Dillards 51: Making Play Look Complicated

[Bad Wolf]

They could be eligible for ebil Medicaid.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

29 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

Honestly, I hope Derick DOES leave Jill or she leaves him.  One or the other.  I'm not picky.  Because these two either need SERIOUS counseling from a magical marriage wizard, or this union needs to end.  

I know it's kind of taboo to say "I hope this couple gets a divorce", but I'm at the point in my life where I can see that sometimes, that IS the best outcome you can hope for.  There are MANY worse things that can happen in a home besides a divorce, and in some cases, a divorce is the only way to really avoid things getting to that level.  

This is the Titanic of marriages: ALL the hype and bells and whistles, looked great at first, but we've hit an iceberg now and this ship is sinking fast.  There is NO NEED for Jill and Derick to trap themselves (and Izzy and Sam) on this sinking ship.  The ship has already split in two.  Now the best thing that ALL parties can do is to admit the ship is sinking and to abandon it so as to stay alive. 

These two do not seem to be able to be happy and healthy TOGETHER.  What one needs, the other finds intolerable.  That's just not going to work.  They need separate lives to pursue their own needs.  And while they COULD set up one of those old-timey pre-divorce "long distance marriages" where they are only together for a public showing, it would be better for everyone if they would just rip the band aid off and move on entirely.

No good marriage ever ends in divorce.  But this is obviously NOT a good marriage.  I honestly fear for Jill and the kids, and I wish divorce were an easier option for her.  She needs one, and I'm mad at this bullshit patriarchal system that has trapped her with an asshole like Derick.  

Jim Bob, it's time to put on your big-boy pants and help make this right.  YOU got your daughter into this.  Now you need to eat all the crow you have to to get her out safely.  

 

They’ll never divorce because that invalidates the idea that their courtship model is superior to what non-fundies do.  But I ‘totally’ see Derick being ‘called’ to a long-term mission in a scary area...one he can’t take his family to.  Jill and the boys move back to the TTH and they’ll be back on teevee again.

[TatiFish9]

Home birthing for hours because there is no insurance to cover the hospital costs....

Derrick is not only protecting himself with these rants but he is also justifying Jill who has been unfairly (my opinion) criticized based off partial to no information.

Furthermore, I am calling foul on this one guys. I don't think ANYONE got paid for Jill and Derrick's appearances if he speak a truth.  Could they have been offerred one of those deals where they were told the show was running out of money and they could stay as volunteers and they did to save face, protect family brand or to at least have their trips to SA paid for?  

[JenniferJuniper]

16 minutes ago, AnnaRuk09 said:

Derick is obviously pissed at TLC. And maybe even upset at some of his family, although I highly doubt it. I don't see him writing a tell all or getting completely off the Duggar train because, well, at the end of the day it's his family.

Not so sure I agree that he's not pissed at the in-laws and/or they aren't pissed at him.

I think there are some major issues all around here.  He's turning out not to be a good provider for Jilly Muffin and the grandbabies and he's not really living his dream of traveling the world for baby Jesus.   Jim Bob's financial help is clearly limited,  perhaps more limited than he realized it would be. (pretty dumb on his part - pssst, Derick, JB has 19 kids). 

Oh, and his brother-in-law molested his wife and his in-laws covered for him.  Granted, he'll happily take money from said brother-in-law, but still. 

Dysfunction junction.

[Georgiana]

21 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

My aunt and her husband had that. They lived in two different countries! Yes, they were Catholic. 

Oh man, I was raised in a VERY Catholic home, and I knew couples whose relationship had deteriorated to the point where they only spoke to each other over dinner.  That was it.  If they had things to say, they said them then or held their peace.  

We actually had an issue with my friend's grandma because she had mobility issues, but she would INSIST on always using the downstairs bathroom, even in the middle of the night (which meant she was going down a very narrow and steep stairway).  She and her husband had "areas" of the home.  A room was either his or hers, and neither one would enter or use a room that wasn't "theirs" unless company was over.  Her bathroom was downstairs, his was upstairs, and she REFUSED to use his bathroom.   She also refused to sleep downstairs.  Wouldn't divorce, wouldn't stop sharing a bedroom (what would the neighbors think?!?), and very narrowly avoided serious medical complications from a fall...and FOR WHAT?  For a pat on the back from the Pope?  

