Dillards 51: Making Play Look Complicated

[luv2laugh]

Is it just me or does it feel like every week I check this thread, I see a picture of Derick in bed?

[BabyBottlePop]

Derick is trying to stay relevant by starting shit. Me thinks he thinks his nasty stance on things will result in some conservative media gig, but I think no job offers will be forthcoming because he's shown himself to be combative and not easily controlled. The media Derrick wants to court knows what they're looking for, and it's not D-Wreck. 

[Edhelfin]

4 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

Israel looked like a pretty content boy from the photos she posts. 

I am worried about what they are doing to make him 'look content'.

[singsingsing]

14 minutes ago, Edhelfin said:

I am worried about what they are doing to make him 'look content'.

Just a few whacks with the old wooden spoon, I'm sure! You know, so he won't grow up to be one of those damn librul snowflakes. He has to be TOUGH if he's going to be PISTOL PETE some day! And they have to break his spirit early, he is a master manipulator, after all.

[Edhelfin]

27 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Just a few whacks with the old wooden spoon, I'm sure! You know, so he won't grow up to be one of those damn librul snowflakes. He has to be TOUGH if he's going to be PISTOL PETE some day! And they have to break his spirit early, he is a master manipulator, after all.

Or the blissfully calming effect of an hour (being optimistic) of toddler swaddling...

[snickers34]

3 hours ago, BabyBottlePop said:

The media Derrick wants to court knows what they're looking for, and it's not D-Wreck. 

Plus of basically everyone in that family - either married in or born in - he's like the least personable or charming. He's just an unfunny, wife dipping dork.

As much as I'm disgusted to say it, at least with Josh I could see in the conservative videos and speeches that he had a presence and confidence about him. I know, I'm throwing up a bit on my keyboard as I type this....

[Ivycoveredtower]

On 3/3/2018 at 7:35 PM, tabitha2 said:

Or he could have genuinely been attracted to her, had feelings for her and wanted to be with her. And Visa versa. Feelings arent so  rational and don’t always  make sense  Also You could say that about Jeremy and Ben just as well. 

first of all hi to all of you I have been gone for years. yikes I may have forgotten about this sight for awhile. now onto this. I believe that Ben and Jessa and Jeremy and JInger had a chance to fall in love and get to know at least parts of the real person they were marrying. 

I don't believe the same for Derrick and JIll. those two just talked a few times via skype and then Jill hopped on a plane and went to Nepal and boom she was in a courtship. then of course her and Derick had to rush to the alter to beat Jessa and Ben so they went from not knowing each to barely knowing each other to a few months with him back in the states and then a ring was on her finger a wedding was being planned and a baby soon followed. 

I think Jill was too competitive for her own good she just had to be that first daughter married and now she's stuck. part of me wonders if that's why she is "Rebelling" with the pants and the nose ring because she played that perfect fundy daughter and look where it got her stuck with Derek so if being perfect didn't work why not have some fun right. 

I have been thinking way to much about Jill since the nose ring thing LMAO 

[luv2laugh]

I think Jill could be having a faith/identity crisis since life has not turned out as planned for her.

Her home births have resulted in complicated c sections. As a holistic-minded midwife hoping to be Michelle 2.0, this has been hard for her to stomach.

Her accountant husband has turned into a confrontational grifter.

Her husband had them, the golden child daughter, fired from her family’s show.

They’ve gone from living in a mansion listed for sale at $4 million, to living in a McMansion pool house, and now living in a much smaller home. 

I think she tries very, very hard to see the good in little things to avoid depression. Whether it’s having an at-home date night, Dominoe’s pizza in the car, Saturday morning snuggles, besthubbyever bringing her chocolate milk, giving her a foot rub or cooking, she has document it to feel like it’s a life worth living.

I admire her for trying SO very hard to hunt down the good things to be grateful for but it makes me feel sad for her...

