Dillards 49: Dull Dillards Dulling

[acheronbeach]

Blech, UHT milk!  As described in one of my favourite shows, Father Ted: "Milk gets sour y'know. Unless it's UHT milk, but there's no demand for that because it's shite."

 

Annnyyyhoowww, to keep on topic... again, Jill makes the SuperOverExcitedFace because her husband (drumroll)... bought chocolate milk.  Oookay, Jill.  Best husband ever.  Next thing he'll even take out the garbage.  

[Feministe9000]

1 hour ago, VineHeart137 said:

Derick bought Jill some chocolate milk at the store so he's obviously better than everybody else's husband. Obviously.

(Now I'm really craving chocolate milk though, damn.)

 

Wow Jill, if you think this qualifies as #besthubbyintheworld, you really are living a sad existence.

Jill has been sheltered from the world, encouraged to not think for herself, rely on the men in her life, so deprived of attention, raised by those two psychos and praised to be a submissive wife and baby incubator with no thoughts of her own, and she is lavishing her thanks on you because you bought her a bottle of milk! I would laugh if it wasn't so sad.

I mean for God's sake Derick! Surely even you can see how the praise doesn't match the action.
It's wayyy overzealous, exaggerated. If I were you, it would make me uncomfortable, but you love it don't you? Makes me want to vomit.

We don't see Jessa, sugary sweet Erin Paine, #superinlurv Michael Keilen, or anyone else doing this!
It's just Jill.

The thought of Whitney doing this makes me LOL

Poor little Jill , always with the same open mouth wide-eyed expression she's been using to say "I'M HAPPY I REALLY AM" since she was first married.
THANK YOU SO MUCH DERICK YOU ARE THE BEST BESTEST HUBBY YOU GOT ME SOME CHOCOLATE MILK!!! WOWWWWWWWWW YOU ARE AMAZZZZZZZZZZZING SUCH A GODLY THOUGHTFUL HUBBBBYYYYYYYYYY

Also, does Derick respond to these proclamations of his greatness? Or is Jill just sending these messages out into the IG ether?

I see why it works for you Derick. You get to be the "smartest guy in the room", and have a woman with the mind of a child to have sex with and agree with everything you say, and praise you for buying her a pint of chocolate milk.

 

 

 

[Icea]

20 minutes ago, VineHeart137 said:

Derick bought Jill some chocolate milk at the store so he's obviously better than everybody else's husband. Obviously.

(Now I'm really craving chocolate milk though, damn.)

 

This instagram-post makes me so sad because I honestly feel that it’s getting clearer and clearer that Jill isn’t posting these pics to convince the leghumpers and snarkers that Dwreck is the best husband ever, she’s posting to convince herself. She’s not even trying to smile in this picture and her eyes are completely dead. 

[tabitha2]

She has beautiful eyes though. She dosent really look very much anyone else the family does she? 

[Icea]

30 minutes ago, VineHeart137 said:

Derick bought Jill some chocolate milk at the store so he's obviously better than everybody else's husband. Obviously.

(Now I'm really craving chocolate milk though, damn.)

 

[SapphireSlytherin]

I'm not sure that's UHT milk...

[SweetJuly]

39 minutes ago, acheronbeach said:

Blech, UHT milk!  As described in one of my favourite shows, Father Ted: "Milk gets sour y'know. Unless it's UHT milk, but there's no demand for that because it's shite."

 

Annnyyyhoowww, to keep on topic... again, Jill makes the SuperOverExcitedFace because her husband (drumroll)... bought chocolate milk.  Oookay, Jill.  Best husband ever.  Next thing he'll even take out the garbage.  

I would have always agreed with you on UHT milk, however.... since I got pregnant, I love UHT milk. Probably because it smells and tastes less of "animal", having everything natural removed

On topic - I wonder if Jill doesn't like her face when she is smiling or looking neutral. Didn't even some people on FJ point out that she has a bit of a "gummy" smile? Maybe she feels self-conscious about her face if she's not doing the overexcited surprised expression...?

[VineHeart137]

11 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I'm not sure that's UHT milk...

Is UHT the same thing as ultra-pasteurizing? If so then yes, Promised Land is UHT milk.

[SapphireSlytherin]

@VineHeart137 - no. UHT is shelf-stable. It's sold on regular store shelves - not in the refrigerated area.

[MsSaylor]

Dericks selfless chocolate milk purchase made this thread hot!!

seriously this kind of makes me sad. Especially the best hubby ever tag and the fact  she is reeeeaaalllly stretching for stuff to post. Literally my husband picks up food or drinks for me on a near daily basis (i really like food and do not plan well in regards to my diet coke habit). I hope there are other nice things happening for her that she doesnt think to post about. 

[Iamtheway]

If I made a post like that about Mr Way our friends and family would think I was being ironic in some way and wonder what was wrong. 

