Joy and Austin 19: 273 Days After the Wedding Gideon Arrived

[feministxtian]

The problem with the US is that "puritan work ethic". You know, raise yourself up by your bootstraps, if you don't work you don't eat (a scripture verse taken WAY out of context), and all that other bullshit. It "costs too much" to give women decent maternity leave (another way to control women) and all that other shit. 

You wouldn't believe what we went through trying to get SSDI for my husband. 3 years, 2 denials and finally a hearing before a judge. In the US, nobody gives a damn if you're going to be homeless, health-careless, vehicleless because you can't work. They just see you as some lazy sonofabitch who's lazy. Let me show you my husband's surgical scar and a copy of the post-operative report. Let me show you where the insulin pump is attached to his body 24/7. Then YOU tell me the man could keep up with a full time job. It's been suggested that I apply for SSDI after my accident...I won't. Its just not worth the aggravation. Fortunately I have a very understanding boss...but still, there's no way to make up the lack of income when I have to take off for a procedure or am hurting too much to drag my ass out of bed. 

[sansan]

On 2/23/2018 at 4:23 PM, justoneoftwo said:

I hate this kind of logic.  With my boy I have to worry about all the vaginas?  Or are girls never a threat to boys?  Because they are.  Sex is as scary for both (or nearly) and I only have to worry a bout his penis because he is responsible for his actions and should be worried about the other penises or vaginas himself.  For both I would worry they would be hurt, but this obsession of protecting girls and not boys is so unhealthy.

Sorry for ranting.  I'll be quiet now.

I agree.

[frugalitymom]

I hope that she doesn’t deliver on March 3rd, they would take it as a sign to forgive Josh....

[viii]

5 minutes ago, frugalitymom said:

I hope that she doesn’t deliver on March 3rd, they would take it as a sign to forgive Josh....

That ship has already sailed. They forgave him ages ago imo. 

[Crazy Enough to Join]

13 hours ago, Jug Band Baby said:

Daddy Duggar can afford it, and TLC would probably foot the bill as well.  Either could deduct it as a business expense.

That's a big assumption. I'd be surprised if JimBob is footing any of his kids' bills. They've never been generous with their kids.

[JillRodsEyeliner]

On 2/23/2018 at 4:07 PM, Georgiana said:

When my dad said something similar to me in high school, I corrected him.  I may have to worry about many penises, but HE, as a parent, only needed to worry about my decision making skills.  I can decide which penises to allow in my life, thank you.

And on that note, you could flip this around and say daughters are easier than sons.  With a son, it is very likely you will always have to worry about at least one penis.  With a daughter, you may never have to worry about penises at all.  

"Jolly Muffin is possibly one of my favorite typos ever.  Sounds like a nurse-clown from a children's TV show. "

 

Sorry I don't know how to quote you from a closed board. Opps. I had no idea that I called Jill Jolly Muffin. I guess it fits since her "medical degree" is laughable .

[frugalitymom]

22 minutes ago, viii said:

That ship has already sailed. They forgave him ages ago imo. 

True but I could see them making a big deal out of it.

[grandmadugger]

1 hour ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

That's a big assumption. I'd be surprised if JimBob is footing any of his kids' bills. They've never been generous with their kids.

I think that the most he does is pay the ones that work for him a fair wage. 

[brookeb82]

https://www.amazon.com/The-Forsyths/dp/B0027UT3N6/ref=sr_1_1?s=instant-video&ie=UTF8&qid=1519538106&sr=1-1&keywords=worlds+strictest+parents

Forsyth episode is 8th. Sorry if you guys were already aware of this.

[meee]

4 hours ago, feministxtian said:

The problem with the US is that "puritan work ethic". You know, raise yourself up by your bootstraps, if you don't work you don't eat (a scripture verse taken WAY out of context), and all that other bullshit. It "costs too much" to give women decent maternity leave (another way to control women) and all that other shit. 

You wouldn't believe what we went through trying to get SSDI for my husband. 3 years, 2 denials and finally a hearing before a judge. In the US, nobody gives a damn if you're going to be homeless, health-careless, vehicleless because you can't work. They just see you as some lazy sonofabitch who's lazy. Let me show you my husband's surgical scar and a copy of the post-operative report. Let me show you where the insulin pump is attached to his body 24/7. Then YOU tell me the man could keep up with a full time job. It's been suggested that I apply for SSDI after my accident...I won't. Its just not worth the aggravation. Fortunately I have a very understanding boss...but still, there's no way to make up the lack of income when I have to take off for a procedure or am hurting too much to drag my ass out of bed. 

What's the scriptural verse?

