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Joy & Austin 21: Still Talking About Baby Gideon


Jellybean

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22 minutes ago, mydoggoskeeper said:

If I had to eat any of the Dugger girls food, I think I would go with Jinger.  She looked like she was cooking up some reasonably healthy and fresh food.   Jessa doesn't give AF but at least Ben brings some interesting fruits and veggies home to try.  Jill cooks straight out of a can and Joy, thus far, is doing the bare minimum.

So much for their M.S. in homemaking.   

They were used to bulk cooking tatter tot casserole and processed foods, so they have never had to cook smaller amounts of healthy food. Jill struggling to make rice for a few people shows how unprepared they are, Josh and Anna bought too much food for their honeymoon because they forgot it was only going to be them. Jim Bob and Michelle never let them explore a lot of different foods either.

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1 hour ago, tabitha2 said:

When you have that many toddlers and small children experimenting with food is not really feasible  anyway :)

I kinda have to disagree with this. GryffindorDisappointment ate what I (and her dad, then later her stepdad) ate. If she didn't like it, she was free to make a PB&J sandwich and join us at the table. That's how I was raised, and also all my cousins. 

In my family, the kids ate what the parents ate. Period. If they refused, they knew PB&J/bread were an option. (except for the aunt/uncle referenced, below)

 

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3 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I kinda have to disagree with this. GryffindorDisappointment ate what I (and her dad, then later her stepdad) ate. If she didn't like it, she was free to make a PB&J sandwich and join us at the table. That's how I was raised, and also all my cousins. 

I always had to eat what was made. So if I didn't like part of it I had to cherry pick and fill up on the rest of the meal. I understand it in practicality but since I just don't like meat very well I was hungry a lot. There was an exception though, everyone could pick one thing they didn't have to eat and they could make their own meal. Mine was fish, the smell makes me gag. 

Now that I have a kid I'm not really sure what method to go with. I feel that my family was a little strict about it and in my husbands family if you didn't clear your plate you best believe that's what your getting for breakfast. Which seems pretty irrational to me as well. But I do like this idea that @SapphireSlytherin Mentioned.

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@Daisy0322 - Thankfully, my parents didn't enforce the "clean your plate" rule, but my aunt and uncle did. It was awful at their house at mealtime - especially when my aunt cooked something one of her kids didn't like. It would be HOURS at the table for the poor kid (generally the middle child, who really only liked spaghetti).

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in my family If I was with my grandparents which was a lot I usually had a big hand in picking dinner. at my moms we ate what we wanted from the meal and there were a lot of fend for yourself nights growing up also. 

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19 minutes ago, Daisy0322 said:

I always had to eat what was made. So if I didn't like part of it I had to cherry pick and fill up on the rest of the meal. I understand it in practicality but since I just don't like meat very well I was hungry a lot. There was an exception though, everyone could pick one thing they didn't have to eat and they could make their own meal. Mine was fish, the smell makes me gag. 

Now that I have a kid I'm not really sure what method to go with. I feel that my family was a little strict about it and in my husbands family if you didn't clear your plate you best believe that's what your getting for breakfast. Which seems pretty irrational to me as well. But I do like this idea that @SapphireSlytherin Mentioned.

I was raised by parents who were young during the Depression/years afterward, so it was "waste not, want not.".   We were to clean our plates and picky eaters had to just deal with it.  For my son, I mostly made food we both liked, but if he didn't want the main dish, he could make himself a piece of peanut butter bread.  Not sure how I would have handled the situation if I'd had more than one kid.

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I grew up in a "you must clear your plate" household and I do believe it helped lead to my struggles with food and weight. To this day if I'm at a restaurant, I still feel like I have to eat everything on the plate, even if the portion is huge or I don't really care for the food. At one point in my adult life I was buying small dessert paper plates for my meals so I wouldn't accidentally serve myself too much, because once it was on the plate it had to go in my mouth. So while I personally don't make any separate meals for my kid, I won't make her clean the plate either.

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My two were not picky eaters, thank goodness. We had a couple of foster kids who had been starved, so we made healthy meals and told them it was ok if they didn't like something. My daughter encouraged her son to try things and if he didn't like it he could say no thank you. It is known as the no thank you bite.