Mr Way made dinner today after stopping at the shops on the way home from work to pick up tomatoes. Now he’s putting Miniway to bed. He also emptied the dishwasher and showeled some snow. Nothing about that is worthy of praise. It’s just what you do when you’re an adult in a relationship with a house and a child to take care of. As soon as I can get my butt of the sofa I will clear the table and fill the dishwasher. Also not worthy of praise. Not even the fact I bought some lollies at the shops for us is worthy of praise. Maybe the fact that I didn’t eat them while working from home though ... I’ll tell him to instagram that. #bestwifeever

[melon]

1 hour ago, tabitha2 said:

She has beautiful eyes though. She dosent really look very much anyone else the family does she? 

I think she looks just like Jim Bob.

 

[singsingsing]

Wow, Derick bought his wife a bottle of chocolate milk? How is he ever going to top this one? Make her a sandwich and cut the bread himself?!

[Screamapillar]

My husband just brought me cheesecake and he isn't a hateful bigot. #besthubbyintheworld

[Jenn The Heathen]

22 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Wow, Derick bought his wife a bottle of chocolate milk? How is he ever going to top this one? Make her a sandwich and cut the bread himself?!

Come on, now.  You know sandwich making is a woman’s job.  He’ll get Jordyn to come over and do it for him for Jill.  That’s the only way Jordyn will learn.

[acheronbeach]

1 hour ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

@VineHeart137 - no. UHT is shelf-stable. It's sold on regular store shelves - not in the refrigerated area.

Ultra Pasteurization is another name for UHT... I imagine it's sold in the refrigerated area because of consumer perception of shelf-stable products as being less healthy and fresh, but that's just me speculating. 

(at least where I live, certain jars and bags of high-end shelf stable soups, for instance, are sold in the refrigerator section)

[SapphireSlytherin]

@acheronbeach - thanks! I learned something today. And YUCK. lol

 

[Mela99]

I would be way more impressed if Derick had POURED THE MILK FOR HER.

But that's asking a LOT. 

[Iamtheway]

17 minutes ago, Jenn The Heathen said:

Come on, now.  You know sandwich making is a woman’s job.  He’ll get Jordyn to come over and do it for him for Jill.  That’s the only way Jordyn will learn.

I thought anyone can make a sandwich but only a wife can fulfill a man’s dry-humping-in-public needs.

[onekidanddone]

Does Jill have any idea what it is like to be in a healthy relationship? So he brought home chocolate milk. Wow earth shattering! Um Not. In a normal day to day relationship stuff partners will do all the time, and they don't expect a #myhusbandisbetterthanyourhusband. But I suppose she has to dig deep to say "Look! We are so happy!". It was milk Jill, not the Taj Mahal. My husband is making dinner tonight because I made it yesterday. I drove my kid to the doctor the other week because he couldn't get the time from work. He picked up some Coke Zero on the way home the other night. Okay, the cola was for his own self preservation because I am hell to be around if I don't have my morning caffeine 

[CTRLZero]

Was that a compliment to Derick, or was that an ad for Promised Land milk?  I can't quite decide...

[nst]

if he really loved her he would send her for a manicure - which he would have to pay for because it WONT get filmed

 

someone tell me I am the greatest for buying doritos with my own money

 

36 minutes ago, CTRLZero said:

Was that a compliment to Derick, or was that an ad for Promised Land milk?  I can't quite decide...

her new way to make money 

[Seculardaisy]

That awkward moment when you’re trying to make your husband seem like the best husband ever and it actually makes him look like a crappy one.

Poor Jill. Even she deserves a husband who does more for her than just buy a bottle of chocolate milk.

[acheronbeach]

15 minutes ago, nst said:

if he really loved her he would send her for a manicure - which he would have to pay for because it WONT get filmed

 

Eek... that busted polish and raggedy nails.  Derick, if you can't afford shellac polish, buy your woman a bottle of acetone... it's like a buck! 

I admit I'm super picky and weirdly anal about my nail hygiene.  It squicks me out thinking of chips of polish falling into her cooking... probably because I worked for several years at a fast food chain that prohibited us from wearing nail polish while prepping/serving food.  

[TeddyBonkers]

4 minutes ago, acheronbeach said:

Eek... that busted polish and raggedy nails.  Derick, if you can't afford shellac polish, buy your woman a bottle of acetone... it's like a buck! 

I admit I'm super picky and weirdly anal about my nail hygiene.  It squicks me out thinking of chips of polish falling into her cooking... probably because I worked for several years at a fast food chain that prohibited us from wearing nail polish while prepping/serving food.  

And her HAIR. I have pretty long hair for a non-fundie, and can't abide the thought of not having it in a bun whilst in the kitchen. Of course, I also shed a lot, so....