Boyer Sisters Part 6: Two Left Limping Along

[FilleMondaine]

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

Yes, Gabe did show a fondness for a certain whitewashed, Christianized version of history. If I remember correctly he struggled with very idea of whitewashed history. 

I do not see him as a total asshole, just a young fundie guy who has been trained to view himself as educated on subjects when he really only has the most shallow of understanding. He is smug and very full of himself. There is hope that he can grow out of it, but it will take humility on his part. 

I can totally relate to this. Context here: I come from an abusive home. (Read about dysfunctional family roles to get an understanding of life in a narcissist's home, or an addict's home or even--truly--a fundie home) My god--the mental gymnastics played by my dad, me, and my sister in order to make our family make sense to us, amounts to as much detangling as this very sentence requires to be understood! My mother, Anglo-snob that she is, not only prevented my dad from giving me a Mexican first name, she actually bragged about that her side of the family having had slaves--as if slave-holding is still a status-symbol rather than a place of shame and reflection. Of course, she mused, the family treated the slaves well. My dad--not the abuser--then generalized that idea to Pinochet (Latin-American dictator) was not being totally wrong, and other weird and revisionist things. They married young, and to be honest, I think my dad truly believed that divorce was wrong and so therefore twisted his mind into one that could tolerate or even normalize my mum and her behavior and thinking. I adored my dad, and I think he protected us in many ways. So I bent my brain to act like his. It took a long time (and a lot of silly posturing) before I could figure out the larger picture and learn to be a better, clearer-eyed person. I am still learning. (See? You can keep learning, @Gabe! Never stop!)

Long explanation. Part processing for me, also maybe others will find family roles as illuminating as I did.

Anyhow, I adore college-aged kids. They are supposed to be dummies at this age, and they actually suffer if they don't test out their minds and ideas. It was an honor to support them and teach them and learn from them during my 13 years teaching college. My new work has many young adults, too, and it's just swell. I like the bones: a guy who seems to respect his wife's wishes. Like me, and as @formergothardite says, he is a product of his environment. Here is to hoping that he continues to explore, to weigh new thoughts, and to reconsider. If I remember correctly, his dancing friends seem to be of all stripes, and will probably help.

[singsingsing]

Gabe seems like a nice guy. To me he seems like a garden variety young, privileged, white middle class Christian who's just never had any reason to stop and question his own greatness. He's like a lot of other young guys in their early 20s who grew up being told they were incredibly intelligent, amazing, accomplished, chivalrous, good, etc., generally by the women in their lives. They have no reason to question it, until they get hit by some hardship, get their ass handed to them, or are exposed to/immersed in very different beliefs/lifestyles/worldviews. 

Did Gabe ever go to college? It's really unfortunate if he didn't. He seems like a smart dude, and I'm sure he would have been successful. He would have loved majoring in History. He also would have been confronted with A LOT of differing opinions, with realities he never considered, with arguments that made him uncomfortable... maybe he would have emerged more conservative and Christian than ever, maybe not, but if what you believe is true, your faith should be strengthened by the experience. People would take him a lot more seriously, too. Every 20-year-old dude thinks himself to be an expert on whatever it is he's interested in. Wake me up when you have at least a B.A.

(And yes, it's totally and completely possible to be self-educated. Not everyone has the privilege of being able to attend university. But it's really, really hard to successfully self-educate when you already think you know enough to, say, write a series of history books.)

[formergothardite]

11 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

a bit of humility would become Gabe, but I think genuine humility will be much harder for him to achieve.  I predict that he will change his mind about some things but do a Kristina:  "No, I never changed my mind - because I never said that!" - as we point to exactly where they did say that.

I think you are right. That specific trait of Kristina's drives me insane, but I do get why she convinces herself she has never changed her mind. It is hard to admit that the stuff one spouted was rubbish. Especially if the stuff was supposedly founded on non-changing biblical principles. 

Gabe is smart and he does seem to have a desire to learn, as he grows up perhaps he will open his mind a bit more to the things about life and history he hasn't wanted to see. 

And yes, Chad Paine is fawned over like he is the king of husbands! 

[FilleMondaine]

5 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

And yes, Chad Paine is fawned over like he is the king of husbands! 

So...if I need to shore up a diet, just go over read read people fawn over him! Ha!

