Seewalds 31: Jessa’s Maybe-Baby

[Carm_88]

I have about 450 people on Facebook and most of them are family. So, clearly my family may out Duggar the Duggars!

[Whatthefundie]

It’s Seewald dessert day again 

Pistachio Ice Cream for Ben and Black Cherry Chocolate Chip for Jessa Blessa 

[SadieJane]

Vanilla ice cream sounds so good today. Maybe I should go hang with Jessa and Ben and get some. 

[Yaoichan12]

I have about 100 friends on facebook. Most are family. Some are my close friends and friends of friends that I also hang out with from time to time. Many others are high school classmates or former coworkers that I'm just too nosy to unfriend LOL

[VelociRapture]

I have a little over 180 on Facebook right now. My Instagram is much more restricted at only 34 people (and of that, 11 are family members of myself or my husband.) The difference is that I post often about my daughter and dog on Instagram, while they rarely pop up on Facebook. I use Facebook more to keep up with how others are doing and current events at this point, so I don’t mind having a larger friends list there. I find Instagram’s privacy settings more straight forward and easier to deal with than Facebook, so it’s my social media of choice for more private stuff.

[Sky with diamonds]

I have over 1000 people on my Facebook. I really should cull some of it. I have school, music, jewelry, cancer support friends. All very important for me. 

Family on Facebook can be tough. No joke, I've actually been 'disowned' and bitched out a few times by an Aunt I thought I was very close with. Apparently not. 

5 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I have about 450 people on Facebook and most of them are family. So, clearly my family may out Duggar the Duggars!

And I thought I had a big extended family...wow.

On 2/24/2018 at 2:36 PM, SapphireSlytherin said:

The girls are adored by their nannies, and trotted out for "appearances" on special occasions with their parents. It's truly a different world. We are only peripherally involved with anything these people do, but their social/economic peers all treat their children the same:  they're raised by nannies, and put on display when necessary.

That breaks my heart for those daughters. 

[nst]

oh my i have six friends on facebook and one of them is my gardner....facebook

and my instagram I follow 34 people and i have 16 followers 

i am special 

[Shadoewolf]

43 on my Facebook, mostly relatives and old family friends who want to keep up with my kiddos. Hubby and his family, as much as I love them, are not friended. It's my venting space and I've been burned too many times.

[Nargus]

Y'all have inspired me, I just culled 35 people from my Facebook friends list.  I have a lot of extended family, my husband's family, my close friends (and their spouses) and acquaintances from high school.  The high school people I just keep around so I can update my mom and grandma on who's married and who's having babies.  

There are a few family members who have passed away, but I can't bring myself to take them out of my friends list. My dad's one of them.  

I'm at just over 300 FB 'friends'. 

[Plexus31Wife]

22 hours ago, SadieJane said:

Vanilla ice cream sounds so good today. Maybe I should go hang with Jessa and Ben and get some. 

Wooh, not where I am, that's for sure. It's below freezing! 

[TheRadleyPorch]

On 2/24/2018 at 6:47 PM, BlessaYourHeart said:

I have an uncle and his wife (I will not call her my aunt, she makes it very clear that she doesn’t like me), who are similar to this. Only they had 6 boys and then a girl. They tried and tried until they got a girl. They have a lot of money. 

All my other aunts and uncles (8 of them) had at least one girl each. Except one who had one boy and then was done. My uncles wife couldn’t stand this, she wanted her girl and didn’t think it was fair that she didn’t have one. She wanted the girl to show off and be her mini me, succeed at education, marry some rich man so my uncles wife could boast about her perfect family of boys to carry on the ‘pure’ bloodline and one girl to be the golden girl admired by all. 

Ive spoken about this on here before. 

When they got their girl, they assumed she would be the youngest grandchild doted on by everyone. They named her after my grandmother with the wrong spelling. But hey ho there goes my mum and gets pregnant and ends up with a curly blonde haired, blue eyed (a trade mark look of our family) little girl and names me after my grandmother, with the correct spelling.

My grandmother was dead by the time I was born and my mum had always been a mummy’s girl so of course wanted to honour my grandmother. My uncles wife was furious, seething. It didn’t help that my eldest aunt stepped in and treated me like her own granddaughter so that I wouldn’t miss out on having a grandmother. 

My mum was so close to most of her siblings and done a lot for their kids as they grew up, so naturally they all returned the favour and I became the golden girl, my eldest cousin is 31 years older than me so I also became the baby to all my grown cousins (27ish of them) and they all looked out for me. 

My uncle and his wife’s daughter is loud, boastful, flaky, invades personal space and it draining to be around. I’m much more reserved and polite and just have a more naturally built relationship with the majority of my family. Of course uncles wife sees this, blames me for her daughter not being the youngest and the golden girl and does not try to hide it. I’m over here like ‘Jee sorry for being born ‘. 

