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Maxwell 17: Life After John Left


Coconut Flan

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2 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

TMI, but there is no horror quite like your finger going through the toilet paper. 

Also TMI: in China, many public bathrooms don't have toilet paper. One time I didn't have my usual trusty packet of tissues that I kept on hand for this reason. Nature called loudly and lustily. I wiped my ass with money. It was worth maybe a fraction of a cent in USD, but I think I can call myself a real baller because I wiped my ass with money. 

I was once on a forest walk and found myself in the middle of the woods needing to do number 2 big time. I had nothing to wipe my butt with not even a recipe or any kind of paper at all because I had only brought my keys. I realized that I could get back home without socks though... Somewhere in the woods in northern Sweden there might still be remnants of a pair of green socks that met a very grim destiny.

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6 minutes ago, elliha said:

I was once on a forest walk and found myself in the middle of the woods needing to do number 2 big time. I had nothing to wipe my butt with not even a recipe or any kind of paper at all because I had only brought my keys. I realized that I could get back home without socks though... Somewhere in the woods in northern Sweden there might still be remnants of a pair of green socks that met a very grim destiny.

Same thing happened to me but I just used my underwear. Gotta do what you gotta do! 

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15 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Toilet paper, hmmm.  Wonder if they ration it.

We'll know if Sarah writes a post about Nathan having a toilet paper related question.

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On a lighter note, I’d like to offer a parenting tip of the week. You’ll laugh, because I’m sure this is quite obvious to many of you. For years I’d struggled with how to teach the little girls to rub their hands together after getting soap on them before putting them back under the water. They tend to stick hands right into the water with no rubbing once I put soap on them. Part of it is logistics. They reach their hands out for soap and pull them back to “rub rub” them, which is where the stream of water is. Instantly, soap is rinsed off with no real skin contact. This week, all of a sudden, I realized that I could turn the water off as I squirted soap onto their hands. It works like this. Hands go into water. Then I grab the soap and turn the water off. Next I squirt soap into their hands as well as mine, “rub rub,” water back on, and rinse. Wow – so simple!

This comes from a June 28, 2012 post written by Nathan.  Sorry, I could not get the link to work. 

When I first read it, months ago, I remember thinking that Nathan seems to obsess over such little things. Now here we are in the middle of Toothpaste Gate.  Those children are going to be so nervous about evey little daily activity, the way their father monitors all this stuff. Poor kids. 

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4 hours ago, catlady said:

Cinnamon Toast Crunch is ok, but i'm not normal and only eat cereal dry, and the sugar is too messy for me.  IMO, nothing beats generic Lucky Charms (i actually prefer the off-brand).

Frosted Mini Wheats (generic is fine) with a bit more sugar, half & half & skim milk! Gosh I hope I get invited to the Max Mothership for breakfast someday!  I’ll bring my own, and happily watch, and listen to, the stares and verbalizations of disapproval!

WRT funeral photography:  BigMJB grew up in the 1930s in a remote part of the rural mid south. It was considered a kindness to snap a photo of the deceased in the coffin, so that friends and family who were unable to attend — and since few people owned cars in their social class, many were unable to attend if they lived any distance away —could see a last image of their loved one. 

The custom was carried on into the ‘60s when I was a kid and came upon BMJB and her sisters looking at a recently received snapshot of a friend in repose. Even though by then they had cars, they hadn’t been able to get to the services and were grateful for “one last look.”

I imagine they would’ve been repulsed by photos of those in attendance, faces & bodies contorted in grief. But hey, they were Roman Catholics (for the most part), so to Steve, such heresy would explain it all. HIS way — And his alone— is right! . Show those sad, sad mourners! On the internet no less!!!

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Maxhell: where even the toothpaste isn't allowed to be fun. 

New flavor name suggestion - Dental Dour.

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Mr. Four not only took photos of his mother in her casket, he took pictures of EVERY flower arrangement that arrived. 

Thankfully, he did not do what his mother did when his father died. She made all the children, aged about 18 to 3, stand at the coffin, which was OPEN< and SMILE for the camera. Individually and collectively. She got one of herself doing the same thing.

Oh, and He made me put the funeral pictures into his scrapook that I made for him.. Whatever floats your boat.

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15 hours ago, Granwych said:

If kids will eat boogers, then just about anything is tasty.

Oh my; now I wonder if that'll be next. I was a booger-eater until I developed early acne. That was one thing my parents did right; not spank me for picking my nose and eating it; just let me learn the consequences the hard way.

