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Seewalds 31: Jessa’s Maybe-Baby


Jellybean

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I still have the nagging feeling that it's going to be twins for Jessa and she is already 4-5 months along at this point. But she will probably not announce before Joy's baby is born and before Josiah is not enganged to Lauren.

The show will probably start with Joy's baby announcement and Josiah's engagement announcement. Jessa might announce in mid March.

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I think saying Jessa is trying to get attention out of this is a bit weird.  She can't win either way now, can she?

 

If she is pregnant and she announces it - people say she's doing it for attention. 

If she is pregnant and she does not announce it - because she does not want to take the limelight from Joy and her soon to be born baby, or impending engagement of her brother, or her favourite sisters first pregnancy, or because she does not feel like it yet? She's not announcing it because she is craving attention

If she is not pregnant and she does make a formal announcement, people say why does she just let us know she is not pregnant - Jessa is craving attention. If she would post a picture of her belly, it would be scrutinized and people would call it inmodest and also question that it is an actual picture.

If she is not pregnant and she does not comment the questions wheter she is pregnant, then she is also doing that for attention, because she apperantly is quite 'evil' (insert sarcasm here)

 

So either way, no matter wheter Jessa is pregnant or not, announces or not, people are going to find something wrong about that. I think in her case, if she is pregnant (which I am leaning towards) and she does not announce it yet, she will have her reasons. But she never did that much saying she wanted the attention, other than being unfortunate enough to have a family that wanted to be on TV really badly.

I was thinking about comparing her situation to Kylie Jenner, but ugh. It might seem like I am very very supportive towards Jessa, I know that. I would like to point out that I'm not a huge fan, but I think people are a bit BEC about this possible pregnancy, and I'm slightly jealous of how cute her kids are, but that does not mean that I agree with her views or anything like that. (or that I would want to have kids at this point of my life..)

 

Rant over. ha..

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This is just me personally, I'm fully aware, but with baby number two, I could have happily gone all pregnancy never "announcing it." We didn't tell our families for much longer than we did with baby number one, and the only reason I "announced" on social media was because I wanted it on my timeline to pop up again like DS1. But this time I didn't do that until after the anatomy scan and I knew the sex. I probably won't post about being pregnant again until he's born.

Next time, if there is one, it's probable I'll be even less enamored with the idea. As soon as you tell people you get all their opinions on everything. "Hope it's another boy, you don't want a girl, they're a handful." "Maybe it'll be a girl and then you can be done." And so on. Maybe I want a girl. Maybe I'm like Ben Seewald and want 15 sons. You don't know, Susan

All this to say, that while I'm just as excited about the baby himself, I'm less interested in informing others about the occupation of my uterus. I'm going to project that as a hypothesis to why Jessa could be pregnant at any level and be content waiting any amount of time to let her siblings have their own announcements. If my younger sister were getting engaged/married/having a baby that's obviously going to be more of a novelty to our family and friends than Lizzybee having a third baby.

But then again, I'm not trying to promote a lifestyle for ministry purposes and I hate being the center of attention for any reason so, you know, forget I said anything. 

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We also waited until 20 weeks to announce on social media (we did with the first one as well). So it was a joint "We're expecting!" and "It's a girl!" announcement. We already have a girl and as soon as we announced I got a comment of "You can try for the boy next time!" And I'm just like, how does one TRY for a boy, and also lol psych, this baby factory is closed, suckas! We are two and through! Most of our family members with kids have more than two and also one of each, so I guess it's mind boggling to think we'd be ok with "just" raising two girls?

And yeah, I'm also scratching my head at how Jessa is looking for attention by NOT announcing her (possible) pregnancy. She really can't win either way.

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I just read the "duggarconfessions" page. (I used to read there sometimes, it use to be kind of funny, but there haven't really been many confessions posted recently and most of them are just the same stuff over and over agian.)  Right now there are tons of confessions about how Spurgeon is just running wild and how Jessa is not giving him enough structure etc... I'm just wondering... when was there ever a scene of Spurgeon running wild on counting on? I really can't remember seeing anything unusual, he's just a normal toddler. Of course he is going to cry sometimes, but he's also being very sweet! I just wonder where the people who write those confessions get those ideas from? 

