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laPapessaGiovanna

Stories Part 2

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Mischievous
47of74

Louisiana Man came clean and admitted a ghost did not plant the meth in his residence....

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A man who surmised that a ghost may have planted methamphetamine in his Louisiana home eventually admitted that he, and not an otherworldly force, was responsible for the drug being in his residence, court records show.

Michael Auttonberry, 60, was arrested in October after police arrived at his home in response to a purported assault. Auttonberry, cops say, had called 911 to claim that he had been “stabbed on the head by an axe.”

When officers arrived at Auttonberry’s West Monroe home, they determined that he was not suffering from any axe wounds (and there were no assailants in sight). Cops did, however, spot “in plain view on a night stand a open brown paper containing approximately 1 gram of suspected methamphetamine,” according to a probable cause affidavit. A subsequent pat down of Auttonberry yielded a pill bottle containing an additional gram of meth.

Quizzed by cops, Auttonberry said that "a ghost or intruders" planted the drugs before climbing out a bedroom window. This claim, investigators determined, “was not accurate.”

 

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Mischievous
47of74

Connecticut Man to Florida Man: Hold mah beer!

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According to a Facebook post from the town of Ridgefield, Connecticut, a baseball game at Governor Park was delayed because of weather conditions.

 "A poor decision was made" to attempt to dry the wet field more quickly by pouring 24 gallons of gasoline and setting it on fire, the town said.

A Twitter video posted by user @AmityNorton shows the fire, with people attempting to put it out by shoveling dirt on top of it.

Several agencies including the Ridgefield Police Department and Department of Energy and Environmental Protection helped put out the fire, said the town. No one was hurt, and no one was in danger as a result of the blaze, according to the post.

 

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Mischievous
47of74

First Satan dropped her off, now Oklahoma Woman was busted trying to escape from zombies by stealing a truck parked at a Wally World.

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According to a police report, a man called 911 Tuesday morning to report that a woman had jumped into his truck, locked the doors, and was attempting to drive away. The truck, carrying Sparkletts water bottles and jugs, was parked outside a Walmart in Sapulpa, a Tulsa suburb.

The suspect, identified by cops as Tamanda Billings, 27, reportedly told driver Devonte Harris that she needed his wheels to flee zombies. Harris, who was delivering an order to Walmart, said that when he asked Billings to get out of his truck, she replied, "No, there are Zombies after me."

But Billings, a mother of two young children, had her escape from the undead stymied when she could not get the Freightliner truck moving. Cops responding to the 911 call eventually had to break the vehicle’s window to remove Billings from the cab.

Billings has a lengthy rap that includes convictions in four separate Oklahoma counties for crimes like arson, malicious mischief, public intoxication, resisting arrest, and  disturbing the peace. Following a 2016 trespass collar, Billings claimed that “Satan” had dropped her off in the neighborhood she was found wandering. “I don’t like cops, you’re all possessed,” Billings declared, adding, “They’re coming for us.” Cops reported, “There was nothing worth noting in the general direction she was looking.”

 

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Mischievous
47of74

And now we have Tennessee Woman stepping up to the plate in a story that involves Wally World, electric shopping scooters, and Waffle House!

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A woman was arrested in Crossville after allegedly riding an electric shopping scooter from Walmart to Waffle House.

Crossville police said 45-year-old Sally Selby was charged with theft after officers pulled her over driving in the slow lane on Main Street.

She allegedly said she got the cart from Walmart and was driving it to Waffle House to get a cup of coffee.

Selby told police she had built the cart and someone had ripped the lights off of it.

 

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Mischievous
47of74

Wisconsin Man and Wisconsin Woman are stepping up to the plate

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A 46-year-old woman and her 25-year-old son were arrested after a series of incidents at a Wisconsin Walmart.

According to the Eau Claire Police Department, Lisa Smith and her son, Benny Vann, entered their local Walmart on Wednesday night along with Smith's dog, Bo. Bo, who was not on a leash, ran away from his owner and rather than chase after him, Smith proceeded to dismantling store displays and putting them in her shopping cart.

However, between being asked to leave and the arrival of the police, Smith allegedly went into the parking lot to perform karate moves. Those moves were later put on display as Smith resisted arrested. The Eau Claire police said she also "attempted to kick out a window on the squad car" as officers took her into custody. Smith was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and misdemeanor bail jumping.

The department said that Vann proceeded to the back of the store where he removed all of his clothes, exposing himself to customers in the store. Afterward, Vann took clothes from the racks of clothing inside the Walmart store and clothed himself but did not move to pay for the items as he left the building. When officers asked Vann to stop, he attempted to run over a policeman with the scooter he was riding.

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Briefly
On 4/10/2019 at 2:18 PM, 47of74 said:

First Satan dropped her off, now Oklahoma Woman was busted trying to escape from zombies by stealing a truck parked at a Wally World.

 

I'm seeing a trend here.  The People of WalMart are trying to outdo Florida Man/Woman!

I know where the Wallyworld is that she stole the truck from, I'm pretty sure that the zombies are not at that store.  They may be at another one in Tulsa, but not that one.

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Mischievous
47of74

Missouri Woman really wanted some chocolate ice cream

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Incensed that a St. Louis hamburger joint had run out of chocolate ice cream, a female suspect went on a 2:25 AM rampage, breaking out the restaurant’s windows with a baseball bat and spitting on employees, according to police.

Officials are seeking the public’s help in identifying the woman who trashed the Rally’s Hamburgers outlet on March 27.

According to a St. Louis police summary, investigators classified the incident as a burglary and listed three women as victims. The suspect, cops say, became “enraged after ordering her food” and “then used an aluminum baseball bat to break the glass windows of the business” and threaten the victims (none of whom were injured).

Investigators say the woman went ballistic after Rally’s workers informed her they only had vanilla ice cream available. Upon learning that there was no chocolate ice cream in stock, she spit on employees and then set upon the business’s windows with a baseball bat

 

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Mischievous
47of74

Jesus, Wisconsin.  Y'all keep this up we might need a whole topic just for you.

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According to a Grant County Sheriff's Department report, a juvenile, who was not identified, located items related to the use of methamphetamines inside a duffel bag on April 12. The child took the items to Fennimore High School and made contact with the principal. 

The principal alerted authorities, who identified a "glass smoking device" and a digital scale, according to the release. They approached the child's father, Jeremy Koppen, 39, of rural Fennimore.

Yeah Koppen got his bail jumping ass arrested afterwards.

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