Why are the Duggars still on?

[JordynDarby5]

My first episode was the one with Jordyn's birth. I thought the kids were cute, I liked them picking out a name together and they seemed fun. The kids seemed to get along and like each other. I've always been interested in big families. My parents always talked about their big families uncles, aunts and tons of cousins. I loved the original Cheaper by the Dozen and original Yours, Mine and Ours. The only weird part was them explaining the dancing which I didn't understand. A toddler dancing to music isn't exactly unheard of.  Netflix had the first specials and episodes so I rented them. The first special is what opened my eyes. Michelle talking about handing off her baby at six months. I couldn't believe she said that on tape. I couldn't believe I was watching four girls do everything. That's the part that still surprises me. How much they don't hide. They admit to hand over their baby to their teenage daughter to raise. They show the girls doing everything. Jackson got lost at the airport his parents didn't even notice. When Jim Bob went to get him he doesn't run, he doesn't act like a father who's child was missing. Later they show Jana comforting Jackson. Not his parents. There's so many scenes of Michelle and JB being crappy parents. Leaving their premie baby in the hands of teenagers and leaving the country. Michelle leaving the hospital to go protest against a store for selling booze. JB's weird competitiveness against his sons. Their kids only options is marriage. No college, nothing. Michelle almost flipping out at Ben and Jessa holding hands the night before they got engaged. Not learning anything from Josie's birth. That was all before the scandals hit. And they still have fans. Their still on the air. They still have defenders. I know there's people who are fans of serial killers and having seen people defending Roy Moore. I can't believe that anymore then Leghumpers. I am so happy that there's this place. That their are people who see the family for what it really is.  Sees how horrible the parents are, the crappy situation the kids are stuck in, and how toxic their beliefs are. A place where people know child abuse and sexual abuse is wrong.              

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, Bad Wolf said:

Michelle made Josie wear a little jacket over her flower girl dress for modesty. 

Implying that, among that crowd, they think men can be defrauded by children under ten.  So sick.

[SPHASH]

My first ever Duggar episode was when Jackson was born.  I thought they were odd but harmless.  What set the alarms off for me was Smuggar and Smug Anna's wedding when Pa Keller insisted Jesus used grape juice and not wine, Boob's weird sex talk with Smuggar, and the transfer of authority of SmugAnna to Smuggar.

[HarleyQuinn]

I started watching them (and found FJ!) When the J'Slaves wrote their book and quotes were being shared. I had to see this trainwreck.

[Markie]

My first Duggar episode was 14 Children and Pregnant Again. I was fascinated with the large family. There were several Mennonite families near where I grew up and the Duggars reminded me of them. Michelle's saccharine sweetness and JimBob's Aw Shucks! personality made me a bit skeptical but the kids did appear to be earnest. I felt sorry for the poor little girls (Jana and Jill) who were doing so much of the daily house work and childcare. Josh was well spoken and had such a keen interest for learning that I was sad when it was revealed what he had been doing to his sisters about that time. The girls' frumpers were so ugly and the boys fully buttoned up polo shirts were so nerdy! And Michelle's make up and hair!!! 

[karen77]

My first was also 14 and pregnant again, watched a few of those and thought they were freaks, obviously. Then, they were just in the background mentally for me for a long while, caught back up with them around when Jill and Jessa started courting, had a lot to catch up on!!

 

I also wonder if the wholesome thing worked for people for a while (pre-scandal) because the kids were all still at home, except Josh, and not married yet, but also, not that old to make it stand out.

Now that there are MANY 18+ kids and NONE of them are doing anything with themselves besides getting married and pumping out kids (minus maybe JD) it is starting to expose them for what they are doing or have done to their kids, stunted them and are not allowing them to move out and on. You know?

[Shadoewolf]

And yet the leghumpers are almost rabid over on DFO.  "Oh It's so nice to see a good Christian family.". "At least they have morals and values". "Their kids are SO well behaved". And yet when you point out the truth or in some cases post it directly in their face, they still refuse to see and you're considered just another hater. It's sick the mental gymnastics people go to to make excuses for them. Except promoting the Pearls. DFO just promoted the Fort Rock events and people are in an uproar.  It's crickets from their usual fans except like one lone leghumper who says there's no way the Duggars would do such things and she'll go research the Pearls for herself. 

