Joy and Austin 19: 273 Days After the Wedding Gideon Arrived

[Emkay]

27 minutes ago, RubyRei said:

Not necessarily making assumptions about anyone on here, but do ya ever notice that it is HEALTHY and WEALTHY people who have this wonderfully doe-eyed notion that if everyone pays for their own healthcare the world will be a sparkly, shiny, rainbow place?

I feel like people don’t understand that it takes one car crash, one genetic disorder, one tick bite, one ACCIDENT, no matter how rich you are, to shred your well-being physically, mentally, and financially, to pieces.  

Yup, this. Sorry, this is going to be long, but here goes: have a family member who was a mostly-SAHM, husband made good money (about five figures went into the checking account each month, the rest was his), had kids in the most affluent school district, etc etc etc. Got divorced, he claims the company isn’t making money. She got screwed in the settlement (he’s abuseive, she has mental health issues and I think he threatened to bring up her female ‘best friend’ in court in a VERY conservative area, not to mention her FOO are very ‘appearance’- oriented people), and he’s giving her about $30k a year in alimony- god forbid she might have to WORK! Kept renting places that were $1500/+, 3+ bedrooms, until she finally realized she couldn’t afford that (her parents are *still* helping her with rent so that she can afford a 2-bedroom place). 

 

THEN, she gets into an auto accident. No-fault state, she was driving a car that had only liability coverage, ended up owing $250k+ in hospital bills because she ‘couldn’t afford ObamaCare.’ She’s bitching and moaning because she ‘doesn’t have the money,’ and they’re only dropping the bills 30-40% for cash pay. Swears she still can’t afford insurance. 

 

Think she’s finally realized that people, through no fault of their own, sometimes have things happen to them that drastically change the course of their life and that safety nets/support systems are a good thing? God, no, she’s still ranting against Obamacare, Obama, Hillary and every other Democrat. We’ve avoided talking about Trump, thank goodness. Her daughter is anti-ACA, and the daughter and her husband are ‘heritage, not hate’ people- who have a black SIL and biracial niece/nephew. The ignorance is astounding. 

[VelociRapture]

I’ve mentioned this several times before, but our daughter’s week in NICU ($65,000-$70,000) combined with my hospital bill for the delivery (~$22,000 including the epidural) would have virtually wiped us out without insurance - not just our HSA, but our savings account and retirement funds too. That isn’t even counting the prenatal care I received. Adding in the prenatal care may very well have bankrupt us entirely.

My husband is a Manager at a Public Accounting firm. He makes pretty good money and works ridiculously hard. We own our own home and our mortgage is our only debt because I worked hard to pay off my student loans prior to marriage (and was fortunate to be able to live rent free with my parents for 3 years after graduating.) Yet we still would have been wiped out by the completely unexpected premature birth of our child had we not been fortunate enough to have insurance. I can only imagine the type of devastation this situation could have caused for families not as well off as us - having to deal with the stress of a NICU stay, while mourning the unexpected end of your pregnancy AND having to worry about how to pay for the care your child needs... I don’t even want to imagine what that’s like because it’s horrible.

Its inexcusable that America, the nation that claims it’s the greatest  on earth, treats health and wellness as a commodity to be bought and sold. Especially when it concerns innocent children, who have no say in how or where or to whom they are born.

As for maternity leave, it’s also inexcusable that new mothers are expected to go right back to work while still recovering from childbirth - some while suffering from PPD, PPA, sleep deprivation, or any number of complications that can happen. My sister is a public school teacher who had no choice but to return to work after six weeks because they couldn’t afford for her to take unpaid leave. She was so ridiculously  sleep deprived that she ended up crashing her car while driving home on the highway shortly after returning to work. Thank God she was going so slow, thank God her son wasn’t in the car with her, and thank God she wasn’t hurt or killed. It could have been so much worse than a busted up car. But the fact that she was ever put into a position where her health and safety were risked because our leave policies in the states sucks so badly infuriates me.

[feministxtian]

my husband got sick, I'm talking sick. He didn't have cancer, but he got SICK...numerous hospitalizations, ER visits, etc. He was threatened with termination from his job for missing so much time. Thank GOD the company he worked for had decent disability insurance. So, his doctor finally wrote him out of work. Overnight our combined income decreased by 1/4. There were thousands of dollars in medical bills (after insurance) that we just flat couldn't pay. They STILL are fucking with our credit. 