[StepMonsterInLA]

My family own a construction company, I am 3rd generation. Grandpa is from backwoods of Louisiana worked hard, took risks, and became fairly wealthy. Sent his kids to college, as he only had a 6th grade education due to the Depression.  All these years later my brothers and I are running his company, and our workforce is probably 50/50 Hispanic vs non Hispanic . We have so many amazing employees who have been with us forever.  Several are from a small mountain village in central Mexico.  Recently I was talking to a couple of guys who immigrated illegally to the US in their late teens/early 20’s and asked why did you come here?  They replied they wanted a better life.  They have become naturalized citizens. Travel Home for vacation. I hate the political climate and the orange faced joke in the White House as much as the next white still registered republican but longs for the Obamas gal. 

The minority of our work force (white) has been the problem for us having bull shit workers comp claims, lawsuits, bad behavior due to probable substance abuse. Friday I discovered a guy had charged $122 on his company American Express for Uber because his car was broken down and he had to get to work.  He was shocked that somehow that happened.

i don’t wanna bash the US because I’ve been to a 3rd world country and wouldn’t love to stay where you literally can’t rinse your toothbrush under the tap and haul bottled water back to your room.  

Or Mexico because there isn’t adequate opportunity to provide for your family.  

So I kind of take issue with piling on the US for not providing adequate paid time off for maternity leave. 6 weeks of state disability is 100% more than Haiti or Mexico.  

Tl/dr Yeah US ma and paternity leave isn’t ideal. So what you’re living in the land of the free and the home of the brave. Stop being spoiled. I’ll see myself out of the Duggar forum where I don’t like to venture anyways. 

[singsingsing]

4 hours ago, StepMonsterInLA said:

My family own a construction company, I am 3rd generation. Grandpa is from backwoods of Louisiana worked hard, took risks, and became fairly wealthy. Sent his kids to college, as he only had a 6th grade education due to the Depression.  All these years later my brothers and I are running his company, and our workforce is probably 50/50 Hispanic vs non Hispanic . We have so many amazing employees who have been with us forever.  Several are from a small mountain village in central Mexico.  Recently I was talking to a couple of guys who immigrated illegally to the US in their late teens/early 20’s and asked why did you come here?  They replied they wanted a better life.  They have become naturalized citizens. Travel Home for vacation. I hate the political climate and the orange faced joke in the White House as much as the next white still registered republican but longs for the Obamas gal. 

The minority of our work force (white) has been the problem for us having bull shit workers comp claims, lawsuits, bad behavior due to probable substance abuse. Friday I discovered a guy had charged $122 on his company American Express for Uber because his car was broken down and he had to get to work.  He was shocked that somehow that happened.

i don’t wanna bash the US because I’ve been to a 3rd world country and wouldn’t love to stay where you literally can’t rinse your toothbrush under the tap and haul bottled water back to your room.  

Or Mexico because there isn’t adequate opportunity to provide for your family.  

So I kind of take issue with piling on the US for not providing adequate paid time off for maternity leave. 6 weeks of state disability is 100% more than Haiti or Mexico.  

Tl/dr Yeah US ma and paternity leave isn’t ideal. So what you’re living in the land of the free and the home of the brave. Stop being spoiled. I’ll see myself out of the Duggar forum where I don’t like to venture anyways. 

So you inherited your company from your wealthy grandfather and you have the gall to call people who criticize the U.S.’s abysmal family leave policies “spoiled” because “at least it’s not a third world country”? There are no words.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

48 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

So you inherited your company from your wealthy grandfather and you have the gall to call people who criticize the U.S.’s abysmal family leave policies “spoiled” because “at least it’s not a third world country”? There are no words.

Thank you for saving me a trip to the prayer closet, you are right sometimes being speechless says it all. 

[emscm]

5 hours ago, StepMonsterInLA said:

My family own a construction company, I am 3rd generation. Grandpa is from backwoods of Louisiana worked hard, took risks, and became fairly wealthy. Sent his kids to college, as he only had a 6th grade education due to the Depression.  All these years later my brothers and I are running his company, and our workforce is probably 50/50 Hispanic vs non Hispanic . We have so many amazing employees who have been with us forever.  Several are from a small mountain village in central Mexico.  Recently I was talking to a couple of guys who immigrated illegally to the US in their late teens/early 20’s and asked why did you come here?  They replied they wanted a better life.  They have become naturalized citizens. Travel Home for vacation. I hate the political climate and the orange faced joke in the White House as much as the next white still registered republican but longs for the Obamas gal. 

The minority of our work force (white) has been the problem for us having bull shit workers comp claims, lawsuits, bad behavior due to probable substance abuse. Friday I discovered a guy had charged $122 on his company American Express for Uber because his car was broken down and he had to get to work.  He was shocked that somehow that happened.

i don’t wanna bash the US because I’ve been to a 3rd world country and wouldn’t love to stay where you literally can’t rinse your toothbrush under the tap and haul bottled water back to your room.  