But unless the sponsors drop like they did with Josh's scandals, nothing will change with the show.

[Queen]

On 2018-02-10 at 5:19 PM, singsingsing said:

They actually hid their worst aspects pretty well. Also, keep in mind, many of their admirers may not be as extreme as they are, but they are also misogynistic, intolerant, probably spank their children, are against gay rights, anti-abortion, etc. The Duggars presented as a shiny happy Christian family who just happened to have a ton of kids and lived by those good old 'traditional' values.

Other people might be too far removed from far right fundamentalist Christian culture in America to realize (at least at first) how truly fucked up it is. This was me. Way back in my early early 20s, I was a wannabe fundie. Why? My own life was a mess, I was struggling with anxiety and depression, and I wanted answers, rules, and someone to tell me what to do! Dressing up in long skirts and going to church and being nice to everyone and following a bunch of rules seemed like a nice life to me. I didn't know any actual fundies, nor had I been exposed to the dark sides of that culture, because I live in an urban area in Canada and was raised in a secular, liberal household.

I never even came close to actually being a fundie, but there was definitely a time that I thought the Duggars were swell people, and maybe they were way more conservative than me, but gosh darnit they weren't hurting anyone! When I first started lurking on FJ, I thought that FJ was TERRIBLE. EVIL. NASTY. CRUEL. But I paid attention to what was said here. I learned about what the Duggars actually stood for, about ATI, IBLP, the Pearls, all the fuckery that goes on in these circles, the very real consequences for real people, and my attitude changed. Finding FJ actually had a lot to do with ending my flirtation with supporting* fundamentalist Christianity, so thanks, ya'll.

*Again, I never could have been a fundie myself. I liked beer and believed in evolution and could not relinquish my scary librul political views, like universal healthcare being the bee's knees. But I really, really wanted all the parts I liked about fundamentalism, minus all the bits I didn't like, and I tried pretty hard for a while to reconcile it. And some of those beliefs really screwed with my head. I can only imagine what it's like to actually be entrenched in real fundamentalism for years. Major props to those of you who have gotten out.

Thank you so much for sharing! I grew up in a Christian home, my parents are pretty liberal now but were very strict when I was growing up, for example forbiding me from listening to/reading/watching a lot of pop culture, even media aimed at children, because they were just too violent or all about sex, according to my mom. I've never longed for more rules because I had plenty, and I've also seen the dark sides of religion, which might vaccinate me from fundamentalism? I also have almost no respect for authorities unless I think they know what they are doing, and I tend to doubt everything. Maybe that's why I don't see why the Duggars are appealing. But you explained your story very well! Thanks again for sharing.

[Seahorse Wrangler]

I can't remember exactly when I started watching but I know it was because Mr Wrangler was complaining that I watched too many hoarding shows and he thought that would make me not clean the house.

 

Whenever he started to complain after that I would laughing say that we should have more kids because I watched the Duggars.

[JMarie]

I first found the Duggars by accident.  I was flipping through the channels, and stopped when I saw a women switching laundry loads in the middle of the night.  That poor woman!  Then there was a segment on career goals.  Every younger girl said she wanted to be a mommy, and every older girl said she wanted to be a homeschooling mom.  I felt sad for all of them, right then and there.  There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a parent, but that's all they had as a goal.  A few months later, I accidentally saw the show again.  This time, there was no mommy segment, because there had to be airtime for the newest little bundle.  This was around the time of Kids By The Dozen, with the Heppners of Minnesota, the Jeubs, and that wannabe Amish family in Maine.

[CorruptionInc.]

@JMarie, your post reminded me of a bridal shower I went to this weekend and the questions were all about heckling the bride to find out when she was having children. I thought first of all that was pretty poor form (none of our damn business) and when she admitted she was getting married just so she could be pregnant; I felt like yelling.

Why did I want to yell? 

1. I'm a sociology student and can confirm the nuclear family was only at its highest in the 50's and 60's (and has been declining ever since).

2. You don't have to be married to someone to have kids with them.

3. If people are going to judge you on when you choose to get pregnant and agree that it HAS to be when you're married; they're not good people.

4. How is it anyone's business? You NEVER ask a lady if she's pregnant or when she's planning to.

5. Some woman (that I can't stand - she's loud, rude and obnoxious) kept dropping hints for the bride to get pregnant and she had been training her future husband up. All while she was holding her baby. 

