Jinjer 37: The Joys of Pregnancy

[Chickenbutt]

@Satan'sFortressYou never know. Your DIL's may ask you. My DIL was iffy on the subject for awhile, but then one day just asked if I wanted to be there. Things change. 

[sta_sha]

@SapphireSlytherin modi twins are mono chorionic di amniotic twins. Each baby has its own amniotic sac, but both babies share a chorionic sac. Modi twins share a placenta and are always identical. 

You can also have didi twins (both babies each have two sacks of their own and can be identical or fraternal ) and momo twins (babies share both sacs and are identical) 

Modi and momo twins are one egg that splits, modi twins occur when the egg splits within the first 48 hours after being fertilized and you get momo twins when the egg splits more than 72 hours after being fertilized. 

...or at least this is how it was explained to me when we were told we were having twins. My OB actually drew me a very helpful picture so I could explain it to people.

ETA- @WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? I love those signs! I’m going to see if I can find one. I had a lady in the grocery store actually try to open the car seat cover on one of my boys. People need to keep their hands to themselves!

 

[AliceInFundyland]

1 hour ago, Satan'sFortress said:

1.  You're killing me, @Chickenbutt!  Such a sweet story.  As a mom of boys, I don't imagine my DILs would want me in the room--and I would totally understand.  But it is really lovely that you had that moment.

2.  I know this should probably be posted in "unpopular opinions" but in hindsight, I probably would have been OK if DH was not with me for my deliveries.  It isn't that he wasn't supportive---he was.  And I wouldn't ever have denied him being there to see the babies born . . . and yet, I found him somehow . . . distracting . . . when I really needed to focus.  The second time, especially, it was a fast labor and I was surrounded by nurses and midwives (it happened during a shift change, so they all stayed!)  I really liked the support of all women at that time and felt the "woman power."  And also, yes, I'm going to say it:  One of us may have pooped in the bed before the baby was born.    We both could have probably lived without that image.

3.  Thank you to all the FJ nurses.  I am not a huge fan of doctors, but nurses are the best.  I did indeed have a nurse help me get rid of unwanted guests post baby.  She was so wonderful, I will never forget her.

In all the birth related stories I read on FJ, I don't know that I've seen any of you mention this particular "unpleasantness." I'm kind of curious. I've heard that it's not uncommon to poop during delivery. Yes? No?

...Apologies for the squickiness of the question. 

[PennySycamore]

I know this is late to the discussion of who was at your births, but my mom AND my five year old daughter where there when my last baby was born.  My five year old told her kindergarten class that afternoon that she saw her mom have a baby that morning.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@sta_sha--This is the website that sells most of those signs. (Someone linked to them in a parenting thread months ago, but I forget who.)

http://www.donttouchbaby.com/DONT-TOUCH-SIGNS_c_26.html

@AliceInFundyland--I'm going to use a spoiler. 

Spoiler

I believe that having a bowel movement during delivery isn't uncommon. (It didn't happen to me, but I've heard of more than one instance of it.) If you consider that a mom is tensing her whole abdomen and pushing a human head out, it isn't surprising that something else might come out, too.  

It's also not unusual to get nauseated and even vomit during some points in labor. I got nauseated, but managed to settle my stomach by not drinking any more water and switching to ice chips. The ice chips kept my throat from drying out and kept me hydrated without making me feel sick.

The nice thing is, the nurses and doctors have seen it all and just quickly clean things up, no big deal. My water broke at the end of my second labor and they had me cleaned up and dry in about 2 minutes. Real professionals are amazing!

To all the people considering having kids some day, it really is all worth it. If you want to be a parent, you can find amazing abilities to deal with all kinds of things you might have thought you couldn't do. Or if you decide that parenthood isn't your desire, you can have an amazing life in a different way. 

[Nowyn]

7 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

In all the birth related stories I read on FJ, I don't know that I've seen any of you mention this particular "unpleasantness." I'm kind of curious. I've heard that it's not uncommon to poop during delivery. Yes? No?

...Apologies for the squickiness of the question. 

Spoiler

It is very common. Because doctors and nurses are so used to it they clean it immediately and sometimes the mom giving birth doesn't even know they pooped. At one point in history, birthing moms were given an enema to avoid it. It was that common.

 

I love kids. Babies even more. I am also so fascinated with pregnancy and birth that I want to become OB.
I have however never seen a birth live. It is not very common here to have anyone apart from your partner there during the birth. 