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2 hours ago, Glasgowghirl said:

They were used to bulk cooking tatter tot casserole and processed foods, so they have never had to cook smaller amounts of healthy food. Jill struggling to make rice for a few people shows how unprepared they are, Josh and Anna bought too much food for their honeymoon because they forgot it was only going to be them. Jim Bob and Michelle never let them explore a lot of different foods either.

I honestly hope this is the last time I have to say this, but Jill not knowing how to cook rice was very likely staged for the show. If you watch each daughter courting you’ll see each one has an episode where she “learns” to cook a special dish for her significant other:

- Jill had Jana help her cook a Nepali dish. Cathy was battling cancer at this time and Derick didn’t appear to have other close female relatives in the area at the time, which is why Jill wasn’t shown cooking with one of Derick’s family members.

- Jessa made chicken parm and a dessert with Jinger and two of Ben’s sisters.

- Jinger made sauce with Jeremy’s Grandma. 

- Joy baked cheesecake with her MIL.

Additionally, there have been several instances of a Duggar daughter “not knowing” how to cook:

- Jill couldn’t figure out the rice.

- Jessa started the oven without removing the manual.

- Jinger couldn’t name basic pasta shapes.

There is absolutely a running theme of TLC depicting the daughters as not knowing what they’re doing in the kitchen. Some of them - mainly Jessa - don’t like to cook and fully admit they aren’t good at it, but that’s definitely not the case with all of them at all. The food related posts Jill has shared since marriage shows a good deal of fresh produce and some healthy-ish looking home cooked meals, along with a bit of not so healthy stuff as well - fairly normal for someone in their 20s. My guess is that TLC felt making them look more inept then they actually were was a way to make the Duggars a bit more relatable. 

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Naming your children after their male parent is a choice, it's not automatic or set in stone...

 

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We’re not too strict with food, I don’t think. Unless a food has literally made you gag, you have to take one little bite. Same with any new recipe. I try to make sure that there are things everyone likes when I make something that I know someone doesn’t like. My husband did make a rule that no one can say that the food is disgusting. The boys got into a habit of that whenever I made anything that wasn’t an unhealthy comfort food (which is most of the time lol). He told them it was rude, disrespectful, and ungrateful to me to act that way when I work so hard to feed everyone. They can say they don’t care for it and I make a point to ask everyone how they feel about new recipes, whether they would want this again, etc. If they made an attempt to eat the stuff they did like and are still hungry they can eat yogurt or make themselves eggs or something like that. I would never make them gag down a bunch of stuff they hated. 

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My baby is 15 months old, but she’s already very opinionated about food. If she’s not liking something or doesn’t want something she throws it onto the floor where our dog helpfully eats it for her. :pb_rollseyes:

Her Pediatrician said a lot of what’s been mentioned here though- offer variety and be mindful of her nutritional needs, but never force her to eat if she says she’s full because that can lead to unhealthy habits. Avoid sugary drinks and gummy snacks that stick to her teeth. Give her free access to water all day long. I figure we’ll just continue offering her the same food we happen to be eating (like the vegan chili I made tonight) and just give her something quick and easy if she doesn’t want it. Once she’s older we can introduce the one bite rule and the idea that she can fix herself something simple (like a sandwich) if she doesn’t like or want what’s being served. 

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When I married my first husband, I took his last name.  Mine was pretty ethnic, while his was pretty generic.  So, as an example and definitely not any real names here -- related to me, anyway -- , Jennifer Albrecht changed to Jennifer Johnson.  Fast forward, three kids and a divorce later, my name was still Jennifer Johnson.  I wanted to keep the simpler last name that was the same as my kids.

My now-husband  (Brent) was told up front, before we really started dating, that as long as my kids were young, they would come first, and if he couldn't deal with that, scurry along.  He dealt. 

I really struggled with the name thing, though.  I didn't want to have a different name than my kids, and my ex's family will claim me before they'd claim him, so I didn't really want to give that up.  WE might be divorced, but that side of the family is just that.... STILL my family.  But keeping my ex's name while married to someone else didn't feel right either. It didn't help that Brent's last name didn't flow at all with mine... Jennifer Fletcher, as an example.  