[Carm_88]

On ‎2018‎-‎04‎-‎01 at 9:56 PM, FilleMondaine said:

So...if I need to shore up a diet, just go over read read people fawn over him! Ha!

Hahah Chad Paine is a Prince among fundie husbands, just because he allowed Erin to have the pinkest bedroom. It looked Barbie's dream room threw up!

[acheronbeach]

@ladyamylynn I don't feel bad about what we've said about Jessica and Charlotte.  They are obnoxious.  They are ill-educated.  Their business is badly considered and their product fraudulent.  I don't think they're outright deceitful; I think they're wilfully blind.  The tone of that Instagram post is of a young woman who's hurt because the comments here have hit a little too close to home.  She's responding emotionally, and I think that's probably why it's rambling and at times nonsensical.   

Not that I think she'll realize it when she calms down.  

[AlwaysExcited]

If Boyers read here, can somebody please tell us how Gabe's history book thing is going? 
 

[singsingsing]

17 minutes ago, AlwaysExcited said:

If Boyers read here, can somebody please tell us how Gabe's history book thing is going? 
 

Gabe, if you're still planning on writing history books, please check out this article - it's an absolute must-read and I think it could help you out a lot! 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect

[cottonsocks]

Petty: I don't think Charlotte's new haircut looks good - it looks like my grandma's in the Fifties, but not in a cool way. 

[Jhamishwat]

Lolwut, Jessica's new blog post is worth the disturbing read...

She closes with "Ask me how I know God loves me. My answer is this – “He created essential oils for me so that I can learn how to be a better servant of Christ.” Now, I’m trying really hard right now not to tell you everything here in this post but friends! Without a shadow of a doubt, God made these oils for us! They are tools He gave us to help us draw close to Him, renew our hearts and minds – from the DNA upwards – and find His strength in our weakness! This is truly a glorious life we live!"

How freaking manipulative. I don't think she's even trying to be manipulative, I think she herself has been manipulated. 

 

Girl, God created people who can be therapists. God created medication that helps with your brain chemistry when these negative emotions are a constant. God created people who made pens and papers to write things in journals. All of these things have worked well for me! Really, how did people surive before essential oils if they do all this BS that Young Living claims??

I mean, honestly, this is pissing me off probably more than it should...don't bring my relationship with God into this. I am no less holy or less trusting in Him if I don't use essential oils regularly (or for my emotional needs). Talk about putting your hope in things of this world. 

[catlady]

i would like to ask her to elaborate on how oils help her learn to be a better servant of Christ, because i'm just not following the logic trail.  

[Lurky]

1 minute ago, catlady said:

i would like to ask her to elaborate on how oils help her learn to be a better servant of Christ, because i'm just not following the logic trail.  

You beat me to it!! Out of all the myriad ways to serve Christ, selling overpriced oils to try to make a profit, as part of a pyramid scheme doesn't seem the most effective choice...

[Jhamishwat]

7 minutes ago, catlady said:

i would like to ask her to elaborate on how oils help her learn to be a better servant of Christ, because i'm just not following the logic trail.  

Because apparently encouraging people to keep from legitimate means of coping and instead using snake oil is being Christ-like.

Unless I misread, NOWHERE in her post did she mention getting help outside of the oils.

If they worked, doctors would offer them along with other treatments. 

Except big pharma, amirite? :Eyeroll:

 

Edit: she does have the standard disclaimer at the end, but that's clearly in a CYA move, not because she believes it's necessary. Otherwise she would actually mention it in her post. 

[Mommit]

That whole spiel screams QUACKERY! She's trying to tell me that my spleen is holding onto guilt and the only way to release it is with "clarity oil?" Riiiight. This just crystallizes the idea that these young women have absolutely zero critical thinking skills... or common sense...or the ability to understand basic anatomy and biology. And bringing God into it is laughable. She must feel so special that she is one of the chosen few who know about God's magical oils! Okay class, let's say it all together now: BRAINWASHED

[singsingsing]

5 hours ago, Jhamishwat said:

She closes with "Ask me how I know God loves me. My answer is this – “He created essential oils for me so that I can learn how to be a better servant of Christ.” Now, I’m trying really hard right now not to tell you everything here in this post but friends! Without a shadow of a doubt, God made these oils for us! They are tools He gave us to help us draw close to Him, renew our hearts and minds – from the DNA upwards – and find His strength in our weakness! This is truly a glorious life we live!"