She spent most of her adult life in an uneasy truce sharing a home with a man she detested.  I can't help but wonder if it was worth it.  

Just now, Snarkasarus Rex said:

They’ll never divorce because that invalidates the idea that their courtship model is superior to what non-fundies do.  But I ‘totally’ see Derick being ‘called’ to a long-term mission in a scary area...one he can’t take his family to.  Jill and the boys move back to the TTH and they’ll be back on teevee again.

That's what they SAY, but the FIRST golden couple of courtship was Kelly and Peter BRADRICK!....and they have since divorced.  Honestly, Kelly and Peter were a MUCH bigger deal than Jill and Derick, and if they can divorce, any of these couples could.  Plus, the show is very much starting to go in a new direction.  The only way Jill returns to it is likely via divorce now.  In fact, it might be the only thing that saves the show.  

But seriously, if the much touted Bradrick marriage can end, any one of these can.  

[SassyPants]

2 minutes ago, Firebird said:

More speculation, but if Derick promised Jim Bob he would never go into debt, but has huge medical bills from an emergency c section, he may be bitter over that. Especially if he got little to no financial help. Then factoring in that Jessa also would have had a medical birth bill around that time and Ben was an employee of Jim Bob. I wonder if the bitterness is coming from that. Maybe he thinks Jim Bob paid more for Jessa and Ben and less for him and Jill, especially if Jessa's hospital stay was less expensive seeing as she didn't have surgery.

JB/M really set those kids/families up for failure. JB/M worked and saved money for 4 years BEFORE they had kids. They used the evil BC. Michelle had (has?) a real estate license and worked in the family business. They had one disastrous live birth that was so horrific that they qualified for the evil government aide. Aside from JD, none of the 2GD have a sustained work history or advanced education. While some of them might have some skills, it seems they all lack stick-to-it-ism or sustained work effort. To date, their spouses also appear to lack sustained work effort (from those we've seen). When the going got tough for JB, he sold his family to TLC/F-8 for money. JB is opportunistic and slick. JB knows when to Jesus talk and when to shut up. JB knows who butter his bread, but he did not impart these basic wisdoms to his kids, likely because he did not want their competition. His son in-laws are all rather lackluster, no surprise there. 

TL;DR- none of the 2GDs have the selling power that JB has- Jessa is the closest is personality, but she is married to a barely adult man and has 2 young kids, so she too is looking over the abyss.

 

[LurkerOverThePond]

Is it wrong to wish that this all will end with Jim Bob coming crashing down from his high horse?

[JenniferJuniper]

1 minute ago, SassyPants said:

TL;DR- none of the 2GDs have the selling power that JB has- Jessa is the closest is personality, but she is married to a barely adult man and has 2 young kids, so she too is looking over the abyss.

And she's living in Grandma's house on the highway....Husband needs a real job.

[Nowyn]

2 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

Furthermore, I am calling foul on this one guys. I don't think ANYONE got paid for Jill and Derrick's appearances if he speak a truth.  Could they have been offerred one of those deals where they were told the show was running out of money and they could stay as volunteers and they did to save face, protect family brand or to at least have their trips to SA paid for?  

4

I think them not getting paid would open TLC to very bad PR. I can see an agent negotiating for everyone and contract saying that the money would go to common trust fund where everyone would get paid for tax and investment reasons. It might be that the trust fund is not just doled out.

[SapphireSlytherin]

2 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Michelle had (has?) a real estate license and worked in the family business.

Only three Duggars with real estate licenses in Arkansas:

 

https://www.ark.org/arec_renewals/index.php/search/agent 

[SassyPants]

1 minute ago, JenniferJuniper said:

And she's living in Grandma's house on the highway....Husband needs a real job.