[mizandry]

Re: Jill's recent style changes - I'm leaning towards the theory that she's competing for Derick's attention ever since he started tweeting out bible quotes on lust and temptation for the public to read. Whether or not he had a private conversation with her about what I suspect was a desire to cheat/him already cheating on her is another story - but I'm sure his twitter was enough for her to get the message that she's just not good enough as is, and needs to be in constant stress mode about her asshole husband's wandering eye.

Derick courted her for a reason, and a big part of that reason has to do with the cult she is in and the way they view marriage and a woman's place within it  He can do whatever the fuck he wants and Jill will just blame herself for his behavior, just as she was taught to do her entire childhood. He strikes me as an incredibly self-centered, self-aggrandizing opportunist who would have no problem taking full advantage of that power dynamic. I think you kind of have to be to act the way he has post-Trump while hiding behind Christianity to justify his shittiness (and I'm under no illusion that it's just him; when it comes to misgendering and harassing Jazz and treating any support in her life as a talking point for anti-trans bullshit -- Jeremy started on that in the public eye first, but he had the forethought to do it in a sermon). 

Judging by what I saw of the courtship episodes for Jessa and Ben, I honestly think Ben was pushed into this lifestyle. His parents were essentially like, "You're 18, go start a family and fuck off" (okay hyperbolic impression but STILL, that's how it came across to me). Ben wasn't prepared for any of this, but I don't know if he ever felt like he had the support around him to take a different path, and I believe he genuinely was/is attracted to Jessa, so he went along with what the adults around him were pushing him to do by that age. 

I think Austin is in a similar predicament when it comes to being coerced into this lifestyle, but I also believe he's all for it at this point. I get control freak vibes all over from that guy, and it's not because he's awkward on camera (he's certainly not the first in that regard). Either way, I find him highly unlikable. His parents definitely use the Pearl method and he really doesn't strike me as one to stop that cycle. The way he bosses Joy around and looks at her sometimes during THs makes me shudder. Also, I'm vegan... 'nuff said.

 
 

[Ivycoveredtower]

13 minutes ago, mizandry said:

Re: Jill's recent style changes - I'm leaning towards the theory that she's competing for Derick's attention ever since he started tweeting out bible quotes on lust and temptation for the public to read. Whether or not he had a private conversation with her about what I suspect was a desire to cheat/him already cheating on her is another story - but I'm sure his twitter was enough for her to get the message that she's just not good enough as is, and needs to be in constant stress mode about her asshole husband's wandering eye.

Derick courted her for a reason, and I think a big part of that reason has to do with the cult she is in and the way they view marriage and a woman's place within it  He can do whatever the fuck he wants and Jill will just blame herself for his behavior, just as she was taught to do her entire childhood. He strikes me as an incredibly self-centered, self-aggrandizing opportunist who would have no problem taking full advantage of that power dynamic. I think you kind of have to be to act the way he has post-Trump while hiding behind Christianity to justify his shittiness (and I'm under no illusion that it's just him; like the Jazz thing -- Jeremy started on that shit in public first, but he did it in a sermon). 

Judging by what I saw of the courtship episodes for Jessa and Ben, I honestly think Ben was pushed into this lifestyle. His parents were essentially like, "You're 18, go start a family and fuck off" (okay hyperbolic impression but STILL, that's how it came across to me). Ben wasn't prepared for any of this, but I don't know if he ever felt like he had the support around him to take a different path, and I believe he genuinely was/is attracted to Jessa, so he went along with what the adults around him were pushing him to do by that age. 

I think Austin is in a similar predicament when it comes to being coerced into this lifestyle, but I also believe he's all for it at this point. I get control freak vibes all over from that guy, and it's not because he's awkward on camera (he's certainly not the first in that regard). Either way, I find him highly unlikable. His parents definitely use the Pearl method and he really doesn't strike me as one to stop that cycle. The way he bosses Joy around and looks at her sometimes during THs makes me shudder.

