exchanged blows over allegations of jewelry theft at a mobile home park, police say.

The June 4 fracas in Alamance County has resulted in the arrest of one woman on two misdemeanor assault counts. Additional charges are expected to be filed against other combatants seen in a viral video posted by Twitter user Timia Goins.

According to investigators, the women initially argued outside neighboring residences at the Pine Lake Mobile Home Park after one faction claimed that a ring had been stolen from their home (and they suspected the thief lived next door).

When one group of women got in their car and drove away, the neighbors followed in their ride. The cars--two women in one vehicle, three in the other--subsequently stopped at the intersection of Trollingwood Hawfields Road and Senator Ralph Scott Parkway. Four women then emerged from the vehicles around 3:35 PM and immediately began exchanging blows.

Only thing surprising me was that this did not occur in Florida.

Here's the tweet with original video, BTW

 

Edited by 47of74
added tweet

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Tired
clueliss

Nebraska Man - is that a machete in your pants or are you just happy to see us?

https://www.kmbc.com/article/man-puts-machete-down-his-pants-at-lincoln-nebraska-mcdonalds/28085366?fbclid=IwAR2bf6kRERpuv43me7UAgozNe9V-VcvyOY7o9XIKvmggpOj-k2IfOq5juNM

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Man puts 18-inch machete down his pants at Nebraska McDonald's

KMBC 9 News Staff

Play Video

LINCOLN, Neb. —

Lincoln police arrested a felon with an 18-inch machete stuffed down his pants at a McDonald’s restaurant.

Kelly Savage, 22, told officers he had the machete because he had just been hired as a lumberjack.

Police said Savage also had a BB gun in his jacket.

Officers went the McDonald’s restaurant at 547 North 48th Street around 10:40 p.m. Monday on a report of a man with a machete.

An employee told Salvage he couldn’t have the machete in the restaurant so Savage put it down his pants.

Savage is a convicted felon.

Officers arrested Savage for carrying a concealed weapon and possession of a deadly weapon by a prohibited person.

 

 

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47of74
Nebraska Man - is that a machete in your pants or are you just happy to see us?
https://www.kmbc.com/article/man-puts-machete-down-his-pants-at-lincoln-nebraska-mcdonalds/28085366?fbclid=IwAR2bf6kRERpuv43me7UAgozNe9V-VcvyOY7o9XIKvmggpOj-k2IfOq5juNM
Man puts 18-inch machete down his pants at Nebraska McDonald's
KMBC 9 News Staff
Play Video
LINCOLN, Neb. —
Lincoln police arrested a felon with an 18-inch machete stuffed down his pants at a McDonald’s restaurant.
Kelly Savage, 22, told officers he had the machete because he had just been hired as a lumberjack.
Police said Savage also had a BB gun in his jacket.
Officers went the McDonald’s restaurant at 547 North 48th Street around 10:40 p.m. Monday on a report of a man with a machete.
An employee told Salvage he couldn’t have the machete in the restaurant so Savage put it down his pants.
Savage is a convicted felon.
Officers arrested Savage for carrying a concealed weapon and possession of a deadly weapon by a prohibited person.
 
 


Boy what is it with Mickey D’s lately? It’s attracting all sorts of interesting characters. Such as Florida Man and now Nebraska Man.

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Flossie

Only a drugged up mind could do this.  What was he hoping for, that he would unleash the squirrel if he was raided or robbed?

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47of74
6 hours ago, Flossie said:

Only a drugged up mind could do this.  What was he hoping for, that he would unleash the squirrel if he was raided or robbed?

SQUIRREL!!!!!!

 

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47of74

Texas woman learned the hard way, so to speak, that it's really not a good idea to put up pornhub videos of oneself at the high school one is substitute teaching at.

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The 24-year-old substitute teacher fired for recording solo X-rated videos in a Texas high school describes herself as “a bit of an exhibitionist and I want people to watch me please myself or be pleased,” according to her profile on a porn web site.

Elizabeth Ann Schneider was dismissed this week from her post at El Campo High School after administrators received a tip about a Pornhub page featuring a dozen explicit videos of Schneider engaged in sexual activity.

Until yesterday, Schneider’s videos were publicly available on her Pornhub page, which carried the account name “O0oAnnieo0O.” The videos have since been disabled, apparently as part of Schneider’s broader attempt to scrub her online footprint. While usually framed to keep Schneider’s identity shrouded, one of the school clips includes a brief shot of the substitute's face (as seen below). 

While police say they have not determined that Schneider broke any law--since she recorded herself privately--the local prosecutor is still reviewing the matter. School officials have issued Schneider a criminal trespass notice warning that she faces arrest if seen on the high school campus.

facepalm.gif.2d1ee70809737855d8ede12a1542f7d3.gif

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47of74

If I was a whiskey drinker I'd probably be saying Noooooo!

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A massive fire destroyed a Jim Beam warehouse in northern Kentucky on Wednesday, but officials said no one was injured. Firefighters were working to extinguish the blaze at a warehouse in Versailles, which is filled with about 45,000 barrels of bourbon.

Two barrel warehouses caught fire late Tuesday night. One warehouse initially caught fire with flames spreading to the second structure, Drew Chandler of Woodford County Emergency Management told CBS Lexington, Kentucky, affiliate WLKY-TV.

Crews were able to put one out, but the other kept burning for hours. Chandler said it may have been caused by lightning.

 

And the Illinois woman who said selling meth is hard work is heading to the big house;

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The Illinois drug dealer who complained to police that “selling methamphetamine is hard work” has been sentenced to three years in state prison following her guilty plea to a pair of felony narcotics charges.

