Dillards 51: Making Play Look Complicated

[TatiFish9]

30 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

But again, maybe he was promised to be taken care of? 

 

I believe he was promised something. It was most likely put in his ear that being on the show would boost his overseas ministry and provide him Duggars connection. He was definitely expecting some sort of profit even if not direct monetary gain.

He probably never calculated what having children and being Jill's spouse meant overall because he puts his own goals first and foremost. I do believe the outcomes blind sided him.

Now he's not getting what he truly wanted, his overseas mission, so he is acting out. In the processes, he's pulling down family curtains.

These kids are probably being pimped more than we ever expected. Smh...

...if this info is accurate.

31 minutes ago, hasunah said:

Of course he has issues . He wanted to be a missionary and was looking for a missionary  companion and then ended up with an uneducated  grown up child who can't be left alone for 5 minutes .  He feels cheated , Jill too . She followed all the rules and expected to be blessed with a fairy tale marriage . Neither got what they were hoping for .

So true.

Welcome to the world kiddos. This happens to couples everyday. 

Reality smacks us all in the face at some point. It's what they do with it that counts. I said up thread this is probably the best thing that happened to this couple. I wish they would step away from the family control. They can do it with two kids. Many have done it with more and less fame backing them.

He can keep his university job working with international students and Jill can go back to school and become an actual midwife. If they stop at two ninos, they have even better chances of making it work, getting good benefits and being self sufficient.

The way to break systemic control of people, places and organizations is self sufficiency. They better take a tip from Anna.  "What to do when you have to pick your shattered dreams off the floor of Life?" She returned, but they don't have to, so long as they accept that this is happening and they have a choice.

[SapphireSlytherin]

I'm beginning to think that whatever fallout happens from Derick's (perceived) meltdown will be a very nasty, very public, very eye-opening family confrontation -- whether via social media or a paparazzo's camera/microphone. 

Derick and Jessa:  Throwdown at the Thrift Store - makes a good headline, no?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I think Derick has realized what a mistake it was marrying Jill and is feeling cornered like a rabid animal and is lashing out. I can honestly see him leaving Jill and the boys in a year or so, he is quite clearly miserable and can't find a healthy way to deal with it, since he's all pray the "what ever" away and you'll be fine.  Only problem he can't pray they away, God isn't going to make him fall back in love with Jill, I also wonder if he isn't having a huge faith crisis right now, he 's clinging so tightly either out of fear that he really isn't buying into this crap anymore but is to scared to let it go.  What ever is going on with him he's in a bad place, what he really needs to do is just get off social media, get his wife and kids away from the TV cameras, get a real job and just focus on the 4 of them, get some therapy, even Christian therapy would be of some help to him.

[VelociRapture]

I don’t even know how to react to this. It’s highly entertaining and I do hope this somehow damages the family brand, but still. Something is clearly bothering him and I really hope he finds a healthy way to deal with any emotions he’s feeling right now. I don’t imagine outbursts like this are going to do anything positive for Jill or their kids. 

[HereticHick]

1 hour ago, karen77 said:

So, maybe he's getting around saying TLC paid them because the production company is who pays them, and TLC buys the shows from that company?? 

Doesn't explain the People mag stuff. And not to say that the production company isn't paying a trust instead also.

I think this is very plausible.  The production company, Figure 8 Films, may hand out the money, not TLC: https://www.figure8films.tv/

[CaricatureQualities]

If these married grown-ups with kids of their own are letting their pay for a show that's all about them go entirely to JB or a family trust he controls, they really are brainwashed and this really is a cult.

All I can think of when I read D'Wreck's comments about TLC not helping out with the hospital bills etc...is 'But God was supposed provide somehow'...

From vacuum cleaners to houses to NICU stays, JB and Michelle credit everything that has ever worked out for them as as God intervening to make a way for it all to work out. He always whispers in someone's ear or lays in on somebody's heart to help them in just the way they need! Which is wonderful because it means you don't really need to worry about if your plan for life is actually viable. Just be instantly obedient to God's promptings (that voice in your head, just make sure it isn't Satan, that fucker does a good impression, but you'll know), maybe flip a coin and then just pray for the best. Then go ahead and counsel others to adopt this approach for their lives because how could it go wrong.