If I did what I wanted to I would ask to be there and I would ask to visit in the hospital. I would also move in with the parents and have 15 kids. But I am not an asshole. So I let it be and wait to be invited.

Luckily, my friends know I love kids. They know I am good with them and I actually help with whatever they need help with. So I get invited pretty early.

What I don't get is that people who are parents themselves are being assholes. Or how someone touches baby/child that is unfamiliar in situation where there is no danger or potential danger.  Not to mention kissing that child. If I who loves kids and has issues with boundaries can understand that it floors me that someone doesn't. It might be a cultural thing though. I live in Finland and we are a lot more reserved than most. I do verbally correct kids I don't know if the situation requires that. It is more socially acceptable than touching kids one doesn't know here.

 

Thankfully I can be an honorary auntie to all my friends' kids. It eases up the fact I don't have kids. If I didn't know I can borrow those regularly with their parents' happy blessing I would be suffering more.

[VelociRapture]

11 hours ago, sta_sha said:

@SapphireSlytherin modi twins are mono chorionic di amniotic twins. Each baby has its own amniotic sac, but both babies share a chorionic sac. Modi twins share a placenta and are always identical. 

You can also have didi twins (both babies each have two sacks of their own and can be identical or fraternal ) and momo twins (babies share both sacs and are identical) 

Modi and momo twins are one egg that splits, modi twins occur when the egg splits within the first 48 hours after being fertilized and you get momo twins when the egg splits more than 72 hours after being fertilized. 

...or at least this is how it was explained to me when we were told we were having twins. My OB actually drew me a very helpful picture so I could explain it to people.

ETA- @WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? I love those signs! I’m going to see if I can find one. I had a lady in the grocery store actually try to open the car seat cover on one of my boys. People need to keep their hands to themselves!

 

I had a sign from the NICU. I thought it’d work great, but it never stayed in place - it would just slide around on the handle. So look for one that secures more firmly if you want to get them for your little sweeties.

Also, start practicing how you want to tell people to back off. I can almost guarantee you that at least one person won’t care what the sign says and they’ll try to touch the baby anyways. 

(I should also take my own advice because strangers have touched my baby without my - or her - consent before. I’m always so taken aback that I never know how to react because touching a stranger’s kid without permission is such a weird thing to do in my mind. I’m thinking a firm, “Don’t touch my child,” should hopefully do the trick most of the time. And if not, I think you’re justified in getting pretty pissed off.)

ETA: And this may not work for you because you have twins, but wearing the baby in a carrier can sometimes work really well at deterring people - possibly because they’d look super creepy reaching out towards someone else’s chest. Velocibaby is getting too heavy for me to wear for long periods of time now, but I never had anyone try to touch her out in public when I wore her in the carrier. 

[Casserole]

ugh these MIL stories are not giving me hope. My boyfriend is very much the person I would like to marry. His mother is HELL on earth. She's manipulative and emotionally abusive. We've been together a few years and I have met his entire extended family EXCEPT her. She lives in a different state than us and the times she has visited him, I've offered to meet them for a drink (for example) before they went to dinner and she flat out refuses because it is HER time with HER baby. (I get they don't see each other often which is why I offered something small like a drink so she could have that time.) 

She invited me (through him) on the annual family vacation and then when I actually said yes she snapped, freaked out, threw a tantrum how she hated me (again, let me repeat, we've never met) and said I was not welcome. She has since apologized after BF said he was canceling his flight and putting his foot down. I, obviously, still refuse to go because why would I go somewhere I wasn't welcome?

He is the trifecta of only son, first born, and very clearly the favorite child. She has straight up said no one will ever be good enough for him. She has threatened suicide if he does not move back to their home state. She is fucking batshit crazy and God, I love him, but that woman may break me. 

 

I shudder when thinking of a potential wedding and adding grandchildren to the mix. Rufus HELP. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

@Casserole-it helps when your shitty, awful, hateful, cruel, abusive MIL lives on a different continent. May I suggest looking into moving far, far away?

[mollysmom]

40 minutes ago, Casserole said:

He is the trifecta of only son, first born, and very clearly the favorite child. She has straight up said no one will ever be good enough for him. She has threatened suicide if he does not move back to their home state. She is fucking batshit crazy and God, I love him, but that woman may break me. 

