Seewalds 31: Jessa’s Maybe-Baby

[shiverful]

I don't believe anything in In Touch unless the police report is attached. 

 

[Nargus]

I won't believe it until she posts a video on Instagram that says "Hey y'all, we have some exciting news to share, click the link in our bio to see what it is"

[SapphireSlytherin]

2 minutes ago, Nargus said:

I won't believe it until she posts a video on Instagram that says "Hey y'all, we have some exciting news to share, click the link in our bio to see what it is"

And when you click the link, you'll see she's cleaned her house (and bought another swing dress). That's all. lol

[Thorkim1954]

3 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I'll wait to see a proper announcement! Although to be honest, I wouldn't be shocked!  

That's how I feel.

[potato]

23 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

She's out shopping for more Old Navy swing dresses.

My mom DID get an email saying that some of their dresses are 50% off today...

[DillyDally]

"Exciting news" or "exciting family announcement" always means a pregnancy. All that fuss with "click on the link to find out what it is" OMG SO MUCH SUSPENSE.

NOT 

I also call bullshit on the inTouch article, but it will be interesting to see if/how they respond to it. I remember J'chelle making fun about a cover story claiming they are getting divorced and there was a total riddiculous claim about one of the young couples (Ben and Jessa even?) as well...

[WhyNotJulie]

18 minutes ago, DillyDally said:

"Exciting news" or "exciting family announcement" always means a pregnancy. All that fuss with "click on the link to find out what it is" OMG SO MUCH SUSPENSE.

It doesn't always mean a pregnancy!! Sometimes it means an engagement.

[Ivycoveredtower]

17 minutes ago, WhyNotJulie said:

It doesn't always mean a pregnancy!! Sometimes it means an engagement.

Or a courtship, and you can't forget those gender reveals. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

In Touch also said that being four months along means that the baby will be born in four months. I certainly hope not.

[SapphireSlytherin]

But but but... In Touch hires journalists, not mathematicians.... 

 

/sarcasm

[singsingsing]

IF Jessa is actually pregnant (big if), the theory that she's waiting in order to stagger all the announcements coming out to Duggarville does make sense.

December: Kendra announces first pregnancy

January: Jinger announces first pregnancy. Josiah announces courtship.

February: Kendra announces the sex of her baby. Baby Forsyth born.

March: Josiah announces his engagement. And it's always possible that Jinger and Jeremy are planning to announce the sex of their baby sometime soon.

Then there's a gap until June when Kendra is (probably) due to the deliver, or the gap could be a little smaller if Josiah is getting married in May.

So it's not outside the realm of possibility that Jessa, on Baby #3 now, would take all that into consideration and figure announcing her pregnancy 'late', during the lull, would be a good idea.

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

IF Jessa is actually pregnant (big if), the theory that she's waiting in order to stagger all the announcements coming out to Duggarville does make sense.

December: Kendra announces first pregnancy

January: Jinger announces first pregnancy. Josiah announces courtship.

February: Kendra announces the sex of her baby. Baby Forsyth born.

March: Josiah announces his engagement. And it's always possible that Jinger and Jeremy are planning to announce the sex of their baby sometime soon.

Then there's a gap until June when Kendra is (probably) due to the deliver, or the gap could be a little smaller if Josiah is getting married in May.

So it's not outside the realm of possibility that Jessa, on Baby #3 now, would take all that into consideration and figure announcing her pregnancy 'late', during the lull, would be a good idea.

Jessa always did like the surprise she was 14 weeks with Henry before she even told Michelle and most of her siblings. not sure how long after she announced to the world. I could see her being well into her second trimester before announcing. 

[Bushes of Love]

4 hours ago, shiverful said:

I don't believe anything in In Touch unless the police report is attached. 

 

There’s also a Daily Mail article about it. I’m not going to post a link because the Daily Fail is hardly a bastion of truth. 

[OhNoNike]

1 hour ago, Bushes of Love said:

There’s also a Daily Mail article about it. I’m not going to post a link because the Daily Fail is hardly a bastion of truth. 

They also noted the In Touch article as their source...

[CancerBomb]

She could just be waiting to ride out the miscarriage period. I doubt she's experienced a miscarriage, but until 12 weeks there's a chance of miscarriage, once out of the first trimester the risk is significantly lowered. It is possible to notice if someone's pregnant in the first trimester, it depends on a lot of different factors, for example, with Joy, it became noticable quickly that she was expecting. 