It has to be a let down for the Dillards to realize that people have to adjust to life, life doesn't always adjust to people. People have to make plans, suffer letdowns, adjust, make new plans, adapt, sometimes question their way of life and change it. Were they really prepared for the possibility that things just wouldn't go their way or work out how they hoped. And that if something unforeseen happens to them that their community, family, TLC, fans, media...whatever, wont always be able to make it better for them because God told them to. I really don't think they were.

You would think they would start to see the danger in a belief system that is clearly not working for them and could not realistically work out for most people. But they will blame anyone and everything they can for the harsh blows reality deals them before they start to question or blame their own system of beliefs.

[ElToro]

I agree but I can't blame Jill for staying within the financial security of the family set up-even into her twenties. A lot of us do.

For them, it's hard enough that they trusted TLC/the production company and were 'let down'. Worse- if Boob has been keeping all the cash, it must be awful to come to the realisation that the man- who was supposed to love you, and look out for you and 'protect' you- is actually a huge shimmering prick.

[Rachel333]

2 hours ago, TatiFish9 said:

Then there is one final question that remains, if they're not making money off the show, why the heebs are they still on it??? All the grief can't be worth it.

Attention? I can imagine that would be hard to give up when you're used to being famous.

[JenniferJuniper]

5 minutes ago, CaricatureQualities said:

It has to be a let down for the Dillards to realize that people have to adjust to life, life doesn't always adjust to people. People have to make plans, suffer letdowns, adjust, make new plans, adapt, sometimes question their way of life and change it. Were they really prepared for the possibility that things just wouldn't go their way or work out how they hoped. And that if something unforeseen happens to them that their community, family, TLC, fans, media...whatever, wont always be able to make it right for them because God told them to.

Ha.  The Duggars should have been reading out here all these years.  We told them this would happen sooner or later!

[Nowyn]

6 minutes ago, CaricatureQualities said:

If these married grown-ups with kids of their own are letting their pay for a show that's all about them go entirely to JB or a family trust he controls, they really are brainwashed and this really is a cult.

All I can think of when I read D'Wreck's comments about TLC not helping out with the hospital bills etc...is 'But God was supposed provide somehow'...

From vacuum cleaners to houses to NICU stays, JB and Michelle credit everything that has ever worked out for them as as God intervening to make a ways for it all to work out. He always whispers in someone's ear or lays in on somebody's heart to help them in just the way they need! Which is wonderful because it means you don't really need to worry about if your plan for life is actually viable. Just be instantly obedient to God's promptings (that voice in your head, just make sure it isn't Satan, that fucker does a good impression, but you'll know), maybe flip a coin and then just pray for the best. Then go ahead and counsel others to adopt this approach for their lives because how could it go wrong.

It has to be a let down for the Dillards to realize that people have to adjust to life, life doesn't always adjust to people. People have to make plans, suffer letdowns, adjust, make new plans, adapt, sometimes question their way of life and change it. Were they really prepared for the possibility that things just wouldn't go their way or work out how they hoped. And that if something unforeseen happens to them that their community, family, TLC, fans, media...whatever, wont always be able to make it right for them because God told them to.

I am convinced they are. We can put it any way we want but they remain brainwashed.
I have been checking/reading/watching things about cults lately. It started with the Women Behind the Massacre about Jonestown. 
I can see similarities. One of the main ones is that people pretend they believe things so strongly that they attest too much. I might be projecting here but I see it in Duggars. 

[Satan'sFortress]

16 minutes ago, CaricatureQualities said:

 

All I can think of when I read D'Wreck's comments about TLC not helping out with the hospital bills etc...is 'But God was supposed provide somehow'...

Was thinking along the same lines, but with an actual question for fundie experts, or anyone on FJ who may actually have the belief that God directs everything . . .

The Duggars et al seem to believe that God has a plan, that he "has something in store" for all of us.  So when you are blessed with 19 kids, it means God favors you and you are rewarded.  So, what does it mean when life shits all over you? Dead dad, cancer mom, tough births, medical problems, frugly man bun, sick baby . . . does it mean that God is punishing you? Or would they say that God is doing it for a reason that we don't understand?  How do you know when God is punishing you versus when he is using you for some higher purpose?