  As for funeral photos, that was done at my grandparents' funerals, in the 80s and 90s. I didn't encourage that at my husband's funeral. Though I understand, we need confirmation that this person is, indeed, dead. The photo of the Maxwells at Grandpa's funeral looks like it was taken during a prayer, or right before the pastor started praying.

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10 minutes ago, BullyJBG said:

Oh my; now I wonder if that'll be next. I was a booger-eater until I developed early acne. That was one thing my parents did right; not spank me for picking my nose and eating it; just let me learn the consequences the hard way.

  As for funeral photos, that was done at my grandparents' funerals, in the 80s and 90s. I didn't encourage that at my husband's funeral. Though I understand, we need confirmation that this person is, indeed, dead. The photo of the Maxwells at Grandpa's funeral looks like it was taken during a prayer, or right before the pastor started praying.

Booger eating causes acne? I honestly never knew that. 

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1 hour ago, Four is Enough said:

Mr. Four not only took photos of his mother in her casket, he took pictures of EVERY flower arrangement that arrived. 

Thankfully, he did not do what his mother did when his father died. She made all the children, aged about 18 to 3, stand at the coffin, which was OPEN< and SMILE for the camera. Individually and collectively. She got one of herself doing the same thing.

Oh, and He made me put the funeral pictures into his scrapook that I made for him.. Whatever floats your boat.

I admit I did the same as Mr. Four for my Dad's funeral. I took a picture of every flower arrangement with the card so we could write the Thank you cards at home. I deleted the pictures once the cards were written.  I did not take a picture of Dad or the coffin. 

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On 1/21/2018 at 4:34 PM, Lgirlrocks said:

I grew up in a pro life family and knew about abortion from a young age. I was shown pictures of aborted babies. I had no real understanding but was made to protest abortion. It’s common in conservative Christian families to talk to young kids about this. I don’t thinks it’s okay or age appropriate. No child can really grasp the concept of abortion. 

Kids cant truly process religion but they are taught it.

They shelter their children from sex, violence, etc., and then expose the child to horrific propaganda. 

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I have seen people take pictures of flower arrangements and the coffin before the service on every funeral I have been to but never a professional, only family and friends of the diseased. Open casket is not common where I live so I have never even heard of anyone having it. I think that in families where people want to say a last good bye to the person's body it is more common to do so before the funeral during a showing. I know we were offered to come to one of those once at least but as far as I know we didn't attend, I didn't at least. Usually taking pictures during funerals is often done with a person's back turned for example someone standing by the grave or coffin and not showing faces of people crying. After the funeral if there is a get together of people it is fine to take photos of people the regular way but usually not of someone who is very distraught. My mom was furious with my dad's uncle during dad's funeral because he kept taking pictures left and right including of the coffin once it was lowered into the grave. She felt that was too intimate and that once it is in the grave it should not be disturbed even by cameras. I guess I can understand both of them in this case. I get that this was a hard moment for my grand uncle who was very close to my dad (he was a young uncle who wasn't that much older than dad) and I get that it annoyed my mom too. I do remember the flashes from his camera at different times during the funeral so it wasn't the most discrete way of taking pictures at a funeral. I can't be angry with uncle B though, I remember his sad eyes too...

19 minutes ago, wild little fox said:

They shelter their children from sex, violence, etc., and then expose the child to horrific propaganda. 

I have taught my five year old where babies come from including the penis in vagina part (because she asked exactly how the sperm and egg could find each other) but I have never not discussed abortion because it has not been anything she has asked about or anything that has seemed necessary to tell her about yet. Would she somehow hear the word somewhere and ask I would be honest about what it is but I try to be truthful but not overload her with information. I haven't discussed rape anything like that either but we did touch on miscarriage when I was pregnant with her baby brother. She asked me why I did not want little brother to come out now right away and I was blunt and said that it would mean that he would not live and explained that this sometimes happen, that babies come out too early and cannot live and other times they come out too early but do make it. 

 

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Flavor ideas:  Sorrowful Spearmint,  Puritanical Peppermint, & Repressed Raspberry

 

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6 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

We'll know if Sarah writes a post about Nathan having a toilet paper related question.

Well, you gotta admit it will be a first for a Maxwell post! 

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Oh Stevie, you are wondering off from the FJ Maxhelll sub forum to get a look at Cathy Arndt’s tits2 and her shorty shorts..... no falling over in the snow when you see her tits2

All  Cathy A said was she had cleaned all her boys (man boys) and girl teath with penguin shaped tooth past tubes from a an organic company called valleyvine...

are you watching vine valley on the BEAST as porn?

