Jinjer 37: The Joys of Pregnancy

[OldFadedStar]

Anyone watch Jeremys live video on instagram? 

It's just him preaching. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

4 minutes ago, Kailash said:

@SapphireSlytherin I am cracking up over the janitor comment. I felt very similar- anyone who could get this baby out, please do!! Ah, good times. 

Hahaha - I still remember his reaction. Poor guy. LOL

[Kailash]

2 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Hahaha - I still remember his reaction. Poor guy. LOL

You’re killing me! Poor guy for sure!!!

[PainfullyAware]

I KNOW my Mom is going to want to be there with me but I really would only want my husband. We are planning to start our family and I'm already stressed about how to tell her lol I don't mind a quick visit potentially in the early stages but not for the delivery. It's just not a moment I want to share...maybe I won't care by that point but in theory I'd like our child's first moments to be just us. Selfish?

[Kelsey]

Simple. Don't tell anyone that you're in labor until after you had the baby and then "it all happened so fast."

[nvmbr02]

59 minutes ago, PainfullyAware said:

I KNOW my Mom is going to want to be there with me but I really would only want my husband. We are planning to start our family and I'm already stressed about how to tell her lol I don't mind a quick visit potentially in the early stages but not for the delivery. It's just not a moment I want to share...maybe I won't care by that point but in theory I'd like our child's first moments to be just us. Selfish?

Not selfish at all. It is your body and your delivery so you should be able to control the things you are able. 

That being said for our first baby I had Dh, Dh's best friend and best friend's wife. I barely knew the best friend or the wife. It wasn't really planned that way, They just happened to be there when things were heating up and they ended up staying. I found out that I am really focused on laboring and I personally don't really care who else is there. Except I am 100% positive that I would not have wanted my mom there but we weren't close at all.

With my other two kids labor moved too fast for anyone else to get there. except for my husband and that was okay too. But I have some really awesome pictures and videos that we were able to get with the first since there was someone other than husband to take the pictures. And all pictures and videos are rated PG so I was able to share them with friends and family which was pretty awesome too. 

 

[Chewing Gum]

1 hour ago, PainfullyAware said:

I KNOW my Mom is going to want to be there with me but I really would only want my husband. We are planning to start our family and I'm already stressed about how to tell her lol I don't mind a quick visit potentially in the early stages but not for the delivery. It's just not a moment I want to share...maybe I won't care by that point but in theory I'd like our child's first moments to be just us. Selfish?

Not selfish at all. You labor best when you can relax as much as possible, so choose the people in your surrounding carefully.  

[JillyO]

14 hours ago, singsingsing said:

I think Derick is the only one who I could maybe see lurking here. He definitely seems like the type to hate read. I'd be kind of surprised if he and Cathy could keep themselves from commenting, though. 

Oh my Rufus, can you imagine if Cathy were to read here? Every other post in the Dillard thread would be like, "A lot of assumptions are being made here."

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

1 hour ago, nvmbr02 said:

And all pictures and videos are rated PG so I was able to share them with friends and family which was pretty awesome too. 

We have video from our first child's birth and it's accidentally PG rated. The doctor had a bright, bright light aimed at my pale, pale nether regions, and all that shows up on the video is a white glowing blob in my personal area. When the baby emerges from that area, you can see her, but my modesty is preserved.  I still keep it as a private momento, not for public sharing. I'm more apt to share still pics.

 

[DillyDally]

9 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

When Lexi was born they filmed in the clinic, but not in the delivery room. I could see J&J going for that with Jeremy showing off his scrubs. He does love to dress up.

And we'll see some stretching before he's ready to catch the baby 

[nvmbr02]

9 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

We have video from our first child's birth and it's accidentally PG rated. The doctor had a bright, bright light aimed at my pale, pale nether regions, and all that shows up on the video is a white glowing blob in my personal area. When the baby emerges from that area, you can see her, but my modesty is preserved.  I still keep it as a private momento, not for public sharing. I'm more apt to share still pics.

 

That's awesome! Our video starts right after she is out and it is filmed from the sides. It is perfect because it has her first cry and my and my husband's reactions as well as our friends' and the dr. and nurses. The very first thing I said was "She is so little!" and she was pretty small for a full term baby. Our friend's wife was actually the one who caught her (she was a doula that volunteered at the hospital and she was good friends with the doctor delivering and he let her jump in and catch (with my permission) so we have her reaction, which was a HUGE smile on her face. 

As a sad note, it was a small military hospital. The doctor left on a deployment shortly after my daughter was born. He came back from that deployment with pretty bad PTSD and ended up committing suicide about 18 months ago. I haven't watched the video since hearing of his death but I am sure when I do it will be very bitter sweet. He was a great doctor. I saw him for most of my prenatal appointments with my oldest and a few with my second before the PTSD caused him to leave the military. 

[Crooked.Stick]

On 2/26/2018 at 1:37 AM, Granwych said:

Well, one of my ring fingers is longer than the index finger and one is shorter.  I am not an XXY because I have birthed Wychling.  Next!!