I notice this all the time with certain religious people--everything from 1) the kids who were not hurt during the Florida school shooting "God must have had a purpose for them to save them." But what about the ones who died or were wounded?  I'll bet their parents prayed, too! to 2) Eagles QB saying that the Superbowl was all in God's plan and for him to decide.  So, if the Patriots had won, he would have joyfully accepted that as God's desire?

[nastyhobbitses]

6 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

Remember what Derick said after Sam's birth: "Two is for quitters!" Which is weird since Derdick himself is one of two kids.

Men as misogynistic as Derick are never aware when they're insulting their own mothers. 

[Georgiana]

Honestly, I hope Derick DOES leave Jill or she leaves him.  One or the other.  I'm not picky.  Because these two either need SERIOUS counseling from a magical marriage wizard, or this union needs to end.  

I know it's kind of taboo to say "I hope this couple gets a divorce", but I'm at the point in my life where I can see that sometimes, that IS the best outcome you can hope for.  There are MANY worse things that can happen in a home besides a divorce, and in some cases, a divorce is the only way to really avoid things getting to that level.  

This is the Titanic of marriages: ALL the hype and bells and whistles, looked great at first, but we've hit an iceberg now and this ship is sinking fast.  There is NO NEED for Jill and Derick to trap themselves (and Izzy and Sam) on this sinking ship.  The ship has already split in two.  Now the best thing that ALL parties can do is to admit the ship is sinking and to abandon it so as to stay alive. 

These two do not seem to be able to be happy and healthy TOGETHER.  What one needs, the other finds intolerable.  That's just not going to work.  They need separate lives to pursue their own needs.  And while they COULD set up one of those old-timey pre-divorce "long distance marriages" where they are only together for a public showing, it would be better for everyone if they would just rip the band aid off and move on entirely.

No good marriage ever ends in divorce.  But this is obviously NOT a good marriage.  I honestly fear for Jill and the kids, and I wish divorce were an easier option for her.  She needs one, and I'm mad at this bullshit patriarchal system that has trapped her with an asshole like Derick.  

Jim Bob, it's time to put on your big-boy pants and help make this right.  YOU got your daughter into this.  Now you need to eat all the crow you have to to get her out safely.  

Jill, hun, ANYONE can buy you chocolate milk and make you sad-sack dinners.  Come to my house.  I'll put choco milk on the grocery list, and I usually make enough dinner for two anyway.  This is basic, easy stuff and you deserve SO MUCH MORE.  Believe in yourself and your worth.  That's not dictated or impacted by your marriage status.  

[singsingsing]

5 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

The Duggars et al seem to believe that God has a plan, that he "has something in store" for all of us.  So when you are blessed with 19 kids, it means God favors you and you are rewarded.  So, what does it mean when life shits all over you? Dead dad, cancer mom, tough births, medical problems, frugly man bun, sick baby . . . does it mean that God is punishing you? Or would they say that God is doing it for a reason that we don't understand?  How do you know when God is punishing you versus when he is using you for some higher purpose?

For people they don't like: God is punishing them. For themselves: Satan is attacking them.

[libgirl2]

7 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Was thinking along the same lines, but with an actual question for fundie experts, or anyone on FJ who may actually have the belief that God directs everything . . .

The Duggars et al seem to believe that God has a plan, that he "has something in store" for all of us.  So when you are blessed with 19 kids, it means God favors you and you are rewarded.  So, what does it mean when life shits all over you? Dead dad, cancer mom, tough births, medical problems, frugly man bun, sick baby . . . does it mean that God is punishing you? Or would they say that God is doing it for a reason that we don't understand?  How do you know when God is punishing you versus when he is using you for some higher purpose?

I notice this all the time with certain religious people--everything from 1) the kids who were not hurt during the Florida school shooting "God must have had a purpose for them to save them." But what about the ones who died or were wounded?  I'll bet their parents prayed, too! to 2) Eagles QB saying that the Superbowl was all in God's plan and for him to decide.  So, if the Patriots had won, he would have joyfully accepted that as God's desire?

I always hate that. While it might be fun to think He watches football, I'm sure God has more important things to deal with. And he wouldn't make one team win over another!!!! 