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24 minutes ago, VineHeart137 said:

We also waited until 20 weeks to announce on social media (we did with the first one as well). So it was a joint "We're expecting!" and "It's a girl!" announcement. We already have a girl and as soon as we announced I got a comment of "You can try for the boy next time!" And I'm just like, how does one TRY for a boy, and also lol psych, this baby factory is closed, suckas! We are two and through! Most of our family members with kids have more than two and also one of each, so I guess it's mind boggling to think we'd be ok with "just" raising two girls?

And yeah, I'm also scratching my head at how Jessa is looking for attention by NOT announcing her (possible) pregnancy. She really can't win either way.

That part is so annoying when my cousin and his wife announced they were pregnant a third time and amazing amount of people were very shocked and upset at that.  A third? Why would you want a third? You already have two kids isn't that enough? How could you possibly want a third? You'd think they committed a crime by the way so many people reacted.  Then there were the others who 'understood' because they had two daughters so of course they were trying for a son. As if that made it okay and the only possible reason why they would want a third kid. Of course they couldn't possibly just want a third child. Or they were going to be extremely disappointed if the baby was a girl. Towards the end my cousin and his wife stopped being polite. Asking what did they think they were going to do if it was a third girl give her up for adoption? Why it mattered so much how many kids his and his wife had? Their not the ones going to be supporting and raising three kids. Pointing out it was up to him and his wife how many children to have no one else. Of course they thought he was 'rude' but many of them stopped talking to both of them which really wasn't a bad thing.      

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After adopting One and Two at birth, and both being boys, we realized we'd love a girl, too. So we wondered how to guarantee a girl. Our answer was: adopt one already born! So we got Three, male, and Four, female, from foster to adopt, and we are happpy for the way it turned out. And that's how we "tried" for our girl. 

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13 hours ago, neurogirl said:

@SassyPants No but I will be serving it outside in a courtyard in July! If I give people a sit-down dinner beforehand does that make it ok?????? I NEED FJ APPROVAL! :my_tongue: 

Sounds like a fantastic event- Congrats!!!!

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2 hours ago, lizzybee said:

This is just me personally, I'm fully aware, but with baby number two, I could have happily gone all pregnancy never "announcing it." We didn't tell our families for much longer than we did with baby number one, and the only reason I "announced" on social media was because I wanted it on my timeline to pop up again like DS1. But this time I didn't do that until after the anatomy scan and I knew the sex. I probably won't post about being pregnant again until he's born.

Next time, if there is one, it's probable I'll be even less enamored with the idea. As soon as you tell people you get all their opinions on everything. "Hope it's another boy, you don't want a girl, they're a handful." "Maybe it'll be a girl and then you can be done." And so on. Maybe I want a girl. Maybe I'm like Ben Seewald and want 15 sons. You don't know, Susan

All this to say, that while I'm just as excited about the baby himself, I'm less interested in informing others about the occupation of my uterus. I'm going to project that as a hypothesis to why Jessa could be pregnant at any level and be content waiting any amount of time to let her siblings have their own announcements. If my younger sister were getting engaged/married/having a baby that's obviously going to be more of a novelty to our family and friends than Lizzybee having a third baby.

But then again, I'm not trying to promote a lifestyle for ministry purposes and I hate being the center of attention for any reason so, you know, forget I said anything. 

This is how I’m feeling too. I really didn’t post much about my pregnancy online - and what I did post was mostly deleted afterwards. I’m leaning towards being even more private next time, mostly because I don’t have a track record of carrying to term and I don’t want any helpful advice or comments or anything. We’re going to be worried enough as it is without all that. I think we’ll tell people who need to know in person and wait to announce online until we’re well into the second trimester. 

I’m also hoping we can make it to 13 weeks before telling our families. Last time I didn’t have much choice, but to tell our immediate families either before or at the 8 week mark.

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27 minutes ago, JordynDarby5 said:

That part is so annoying when my cousin and his wife announced they were pregnant a third time and amazing amount of people were very shocked and upset at that.  A third? Why would you want a third? You already have two kids isn't that enough? How could you possibly want a third? You'd think they committed a crime by the way so many people reacted.  Then there were the others who 'understood' because they had two daughters so of course they were trying for a son. As if that made it okay and the only possible reason why they would want a third kid. Of course they couldn't possibly just want a third child. Or they were going to be extremely disappointed if the baby was a girl. Towards the end my cousin and his wife stopped being polite. Asking what did they think they were going to do if it was a third girl give her up for adoption? Why it mattered so much how many kids his and his wife had? Their not the ones going to be supporting and raising three kids. Pointing out it was up to him and his wife how many children to have no one else. Of course they thought he was 'rude' but many of them stopped talking to both of them which really wasn't a bad thing.      