Then, about 3 years ago, the shit hit the fan. I got laid off from a job that I had moved, on my own dime for. We managed to string things together until the very end of the lease on the house...it finally came to where we couldn't pay the rent anymore. Fortunately, the landlord let us go w/o any repercussions. BUT, this is how that ended up. Hubby ended up staying in a shelter and I ended up in our SUV with our 2 cats. Thank God he is a veteran and was eligible for certain programs that provided him medical care and housing for both of us. He also took advantage of a vocational retraining program funded by federal grants. So, because of all these things, in 18 months we were able to get off assistance. He still gets his medical care from the VA (which, the VA is EXCELLENT here in LV) and his prescriptions. Because we make over a certain amount of money, we have to pay a co-pay for his prescriptions, about 200 bucks every three months (his prescriptions run 6-7 grand a month, insulin ain't cheap)

So...to the bitch above who continued to further the idiocy of "American Supremacy"....fuck you. If we lived in any other first world country, we wouldn't have owed the tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills. We probably would not have ended up split up in a shelter and an SUV. We probably wouldn't have gone hungry because we couldn't get SNAP because our rent was so low as a percentage of income. This is NOT the "land of the free and the home of the brave"...it's a fucking banana republic that's sinking fast. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

Healthcare:  I was diagnosed with cancer in November 2005. I had a high-deductible health plan. That was $7,000 out of pocket just for the deductible. There was another $3,500 that "was not covered" for whatever reason the insurance company decided. In January 2006, one of the drugs they were giving me (you know, one of those drugs to TREAT CANCER) gave me a blood clot. That's another $7,000 out of pocket just two months later. Then I had to have a surgery to remove my ovaries because the drug that caused my blood clot was shutting down my ovaries to prevent the estrogen from fueling any stray cancer cells that might have been floating around in my body. The time off work and the extra $$$ that was required because the insurance decided certain things weren't covered cost us another $6,000 by the end of June. The following February, I had the first of a series of six surgeries. Again, the $7,000 deductible, and - in this instance - another $19,000 (no, that's not a typo) in disallowed charges, non-covered prescriptions, etc.

Have you been keeping track? That's almost $50,000 dollars in just 15 months. And that's just for the hospital. That doesn't count parking fees ($20/day in the hospital where I was treated), unpaid time off for DH because he'd used all his sick time and PTO to take care of me, my unpaid time off because I was out of sick leave and PTO...

And back then, we were NOT well-off. We were struggling to get by. We had a kid in a private high school (we had no choice about that, because of where we live), we were paying mortgages on two houses because our buyers of house #1 backed out 15 minutes before closing, and we had a car payment because our two hoopties had died and we had to finance it because we had NO savings. Our air conditioner died, our stove died, we had to put a new roof on our house. All the hits just kept coming.

We almost went bankrupt. We almost lost our house (luckily the other one sold, finally, but we made a whopping $85 on that sale and I'm not exaggerating). We live in the "best country in the world" though, right?  W.R.O.N.G.

 

 

[viii]

I honestly cannot even imagine. The only real complaint I have is the wait time with hospitals but at least it’s all free. 

[Iamtheway]

On 2018-02-24 at 2:01 AM, rainbowbabycakes said:

I work in daycare, and we regularly have 6 weekers... It's tough.

I’ve already done my taxloving, socialist rant a couple of times here so I’ll spare you. But I just want to say I think it’s horrible that people feel forced to leave their 6 week old to be taken care of by strangers. That is so little. 

In Sweden daycare is only open for kids that have turned 1. And I think that’s good. We have parental leave enough for that to work though. 

And I’m in no way against mums working (if they want to). I started working when Miniway was 3 months old. Two very flexible hours a day, from home, while my student husband had the baby. And that was only because I wanted to help out at work while supplementing our income and save some parantal days. Miniway started daycare at 2,5 years and we still had so many days left that we struggled to take them all before they expired when he turned 4 (yesterday!).

I love our system and hate the people here that doesn’t understand how good we have it and are trying (and succeding) in tearing it all down. But from an American standpoint I am pretty far left though. 

Actually had an argument with a gunloving American last week and he called me a lefty as an insult. Me (not at all insulted): ”I’m so far left that you can’t even imagine there is that much left.”

[CaricatureQualities]

Honestly, your tales of woe concerning health and wealth scare the beJesus right out of me for real! Healthcare is not an easy system for any country to get right and every system has its problems. It is the duty of citizens to criticize the system so that the problems can be identified and the system can be made better. In Nova Scotia right now there is a doctor shortage....there are just not enough of them here and the ones who are have a lot of fatigue from having so many patients. This is a problem here and of course there is complaining about it....it is not perfect. But there is not a day that goes by that I don't find a reason to be great-full that I live here, and thankful to have the healthcare system we do. 