[singsingsing]

Just now, libgirl2 said:

I always hate that. While it might be fun to think He watches football, I'm sure God has more important things to deal with. And he wouldn't make one team win over another!!!! 

[TatiFish9]

38 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I think this is very plausible.  The production company, Figure 8 Films, may hand out the money, not TLC: https://www.figure8films.tv/

This does not explain his People article comment or his use of the word volunteer to explain their appearances on the actual show.

[libgirl2]

1 minute ago, singsingsing said:

that is a good one! Or maybe He is more of a tennis fan? 

[Nowyn]

10 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Was thinking along the same lines, but with an actual question for fundie experts, or anyone on FJ who may actually have the belief that God directs everything . . .

The Duggars et al seem to believe that God has a plan, that he "has something in store" for all of us.  So when you are blessed with 19 kids, it means God favors you and you are rewarded.  So, what does it mean when life shits all over you? Dead dad, cancer mom, tough births, medical problems, frugly man bun, sick baby . . . does it mean that God is punishing you? Or would they say that God is doing it for a reason that we don't understand?  How do you know when God is punishing you versus when he is using you for some higher purpose?

1

As far I have gathered with my years here is that it is exactly what they think. Duggars and Bateses seem to gloss over this as much as they can but there are some signs.

10 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

Jim Bob, it's time to put on your big-boy pants and help make this right.  YOU got your daughter into this.  Now you need to eat all the crow you have to to get her out safely.  

 

I think his big boys pants wearing mouth would do the exact opposite...

[libgirl2]

12 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

These two do not seem to be able to be happy and healthy TOGETHER.  What one needs, the other finds intolerable.  That's just not going to work.  They need separate lives to pursue their own needs.  And while they COULD set up one of those old-timey pre-divorce "long distance marriages" where they are only together for a public showing, it would be better for everyone if they would just rip the band aid off and move on entirely.

 

My aunt and her husband had that. They lived in two different countries! Yes, they were Catholic. 

[AnnaRuk09]

Everyone knows the Duggars as a family that has incredibly strong and strict values and convictions. I've always questioned why they put those births on TV. How is that modest?? People that come to their defense state that the show is their ministry. Umm...no it is not. At the end of the day, it's a business deal. The show has almost nothing to do with pointing people to god. Instead, it has has everything to do with the exploitation of your spouse, children, courtships/weddings, birth of a child, family scandal, etc. for $$$. It was gross how TLC was ok with putting the family on TV for profit after something like what Anna went through. But it was even more gross that most of the family agreed to it - IMO. 

Derick is obviously pissed at TLC. And maybe even upset at some of his family, although I highly doubt it. I don't see him writing a tell all or getting completely off the Duggar train because, well, at the end of the day it's his family. Even (F)Amy has lines that she does not cross on what she reveals to the public. I sometimes get impression that perhaps he thought he was going to be financially blessed and well-off as a famous person after marrying a Duggar but has realized that it will never be like that. To him it was TLC that were supposed to be the ones that compensate and bless him but he's now making clear, even to the public, that they're a bunch of greedy bastards. I do wonder what TLC will do, if anything, to respond to this.

[Firebird]

Just a thought, I don't know if anyone else mentioned it, but was all the grifting while in central America really to cover unpaid hospital bills? Maybe that's why they weren't disclosing where the money went?

[marmalade]

3 hours ago, Bajovane said:

 Derick is saying he and Jill never received payment for their part in TLC? 

Yup. He claims they were "volunteers." I have the tweet screenshot,but not enough memory to upload it. 

[SassyPants]

Can't imagine the hospital bills his unemployed ass is getting as a result of Sam's birth and Nicu stay.  Wonder if the Dillards are on the Samaritan Christian Insurance Plan? 

[Firebird]

More speculation, but if Derick promised Jim Bob he would never go into debt, but has huge medical bills from an emergency c section, he may be bitter over that. Especially if he got little to no financial help. Then factoring in that Jessa also would have had a medical birth bill around that time and Ben was an employee of Jim Bob. I wonder if the bitterness is coming from that. Maybe he thinks Jim Bob paid more for Jessa and Ben and less for him and Jill, especially if Jessa's hospital stay was less expensive seeing as she didn't have surgery.