Oh, wow. This is both incredibly weird and incredibly sad. Jessica, seriously, just... no.

[AnnaSofia]

Either she's trolling us, or we are seriously witnessing a breakdown of some sort.

Even for fundie logic, that is just wackadoodle.

[кошка]

On 3/29/2018 at 7:52 AM, EowynW said:

Honestly, once I left and got married and had new opportunities open up to me, and started trying to heal and processing how my first 29 years were a total waste, the thought of having kids and spending the NEXT 20 years caring for them and invested in them, and then not having time or money to grow, live, go on adventures and invest in myself until my 50s, just really makes me want to die inside. I know that sounds so awful and selfish. 

No.  Selfish is having kids you don't want right now, maybe not ever, just to please other people.  Unwanted children would pay the price.  You are sparing the children you aren't having of being born to a mother who doesn't want to invest in them, and you're paying a prince in guilt.  You are doing the right thing to not have children you don't want.  You are not selfish to sparing children of suffering.  You are doing a very good thing, and child-loving me thanks you for that.  Please let go of your guilt and the idea that it's awful and selfish.  <3 

I used to pay attention to the Boyer sisters!  Never a fundy, but always a fan of old-timey music, sister-acts, and vintage fashion.  How sad to see that a couple have fallen to pieces.  I did have worry before that they'd struggle when Jessica got married.  I thought she'd do it first.  

I jumped in on the page with Charlotte's post condemning this site for her troubles for having pages about them (Brigid got married to a man who sometimes comes here, and they have a son?!eleventlyexlamation).  I'm sorry to her, but she and her sisters traveled to sing publicly and make names for themselves.  With fame-seeking is going to come critics, never universal praise.

[FundiesInParis]

Gabe has his very own insta now.

[CurlyWurly]

Uh oh, seems that more drama is going down in the Boyer universe... Let's start the speculation train on what this other curve ball is. I'm liking the cryptically incoherent hashtags too: #single #bornfree #pursuepretty #worththewait?

[FundiesInParis]

A lot of “lifestyle” instagrams use the #pursuepretty hashtag, same with the #liveauthentic one and #gritandvirtue. The other ones I’m not so sure of.

I am however, deeply amused at her for using the #lifeofadventure hashtag, when her life especially as of late is anything but. 

[Palimpsest]

14 hours ago, CurlyWurly said:

Uh oh, seems that more drama is going down in the Boyer universe... Let's start the speculation train on what this other curve ball is. I'm liking the cryptically incoherent hashtags too: #single #bornfree #pursuepretty #worththewait?

Oh, the drama.  Perhaps it was a literal curve ball and she broke a fingernail.  Or she forgot her latest dietary fad and ate some gluten or a chocolate bar.  I'm guessing that is has to do with thwarted love though as her first hashtag is #single.  Charlie, dear.  You are not yet 20.  You have loads of time so stop worrying.  Mind you, as the Great Pumpkin in the Sky hasn't dropped a man into the pumpkin patch for you yet you may have to take your own initiative to find one. 

On 4/6/2018 at 2:08 PM, Jhamishwat said:

Lolwut, Jessica's new blog post is worth the disturbing read...

Oh, boy.  I just ploughed through those two posts.   Jessica has immersed herself in oils and is studying that stupid book by Carolyn Mein as though it is the Bible.  My "intuitive instinct" (or was that "instinctive intuition") tells me that it is complete quackery.

The Boyers are vulnerable to this sort of pseudo-science.  Quite aside from their lack of real science education they are miserable, frustrated, and abandoned. 

So Jessica has deep abandonment issues because she was sent to Day Care.  Okey dokey. And she's still pining after the man who got away. 

I wonder whether rubbing lavender oil on Miss Havisham's tummy would have helped her.  There is a theory, "the Miss Havisham Effect," that some people get addicted to grief.  Perhaps Jess should look into it. 

 https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2211085/Pining-for-lost-love-can-be-physically-addictive.html

and https://www.scribd.com/doc/197439537/the-miss-havisham-effect

No idea whether it is a valid theory of not.  It is interesting though given that Jessica still seems completely stuck.