It's an odd world we live in for sure.

[Nargus]

31 minutes ago, CorruptionInc. said:

4. How is it anyone's business? You NEVER ask a lady if she's pregnant or when she's planning to.

 

This. A million times this.

 

[fluffernutter]

I don't know when i started watching. I remember Josh and Anna courting/ hand sex/ marriage, so sometime before then. Also the Josie time, not sure if that was before or after Josh and Anna.  I honestly thought Michelle seemed so calm within the chaos. She never screamed or lost her cool. As time went on their true colors emerged. Well before the scandals hit i was lurking here. Now i think they are absolutely vile.  

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I started watching because I watched a LOT of TLC, a baby story, child rearing shows, bridal shows stuff like that.  I was a SAHM so during nap time or preschool when the kids were gone or napping I had 2.5 to 3 hours of "grown up" TV I must have stumbled on one of their specials and was fascinated.  I think a lot of you are forgetting about the large christian population in the U.S. who back up other vocal Christians no matter how horrible they are, as long as they toe the GOP line and profess the hatred for the right groups they are good people.  

@CorruptionInc. You reminded me of something my mom has said a couple of times. She is a very judgey person, my siblings and I all married and had children, and she likes to laud that over her siblings heads, that ALL of her children did it properly, they married then had kids, where as the 4 of her siblings who had kids had at least 1 of their kids had a child out of wedlock. 

[Sky with diamonds]

On 2/5/2018 at 5:07 PM, mango_fandango said:

I bet many of the viewers are hate-watchers/snarkers like us. I can't find any info on viewing figures.

I watch to snark watch. I don't know if I will tune into the new season. 

[Sky with diamonds]

On 2/7/2018 at 2:53 PM, AnnEggBlandHer? said:

I used to be a full blown fan...I’d say I 50% loved them and thought they were genuine and amazing, and 50% thought they were a freak show and I couldn’t help but watch. But either way...watched the show, bought the books, went to a freaking book signing to meet them. It’s embarrassing, and I completely feel like i was fooled by their front! I consider myself reformed now and can only hope many of the current viewers are just working their way through the stages of learning the truth about them, but I don’t really think that’s the case. I think a shocking and scary number of people really do think they are good examples of a Christian family and should be admired. 

I've been reading FJ for three or so years before I joined in the discussions here. Wow, some of it has been very eye opening. The Duggars never have been forthcoming or honest, IMO.

I'm glad to have learned so much about their shitty belief systems because of FJ. I cannot look at the family the same way I once did. Shoot, I actually liked the family at one time. I regret it. Now, I hope some family members break free or at least open their eyes, but I doubt that will happen any time soon. 

[CorruptionInc.]

40 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

 

@CorruptionInc. You reminded me of something my mom has said a couple of times. She is a very judgey person, my siblings and I all married and had children, and she likes to laud that over her siblings heads, that ALL of her children did it properly, they married then had kids, where as the 4 of her siblings who had kids had at least 1 of their kids had a child out of wedlock. 

I assume your mum and mine are of a similar age. My eldest nephew was conceived before his parents were married (who cares seriously!) She told all her friends "the baby came early". He was 9 pounds 10 at birth.

My father is the opposite to my mum and raised a feminist. He is often giving me little words of encouragement when I fall for a lady (I've dated both men and women) while my mother refuses to acknowledge that I've dated some women. 

[Nargus]

41 minutes ago, CorruptionInc. said:

She told all her friends "the baby came early". He was 9 pounds 10 at birth.

When my husband and I told my family at Christmas that we were expecting a baby in the summer, my grandmother told me "first babies come whenever they like, the second one takes 9 months"

This was 3 months after our 2nd anniversary.

Even an elephant doesn't gestate that long Grandma.

[Lgirlrocks]

What fascinated me with them was courtship and having a chaperone. In high school I wanted to save myself for marriage and anumy guy I dated knew that. None of them had a problem with it or tried to cross any lines. We didn’t need someone there to make sure nothing happened. I like the premise of courtship, getting to know someone with the idea of marriage in mind, but it doesn’t work like they think it does. If you become attached to someone in a romantic way, even without the physical stuff, and it doesn’t work out you will more than likely be heart broken. I’ve had friendships end that broke my heart and there wasn’t anything romantic in them. 