I just choked on water, Bahahaha

NEXT!  u win the internet today @Granwych

On 2/26/2018 at 8:32 AM, SassyPants said:

IMO, those who carry high experience more heartburn. To quote Jinger, "The Law of Physics."

I carried both of mine up towards my throat- both were posterior presentations (Lucky me), c-sections, and I had mega heartburn both times.

Can you show me where she said that? I'm dying to know the context ::resting my chin on my hands::

[elliha]

In Sweden the norm is that it is the birthing person and partner that are in the delivery room. Most hospitals allow one more non medical person but most do not take that offer so just having your husband/wife/partner there is what I expect. I have heard of someone having their mom there but often because their husband couldn't be there and not both. At least my hospital also does not allow that you film or photograph any member of staff so having a video or even pictures is a bit tricky. My husband caught my son though and he was there to see what happened with my daughter. I thought he would not want to see things before my daughter was born but he thought it was great and therefore I decided to write that I wanted him to catch our other baby if there was not any medical reason not to of course. It felt very close and personal to have him lift my son up and give him to me. We both said that he was so tiny and such a small baby and the midwife mildly disagreed. "He is a pretty big baby" "Nooo, he is tiny, he must me much smaller than our first." "We'll see..." Hmm, yeah he was 4.2 kilos so not tiny at all and our daughter was 3.9 so that was wrong too. He was cute, that we all agreed on.

[Crooked.Stick]

11 hours ago, kachuu said:

My inlaws plan to be waiting right out the door as soon as he pops out of me. I'm stressing the fuck out. Like, why cant we have 5 minutes of transition before you HAVE to shove yourselves into every damn moment. Is that selfish?

Do the nurses allow visitors back there as soon as you are in recovery or do they wait till you give the say-so? My MIL is overwhelming and pushy and so help me god if she just waltz through the door while i'm pushing. I'm super hormonal about the woman today, so you know, our future is really bright.

@kachuuBoth hospitals I work/worked at have a general two person at a time limit. Actual policy is one direct family members at time, but we let more people in upon request. (Btw delivery and recovery is in the same room here with low risk births)

Currently no children under 12 allowed for at least 2 hours due to influenza...must wear a mask and be observed using hand sanitizer before entering. 

Also....tell your nurse you don't want visitors until you're ready....our main concern is you and baby. We will say no visitors allowed period, no visitors allowed for x number of hours, only one person at a time etc. I see this a lot in the south (intrusively eager family members). I kindly fib all the time for my patients. 

If you're stressed already please just call your caretaker and let them know this ahead of time so that they can write a note on your chart. I'm so sorry that you're stressing.  ::hugs::

[RainbowSky]

I've given birth 4x without an epidural etc and definitely  do not get to the point where I don't care who sees me. I've actually never understood that. I care very much! I quite like being in the quiet and dark so that I can focus within myself.

Just another perspective.

[lumpentheologie]

I've never given birth and I'm also normally a pretty introverted person, but I hate being in hospitals and always want lots of people I like to take care of me/distract me from the hospital horribleness.  If I have a baby I'll want my partner, my mother, and my best friend there, and if my grandmother were still alive I would want her too. Partner's family can wait outside, though. And I can't imagine wanting men there besides my partner and medical staff, but it's cool that some of you don't care about that. 

[mstee]

I’m due in May. Right after I told my mom that I was pregnant she asked to be in the delivery room. Internally I was like ugh no. But I told her to let me think about it. She lives across the country and is going to fly out early to be here when I go into labor. We need a sitter for our dogs so that part works out. I’m still thinking about the whole delivery room and it stresses me out cause she’s older (not in the best health), I’m her only child, and my friends say I’ll regret not letting her in. But I had hoped for just my husband to be in there. I’m so torn. And then my husband informed me yesterday that of course my mother in law plans on waiting in the waiting room while I give birth so she can pop right in after (I’m already annoyed by her). Like what???? I thought we could call her once labor was over. Noooooooooooo. 

/end vent 

[Shadoewolf]

My mom lived close by for my two oldest, and she kept insisting with my first that she was absolutely going to be in the delivery room even when I told her I didn't want her there. She said I'd change my mind. Nope!! My girls were both evening labors and delivered late into the night. She got a phone call the following morning at 10am. The first time she was miffed, and I told her if she was going to be bitchy about it then she could just forget the hospital visit and see us at home, I was not in the mood for her crap. She shut up really quick. But our relationship was always like that, with me frequently putting her in her place.

[HarleyQuinn]

It's hard for me to understand the perspective of mother's wanting to be in the delivery room because I definitely don't want to be in there for LittleQuinns. I'll be fine just seeing them after the fact. My mom got super offended when I didn't tell her I was in labor, I just texted after  I had the baby and then I wouldn't let her essentially move in with me for a week for "help" I didn't want help, I wanted my husband and I to just do it ourselves. 

So if Jinger doesn't want a circus around her birth, I hope her family understands and backs off. 