 

you make some good points about all of them. now you are making me wonder if Derick purposefully got them kicked off the show in a power play against JIm Bob and Jill lets face it Jim bob and by extension Jill held the cards in that relationship now he kind of has a job and I'm guessing his house isn't provided by Jim Bob  and he's off the show so maybe this is his way to alienate Jill from her family a bit because he is control hungry.  notice when JInger announced her pregnancy anyway there was JIm bob and MEchelle along with Jessa and Ben Joy and Austin and  even Josh and Anna  well Derick and Jill did a separate video. as for Gideon's birth  or Kendra's gender reveal no video from the Dullards. 

[GreatScott]

I don’t think Jill has the ability to feel all that we project on her. I’m not saying she’s dumb, but that her upbringing, both in the lack of education and the pushing of Jesus solves everything, does not lend itself to ask the sort of questions we feel we would ask if it was us in her spot (we being the collective we of people who are not in her cult). 

I don’t think there’s a secret unhappiness or Jill trying to one up anyone. I think she sincerely still believes her life is a gift from god and is perfect. I doubt she has the reflection that we have on her life. She sees someone who courted and fell in love and got married, was blessed with two kids, has family who know Jesus, a husband who leads her and her sons to god (and remember, there is zero chance that a Jill and the rest of the duggars don’t believe the same thing derick spews. They’re just quiet about it). Jill believes the stuff she says because she has no choice, she wasn’t taught critical thinking skills, or personal opinions. She was taught to be a house wife and a Mother and to praise all her husband does, no mater what. 

Any relfection she would make would be about how amazing her life has been since she met derick. 

[SassyPants]

12 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

you make some good points about all of them. now you are making me wonder if Derick purposefully got them kicked off the show in a power play against JIm Bob and Jill lets face it Jim bob and by extension Jill held the cards in that relationship now he kind of has a job and I'm guessing his house isn't provided by Jim Bob  and he's off the show so maybe this is his way to alienate Jill from her family a bit because he is control hungry.  notice when JInger announced her pregnancy anyway there was JIm bob and MEchelle along with Jessa and Ben Joy and Austin and  even Josh and Anna  well Derick and Jill did a separate video. as for Gideon's birth  or Kendra's gender reveal no video from the Dullards. 

Add that he failed at the mission gig and has proven to be a poor grifter- these are all good things as I hope DD has enough integrity that he will not let his wife and current children go hungry. The more failures that come DDs way in his fantasy world, the sooner he can get back to supporting his family the way that 95% of all young married couples do, BY GETTING A RELIABLE AND SUSTAINABLE DAY JOB WITH HCBs-

My theme for all these fundies, especially the Duggars as they are seen as royalty, is: Y'ALL ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL!

[mydoggoskeeper]

I see a lot of parallels between Jill and my childhood best friend, who grew up conservative Christian, married young, had some difficult births, etc.   She, like Jill, is a people pleaser and draws much of her self-worth from what she thinks other people think of her.  Several years into her marriage she too got a nose ring and played with her style choices a bit more. I think it was her way of exploring who she was as a person within the confines of what was safe and acceptable -- which she had relatively more freedom in doing now that she was already a wife and mother. 

My friend also gets more stressed out than others in unpredictable or fluid situations.  She thrives when she feels safe in a known world with established routines and boundaries.  In the same way, I think JIll is trying to find her new normal so she too can feel comfortable and finally relax into her self.  All the moving and unpredictability of Sintral American was not the mission work she had imagined or probably was well suited for.  The clinginess we saw was her coping mechanism.  

[Gillyweed]

18 hours ago, singsingsing said:

He has to be TOUGH if he's going to be PISTOL PETE some day!

I REALLY REALLY hope that if Jill is handling Izzy's schooling, they don't make him apply to OSU and then blame him when he doesn't get in...

[singsingsing]

4 minutes ago, Gillyweed said:

I REALLY REALLY hope that if Jill is handling Izzy's schooling, they don't make him apply to OSU and then blame him when he doesn't get in...