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I just remembered: We ran out of toothpaste once or twice and BMJB had us sprinkle a little table salt in one hand, dampen the toothbrush and then dip the brush Into the salt and scrubba-scrub the teeth. I’d offer this advice to PSarah but then she’d know what ISP belonged to MJB, right?  Hope Stevie reads here. Its an economical tooth cleaner, tastes neutral/salty, and it all dissolves away if you dont rinse thoroughly. 

Typing this I also remember BMJB got us toothpowder one time.  Came in a short little tin, powdery and you used it like the salt.  I think it had a sweet taste, so Steve — erm, I mean, Nate — would rule that right out.

If any Maxchild escapes its family’s Grip, at least they won’t go to an ascetic cult where they’re only served tasteless starchy foods. I mean I presume they’ll reject that out of hand, as it will remind them too much of their parents’ faux self-denial of all things f*n & t*sty.

 

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9 hours ago, elliha said:

I was once on a forest walk and found myself in the middle of the woods needing to do number 2 big time. I had nothing to wipe my butt with not even a recipe or any kind of paper at all because I had only brought my keys. I realized that I could get back home without socks though... Somewhere in the woods in northern Sweden there might still be remnants of a pair of green socks that met a very grim destiny.

When I was a kid, I remember hearing about one of my mom's male cousins who needed to poo in the woods. Unfortunately, he grabbed the first bunch of leaves he could to clean himself- and it was poison ivy! Sounds like your choice was much better!

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This is part of a devotional for today.  Steve would definitely not deal well with the various messages from that source.

Quote

Jesus, help me sense your Spirit’s promptings. I don’t want to be so regulated that I can’t hear your voice or follow your leadings. Lord, make me flexible and open!

The basic message was don't be so oriented to order and practicalities that one forgets compassion.

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There are 71 comments on that toothpaste post! Wow. I know some of those will be replies by Sarah. Even the post about John’s wedding only got 45. 

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2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

There are 71 comments on that toothpaste post! Wow. I know some of those will be replies by Sarah. Even the post about John’s wedding only got 45. 

And boringly they all seem genuine. I’ve learned as much about US dentist products that I could start up a home skooling dentist for the elderly.

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9 hours ago, johnhugh said:

Oh Stevie, you are wondering off from the FJ Maxhelll sub forum to get a look at Cathy Arndt’s tits2 and her shorty shorts..... no falling over in the snow when you see her tits2

All  Cathy A said was she had cleaned all her boys (man boys) and girl teath with penguin shaped tooth past tubes from a an organic company called valleyvine...

are you watching vine valley on the BEAST as porn?

Huh? 

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So we know that the ABC girls like eating toothpaste and the exhaustive step-by-step process by which they wash their hands, but we still don't know how to use a pizza cutter to make a salad. WHEN WILL THE MYSTERY BE REVEALED

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20 hours ago, usmcmom said:

This comes from a June 28, 2012 post written by Nathan.  Sorry, I could not get the link to work. 

When I first read it, months ago, I remember thinking that Nathan seems to obsess over such little things. Now here we are in the middle of Toothpaste Gate.  Those children are going to be so nervous about evey little daily activity, the way their father monitors all this stuff. Poor kids. 

He said he struggled for years with it.  That is beyond bizarre, as is the toothpaste post.  When children are very little, you wash their hands for them.  When they are old enough to reach the sink, you stand over them and guide them through it.  When they first grasp the concept, you stand over them and watch until you see that they're doing it right.  It's really not hard and nothing to struggle over.  The same thing goes for brushing teeth.  First you brush their teeth, while telling them not to swallow it.  When they grasp that, then you move onto watching them do it, and watch until you see that they're doing it right.  I never had a problem with such trivial things.  Also, don't buy that sweet crap.  It doesn't get their teeth white or make their mouths minty fresh.  My kids grew up on Mentadent.  They never had a desire to eat it, and it made their teeth sparkly white. 

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6 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

So we know that the ABC girls like eating toothpaste and the exhaustive step-by-step process by which they wash their hands, but we still don't know how to use a pizza cutter to make a salad. WHEN WILL THE MYSTERY BE REVEALED

I think someday Chels will blog the pizza cutter secret "by mistake." Rebel.

18 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

Flavor ideas:  Sorrowful Spearmint,  Puritanical Peppermint, & Repressed Raspberry

 

Misogyny Mint. 

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