Can people not say congratulations or say nothing. No kids yet but when I do if anyone posts rude stuff or says it to my face they will be told to but out. My sister has two boys and my brother has two girls, both were asked after second child if they were disappointed in not having one of each. My brother did always say he wanted a boy, he also wanted a brother and got two sisters but he is happy with his two beautiful daughters and said if they decided to have another he'd be happy to have three daughters. 

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8 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

This is how I’m feeling too. I really didn’t post much about my pregnancy online - and what I did post was mostly deleted afterwards. I’m leaning towards being even more private next time, mostly because I don’t have a track record of carrying to term and I don’t want any helpful advice or comments or anything. We’re going to be worried enough as it is without all that. I think we’ll tell people who need to know in person and wait to announce online until we’re well into the second trimester. 

I’m also hoping we can make it to 13 weeks before telling our families. Last time I didn’t have much choice, but to tell our immediate families either before or at the 8 week mark.

We didn't announce until 16 weeks with either kid.

My SILs (2) announced before me, and both were due with their second kids after me-

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She could be waiting until she knows the sex, that way if it is a girl she can make a huge deal out of being the first sister to have a girl. (Though I still think Jinger might have a girl)

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3 hours ago, lizzybee said:

As soon as you tell people you get all their opinions on everything. "Hope it's another boy, you don't want a girl, they're a handful." "Maybe it'll be a girl and then you can be done." And so on. Maybe I want a girl. Maybe I'm like Ben Seewald and want 15 sons. You don't know, Susan

46 minutes ago, JordynDarby5 said:

That part is so annoying when my cousin and his wife announced they were pregnant a third time and amazing amount of people were very shocked and upset at that.  A third? Why would you want a third? You already have two kids isn't that enough? How could you possibly want a third? You'd think they committed a crime by the way so many people reacted.  Then there were the others who 'understood' because they had two daughters so of course they were trying for a son. 

@JordynDarby5 This is crazy to me! I have a big family though so people give you a hard time for only wanting 1 or 2 kids. 

@lizzybee HaHa yes! People kept asking me if I was disappointed I was having a boy when I was pregnant. I either said I'll forgive you for asking if you forgive me for not answering or (since we are fairly religious) we would tell them that every child is a gift no matter the sex. Both responses shut them up pretty quickly.

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59 minutes ago, JordynDarby5 said:

That part is so annoying when my cousin and his wife announced they were pregnant a third time and amazing amount of people were very shocked and upset at that.  A third? Why would you want a third? You already have two kids isn't that enough? How could you possibly want a third? You'd think they committed a crime by the way so many people reacted.  Then there were the others who 'understood' because they had two daughters so of course they were trying for a son. As if that made it okay and the only possible reason why they would want a third kid. Of course they couldn't possibly just want a third child. Or they were going to be extremely disappointed if the baby was a girl. Towards the end my cousin and his wife stopped being polite. Asking what did they think they were going to do if it was a third girl give her up for adoption? Why it mattered so much how many kids his and his wife had? Their not the ones going to be supporting and raising three kids. Pointing out it was up to him and his wife how many children to have no one else. Of course they thought he was 'rude' but many of them stopped talking to both of them which really wasn't a bad thing.      

I understand this so much. I am currently pregnant with #3. My husband and I already have one girl and one boy. Nearly everyone was shocked when I got pregnant again - assuming because we have one of each that we should be done. Also, we've had a lot of opinions on having #2 and #3 so close together. My body, my choice. My life, my choice. We waited nearly 5 years between the first two and we wanted just one more but wanted to go ahead and do it now. I get it - everyone can have their opinion, but I'm tired of having to explain myself and answer rude and stupid questions and I'm only 17 weeks. I'm raising them. I don't need any help nor do I ask for any so ugh. Sorry - needed to rant. 

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it seems everyone is in a mood to rant today... 

i think the question wheter you're disappointed about either sex is ridiculous. even if you were, you wouldn't say it (unless you're very very strange) and you couldn't change it anyways...