Unfortunately, I think she bought GMs house on the hi way.

I remember asking this ? before- Do the Dillards own a home?
 

The Seewalds and Vuolos do. Josh and Anna do.

Joy does.

Do the Dillards? if not, that seems odd-

[Jenn The Heathen]

I’m sorry, but there’s no way that Boob’s cheap, grifting ass would put himself or his family on TV for free.  Either it’s true that he controls all the money or Derick is straight up lying about the whole volunteer thing.

I agree that this is the most entertaining the Duggars have been in forever.  I’m literally Colbert eating popcorn following it all.

[TatiFish9]

1 minute ago, Nowyn said:

I think them not getting paid would open TLC to very bad PR. I can see an agent negotiating for everyone and contract saying that the money would go to common trust fund where everyone would get paid for tax and investment reasons. It might be that the trust fund is not just doled out.

Derrick could be lying. If he's not , his language points to someone (and we - whoever that is) who truly believed no money was being paid for their appearances. If he knew they were getting money then he would not assume TLC was making money off the episode and not giving any to the family for medical costs.

Payment to a family trust is still, payment. 

[VelociRapture]

12 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Unfortunately, I think she bought GMs house on the hi way.

I remember asking this ? before- Do the Dillards own a home?
 

The Seewalds and Vuolos do. Josh and Anna do.

Joy does.

Do the Dillards? if not, that seems odd-

No. They appear to live in housing provided by Cross Church. I don’t believe they own any property.

ETA: And yes, the Seewalds now own the home they live in. It was one of the properties transferred last summer. Same thing happened with the house Amy and Dillon live in - it was owned by Grandma Mary and transfered over to them last summer.

9 minutes ago, Jenn The Heathen said:

I’m sorry, but there’s no way that Boob’s cheap, grifting ass would put himself or his family on TV for free.  Either it’s true that he controls all the money or Derick is straight up lying about the whole volunteer thing.

I agree that this is the most entertaining the Duggars have been in forever.  I’m literally Colbert eating popcorn following it all.

I literally just ate popcorn, while reading through this thread. Now it’s gone and I’m sad. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

@SassyPants - they do not (apparently) own the house (duplex) they are currently living in. I would assume they don't own a house at all.

[Crazy Enough to Join]

I think it's totally BEC to say the Dillards marriage is in trouble just b/c you dislike Derick. There are zero signs of marital trouble. Actually, there are some signs of health i.e. getting off the show and Derick being frustrated for his wife that she was exploited by JB. Seeing Derick feel frustrated on her behalf could be very empowering for Jill and make her realize she deserves better than the childhood she got.

[Nowyn]

5 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

Derrick could be lying. If he's not , his language points to someone (and we - whoever that is) who truly believed no money was being paid for their appearances. If he knew they were getting money then he would not assume TLC was making money off the episode and not giving any to the family for medical costs.

Payment to a family trust is still, payment. 

 

I think he is putting a spin on things. But I don't think he is lying about it all. There seems to be real hurt and anger behind the words.

But there is no way in hell they didn't get paid. But I don't put it past JB to lie about the issue or not just tell they were getting paid.

[AnnaRuk09]

Also, how did Jinger and Jeremy manage to buy a pretty nice house and a new-ish SUV as newlyweds? They had to have gotten paid by someone! Duggar weddings make SERIOUS dough. I doubt they could jump into all that stuff with a pastor's salary. Unless Jeremy saved all his money while playing soccer, but even if he did I would doubt he would've made a fortune off it. 

[SassyPants]

2 minutes ago, AnnaRuk09 said:

Also, how did Jinger and Jeremy manage to buy a pretty nice house and a new-ish SUV as newlyweds? They had to have gotten paid by someone! Duggar weddings make SERIOUS dough. I doubt they could jump into all that stuff with a pastor's salary. Unless Jeremy saved all his money while playing soccer, but even if he did I would doubt he would've made a fortune off it. 

IIRC, the Vuolos have a mortgage on their home- not sure about the others. 