Derick will probably blame the liberal media, atheists, transgender people, millennials, illegal immigrants, Democrats, and/or Satan. 

[PainfullyAware]

14 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

I'm guessing his house isn't provided by Jim Bob  and he's off the show so maybe this is his way to alienate Jill from her family a bit because he is control hungry

I definitely agree that Derick has broken with the Duggars in a key way that has led to some distancing from them. To me it seems like they all share the same beliefs but differ on how to act on them. The parental Duggars want to evangelize on the 'look at our perfect Godly all-American family' tv show platform. They downplay the hateful side of their cult because they know it won't sell as broadly. Derick wants to minister (air quotes) by trolling and spewing. He's an angry zealot.

My inner armchair psychologist wants to believe his anger and fanaticism are a reaction to almost losing his mother and actually losing his father. He gains a sense of control this way. If he went along with Jim Bob he would be a passenger on the Duggar train rather than in the driver seat of his own life. Controlling Jill, whether by open shaming or more subtle guilting may definitely be part of how he works. At the very least we know he wants to separate her from her parents' influence. She seems to spend a lot of  time with her family though so he isn't isolating her to that extent.

Jill most likely feels anxiety about the future. More babies, more cesareans, less money, no safety net...anyone would worry. It's probably not what she expected. On the other hand she definitely seems happier than being a missionary in evil CA converting Catholics from "demonic paganism" or whatever Jeremy called it. She probably feels conflicted - Derick tells her she should embrace the poverty of being a ministering family and trust Jesus to provide, while the pragmatism of Jim Bob probably screams her husband isn't providing adequately. 

[SassyPants]

38 minutes ago, PainfullyAware said:

 while the pragmatism of Jim Bob probably screams her husband isn't providing adequately. 

I think Jill can probably remember when Pops didn't provide so adequately himself.

[PainfullyAware]

@SassyPants true! But he's always been an opportunist, looking for ways to make money. Derick looks for ways NOT to make money

[Ivycoveredtower]

24 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I think Jill can probably remember when Pops didn't provide so adequately himself.

you just made me think of how Jill once said she had to eat in the bathroom so she was sure to get food or the time Jessa said they all had to eat fast so they were sure to get seconds of the good stuff. makes you wonder how they actually feed all those kids before the two kitchens and multiple ovens ect...

[nastyhobbitses]

There are a lot of parallels you can draw between Derick and Jeremy, but they do diverge in key ways.

I think they both went for Duggar girls because they're attractive and pliable. Derick took advantage of Jill's lack of education and unwavering desire to please people, and her need to derive her self-worth from getting validation from other people. I think if he got into the PUA game (which he totally would if he didn't have an in to a veritable brideshow of pliable, uneducated fundie women whose dads pimp them out to any clean-cut white guy who says the right Jeebus buzzwords), he'd love negging girls like Jill. I'm sure he negs Jill. I think Derick has a low opinion of women, and can't really reconcile the fact that his mom was a working woman who sadly became a single mother, with the teachings of Christian patriarchy. So he seeks out a new mommy who will be like the mommy he thinks he should have had. And that's Jill. It's very Freudian. Jeremy also wanted a girl to control, but I think he wanted to mold her. Derick doesn't really care about making Jill into the woman he wants, because she'll do that on her own ("find out what you want, be that girl for a month"). Jeremy enjoys molding Jinger. That's not to say that Jinger didn't already/also want to dress in more glamorous clothes, wear pants, live in a more urban area, etc., but he kinda likes the controlling element of molding Jinger. It's a kind of Svengali/Henry Higgins vibe. I think he also has a little bit of a savior complex. Look at me plucking this country bumpkin girl out of Arkansas and buying her nice clothes and having her eat sophisticated food and making her a fabulous fundie housewife! 