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6 minutes ago, Chippy said:

I understand this so much. I am currently pregnant with #3. My husband and I already have one girl and one boy. Nearly everyone was shocked when I got pregnant again - assuming because we have one of each that we should be done. Also, we've had a lot of opinions on having #2 and #3 so close together. My body, my choice. My life, my choice. We waited nearly 5 years between the first two and we wanted just one more but wanted to go ahead and do it now. I get it - everyone can have their opinion, but I'm tired of having to explain myself and answer rude and stupid questions and I'm only 17 weeks. I'm raising them. I don't need any help nor do I ask for any so ugh. Sorry - needed to rant. 

No problem.  Its ridiculous that you, my cousin or anyone has to explain why their having a third child. That you have to deal with people being rude and asking stupid questions and that people think its completely okay to be rude and ask stupid questions.           

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It's so weird that anyone would be shocked by someone having a third kid. I guess the expectation is that people have two kids, but my first thought after the announcement would just be "well, guess they wanted a bigger family." I can see casually asking if they want even more kids and are going for a larger family, but shock? That's just odd to me.

It's not the majority, but I know plenty of (non-religious) people who have three or four kids. 

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This is just more "control" of women's reproduction. Everyone has their ideal family, the size the genders blah blah blah, You get married the next question "when are you going to have a baby?" You have baby then "when are you going to have another baby?" you eventually have baby #2 then if you get pregnant again those same people will say "what you already have 2 kids why?"  People are never happy, unless they are complaining, judging.  So annoying. 

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I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but I totally don't understand the concept of "announcing" a pregnancy on social media. Like before we had FB, would you send out 400 letters announcing to close friends and random people you went to high school with 15 years ago that you were pregnant? It's just so bizarre. I didn't announce with either of my children - the people who I am close with and who matter all knew because I informed them, and the rest, frankly, who cares? And my pregnancies were hard earned - 5 fresh IVFs, 3 FETs, 6 miscarriages...so we were definitely super excited and definitely appreciated the pregnancies on a whole other level.

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1 minute ago, AtlanticTug said:

I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but I totally don't understand the concept of "announcing" a pregnancy on social media. Like before we had FB, would you send out 400 letters announcing to close friends and random people you went to high school with 15 years ago that you were pregnant? It's just so bizarre. I didn't announce with either of my children - the people who I am close with and who matter all knew because I informed them, and the rest, frankly, who cares? And my pregnancies were hard earned - 5 fresh IVFs, 3 FETs, 6 miscarriages...so we were definitely super excited and definitely appreciated the pregnancies on a whole other level.

Before Facebook you would probably announce to friends and family who you didn’t see on a regular basis by email, over the phone, or by letter. Not many people write letters these days, and I think those sort of ‘family update’ emails have mostly fallen by the wayside too. For better or for worse, Facebook has become the primary means of staying in touch for many people. Announcing via Facebook is quick and easy, you know you’re reaching pretty much everyone you’d like to hear the news, and everyone gets it at the same time. 

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11 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Announcing via Facebook is quick and easy, you know you’re reaching pretty much everyone you’d like to hear the news, and everyone gets it at the same time. 

I guess to me it doesn't matter if everybody gets it at the same time. I did a combination of telling people directly (parents/siblings, close friends), telling some people via a group e-mail, texting some others whom I don't e-mail regularly. My parents also spread the news among our more distant aunts/uncles and it wouldn't have dawned on me to call these people and tell them. Honestly people don't care that much that person X with whom they're not close is knocked up. I mean they all send their congratulations one way or another but it's not a big deal.

And there have been so many times where the announcement is so over the top. I know one couple who hired a professional videographer to put together a video announcement/reveal and they did multiple takes of them, for example, getting out of the car to go into the ultrasound place, a clip of their obstetrician, etc. To each their own, but I couldn't help thinking this was more a self-indulgence for them than it was about letting loved ones know about a baby...Obviously most announcements are a lot simpler than this.

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19 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

I guess to me it doesn't matter if everybody gets it at the same time. I did a combination of telling people directly (parents/siblings, close friends), telling some people via a group e-mail, texting some others whom I don't e-mail regularly. My parents also spread the news among our more distant aunts/uncles and it wouldn't have dawned on me to call these people and tell them. Honestly people don't care that much that person X with whom they're not close is knocked up. I mean they all send their congratulations one way or another but it's not a big deal.