[VineHeart137]

@mstee I had no desire to have my mother in the delivery room with me and I definitely don't regret not inviting her. And I agree, I don't do waiting room warriors (unless they're willing to potentially wait hours because I'm not rushing my first time bonding with my child just to play pass the baby). Please don't be afraid to tell everyone, including your husband, what you need! Babies don't spoil, nobody besides you and your husband needs to see baby the second s/he pops out the womb.

I'm so thankful my family on both sides is pretty respectful. My mom never asked about being in the delivery room (it helps that she lives four hours away and works full time so she would've had a hard time being there.) My MIL is in town but she didn't stop by the hospital until we gave the ok. It was all so peaceful.

[Flossie]

A janitor "attended" the birth of my second child.  After a long labor I was moved to a delivery room that was at the end of a short corridor.  There were no other rooms being used in that part of the ward, so it seemed quiet and secluded.  I remember that I thought it was weird that the staff left the door to the corridor open the whole time.  As I started to push, I'd look behind me to see the corridor, where a janitor was mopping.  The closer the baby got to being born, the closer to the open door the janitor got.  Eventually I realized that he was mopping the same few feet of floor and had no intention of moving, but for some reason I didn't say anything.  Maybe it was because my business end was faced away from him and all he could see was the top of my head.  Finally my daughter was born and as the doctor called out "It's a girl!" and held her up for me to see, I glanced back again and saw the janitor had stopped mopping, stared hard for a moment at my newborn and smile.  Then our eyes met and he smiled again, picked up his bucket and left.  Only then did a nurse notice that the door was open and she went over to close it.

It was the strangest thing, that a total stranger was part of such an intimate moment, and I didn't object.  I even enjoy telling that part of the story.  The weirdest part?  If someone I knew,  but didn't want there had tried that, I'd have clamped my legs together as much as possible and screamed to have them removed.  L&D is really something.

Anyway, when the man is doing the delivering, then he can decide who is there, when they come in, and how long they'll stay.  Until then, make your wishes clear at the beginning and the hospital staff will handle the rest.  One woman I knew had her husband insist that he'd film the birth and she didn't want him to.  The OB told him that if he brought a camera into the delivery room she'd have security remove it and if he objected, she'd have him removed, too.  He sulked, but there are no pictures or films of the labor and delivery.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I was all like "the more the merrier" my mom sister father and MIL were up at the hospital in L&D with me, everything happened so early that we really didn't have a chance talk about (he was 4 weeks early) my labor took 22 hours and I finally ended up with a c/section. The only thing that still bugs me to this day is that my mom got to hold him before I did, she was too excited for her 1st grand baby and just snatched him up, dh got to be the 1st person to hold him and that doesn't bother me, I wanted him to have that, but damnit I wanted to see him before my mother did. He was  a late term preemie (born at 36 weeks) so they had neonatologists and the NICU in there just in case so he was whisked away pretty quickly for tests and I told dh to "not let him out of your sight"  I only got a quick glance before he was off to the nursery.

With #2 being planned we left DS with grandma grandpa and Auntie over night so dh got to hold her right away, and I got to see her before she was taken to the nursery for, and she was in my arms and ripping my nipple off when everyone showed up about 5 hours after she was born, it was so much more relaxed and what I wished I'd had the 1st time.

[Four is Enough]

Like the janitor, one evening I was hanging around a delivery room, waiting. That evening, I was the nursing supervisor for the floor. Like @Flossie, it was the laboring mother who noticed me. I told them who I was and apologized, but they did allow me to remain outside the room to   watch the finale. Very gracious, I thought.

[kachuu]

It floors me that from the moment you are pregnant to the point of actual birth, OTHER people think they are able to treat you as if you can't make your own damn decisions anymore. Case in point, another random stranger touches my belly, i'm going to lose it! When did pregnancy equate to a woman's body becoming communal property?

I don't understand other people's need to be in the birth room. Or even that they think their opinion overrides what the laboring mom wants. That just floors me. Who the hell do you think you are?? 

[Cheetah]

2 hours ago, mstee said:

I’m due in May. Right after I told my mom that I was pregnant she asked to be in the delivery room. Internally I was like ugh no. But I told her to let me think about it. She lives across the country and is going to fly out early to be here when I go into labor. We need a sitter for our dogs so that part works out. I’m still thinking about the whole delivery room and it stresses me out cause she’s older (not in the best health), I’m her only child, and my friends say I’ll regret not letting her in. But I had hoped for just my husband to be in there. I’m so torn. And then my husband informed me yesterday that of course my mother in law plans on waiting in the waiting room while I give birth so she can pop right in after (I’m already annoyed by her). Like what???? I thought we could call her once labor was over. Noooooooooooo. 

/end vent 

You and a couple of other people here need DWIL.  (Dealing with In-laws on babycenter).   They are very pro nuclear family over extended relatives, especially pushy extended relatives that stress you out. 

https://community.babycenter.com/groups/a4725