To me the chaperones prove that they don’t trust their children. I can understand group dates if they are underage but once they are legal, unless it’s something they want, it shouldn’t be forced on them. Zach Bates had chaperones on his dates and kissed Whitney before they married. 

Watching episodes where Jana seems sad or when she said she had to pray about her attitude because she doesn’t like kids kept me watching. I felt sad and kept hoping maybe they would change. 

I was also interested to see what the kids would be when they grew up. No one has really done anything with their lives. It’s not their fault though. 

[candygirl200413]

@Lgirlrocks it's one thing I never understood at church either! My youth church leaders would stress how they always had barriers (like having two friends with them at all time, having a pillow inbetween them, etc.) It just blew my mind because I was just thinking you really can't refrain yourself? Like it's teaching you no self-responsibility.

I think  11 or 12 when the first special came out? It was 50% wow genetics are interesting seeing how many children they had and their variation, 50% weirdos but I can't look away. My mom was kind of like "wow what a wholesome family" and I was just like are you serious?! Luckily over time (before joshgate) she finally came to her senses. I wished I remember how I stumbled on freejinger, I kind of want to say I was on tumblr and people were talking about it?

[CorruptionInc.]

14 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

What fascinated me with them was courtship and having a chaperone. In high school I wanted to save myself for marriage and anumy guy I dated knew that. None of them had a problem with it or tried to cross any lines. We didn’t need someone there to make sure nothing happened.

This is the thing - it's all about honesty and communication. The Duggars are not honest and their communication skills are sketchy at best. Also respect is something you have, as does your boyfriend and the people in your lives. 

[curlykate]

16 hours ago, Nargus said:

When my husband and I told my family at Christmas that we were expecting a baby in the summer, my grandmother told me "first babies come whenever they like, the second one takes 9 months"

This was 3 months after our 2nd anniversary.

Even an elephant doesn't gestate that long Grandma.

When we told my grandmother I was pregnant, she immediately asked “when’s the wedding?”  Her husband had the same response, even though I told them separately. Their first baby was “premature”. 

That was eight and a half years ago. We are still not married, and they still bring it up every time they see us. I at least have an engagement ring now so they're

not quite as upset as they used to be, but seeing as we haven’t set a date yet, they’re still quite scandalized. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

1 hour ago, curlykate said:

they’re still quite scandalized. 

My mother was born 4.5 months after her parents married. Kinda hard to pass off an 8.5 pound baby as "premature."

She never knew she was conceived out of wedlock, and I'm sure it would have been her undoing. I found out a few years before she died (genealogy research is full of skeletons, yall), and held onto that little tidbit of information just in case GryffindorDisappointment should get pregnant. LOL

I'll also never forget HER mother (you know, the one with the "premature" 8.5 pound baby) telling me very earnestly to be sure to save myself for my husband. I just looked at her. At the time I was 20, and that ship had long since sailed. And more than one ship, at that.  

[seashell1025]

@Nargus haha yes! My grandma still says that! My mom's oldest brother was born 4 months after my grandparents got married at age 18. I don't think many made a big deal out of it when they had him though, because neither of them had upbringings that cared much either way, plus they were married so it wasn't a big deal apparently haha. 

What amazes me however, is the fact that my grandma was so tiny, at 5 months pregnant, her wedding dress was a size 12-14 in GIRLS that was given to her from a friend, and it was actually used for like  what would have been a 12 year old's first communion in a catholic church. Absolutely crazy. the only possible explanation my grandma has for that is that my uncle maybe was transverse for the longest time. Crazy! 

[Nargus]

5 hours ago, seashell1025 said:

@Nargus haha yes! My grandma still says that! My mom's oldest brother was born 4 months after my grandparents got married at age 18. I don't think many made a big deal out of it when they had him though, because neither of them had upbringings that cared much either way, plus they were married so it wasn't a big deal apparently haha. 

What amazes me however, is the fact that my grandma was so tiny, at 5 months pregnant, her wedding dress was a size 12-14 in GIRLS that was given to her from a friend, and it was actually used for like  what would have been a 12 year old's first communion in a catholic church. Absolutely crazy. the only possible explanation my grandma has for that is that my uncle maybe was transverse for the longest time. Crazy! 

My grandma has shown me pictures of her at 5 months pregnant in a two piece bathing suit in the late 50s and you can’t tell at all.