Disclaimer:  I'm not a doctor or health expert.  I just have a better educated mind than the Boyerettes, and a passion for debunking crackpot pyramid schemes and educating others on how to think critically about the claims made about essential oils. Please know that any information provided by me on Free Jinger is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to prescribe, diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, nor replace current medical treatment or drugs prescribed by your healthcare professional.  And I hope everyone has access to properly qualified heathcare professionals and uses their services.  Unlike the Boyerettes.

 

[Carm_88]

6 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

So Jessica has deep abandonment issues because she was sent to Day Care.  Okey dokey. And she's still pining after the man who got away. 

Jessica has too much time on her hands if she's thinking about being sent to daycare. Jesus woman, find something to do! 

[SolomonFundy]

I don't think that "deep" is the proper word to describe any Boyer concern, be it abandonment issues, or thoughts on hair curl patterns.The only thing remotely deep is the degree to which Jessica has her head lodged up her own ass. 

@Palimpsest- the Havisham comparison is too damned good. 

It's not that she's in the wrong to grieve and mourn over the end of that relationship. From what she's shared publicly, it sounds like the sort of thing that would have been devastating to anyone. By all accounts, the dude done her wrong in a bad way. Having to watch her sister's courtship and marriage unfold in the immediate aftermath (with a man who is still friends with Jessica's shitty ex) only added salt to the wound. She's earned the right to feel crummy about the whole thing, because it was crummy. But holy hell. She's pined for her broken heart approximately three times as long as she even knew the guy. Even though I give her a lot of leeway because her idiot parents apparently never taught their children how to cope with basic emotions, this has gotten excessive. At this point, I have to assume that she's enjoying it on some level. 

[Palimpsest]

3 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

it sounds like the sort of thing that would have been devastating to anyone. By all accounts, the dude done her wrong in a bad way.

I agree with the rest of your post - but did he?  They got engaged and then ...

What we know from Jessica is that they parted ways after the engagement because their views for the future differed drastically.  Perhaps Levi wasn't that keen on being a Patriarch and sole provider for a needy submissive little miss determined to procreate indiscriminately for God.

I'm not exactly sure when Jessica turned into the gaping maw of selfishness, jealousy, neediness, neurosis, and hypochondria that she now presents.  On the blogs.  That may not be reality.

I'm so sorry, Jess, but that is the take-home message you give today on your blogs.  It is off-putting, to be brutally honest.  To people in general, let alone potential partners.

Young Levi may have run for the hills out of sheer self-preservation.  I don't know him from Adam, but he may have had good reason to do a runner.

[Feministe9000]

3 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

I don't think that "deep" is the proper word to describe any Boyer concern, be it abandonment issues, or thoughts on hair curl patterns.The only thing remotely deep is the degree to which Jessica has her head lodged up her own ass. 

@Palimpsest- the Havisham comparison is too damned good. 

It's not that she's in the wrong to grieve and mourn over the end of that relationship. From what she's shared publicly, it sounds like the sort of thing that would have been devastating to anyone. By all accounts, the dude done her wrong in a bad way. Having to watch her sister's courtship and marriage unfold in the immediate aftermath (with a man who is still friends with Jessica's shitty ex) only added salt to the wound. She's earned the right to feel crummy about the whole thing, because it was crummy. But holy hell. She's pined for her broken heart approximately three times as long as she even knew the guy. Even though I give her a lot of leeway because her idiot parents apparently never taught their children how to cope with basic emotions, this has gotten excessive. At this point, I have to assume that she's enjoying it on some level. 

I’ve been exasperated many times over at how long she has publicly lamented over it. But honestly? It seems like it’s all she said got. She very well may be involved in other things in real life and have fulfillment, but I’m not so sure. 

Charlotte has this new “lease of life” and adventure, a jobin the city?  and coming from her ridiculous curly hair!!1 IG page, seems to have developed some sort of self confidence, even if it comes off as silly and immature and tacky to many of us, including me. Jessica just seems to be languishing, if there was other things to discuss, why wouldn’t she be talking about them and share like Charlotte does? They have had a public blog and online presence for years.  After Brigid  married and left, she left a big hole behind. Now what Charlotte is doing is finally adapting in the only way she knows how. Jessica  seems has just kind of tagged along. Still sad about Levi, still just floating along.  I know everyone has different ways of expressing the themselves and they are obviously different people...but like why Jessica..? is it what you think everyone wants to hear?  Don't youhave anything else to focus on? 

THAT makes me sad for her.