The vibe I get from Joy and Austin is that they're both extremely conservative (I think the Reddit AMA stated that Joy is the most outspokenly conservative of the siblings), he's fitting into the role he's been groomed since birth to fit into, as is she. I think Austin likes that Joy is as submissive as she is, but I don't get the semi-predatory vibe I get from Jeremy and Derick. I think he sees it as a given/added bonus. Here's a pretty girl who shares my interests and values, and hey, she'll tolerate any level of bullshit from me because Jesus. Score! With Derick and Jeremy, I think it was the other way around: here's a girl who will tolerate my bullshit no matter what, plus she's hot and I guess she likes skinny jeans and travel. 

Ben and Jessa I think have the healthiest relationship by a mile. We don't see it all, of course, but they actually seem to respect each other and Jessa has admitted that their marriage isn't perfect and is very hard work. It also helps that it seems like Ben has grown out of his INRI Azalea white-boy rapper phase, or at least he's clammed up about it. 

I really hope Joe and Josiah are better husbands than the other Duggar hubbies (except for Ben). 

[Ivycoveredtower]

29 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

There are a lot of parallels you can draw between Derick and Jeremy, but they do diverge in key ways.

I think they both went for Duggar girls because they're attractive and pliable. Derick took advantage of Jill's lack of education and unwavering desire to please people, and her need to derive her self-worth from getting validation from other people. I think if he got into the PUA game (which he totally would if he didn't have an in to a veritable brideshow of pliable, uneducated fundie women whose dads pimp them out to any clean-cut white guy who says the right Jeebus buzzwords), he'd love negging girls like Jill. I'm sure he negs Jill. I think Derick has a low opinion of women, and can't really reconcile the fact that his mom was a working woman who sadly became a single mother, with the teachings of Christian patriarchy. So he seeks out a new mommy who will be like the mommy he thinks he should have had. And that's Jill. It's very Freudian. Jeremy also wanted a girl to control, but I think he wanted to mold her. Derick doesn't really care about making Jill into the woman he wants, because she'll do that on her own ("find out what you want, be that girl for a month"). Jeremy enjoys molding Jinger. That's not to say that Jinger didn't already/also want to dress in more glamorous clothes, wear pants, live in a more urban area, etc., but he kinda likes the controlling element of molding Jinger. It's a kind of Svengali/Henry Higgins vibe. I think he also has a little bit of a savior complex. Look at me plucking this country bumpkin girl out of Arkansas and buying her nice clothes and having her eat sophisticated food and making her a fabulous fundie housewife! 

 

ir marriage isn't perfect and is very hard work. It also helps that it seems like Ben has grown out of his INRI Azalea white-boy rapper phase, or at least he's clammed up about it. 

 

 

I am not sure about Jeremy he does seem to love it that Jinger shops so much which I found weird when Jessa joked that Jinger said she was going to stop shopping after the wedding and Jeremy was like no I Like it when she buys me things. 

 

as for Ben and Jessa I honestly think Jessa is in control in that relationship and that's how she likes it. I think she purposefully picked someone younger that she could boss around. remember the younger kids always said don't mess with Jess. and she was the headstrong one of the bunch always leading her siblings into bad behavior. coloring on cabinets and such.  

[luv2laugh]

@nastyhobbitses What reddit AMA said this?

[CorruptionInc.]

1 hour ago, nastyhobbitses said:

It also helps that it seems like Ben has grown out of his INRI Azalea white-boy rapper phase.

I can't stop laughing at this one. 

[HarryPotterFan]

6 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Derick will probably blame the liberal media, atheists, transgender people, millennials, illegal immigrants, Democrats, and/or Satan. 

Don’t forget Jews!!! I feel weird when I see a list of scapegoats and it doesn’t include me.

 

[onekidanddone]

On 2/28/2018 at 4:14 PM, libgirl2 said:

You know, I really expected better of Derick when he first showed up. I bet Jill did too. 

Look for Derick to crank up the attention grabbing crazy in the next few days.  He can't have Jill's little brother taking the limelight