Lindsey Lowery, 33, was sentenced last month for peddling meth from a home in Swansea, a village about 10 miles east of St. Louis. At the time of Lowery’s arrest last August, she was living in the residence in return for meth provided to the homeowner (who pleaded guilty earlier this year to a felony possession rap and was sentenced to probation).

In a search warrant affidavit, police noted that when they arrested Lowery, she commented on the difficulty of peddling dope. “Lowery stated selling methamphetamine is hard work,” an investigator wrote.

Was she getting high on her own supply?

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47of74

Wisconsin Man is in the news again

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The La Crosse Tribune reports that police received a complaint during the early morning hours of June 29 of a man running around naked and yelling incoherently.

Police found the 29-year-old in a parking lot on the city’s north side. Asked why he was running around naked, the man said “oh, that’s what all those drugs are for” and “what’s wrong with being a heroin addict?”

Police asked him what he’d taken and he responded “tons and tons and tons and tons and tons of acid.”

 

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47of74

The fart heard round the world

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The viral, wacky story originates in Clay County, Missouri northeast of Kansas City where, according to the Clay County Sheriff’s Office, a suspect’s loud fart gave away his position and allowed police to arrest him.

The unnamed, gassy suspect was wanted on a felony warrant for possession of a controlled substance.

“If you’ve got a felony warrant for your arrest, the cops are looking for you and you pass gas so loud it gives up your hiding spot, you’re definitely having a (poop emoji) day,” the department wrote on Facebook.

 

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47of74

A Louisiana woman denied ownership of a meth baggie found up there...

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-A Louisiana woman arrested yesterday denied ownership of methamphetamine that was discovered inside a plastic baggie lodged in her vagina, according to a probable cause affidavit.

Ashley Beth Rolland, 23, was questioned early Wednesday by police after a man accused her of stealing $5000 from his home. The victim, Eugene Dix, told West Monroe Police Department officers that Rolland had stayed with him in his apartment for the last week.

Dix alleged that while he was showering, Rolland took his cash and left the residence. The affidavit identifies Dix as Rolland’s boyfriend.

The female jailer also discovered a “clear plastic bag containing approximately 1 gram of methamphetamine inside Rolland’s vagina.” The suspect, however, “denied ownership of the methamphetamine.”

How did that get in there? 

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47of74

Meanwhile in Kentucky

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While handcuffed behind her back in the rear of a Kentucky squad car, a suspect removed a bag of narcotics from her vagina and snorted the white powder inside, according to police who arrested the woman on drug possession and other charges.

Responding to a report about an intoxicated couple preparing to drive a car, cops in Winchester, a city 20 miles east of Lexington, encountered Kathryn Ahlers, 28, and her boyfriend outside a vehicle on Main Street around 11:30 PM Friday.

Upon determining that Ahlers’s 17-month-old son could not be properly cared for since his mother was “manifestly under the influence and a danger to herself and others,” a Winchester Police Department officer arrested Ahlers around 2 AM Saturday and placed her in his cruiser.

Pictured above, Ahlers was handcuffed behind her back when she somehow “pulled a clear plastic baggie from her vagina cavity” and “dumped some white substance on the seat.” Ahlers then “began to inhale it through her nose.”

 

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47of74

Iowa Man to Florida Man: hold mah beer!  Linky linky

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A naked man was arrested after he stole a boat and floated into the I-74 bridge construction area Sunday night.

Tobias Hartsfield, 43, from Bettendorf, was naked when he took a boat from the Isle of Capri marina and floated towards a barge in the new bridge construction area on August 11, before 11 p.m. according to a statement from Lauran Haldeman, a spokeswoman for the city.

Hartsfield got onto the barge and untied ropes, causing the barge to shift, before he went back to the stolen boat where he was arrested by police.

Upon arrest, police were unable to find Hartsfield's clothing, according to the statement. A tug boat was also called to move the barge back into place.

 

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47of74

Pennsylvania man steps up to the plate.

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Police report that the male suspect swiped the card from a woman who gave him a ride home from a bar last week. The debit card, cops say, was inside a purse in the center console of the woman’s vehicle.

The victim, Joei Thompson, noticed the purse was missing the following day and filed a report with police in Butler, a Pittsburgh suburb. But Thompson’s debit card had already been used to purchase a $200 iPhone 6S at a MetroPCS store and a case of beer and pack of cigarettes from Butler Beer and Tobacco.

When cops examined the sales receipts for the two transactions, they discovered that the purchaser signed his name as "Thief."

The suspect used the surname “Latimore” during the iPhone purchase, which prompted Butler police to check a database that yielded the name Marc Latimore, who “matched the description” given by Thompson “as to the male she gave a ride to.”

 

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47of74

And here comes Washington Man with his eight cell phones playing Pokemon Go on the fucking highway!

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Trooper Rick Johnson says a Washington State Patrol sergeant witnessed a vehicle pulled over and parked on the shoulder of the busy roadway.

When the trooper checked on the person inside the car, they observed the man playing the popular phone game on eight separate devices.

Authorities say the man was not observed driving while playing.

The sergeant instructed the driver to put the devices away and continue driving.

 

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47of74

Note to self....when making booty calls stay awake!

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A New Jersey woman set fire to a man’s home after accepting a booty call invitation only to discover when she arrived that he had fallen asleep, police charge.

According to cops, Taija Russell, 29, torched the victim’s home around 4 AM on August 4. Russell was arrested this week on several felony charges, including attempted homicide, aggravated arson, and aggravated assault.

Investigators say that when Russell (seen above) arrived at the residence, the snoozing man did not hear her at the front door. He also did not respond to series of text messages sent by Russell.

Unable to contact the man, cops say, Russell went to a nearby gas station, where she purchased lighter fluid, matches, and a cigarette lighter. She then returned to the property and allegedly set a fire outside the door.

 

Edited by 47of74

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