Or Mexico because there isn’t adequate opportunity to provide for your family.  

So I kind of take issue with piling on the US for not providing adequate paid time off for maternity leave. 6 weeks of state disability is 100% more than Haiti or Mexico.  

Tl/dr Yeah US ma and paternity leave isn’t ideal. So what you’re living in the land of the free and the home of the brave. Stop being spoiled. I’ll see myself out of the Duggar forum where I don’t like to venture anyways. 

The point is not that we don't have things relatively good in the US in comparison to countries where people suffer greatly in ways I may never know or understand.  The point is that the US HAS touted itself as the "land of the free and the home of the brave."  And yet, we are not free enough to make our family planning decisions without someone trying to legislate our bodies.  And we are not free enough to do the best we can for our families without sacrificing financial security.  Our leaders are not brave enough to acknowledge that this is wrong and make it right.  They are not brave enough to realize that maybe other countries have it right this time and we don't.  They are not brave enough to stand up to their deep-pocketed donors and take a risk for those they supposedly represent.  

I'm 31 years old and childless.  It is by my own choice, but it's a choice that aches every day.  My husband and I are just now finally ttc.  We have wanted children for years but never had the relative financial security to consider it before.  I realize that there is never a perfect time to start having children, but when we were living with my 70+ year old parents after we made an out of state move was really REALLY not the right time.  But now IS the right time for us to refuse to stand for policies that don't support families anymore.  It is not good for our society or our future. 

[coexist]

7 hours ago, meee said:

What's the scriptural verse?

2 Thessalonians 3, or thereabouts (If my now atheist, formerly-fundie-but-not-the-Duggars-kind, pastor's daughter, used-to-have-much-of-the-Bible-memorized brain recalls...)

*Sent a text to my mother & she said it's verse 10. Me asking about a text at all probably means to her that all those prayers for my salvation are working, poor thing.

[Irishy]

6 hours ago, StepMonsterInLA said:

 

So I kind of take issue with piling on the US for not providing adequate paid time off for maternity leave. 6 weeks of state disability is 100% more than Haiti or Mexico.  

You realise you’re comparing yourself and your hideous policies to those of developing countries right?

[JillyO]

6 hours ago, StepMonsterInLA said:

So I kind of take issue with piling on the US for not providing adequate paid time off for maternity leave. 6 weeks of state disability is 100% more than Haiti or Mexico.  

Tl/dr Yeah US ma and paternity leave isn’t ideal. So what you’re living in the land of the free and the home of the brave. Stop being spoiled. I’ll see myself out of the Duggar forum where I don’t like to venture anyways. 

I'll ignore all of the offensive stuff you've said in the rest of your post and just say this:

I find it absolutely hilarious when people like you (read: generally speaking, conservatives) come up with this "argument." So you think America is the greatest country in the world, "the land of the free and the home of the brave," and yet you're apparently only comfortable comparing it to some of the poorest countries in the world. I don't think anybody here is trying to claim that there aren't places in the world that are significantly worse than the US in many regards. You already mentioned Haiti. Somalia, North Korea, Syria, Yemen. Should I go on? I'll readily admit that living conditions in the US are much better. But is that really the standard you want to aspire to? The richest country in the world can only say "Well, it's better than in a horrible dictatorship and a place currently disintegrating in a civil war?" How about comparing the US to some of the other rich countries in the world? See how it stacks up against Canada, Norway, Switzerland, Australia? Yeah, didn't think so.

[lizzybee]

On the other topic of JB helping his daughters and not his sons, wasn't it said that Joe and Kendra were living in Grandma's house that they'd moved onto the Duggar property? That doesn't sound very much like leave and cleave either. That's 0 for 2 there on the leave and cleave theory for Duggar boys. 

[AlwaysExcited]

7 hours ago, StepMonsterInLA said:

i don’t wanna bash the US because I’ve been to a 3rd world country and wouldn’t love to stay where you literally can’t rinse your toothbrush under the tap and haul bottled water back to your room.  

Or Mexico because there isn’t adequate opportunity to provide for your family.  

So I kind of take issue with piling on the US for not providing adequate paid time off for maternity leave. 6 weeks of state disability is 100% more than Haiti or Mexico.  

Tl/dr Yeah US ma and paternity leave isn’t ideal. So what you’re living in the land of the free and the home of the brave. Stop being spoiled. I’ll see myself out of the Duggar forum where I don’t like to venture anyways. 

While walking out of the Duggar forum, please, do not trip over you incredibly low set bar. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

I used to work as a labor organizer and half the time when I told someone what I did, I'd get a response like the poster above. "Oh, you idealists think everyone should have all these benefits, but you don't know what it's like to be an employer... all my workers are jokers who cost me too much money already, and now I'm supposed to give them X, Y and Z..." Invariably these are people who pay their workers less than a living wage, offer no benefits, and yet have convinced themselves that they're being generous. I have never met a small employer who already paid good wages and benefits and still spoke like that.  You want employees who show up sober and take the job seriously? Offer them enough compensation that they don't view the job as a fucking joke. 