 

I shudder when thinking of a potential wedding and adding grandchildren to the mix. Rufus HELP. 

Sweet baby Jesus! She sounds like a piece of work!! Wtf?! My initial reaction was to tell you to run! Run fast and run far! BUT, I changed my mind (not that you asked for my opinion or anything haha) but yeah, if you love him, hang onto him. She doesn't live close enough where you have to deal with her on a daily basis plus, circle of life, she's gotta die sometime.  Just saying. Sorry you have to deal with that though. She sounds beyond HORRIBLE!!!!!! 

[Casserole]

2 minutes ago, mollysmom said:

Sweet baby Jesus! She sounds like a piece of work!! Wtf?! My initial reaction was to tell you to run! Run fast and run far! BUT, I changed my mind (not that you asked for my opinion or anything haha) but yeah, if you love him, hang onto him. She doesn't live close enough where you have to deal with her on a daily basis plus, circle of life, she's gotta die sometime.  Just saying. Sorry you have to deal with that though. She sounds beyond HORRIBLE!!!!!! 

Yeah that was my initial reaction, too. Take me out of the equation - you don't ever threaten suicide to make your child do something... it's abuse, plain and simple. Not to mention he moved to our current state for a job opportunity that he LOVES and he's happy and thriving ... and just, how could you want to hurt your child like that? I know I'm currently childless but isn't the whole point to raise independent, self-sufficient humans and watch them grow and learn and find happiness and create a beautiful life all the while hoping you did a good job and they want you to be a part of the adult life they're making? He is happy, she wants to make him miserable. 

True story, when I met his favorite aunt she gave me her blessing and did the sign of the cross over me and said, "God Bless you with his mother." 

I alternate between wanting to strangle her and just laughing because it's all so absurd. If we don't end up marrying, 98% chance she'll be the reason.

[cptbailey]

If anyone needs more evidence that good ol Jeremey has the same horrendous options as the rest of the Duggs, here is Jeremy calling catholics demonic Pagans 

 

Some highlights, courtesy of a redditor, from the video:

Quote

 just want to say this, kind of as an aside for us here in Laredo. There are spiritual strongholds in our world today, aren’t there? Just as Paul and Silas encountered the demonic in Phlippi, so we encounter that here in Laredo. In this city we have the pagan religion of Catholicism gripping the souls of the majority.

When the question comes, “What must I do to be saved?” Catholicism tells you to clean up your life and adequately perform the sacramental duties.

Islam tells you to follow Islam. Do enough good deeds to outweigh your bad and perhaps Allah will allow you to enter paradise, but even then you can’t be certain. In fact, the only way for you to be certain of paradise is if you die in jihad.

Hinduism, though varying and ever-changing the requirements, they teach salvation through bathing in a sacred river, or uttering mantras or prayers.

The message of salvation from those who claim to be Jews, but are not, commands you to do your best to be righteous in keeping the law found in the Torah. Just do your best.

All of these, and the thousands of other religions and the sects that come out of and veer off the major world religions demand salvation from within yourself. But that leaves us despairing and lost — sinking in the deadly pit of our own depravity. The message of the Christian is that of grace — ill-deserved favor from the hand of God to a wretched, depraved sinner. And that is the foundation upon which the church is built.

What ever happened to this guy? Isn't his family Italian/Catholic? Wasn't he a wordly young guy? I don't get how adults can randomly fall face first into this shit and believe it. As an atheist I have zero horses in this inter-Christianity fighting but it is weird as all.

Fuck you Jeremy and your meek-wife-seeking pretentious ass.

 

[singsingsing]

17 minutes ago, cptbailey said:

What ever happened to this guy? Isn't his family Italian/Catholic? Wasn't he a wordly young guy? I don't get how adults can randomly fall face first into this shit and believe it.

Eh... I'm not sure about his extended family, but I believe that Jeremy was homeschooled, and his dad is the pastor of a conservative protestant church. So he was raised this way, at least to some extent. Like so many other conservative evangelical males, he got to have his cake and eat it too by having his fun during university, till he decided it was time to settle down. Now he gets his beautiful meek wife and his own church to preach to. And I'm sure he won't be content with his little church in Laredo for long. Being a star athlete didn't work out, so now he's going to be a star preacher.

[PennySycamore]

What the fuck is that shit about people who claim to be Jews, but aren't?