A friend of mine is studying to become and endocrinologist  in Newfoundland and I asked her where she wanted to go when she was done and she said she'd like to practice on the east coast of Canada...but she also wants to be at a bigger medical centre for the learning opportunities etc. so she'll probably go out west as there are not necessarily going to be openings here (see, we just can't hold on to doctors and specialists). I asked her if she would consider working in the States for a while and she said that while it might be a good learning experience she just felt she could not do it because the way the system is would break her heart. She wants to work with kids and she said a lot of her job, besides diagnosing, is work is social...to work with families to figure out a treatment plan...how to pay for that, transport, way of life etc. And she said in the U.S. she wouldn't be able to do that and the futility of it all would just break her. 

Also have friends that live in California and, after their child was born and had a NICU stay of like 2 days, got a bill for like $50 000. I honestly had no idea it cost so much money just to have a baby (NICU or not)!  She is quick to mention how lucky they are to 1)be in California and 2) that her husband works at Google and that company policies and insurance protect them and take care of them quite well. She is extremely aware that this is not the case for most people in the country.

[mango_fandango]

I would absolutely hate it if I or a relative was seriously ill and I had to pay $$$ on top of all the worry. Insurance covers a lot, but you still have to pay some of it. That’s crazy town to me. When Dad was ill he was hospitalised for three weeks, and has ongoing treatment at home and regular checks/clinics etc. He’ll need a transplant soon (kidney). Thank God my mother didn’t have to worry about paying for anything! 

To make things trickier, Dad is self-employed, and Mum doesn’t work (by choice). So he’d have to pay for health insurance, which would cover some of the medical costs, as well as pay anything the insurance doesn’t cover. That is madness!! 

The NHS is in a shit state right now but I’m bloody grateful for it.

[candygirl200413]

So I'm forever grateful that I'm still on my parents health insurance for another two years (a literal thanks obama!). I had that bleeding toe fiasco which cost 1700$. After insurance was dealt with, my mom out of pocket only had to pay $30.I honestly felt so grateful but so sad how everyday people can't afford this. I took a health insurance course in undergrad and we watched a special I think from pbs about our system, NHS and NHI and although there's had some issues, it was so obvious we were doing something wrong with ours and it needed some type of overhall. Like disgustly obvious.

[feministxtian]

and @StepMonsterInLA if you want to open your big fucking mouth and be all patriotic and shit, why don't you talk to my son, who at 21 was fighting a war in fucking Iraq for your beloved Shrub and his precious oil. Why don't you talk to him about the TBI? About the GI issues he has after your boy Saddam lit the oil wells on fire and our soldiers were breathing and eating that shit? How about the PTSD he has after removing dead preschoolers from a school where the bad guys decided it was a wonderful target? 

Talk to my husband who's pancreatitis may be related to his Naval service? Talk to my DEAD father about the suffering he had before he died because he was working with hazardous materials before OSHA. You and your ilk want to go back to those days. 

If you want to talk about medical care, the lack of the ability to take leave from a job for disability or family matters, then why don't you pay me the 40 grand I lost out on taking care of my husband and mother. Why don't you pay my husband the lost wages from having to go on disability? Why don't you step up and pay the 7 grand a month it takes to keep him alive? FUCK YOU!

ETA:  I'll say it to your face...FUCK YOU. Fuck your privilege. Fuck your arrogance. And Fuck your "christianity". Just get the fuck off my planet. The world is better off with less of you people in it. 

Yeah...I'm goddamn pissed. 

[Sky with diamonds]

Not to sound creepy, but I'd like to hug some of you who have went through, or have family who went through difficult health issues. I thank you for being so open about it.

[RubyRei]

My heart breaks for every single human who has to worry about pieces of shitty green fabric when all they should be worrying about is their health, the health of their loved ones, feeling okay and alive and as happy and healthy as possible. 

Im sorry for everyone who has had to struggle through this. It isn’t right. 

My sorries do about as much as “thoughts and prayers,” but they’re still there. From someone who understands some things and can’t even fathom other things y’all have gone through: I’m sorry and I just wish you guys nothing but the best. 

Agreements and disagreents, we are all humans and deserve these basic, basic rights to health. 

[Sky with diamonds]

8 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Thank you for saving me a trip to the prayer closet, you are right sometimes being speechless says it all. 