I dislike people like her, who don’t realise that money, status and the image of the perfect family isn’t everything. Human relationships are built on much more than that. 

I think I needed that rant. I got engaged last year to a really amazing guy and I’m graduating this year and it’s sparked her fury again, she can’t stand to see me doing well at all! So it’s very fresh in my head. 

11

This...rubs me the wrong way. Your uncle's wife definitely sounds like a pill but you also seem to be taking it out on her daughter, who sounds insecure and is maybe "loud," "boastful" and "invades personal space" because she is insecure about her place in the family and craves the love and acceptance that you have effortlessly gotten from everyone around you. Since you are the "golden girl" and doing so well in life, it seems like you could afford to extend a little more compassion towards someone who's had to deal with a difficult mother and has been a little left out in the cold by the rest of her family...

[Hisey]

22 minutes ago, TheRadleyPorch said:

This...rubs me the wrong way. Your uncle's wife definitely sounds like a pill but you also seem to be taking it out on her daughter, who sounds insecure and is maybe "loud," "boastful" and "invades personal space" because she is insecure about her place in the family and craves the love and acceptance that you have effortlessly gotten from everyone around you. Since you are the "golden girl" and doing so well in life, it seems like you could afford to extend a little more compassion towards someone who's had to deal with a difficult mother and has been a little left out in the cold by the rest of her family...

I agree. If you had 30-40 older cousins/aunts/uncles looking out for you, you are very fortunate indeed. Extend a little grace!

It also seems like your mom behaved a bit oddly, and may have caused some of this dissention. If there is a toddler in the family named, say, Karyn, it seems a bit odd to name your baby girl Karen. Two baby girls with essentially the same name?  Just seems a bit competitive to me, especially since your grandmother had already been honored (and had passed away anyway).

[BlessaYourHeart]

1 hour ago, TheRadleyPorch said:

This...rubs me the wrong way. Your uncle's wife definitely sounds like a pill but you also seem to be taking it out on her daughter, who sounds insecure and is maybe "loud," "boastful" and "invades personal space" because she is insecure about her place in the family and craves the love and acceptance that you have effortlessly gotten from everyone around you. Since you are the "golden girl" and doing so well in life, it seems like you could afford to extend a little more compassion towards someone who's had to deal with a difficult mother and has been a little left out in the cold by the rest of her family...

I never said she had been left out in the cold , Jesus we aren’t that bad of a family .

Also the traits I mention aren’t insecurity, they come from her mother. They are literally two peas on a pod. She’s been told her whole life she’s a special snowflake from her mother and told she’s the best thing in the world and no one else will ever compare to her and the rest of us grandchildren are inferior to her. And it comes accross in how she treats others, as though they are a means to an end and she should always get what she wants. 

I certainly don’t get the effortless love and affection from the whole family, just a big number of them (but we’re a huge family so there’s naturally more numbers). And most of the cousins treat me so well because I’m the baby and so much younger than them, it just something that seems to happen in my family, the youngest of the group gets a slight bit more of special attention, hence my uncles wife wanted her girl to be the youngest. My youngest aunt is 60 and still gets called the baby and gets that extra bit doted on by her siblings because of it. 

Plus the fact that I am the golden girl is more to do with my mum, it’s a reflection on her. She done so much for her siblings and their children, so when she had me naturally they repaid the favour and since there’s only one of me the attention is a lot more focused. 

I’ve tried to be nice and build some sort of relationship with my uncles wife’s daughter (my cousin) but I just can’t bwcause she is just draining as a person. 

1 hour ago, Hisey said:

I agree. If you had 30-40 older cousins/aunts/uncles looking out for you, you are very fortunate indeed. Extend a little grace!

It also seems like your mom behaved a bit oddly, and may have caused some of this dissention. If there is a toddler in the family named, say, Karyn, it seems a bit odd to name your baby girl Karen. Two baby girls with essentially the same name?  Just seems a bit competitive to me, especially since your grandmother had already been honored (and had passed away anyway).

My mum promised my grandmother that she would name her child after her if it was a girl, the first time she got pregnant and lost the baby very early. She carried out that promise with the surprise baby she had no idea she was getting and honoured her mum who she was the closest out of all her siblings to. 

There was no malice or competitiveness in it. My mum was 40 when she had me so it’s not like she was expecting it and had it all planned out. 

[TheRadleyPorch]

@BlessaYourHeart I'll take your word for it on your mother's motivations for giving you the name she did, I don't think it's that odd for two cousins to have the same name, especially in a family as large as yours. As for your cousin though, I just think it's quite possible that there's more to her behavior than you perceive. I often find that when people have "draining" personalities are that way because they're desperately trying to fill an emotional void. And children of parents who praise them indiscriminately DO often grow up to be highly insecure. They've grown to depend on external validation and continue to seek it, often unsuccessfully because they do it in ways that others find irritating (being boastful, invading personal space) which just drives the need and bad behavior even more. I don't mean that your family has literally left your cousin out in the cold, but you said yourself that she doesn't have the loving and supportive relationships with them that you have. I believe you that she's difficult to be around, I know several people who match that description myself! But that doesn't make her undeserving of some empathy, and you can be happy with your family support and successes in life without tearing someone else down. 