[Kailash]

I don’t think it’s fair for parents who give up a child to remain anonymous if the child is looking for information, even if the medical history has been detailed. Babies adopted at birth didn’t ask to be given away. Actions have consequences, most far reaching. Giving a child up for adoption affects the mother and child for their lifetime, whether or not she wants to accept that. It’s just one more reason I believe birth control and abortion must be kept accessible. If you (general you), don’t want the possibility of a biological child knocking on your door someday then perhaps adoption is not the best option for you. I get so angry when people act like giving a child up for adoption is easy. Nothing about it is easy. Not knowing one’s history can have devastating consequences.

[SapphireSlytherin]

Birth parents have every.right to remain anonymous. Providing a medical history is a good thing, and I think that should be part of the deal, though. Yes, it affects the mother, the father, the child, all the grandparents, friends, etc., for life - but if the birth mother doesn't want to be contacted, nobody should be able to force her to show herself.

Nobody has EVER - and especially on FJ - said it was "easy" to give up a child. Quite the contrary.

[TatiFish9]

@Kailash I also agree it is not fair to the child but so many things are not fair. None of us choose what we are born into. It causes great pain on both sides. I have seen one case particularly where the birth parent wanted to remain anonymous then went looking for child later on.

I also know of a case where the child somehow found the birth parent and the birth parent wanted no contact because others in their life did not know a child was given up.

This kind of thing is difficult all around which is why some choose not to give birth at all to spare the child a future where they will always wonder.

[Rachel333]

18 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

@Kailash I also agree it is not fair to the child but so many things are not fair.

And you could say the same thing in reverse: it might not be fair to birth parents who want to remain anonymous, but things often just aren't fair.

I think the adoptee is the highest priority here -- unlike both sets of parents, adoptees never chose adoption (unless it's an older child, but that's a different situation from the kind we're talking about) -- and while I really do sympathize with birth parents who want to remain anonymous, I lean towards thinking that adoptees should have the right to know where they came from. I do think though that birth parents have no obligation to stay in contact if that isn't what they want.

It's a difficult situation at any rate and I feel for both the adoptees and the birth parents there.

[Kailash]

@SapphireSlytherin I didn’t mean to imply anyone on FJ said adoption was easy. I was referring to pro life arguements mostly.

eta: I disagree that parents have every right to remain anonymous. Why is the birth parent’s privacy more important than an innocent child’s right to know?

[Toothfairy]

5 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Birth parents have every.right to remain anonymous. Providing a medical history is a good thing, and I think that should be part of the deal, though. Yes, it affects the mother, the father, the child, all the grandparents, friends, etc., for life - but if the birth mother doesn't want to be contacted, nobody should be able to force her to show herself.

Nobody has EVER - and especially on FJ - said it was "easy" to give up a child. Quite the contrary.

Sorry, adoptees come first. Yes if the birth mother does not want contact that she be honored however adoptees have every right to know their birth parents. When you bring a child into this world and choose adoption that child has every right to their history. There are adoptees who'e contacted their birth moms and their birth moms didn't want contact. Birth moms have to understand their child has every right to know who they are. 

4 hours ago, Kailash said:

@SapphireSlytherin I didn’t mean to imply anyone on FJ said adoption was easy. I was referring to pro life arguements mostly.

eta: I disagree that parents have every right to remain anonymous. Why is the birth parent’s privacy more important than an innocent child’s right to know?

I hate pro-ife folks when they say this. First, theure talking about babies not the 9 year old or teen in foster care. Second, adoption is about parenting nor pregnancy. Placing your own child for adoption isn't easy and is lifetime grieving and loss. Maybe pro-ife folks who say choose adoption should give their own kids up for adoption

16 hours ago, Irishy said:

Ireland has a horrible history when it comes to adoption. The Catholic Church held such power over the state, unmarried mothers were forced into mother and baby homes, effectively imprisoned, gave birth in agony and were told - you had your fun, now feel the pain. Their babies were either sold to American adoptive parents through the church, adopted in Ireland or left to rot in orphanages and industrial schools where horrific physical and sexual abuse took place. The mothers often lived out their days in the mother and baby homes (Magdalene laundries) working for no pay, unless their families claimed them post birth. This practice happened right up until the 70s. The last of the laundries closed in the 90s, and the elderly women who’d spent their lives there were moved on to convents. I highly recommend the movie The Magdalene Sisters for some insight.

 

I’ve been reading the last few pages with interest. I am always surprised that the practice of adoption is still so prevalent in the US. Today there is almost no adoption in Ireland, except through foreign adoption from China, Russia, and interestingly most frequently from the US. There are almost no Irish babies placed for adoption.