Oh, and while people who live in fear of deportation may have no choice but to keep the shitty job you gave them, if the people with free choice in the situation are telling you to go fuck yourself, you are not a good employer.

[RubyRei]

Not necessarily making assumptions about anyone on here, but do ya ever notice that it is HEALTHY and WEALTHY people who have this wonderfully doe-eyed notion that if everyone pays for their own healthcare the world will be a sparkly, shiny, rainbow place?

I feel like people don’t understand that it takes one car crash, one genetic disorder, one tick bite, one ACCIDENT, no matter how rich you are, to shred your well-being physically, mentally, and financially, to pieces. 

I get it, you’re well off or you work damn hard and don’t want to “take care of others”. I’m not going to get into why I think the economics of this don’t add up to be the best for any of us in the end. But seriously, think of us who lost everything, or never had anything, or who social services will not help out, and think “would I want that for me or my family or my friends?”

It’s not a damn easy life to be sick and poor and it’s not damn unreasonable to think that the U.S. is a country in which even we should be taken care of!

Probably preaching to the choir but man does this make my head wanna blow. I’ve been sick since I was 12. I’m 25 and still have so much trouble getting by. I hate when people insinuate that it’s just a personal problem. Maybe it is... but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. 

[victoriasponge]

@RubyRei you described my boyfriend’s family to a T, especially his mother. She’s pretty much self made and works as a lawyer. Any money she gets in cash she doesn’t declare to save taxes, they have an accountant to avoid Britain’s tax man and she constantly says that people like my parents (public sector workers) want to steal her money on unreasonable salaries and strikes and pensions. Her reasoning for this, her husband is a partner in a GP practice and has it good. Therefore every public sector worker must do. They should just get real jobs (Dad catches organised criminals. Not a real job, obviously), and everyone should just work hard and it’ll be fine and they’ll be rewarded. 

It boggles my mind how people like her can think anyone wants to be poor (or struggling etc.). It’s an absolutely horrific place to be, even in developed countries. Especially, in some ways, because then you get told it’s not real poverty and you should just pull yourself up by your bootstraps (while they’re sending their child to private school and giving him private healthcare). It especially boggles my mind because she is genuinely a nice person. 

She’s meeting my trade unionist father next month. This is not going to go well. 

[JenniferJuniper]

15 minutes ago, RubyRei said:

Not necessarily making assumptions about anyone on here, but do ya ever notice that it is HEALTHY and WEALTHY people who have this wonderfully doe-eyed notion that if everyone pays for their own healthcare the world will be a sparkly, shiny, rainbow place?

I feel like people don’t understand that it takes one car crash, one genetic disorder, one tick bite, one ACCIDENT, no matter how rich you are, to shred your well-being physically, mentally, and financially, to pieces. 

Add to this the fact that the middle class is rapidly disappearing thanks to what began with St. Reagan in the 80's and has been accelerating ever since.

We are rapidly heading into a two class system - the wealthy and the poor.  And those who aren't seriously wealthy need to wake up to the reality that they are going to get old and as you say, even long before then are just one health emergency away from disaster.  If you haven't had a serious accident, illness, or disability you have no idea how bad your health insurance really is.  Or how hard insurance companies try to deny benefits.

So, if you aren't in the the 1%, wake the fuck up even if you don't personally give a shit about poor people.  Without a thriving middle class we're all in a lot of trouble.

[Londish]

I am lucky to be in good health. The people in favor of cutting these social programs need to realize it is just be lily sheer luck that you are healthy, gainfully employed, have a backup plan, etc. Because no one ever think they will get sick, or laid off, etc.

The alternative to having social programs isn’t that people will “pick themselves up by their bootstraps” it’s that people will be dying in the streets due to bankruptcy over medical bills.

I remember reading last year about a man dying because his GoFundMe was $50 short to purchase insulin..how can this happen in the richest nation in the world?

https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/ezwwze/the-high-price-of-insulin-is-literally-killing-people

This is similar to my thoughts on not drug testing food stamp recipients, ignoring the obvious facts that it never actually results in any significant findings. Taking away someone’s food stamps because they fail a drug test doesn’t mean they will all of a sudden get clean, it means they - and any children involved - will starve.

Like please, keep the $42/year that I pay in taxes towards welfare programs to ensure a healthy, fed society.

[Glasgowghirl]

It's shocking that the US doesn't provide maternity pay and health care for all. The NHS will be 70 this year and while it is not perfect by any means, I am grateful that the only things I need to pay for is dental treatment and my glasses. When I wasn't working enough hours I was entitled to both for free.