I'm biting my tongue in trying not to reply to a certain post. So I will leave hearts and virtual hugs so the posters know I support them even a little bit. 

[Firebird]

I have a family member who is finally able to live on her own after some abusive relationships with the help of government assistance. She can get the mental health help she needs so she can be stable while getting her degree in linguistics. She's working so hard to get her life on track, and without the assistance from the government I don't know where she'd be. I had to learn that my opinions about government healthcare weren't necessarily correct. I had to swallow my pride when my husband had to go on Medicaid in-between jobs so that we could afford his insulin. I realize I have been overly judgemental and while I still don't know fully what I believe anymore, I can understand that people need help and having systems in place to help people is a whole lot better than letting people suffer. Basically I keep my mouth shut and interject only to share my circumstances so maybe people understand that there is no cookie cutter solution to fix the problem.

[HermioneSparrow]

I honestly think the U.S. healthcare system (and other stuff) honestly sucks, i would be very scared to live in a country where there's no free healthcare. 

Sure, you guys have a great country in many ways but not so great in others, at this point the world kinda sucks though.. I had to emigrate from a country run by a communist dictator where the minimum wage is 3 effin dollars, where public hospitals ARE NOT working, there's no medicines or treatments for any disease and you can literally die of a small cut in your finger, where there's no classes 3 days a week in the public schools cause 60% of the population emigrated already, where the hyperinflation is the highest worldwide, where there is the 2nd most dangerous city in the world and Trump is making threats to my country all the time. Still, the U.S. is going downhill too.. Reason why I left my country for Argentina, a third world country with FREE healthcare.

*I know i'm not from North America so sorry if I say something stupid.

[Dr. Fundie Stalker]

On 2018-02-24 at 6:06 PM, SassyPants said:

Do you believe that Josh has independently supported his family, entirely on his own and with zero financial support from JB, for the last 9 years?

O no way Josh supported the family. I think Anna may have become daughter status almost now or at the very least her kids have till the boys reach marriage. Jim Bob isn't stupid. I wonder what he is doing to make Josh solvent. He was smart  and very lucky with that radio tower property on which  Josh and Anna are now residing. Ok. Now I get it..... I think I missed some threads during the property shift that happened a while ago.

[Glasgowghirl]

Josh had money from the show plus he was running two car lots until he moved to Washington. He was living in his grandmother's house so was not paying a lot on rent or mortgage but he would have been fine financially. Did Jim Bob help him yes but he still done enough himself.

[shock928]

I don't have any answers in regards to the US health are system other than it needs some fixing.

I had a 2,000 dollar deductible through my husband's last employer.

When I had Baby 1, I paid 10,000 out of pocket to a birth center to have the baby. Well I began hemorrhaging, and needed emergency transport and for my life to be saved at a hospital. I needed about 4 bags of blood - cost of about 2,000 per bag. I mean- what was I going to say WAIT I can't afford for you to save my life. That ended up about 65,000 total. I paid 10,000 plus emergency transport 1,500 plus a 2,000 deductible. Grand total out of pocket 13,500.

Baby 2 uncomplicated birth- 25,000. I paid 2,000 out of pocket.

Baby 3 another hemmorhage. Roughly 40,000. I paid 2,000 out of pocket.

3 childbirths...  135,000. My husband works hard, we cannot afford day care for3 so I stay home. We don't live above our means... And That's more than my house costs. Thank God I had health insurance at the time. Now, my husband is in between jobs...and I cannot afford it. The lowest price I've been quoted is 300 per month, and us both without jobs I can't afford it. I pay for my kids to have health insurance right now instead but I can't afford for our whole family, and I think there's something wrong with that.

Time is ticking down for joys baby! I sincerely hope she goes to the hospital for this first birth and everything goes smooth. We have past her due date right?

[VelociRapture]

28 minutes ago, shock928 said:

I don't have any answers in regards to the US health are system other than it needs some fixing.

I had a 2,000 dollar deductible through my husband's last employer.

When I had Baby 1, I paid 10,000 out of pocket to a birth center to have the baby. Well I began hemorrhaging, and needed emergency transport and for my life to be saved at a hospital. I needed about 4 bags of blood - cost of about 2,000 per bag. I mean- what was I going to say WAIT I can't afford for you to save my life. That ended up about 65,000 total. I paid 10,000 plus emergency transport 1,500 plus a 2,000 deductible. Grand total out of pocket 13,500.

Baby 2 uncomplicated birth- 25,000. I paid 2,000 out of pocket.