So, one day, Brent says that he isn't attached to his surname, since his father abandoned him as a baby, so why doesn't he change his name to match me and the kids?   I pointed out that it would mean he was taking my ex-husband's name.  He just shrugged and said it would make it easier on me and the kids, so it made the most sense.... and that's why my husband has my ex-husband's last name.  Instead of being Brent and Jennifer Fletcher, we are Jennifer and Brent Johnson.  

Interestingly, Brent will say he likes ex-husband's mother more than his own!  She says she prefers Brent to her own son... probably because my ex won't ever help her out, but Brent will do anything she asks.   He is a good guy!

(And again, none of these names are real!)

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We also did and still do, the one "no thank you bite". You must at least taste everything on the table. If you don't like it, fine, either eat what you do like, or you know where the pb&j is. 

My older son went thru a stage of only eating pb&j, and I mean only. He would not put anything else in his mouth. He wanted it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. I think it lasted about 6 months or so. I talked with the pediatrician about it and he said it was fine. Give him a glass of milk with it and let him be. I always offered him whatever we were eating, even made him a little plate with everything on it. Nope, not going to eat it, just pb&j.

He eventually outgrew it and I'm sure moved on to some other crazy sh$t to drive me crazy. But, that's their job, drive parents crazy. They grow up in spite of all the stupid crap they do. 

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My son was super picky as a toddler/preschooler, at that age he ate what he ate, and I made concessions, he refused to touch anything green, the kid even picked green m&m's out of the little snack packs he got every so often as a treat.  The kid could pick a pea out of a mouthful of food eat everything but the pea and pit it out without a single bite mark on it.  He will eat anything now, except peas.  My dd wasn't a picky toddler/preschooler aside from not liking bread or french fries. I made her breadless sandwiches and she got apple slices with her occasional happy meal.  She got pickier as she got older, as soon as she was old enough to make herself something to eat she would.  Though on occasion if I knew she really hated something I would have something else for her, I did have easy cook items on hand for her because she is so picky.  

I never forced my kids to clean their plates, I would give them a pate of food if they wanted more I gave them more, if they said they were done then they were done, now if they asked for dessert or a snack before leaving the table I would require they eat more other wise they were done until.   @VelociRapture our pediatrician told us the same thing, he also told me several times toddlers/preschoolers won't starve if you give them options, they will eventually eat something. My kids did what he called 'pic and binge" they would eat very little for a day or two, but then gorge themselves others, he said that is very normal, as long as they are getting protein and some veggies every day it was fine, now my kids were ALWAYS off the chart for height and weight, he also said this to my friends kids and hers were always in the 20th 30th percentile but the key was consistency, if my kids fell to the 20th or her's jumped to the 100th in weight that would be cause for concern. 

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I have very strong feelings about not making children eat things they don't want to eat. Luckily, my parents never did that, but my childhood best friend's parents did, and it honestly still impacts me today. They didn't just make us try everything. They gave us a serving of everything (they decided the size of the serving) and we had to finish it. I once made myself throw up because I washed down every single bite of something with a huge gulp of water. I didn't eat mashed potatoes until I was 16 because they had once made me eat potato/pumpkin mash which I found really gross. I literally just ate peas for the first time this past Christmas, at 27, because they forced me to eat a serving of peas once, when I was maybe 7. They also made us eat grilled liver, and I still can't even stand the smell of that. I know that I was a picky eater as a child, but I never made a big deal out of it. I was always happy just eating the parts of the meal that I liked, or even just a sandwich. Forcing children to eat things they don't want to eat just seems cruel to me, and is definitely something I will never do to my future kids. And if I ever hear of someone else doing it to them, they will have to answer to me.

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my kids grew up with the "two choices for dinner, take it or leave it".  They weren't offered a choice, nothing...I pretty much always made things the kids would eat but every now and then one kid or another would get squirrely and see if mom's policy was still in place. Surprise! It damn sure was! IF, by some chance I was making something I KNEW one or more of the kids didn't like, then I'd offer an alternative...BUT, as a general rule...nope. I cooked it, you ate it. What's funny is that history repeats itself...same policy with my kids/grandkids now. 