 

Perhaps in a response to ireland’s past adoption misdeeds, very few people in crisis pregnancy would even consider adoption. There is adequate financial support and housing available to a single parent, although the system is far from perfect. Abortion is still illegal in Ireland (for now) but that doesn’t mean there is no abortion in Ireland. Cheap flights to the UK, the availability of the abortion pill, and the help of various organisations who will help you procure pills or help fund your trip to the UK, means abortion is available to almost anyone who needs it. We have a referendum coming up in May to repeal the 8th amendment to our constitution (which gives equal rights to the unborn), wish us luck! #repealthe8th

 

Culturally, Irish people do not consider adoption to be a great thing. It’s always considered that the best place for a child is with its mother, and that the mother should be supported in every way. The best interests of the child always come first. A popular saying is - Adoption should mean a home for a child, not a child for a home. There is no emphasis placed on an adult’s ‘right’ to adopt. 

 

Having said that, there are plenty of older children in long term foster care in Ireland who cannot be adopted because their parents have not relinquished their rights. Fun fact: In Ireland, if you are married with existing children, and wish to place your newborn baby for adoption (something I see on those American adoption story shows on TLC etc), you cannot do this without declaring yourself unfit to parent your other children and relinquishing your rights to those children too. (Something we like to tell the anti-choice brigade when they suggest adoption as an alternative to abortion, considering the vast majority of abortions are sought by women who already have children)

USA has a history like this. During the baby scoop era young unmarried women who sent away to Catholic homes or ranches to give birth. Then their baby was taken from them never to be seen again. It was horrible. It' still happening nut it's not common. It' usually the Christian agencies doing it. 

On 3/13/2018 at 7:40 PM, sleepy_doggos said:

 

My mother and her three siblings were adopted as infants through Catholic Charities in the Southern US from separate families in the 1950s and 60s. As an adult she has found both her birth parents and helped her siblings find theirs as well if they wished. She has mentioned many times how difficult both Catholic Charities and the birthmothers made their information-- they falsified their own names, records were lost or destroyed by the charity, nonidentifying info was useless. As a daughter of someone adopted, I can say that the trauma of adoption is extremely complicated and affected our family's and my own psychological experience. Finding her parents through DNA and the records that were available was one of the most healing things that occurred for my mother and myself, though I am not sure if it mattered as much to my own siblings. I also don't know how it has affected my mother's siblings or if they have been in any contact with their own birth parents. Two of them have expressed that even though they have found their birth parents, they really don't feel parental connections to their birth parents.

My mother was able to meet her birth mother before her death + attend her funeral, though her birth father died shortly before she found him. She has also been in contact with her half siblings on both sides which is incredibly fascinating.

The psychology of adoption/separation trauma will always personally matter to me because of this. Not to mention my mother and her siblings were adopted into an abusive home, partially because my grandparents did not know (or care?) how to deal with the trauma their adoptive children already had upon adoption.

Edited for riffles.

Yes. I'm an adoptive mom and no matter what I can't take my adopted kids pain away. What do you tell a child who thinks their birth family does not love them? What do you say when they ask about medical information? I had to leave the family history space blank because I don't know everything. Adoption isn't all happy and smiles. It's pain and hardships. Many adoptees do grieve and feel unwanted. Some have issues throughout their life. Now there's DNA testing kits but it' still hard. 

Jessa will announce in the fall maybe. 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

5 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Birth parents have every.right to remain anonymous. Providing a medical history is a good thing, and I think that should be part of the deal, though. Yes, it affects the mother, the father, the child, all the grandparents, friends, etc., for life - but if the birth mother doesn't want to be contacted, nobody should be able to force her to show herself.

Nobody has EVER - and especially on FJ - said it was "easy" to give up a child. Quite the contrary.

If the birth mother doesn't want to be contacted it is her right, but she can't remain anonymous to her offspring. Everyone of us has a right to know their roots. Here you have the right to know who your blood relatives are but you don't have the right to have contact with people who don't want to have a contact with you.

[FundMe]

I finally got up the nerve to find my birth father when I was in my 20's.  Long story short, he was dead, from a self inflicted gunshot.  So yeah , no happy ending there.

[Chewing Gum]

14 minutes ago, SawScar2017 said:

I finally got up the nerve to find my birth father when I was in my 20's.  Long story short, he was dead, from a self inflicted gunshot.  So yeah , no happy ending there.

I’m sorry you didn’t get to know him. Did you manage to connect to the family from his side? 

[Kailash]

1 hour ago, SawScar2017 said:

I finally got up the nerve to find my birth father when I was in my 20's.  Long story short, he was dead, from a self inflicted gunshot.  So yeah , no happy ending there.

It’s not always about a happy ending though. It’s about knowing. I’m sorry for your loss.