Baby 3 another hemmorhage. Roughly 40,000. I paid 2,000 out of pocket.

3 childbirths...  135,000. My husband works hard, we cannot afford day care for3 so I stay home. We don't live above our means... And That's more than my house costs. Thank God I had health insurance at the time. Now, my husband is in between jobs...and I cannot afford it. The lowest price I've been quoted is 300 per month, and us both without jobs I can't afford it. I pay for my kids to have health insurance right now instead but I can't afford for our whole family, and I think there's something wrong with that.

Time is ticking down for joys baby! I sincerely hope she goes to the hospital for this first birth and everything goes smooth. We have past her due date right?

Yes. Joy was due the 22nd, so were three days past now. 

[AtlanticTug]

Wait did somebody here actually say to be grateful because things are worse in HAITI? Like for real, we should get a pat on the back for being better than the poorest country in the western hemisphere? LOL!

I am betting Joy has popped. Give us the damn name already so we can move on to the next baby watch thread (giggly, boring Kendra, step on down!)

[feministxtian]

Sorry I blew my cool folks...just something about seeing that bullshit and then looking at the scar on my husband's abdomen and the cannula that's attached to him 24/7 made me lose it. 

Great, we don't live in Haiti...however, if the US is going to claim to be a first world country, it's time to get with the fucking program...

And, yes, my vocabulary is reflecting the sailor's wife I am. I am beyond pissed off, passed livid a few blood vessels ago and currently sitting on enraged. 

[Sky with diamonds]

1 minute ago, feministxtian said:

Sorry I blew my cool folks...just something about seeing that bullshit and then looking at the scar on my husband's abdomen and the cannula that's attached to him 24/7 made me lose it. 

Great, we don't live in Haiti...however, if the US is going to claim to be a first world country, it's time to get with the fucking program...

And, yes, my vocabulary is reflecting the sailor's wife I am. I am beyond pissed off, passed livid a few blood vessels ago and currently sitting on enraged. 

I'm not offended or upset by what you said. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

I’m not offended either. You were real and shit got real. 

Many of us know and understand (somewhat) what you’re dealing with. 

No need to apologize on my account. 

[Alisamer]

There is at least one US insurance company that starts their day with a staff meeting including this:  "what are we going to do today?" "DENY, DENY, DENY!"

like how they paid for my last mammogram, but not for someone to READ it. Like how my co-worker spends hours managing her daughter's insurance, because every single time somebody codes something wrong and the payment is denied. Like how that same co-worker hasn't had her Depo shot in a couple years because her insurance refused to pay for it due to some technicality despite it being explicitly covered under the ACA. That same co-worker now has no insurance, because it was going to cost over $900 a month. Her husband has a severe brain injury, and can't work. So the government covers part of his medications, until they get "in the gap". Then it's $700 for insulin and who knows how much for everything else. Sometimes they have to ration his meds instead of taking them as prescribed. 

I have a distant cousin who died because she didn't have insurance and didn't go for treatment of her "cold" that wouldn't go away until it was too late. I have a co-worker who just lost most of his foot... same thing. No insurance, waited too late in fear of the costs involved. We've heard of the many flu deaths this year, but I wonder how many more "natural causes" deaths this year are really "got the flu and couldn't afford a doctor" deaths. 

Our healthcare system sucks. Even with good insurance anything involving a hospital is going to be super expensive. Insurance is prohibitively expensive for many people. Last year mine was more than my mortgage payment. 

[Shadoewolf]

No worries @feministxtian those of us who struggle understand.

Youngest has Medicaid but none of the local psychiatrists accept his plan so while he desperately needs new meds we can't get them. And the caseworker for mine and Hubby's Medicaid is a moron and we are waiting for our hearing to prove she screwed up. He's been without his very necessary psych meds for months because one generic costs $688 per month. I have nodules on my lungs that need to be closely monitored, thyroid issues, migraines that require meds, just to name a few. My husband works his ass off now 12-15 hours a day as a chef and because of Youngest's needs I can't work. We do okay between his job and the ex's child support and we just took our tax refund and responsibly paid a bunch off of our bills in advance and fixed my 2010 car because we don't have a payment on it. Our splurges were lower bowl tickets to a hockey game for Youngest and I ($97 each),  and the tattoo in memory of my mother that I'm getting on Tuesday. No fancy electronics, or vacations, or designer clothes/shoes or purses. Yeah things are just ducky. Walk a mile in someone's shoes then talk.