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Interesting ... my kid is a picky eater but not at school which i find weird! I pick him up and they tell me he ate quinoa and rice for lunch and asked for seconds! WTF I struggle some days to get him to eat mac n cheese which is his all time favourite. #parenthood

 

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The only thing I remember really hating but being forced to eat as a child was creamed salmon on toast. Eventually my grandma caught on that I loathed it and stopped making it when I was coming for lunch or dinner. Funny thing is every now and then as an adult I’ve had a random craving for it (haven’t given in though) 

I’m such a diverse food person that I really don’t know what I’ll do if my child(ren) are super picky. 

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7 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Married once, had a hyphenated last name. Never again. Too many letters, LOL! Divorced,  Advertised in the papers, etc., changed back to the maiden name. Married again. Did NOT change the name.

FF 32 years. Somehow my social security card did NOT get the name change, so for all these years it has sported the hyphenated name. I had to go back to my state of previous marriage, get copies of the license and divorce decree, and now I have to take the papers to the SS office and HOPE they'll accept this as proof of changing my name back. Otherwise, I"ll have to advertise in the paper again, LOL!.

You could try contacting the library and/or historical society in the community where you got your divorce. There's a good chance they would have the original newspapers from when you initially advertised your name change. 

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I'm a total foodie and I will despair if I end up having a picky eater for a kid. I guess my rules will be "thank you" portions (eat a little to see if you like it, and if you really hate it, you don't have to eat it) and that if you don't like what's on the table, make your own food with what's in the house (i.e. no McDonald's or pizza), and if you're really displeased with what I make, learn to cook (which I will happily teach you to do). 

My parents were always really big on cooking lots of different things (and my dad is a major foodie who loves trying new recipes), and upheld the "make your own if you don't like it, only eat a little of it, but never be ungrateful for food we worked hard to buy and make for you" philosophy, so there are very few foods I really dislike -- I mostly have preferences rather than hard loathing for any foods (exceptions being ranch dressing, which I find absolutely revolting, and tuna wiggle, which just tastes like barf to me -- I realize it's a texture thing more than anything else). I also learned how to cook and started making family meals more often/being my dad's sous-chef because my mom made a rule that whoever cooked didn't have to do dishes, and I hated doing the dishes. Now I live alone and I have to cook AND do the dishes. When I told my mom this, she said "that's why you have children. Why do you think I let you come home and then I cook for you?"

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2 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

...tuna wiggle...

I'm kind of afraid to ask, but I'm also curious. :my_biggrin: What exactly is tuna wiggle?

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I eat a wide variety of things, but am very picky when it comes to seafood, meat, spicy things, and anything otherwise culturally unknown to me.

My husband, bless him, eats everything. And I mean everything. He enjoys any kind of seafood, steak tartare, snails - you name it! Whenever we visit a new place, he will ask for the local specialty and most likely eat it, no matter what it is, while I sit at the table in awe with my chicken breast or vegetable wok.

Hopefully my daughter will take after my husband and become an adventurous eater who will at least be willing to give everything a try. I have decided that I will make a point to not comment on my husband's food choices and discreetly eat my boring selections while I encourage the two of them to dig in.

Right now I'm confident that this will work out, but check with me again in a year or two! :my_smile:

I like the rules people brought up here - give it a try, and make yourself a sandwich if you really can't eat what has been prepared for you.

Thank you all for always having great ideas, suggestions, and advice! :my_heart:

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Not worth it to force eating, the idea of a tiny bite and then a PB&J is a good idea.  I wouldn't even try green beans until I was visiting my father and my step mother made the comment that my older brother refused to eat them.  I had to show off and assured her I loved them.  Guess what?  I do.  

My youngest was friends with a girl from South Korea when she was 9 or 10, and was frequently invited to eat with them.  She ate things she'd never eat at home, octopus, crab, squid, etc.  I asked her why, and she admitted that she was mostly being polite, but she also enjoyed watching their pleased reactions when she ate stuff they'd learned many children wouldn't even try.  

It's almost 15 years later, and I recently asked her if she'd still eat octopus.  She said "I'd never ask for it, but I know I can get it down.  But don't try to serve it to me now, because I know that you'd only do it for a joke.  But when someone moves halfway across the world to live here, if they want to cook me food that reminds them of home, I'll eat it with a smile."

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