Also, clearly this POS doesn't not understand at all that not all religions have the same concept of salvation or the afterlife as Christianity does.  

FUCK OFF, Jeremy!  Just FUCK OFF!

[JillyO]

I remember this issue being discussed during the JinJer courtship. IIRC (and I could be totally misremembering) Jeremy's parents converted from Catholicism, and his father indeed became a conservative preacher and came to strongly denounce Catholicism. I do wonder about his grandparents though. Since Jinger was shown learning some of his grandma's recipes, Jeremy seems to be on good terms with her at least. I can't imagine she would appreciate being called a demonic pagan, but maybe his grandparents converted along with his parents? Jeremy himself was definitely raised as a conservative evangelical Christian.

[nickelodeon]

I think this one came up on the board before, but I'm glad it's back because we sleep on Jeremy's shitty sermons WAY too much.

Also what the fuck is the "people who claim to be Jews but are not" thing about?? What is he referring to, and since when is he an authority on who's REALLY Jewish and who's a Jewish poser?

[SorenaJ]

3 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

Also what the fuck is the "people who claim to be Jews but are not" thing about?? What is he referring to, and since when is he an authority on who's REALLY Jewish and who's a Jewish poser?

Maybe he is referring to Orange is the New Black. 

[Carm_88]

Ugh! That sermon is just plain disgusting. Worry about your own life Jeremy, don't be worrying about what I will be doing in the afterlife. I assure you, I don't give a damn about you. 

[SweetJuly]

Isn't it wonderful how Jeremy's sermon throws shade at basically every religion outside conservative protestantism? How generous and thoughtful of him to be so inclusive!

In my case, as I am Jewish, that sentence about "people who claim to be Jews but are not" stood out to me.

Could it have something to do with Jesus? Something along the lines that Jesus was the messiah, and since these ominous "people who claim to be Jews" did and do not accept Jesus as the messiah, they are - in the eyes of Jeremy and his ilk - not actually Jews?

Maybe someone who understands the evangelicals' twisted theology better can shed some light on that?

 

[TheMustardCardigan]

Yeah, Jeremy sucks, I think a lot of people try to look the other way to maintain the dream that Jinger escaped into a secular normal life.

[Bad Wolf]

The sermon at our church last week was about not worrying about what religion you are. As long as you're following Jesus's vision of helping others, you can be Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, etc. 

[Melissa1977]

I'm an atheist but I find his sermon outrageous. I have no words. My great-aunt was a nun and she preached on how all religions (an even atheism) were good if people behaved loving and caring for the others.

Fuckkkkkkk Jeremy

[SweetJuly]

The problem with Jeremy is that he is, in many ways, more normal than the Duggars. He's more educated, more experienced, more knowledgeable and well-versed in what I would call "real life jargon" (people who grow up fairly isolated in a cult-like environment often struggle to function and communicate effectively outside their little circle), and he is perhaps in some ways more open-minded than the Duggars (clothes, alcohol, etc.)

So it's easy to be blinded by his - and now Jinger's - more "normal" appearance. What you see about them on Counting On, and also their social media, generally looks like stuff any other young, stylish couple would do or say. And I do believe that Jinger feels and is a lot freer now than she was growing up.

However, of course Jeremy still essentially subscribes to the same horrible, harmful beliefs as the Duggars. It's a good thing people share his sermons on FJ to bring us all back down to Vuolo-earth every now and then.

[MoonFace]

13 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

The sermon at our church last week was about not worrying about what religion you are. As long as you're following Jesus's vision of helping others, you can be Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, etc. 

I like this.   In my opinion I believe that every religion has great points.   

I am Christian but I often wonder how God would refuse heaven to a person with a good heart and who lived the best way they could just because they had never heard of Jesus?   

 

(I'm sure that statement is opening a can of worms but I do not intend to offend anyone's beliefs)    

[VelociRapture]

Jeremy is pretty much a more polished version of Derick - same hateful beliefs just wrapped up in some nicer clothes and more eloquent words. 

Its fine to think he and Jinger make a nice couple, are cute on social media, dress nice, etc. Just don’t lose sight that he’s a guy that is not tolerant of viewpoints and beliefs that don’t align with his own. And keep in mind that Jinger very likely believes the same. Maybe with time she’ll evolve her views, but right now she very likely believes the same hateful things as her husband, her BIL, and the rest of her family.