I guess between medical bills and the lack of paying jobs, the Dillards can not really afford to buy a house.

Too bad, so sad!

Why these folks think that they do not need to actually work for about 40 years (for most people) to support themselves and their spawn, is beyond my neurological scope of reasoning.

[marmalade]

33 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Can't imagine the hospital bills his unemployed ass is getting as a result of Sam's birth and Nicu stay.  Wonder if the Dillards are on the Samaritan Christian Insurance Plan? 

This is all in reference to Izzy's birth. He talked about how "they" made oodles of money off of it. They were no longer filming with TLC when Sammy was born.

[VineHeart137]

3 minutes ago, AnnaRuk09 said:

Also, how did Jinger and Jeremy manage to buy a pretty nice house and a new-ish SUV as newlyweds? They had to have gotten paid by someone! Duggar weddings make SERIOUS dough. I doubt they could jump into all that stuff with a pastor's salary. Unless Jeremy saved all his money while playing soccer, but even if he did I would doubt he would've made a fortune off it. 

As first time home buyers JinJer most likely qualified for an FHA loan or some other first time buyer program, which doesn't require a large down payment. 

[TatiFish9]

5 minutes ago, Nowyn said:

 

I think he is putting a spin on things. But I don't think he is lying about it all. There seems to be real hurt and anger behind the words.

But there is no way in hell they didn't get paid. But I don't put it past JB to lie about the issue or not just tell they were getting paid.

Something does not add up. How does one doop roughly 10 adults into believing they're not getting paid, when they are? 

If the family trust is receiving money for the episode, then Derrick knows this and he petitions (and subsequently blames) Jim Bob for the lack of cash, not TLC.

It's either a lie or a criminal offense. 

Something is foul in the state of AR (or wherever TLC is based)...

[Season of life...]

I wouldn't be surprised if all of the money goes into a family trust controlled by Jim Bob. Dangling money over someone's head and withholding affection if someone steps out of line are powerful tools for control. I try not to completely speculate (ha!), but I can say with confidence that Jim Bob definitely loves having control. 

He may love his kids, but they are employees, and have been since they were small children. Baby-sitters, cooks, housekeepers, construction work etc.--free labor of all sorts that went above and beyond the normal chores that could be expected of children doing their part for their family. 

The kids are known by their birth order. The grandchildren are given numbers. They are "volunteers" in the family business because he probably doles out enough for them to have some nice perks and all the premium chocolate milk Jill can drink. They were raised not to question Jim Bob's authority--his temper has been mentioned on the show--and I'm sure everyone likes to keep Pops happy. The kids have little true education, and even learning to be a pilot is done under the auspices of the family business. His standard of living relies on his kids continuing to be clown cars for Jesus.

If it's good for Jim Bob, it's good for the business. His "ministry" is about keeping a fat wallet--no way would he let any of his kids have any say in the empire he has built and created on their backs. I can understand why the kids, and spouses, would allow themselves to remain under his thumb--it's all they know, and they have never been allowed to dream any dreams other than those Jim Bob allows. They probably feel safe and taken care of, and they mostly are as long as they continue to play by Jim Bob's rules.

Derick didn't. He took the golden girl to Central America, discovered twitter and posted opinions that reflected badly on the Duggar brand, and alienated TLC and has been jettisoned from the show. The Dillards are no longer contributors to the family coffers, and their value has declined. Who knows how they are treated behind the curtains, but I bet Jill has lost some status and knows it.

Long ramble is, of course, just my opinion.

[SapphireSlytherin]

8 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

IIRC, the Vuolos have a mortgage on their home- not sure about the others. 

But one still has to have a decent income to secure a mortgage.

[nst]

17 hours ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

JB also should have changed the diapers of his 19 kids himself rather than making Jill do it. But he didn't, did he? I personally find it 100% believable that JB has been keeping all the money and not sharing with the married kids. As to why the married kids would keep appearing, maybe just to please their parents?

I honestly think now things have reached rock bottom for Derick and this is what will break the camel. .