[singsingsing]

More Jessa pregnancy speculation:

http://keepingupwithfundies.tumblr.com/post/171323991861/for-me-too-one-announcement-done-one-to-go

 

[BunnyBee]

It could just be a flowy top. I don't know why, but I just don't think she is pregnant. 

Watch an announcement happen tomorrow. 

[Mayluka]

33 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

More Jessa pregnancy speculation:

http://keepingupwithfundies.tumblr.com/post/171323991861/for-me-too-one-announcement-done-one-to-go

 

Here’s a screenshot I took of that boomerang:

That’s definitely Jessa, for those who might question it. She leans forward and helps Spurgeon down the slide, so it’s clear that it’s her.

[llg1234]

Going out on a limb here: I think the constant pregnancy speculation is pretty cringe-worthy. We act like baby number 3 is nbd, been there done that, etc. but here we are inspecting every body shot that comes out. Yeah, pregnancy is the Duggar offspring's bread and butter, but feeding into the constant guessing game doesn't compute with wanting them to have less kids, imo. And what if she isn't pregnant? Jessa's expressed insecurity over her post pregnancy body and it can't feel great to have people looking for the smallest sign of a bump. I dislike Jessa for a lot of reasons, but constant opinions on anyone's body size/shape isn't something anyone should have to deal with. 

She'll probably announce a pregnancy after this and make my rant look stupid.  (and yes, I realize that constant pregnancy speculation comes with being fundie, but inspecting body shots feels ott to me)

[Stormy]

8 minutes ago, llg1234 said:

And what if she isn't pregnant? Jessa's expressed insecurity over her post pregnancy body and it can't feel great to have people looking for the smallest sign of a bump. I dislike Jessa for a lot of reasons, but constant opinions on anyone's body size/shape isn't something anyone should have to deal with.

I like speculation as much as anyone, but I draw the line at trying to point out a possible bump for this very reason. As someone with a naturally-distended tummy that makes me look perpetually three months pregnant (at a relatively petite 5'3" and ~140lbs), I feel this hard.

[SapphireSlytherin]

Jessa is hugely body-conscious, as evidenced by her statements (no, I can't quote them) about losing the last few pounds after Henry was born. She's been shown working out and eating healthy food (weekly ice cream treats notwithstanding).

She was wearing figure-hugging clothing once she lost the last of her Henry baby weight, and now... she's not. At least not in any of the photos of her that have surfaced. I'm calling pregnant.

[singsingsing]

I also personally feel weird/wrong speculating about whether someone's pregnant based on how they look, but I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say it absolutely shouldn't be done (as regards the Duggars). As long as they're actively marketing and profiting off of their militant fecundity, I'm not going to feel overly bad about people saying, "Hmm, she looks like she could be pregnant."

[patsymae]

On 2/21/2018 at 7:48 PM, SapphireSlytherin said:

Yeah - saying Henry was "climbing" everywhere could have come from Jessa's Instagram - she posted a sped-up video of Henry climbing up a toy slide, over and over. Everything the insider posted could easily have come from Jessa's photos/stories.

However, this photo of Jessa from Henry's first birthday party kinda makes me think she's pregnant:

 

I hate that every time I see a picture of Ben he looks like a really good looking, normal guy who is engaged in a healthy way with his kids.

[Nikedagain?]

20 hours ago, Nargus said:

Y'all have inspired me, I just culled 35 people from my Facebook friends list. 

Sis, I went from ~1200 FB friends to around 450 on January 20, 2017.

let's call it the Great Odious Purge....

[eveandadam]

5 hours ago, Stormy said:

I like speculation as much as anyone, but I draw the line at trying to point out a possible bump for this very reason. As someone with a naturally-distended tummy that makes me look perpetually three months pregnant (at a relatively petite 5'3" and ~140lbs), I feel this hard.

x2!!!! I constantly look 3-4 months pregnant because of my belly and for the rest of my body I am very petite. At work, I get asked several times per month of I'm pregnant or not, my employer is worried and he constantly stares at my belly. One time, he even tested and gave champaign to everyone. To this day I think he wanted to know if I'm pregnant or not , aka if I drink the champain or not.

 

 

[clueliss]

Regarding pregnancy bump speculations - allow me to share an incident from 9th grade.  I was in home ec class.  A classmate came up to me, patted my belly and asked how far along I was.  Mind you I already had horrific self-esteem.  I was already the weird kid.  I was already an outcast.  And this only added to the issues.  I am still hugely self-conscious of my body, no matter my weight - 40 years late due to this incident.   (And the classmate was intending to be mean).