And there have been so many times where the announcement is so over the top. I know one couple who hired a professional videographer to put together a video announcement/reveal and they did multiple takes of them, for example, getting out of the car to go into the ultrasound place, a clip of their obstetrician, etc. To each their own, but I couldn't help thinking this was more a self-indulgence for them than it was about letting loved ones know about a baby...Obviously most announcements are a lot simpler than this.

Okay... so do it the way you want to do it. I guess I’m confused as to what the issue with people choosing to announce via Facebook is. No one’s forcing you to. I actually enjoy seeing pregnancy announcements from old childhood friends and the like. It’s nice to see what’s going on in their lives, and I get to feel happy for them. It’s a joyful event for a lot of people and they want to share their joy. Some people are over the top with everything on social media, and I find it annoying too, but I just scroll past them or hide their posts. Most announcements I see aren’t like that.

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I’m the third child and my parents had one girl and one boy before me. I’m unsure if they were given a hard time about already having one of each and why they wanted a third. However, I do get to brag that I was the only planned one :my_blush:

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I'm the third child.I have two older brothers,and one younger brother.All of us were by C section,in the late 50's,early 60's.The OB Gyn asked my mother why she was having a fourth child.He told her,at that time,she could have had a tubal ligation ,after her second birth.He told her when he did the C section,once he made the incision,he could see the baby..my mother believed her uterus could have ruptured.My grandmother said she didn't understand why my parents had a fourth child,either...because,after the first ,two,they had a girl,me. I received comments when I was pregnant with my third son.My mother in law told me I would never have a girl,and girls were/are harder to raise.Umm,how did she know this????She had four sons.I admit,I would have loved to have had a girl.People asked if I would have a fourth child ,or keep trying until I had a girl.My mother in law insisted that the gender you produce,is hereditary.If,that is the case,I probably would have had more boys.Boys are plentiful on both Mr Melon's side of the family and my side of the family.

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1 hour ago, AtlanticTug said:

I guess to me it doesn't matter if everybody gets it at the same time. I did a combination of telling people directly (parents/siblings, close friends), telling some people via a group e-mail, texting some others whom I don't e-mail regularly. My parents also spread the news among our more distant aunts/uncles and it wouldn't have dawned on me to call these people and tell them. Honestly people don't care that much that person X with whom they're not close is knocked up. I mean they all send their congratulations one way or another but it's not a big deal.

And there have been so many times where the announcement is so over the top. I know one couple who hired a professional videographer to put together a video announcement/reveal and they did multiple takes of them, for example, getting out of the car to go into the ultrasound place, a clip of their obstetrician, etc. To each their own, but I couldn't help thinking this was more a self-indulgence for them than it was about letting loved ones know about a baby...Obviously most announcements are a lot simpler than this.

Announcing via Facebook was a celebratory thing for us because I miscarried at almost 6 weeks the first time around. We spent most of my pregnancy pretty nervous and worried because of our loss (as I’m sure a lot of parents can understand), so having some milestones  - like getting out of the first trimester - to celebrate (whether publicly or privately) was helpful in helping us relax and feel more confident. You don’t sound like you needed that and that’s awesome, but it was helpful for my husband and I. 

(And our announcement was pretty simple. We took a photo of our dog sitting next to a chalkboard that said “Big Sis” on it the same day I found out I was pregnant. That’s actually how I told my husband we were going to be parents - he walked in the door and saw our wildly excited dog next to the sign. The photo is actually pretty cute because she looked so stinking proud, almost like the whole baby thing was her idea. :pb_lol:)

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Okay... so do it the way you want to do it. I guess I’m confused as to what the issue with people choosing to announce via Facebook is. No one’s forcing you to. I actually enjoy seeing pregnancy announcements from old childhood friends and the like. It’s nice to see what’s going on in their lives, and I get to feel happy for them. It’s a joyful event for a lot of people and they want to share their joy. Some people are over the top with everything on social media, and I find it annoying too, but I just scroll past them or hide their posts. Most announcements I see aren’t like that.

I enjoy seeing them too. With everything happening in the world right now it can honestly be really nice getting to see people so happy and excited over major life milestones like finishing college, being promoted, marriage, and babies (among others.) 

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