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Chelsy and John Maxwell 3: Will There Be a Welcome Home Party?


Coconut Flan

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3 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

Was that a toddler I saw sitting on an adult's lap in the car in Chelsy's blog post?  Morons!!

yep hopefully they were parked and actually not driving like that.  looks like they need a bigger car. 

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i just realized, John saw his future in-laws in bed in their jammies...before the wedding!  The scamp!

I'm just wondering, why couldn't Chelsy have had a summer wedding if that's what she wanted?  Is it because it would be a busy time on the farm?

 

 

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53 minutes ago, kpmom said:

i just realized, John saw his future in-laws in bed in their jammies...before the wedding!  The scamp!

I'm just wondering, why couldn't Chelsy have had a summer wedding if that's what she wanted?  Is it because it would be a busy time on the farm?

I think they weren't going to have an engagement that long. It is fairly common to have an engagement a little less than a year in our mainstream culture in the US. She got engaged on Aug 28 so she would have had to wait until June. They already had been in a relationship since Nov 2016. Fundies usually only have engagements of 2-4 months. I think she would have gotten started on wedding planning before he proposed if she hadn't been so busy with the triple wedding weekend. Plus she took on the task of making her own dress. Which I think was way too much. If she had just found a dress very similar to what she wanted and had it altered to her specifications, it would have freed up much more time.

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I don't know Chelsy and John's relationship story but from what I do know, Chelsy can blame patriarchy for her not getting the wedding she always dreamed of. 

I say this because all the Bontragers started their relationships in the Fall of 2016. Yet the only female Bontrager was the last to get engaged and married. She had to wait on John to propose. The Bontragers were free to propose whenever they wanted because their father didn't have some dumbass rule about owning your own home debt free before marriage. Chelsy's father in law had more say in when they got engaged than Chelsy. How can that not rub her the wrong way? How does that not bother her? Personally I think it probably does deep down inside but she won't voice it. Because patriarchy. 

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13 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I don't know Chelsy and John's relationship story but from what I do know, Chelsy can blame patriarchy for her not getting the wedding she always dreamed of. 

I say this because all the Bontragers started their relationships in the Fall of 2016. Yet the only female Bontrager was the last to get engaged and married. She had to wait on John to propose. The Bontragers were free to propose whenever they wanted because their father didn't have some dumbass rule about owning your own home debt free before marriage. Chelsy's father in law had more say in when they got engaged than Chelsy. How can that not rub her the wrong way? How does that not bother her? Personally I think it probably does deep down inside but she won't voice it. Because patriarchy. 

Well, she and John were courting long distance--the boys were all dating local girls.  Perhaps John actually proposed sooner than she expected, rather than later?

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23 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Well, she and John were courting long distance--the boys were all dating local girls.  Perhaps John actually proposed sooner than she expected, rather than later?

I don't know. They first started getting to know each other before they were in a committed relationship in the fall of 2016. 

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This is their relationship timeline. We know that John purchased a home in July and proposed in August. It's possible John couldn't find a home within his price range and within the allotted 1 mile radius of Maxhell until July. He may have wanted to propose sooner but had to go by daddy's rules. I'm not a real estate person but I'm guessing there aren't a ton of cheap fixer uppers within Maxhell at one time. 

IMG_7651.PNG

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So from first date to getting married was just over a year - the majority of which they spent several states away from each other. I think she could have held off a bit longer for the wedding, although I can understand why they wouldn't want to. A year after their engagement would have been summer and fine. 

Speaking of the wedding - was there actual religious content involved? I "watched" via the commentary here and in my memory it was all vasectomy speeches, drones, vanishing brides and nothing else. It seems odd to me that for something that is so huge in that culture that more wasn't made of the religious side of things. Maybe it's more assumed (or quite possibly it just got lost in the "he said what?!" reactions, heh.) It really felt like my totally secular wedding had more religious content - mostly because we borrowed the vows from the Anglican liturgy wholesale, but still. 

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I think that's why they wanted to get married right away. Because they were tired of living five hours apart and probably got to know one another really well even if they didn't see each other face to face a lot. These are fundies. It's not like they are getting to know one another on an intimate level while courting so they most likely got to know one another as best as they could with all the fundie parameters. Even if it was long distance.

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33 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

So from first date to getting married was just over a year - the majority of which they spent several states away from each other. I think she could have held off a bit longer for the wedding, although I can understand why they wouldn't want to. A year after their engagement would have been summer and fine. 

Speaking of the wedding - was there actual religious content involved? I "watched" via the commentary here and in my memory it was all vasectomy speeches, drones, vanishing brides and nothing else. It seems odd to me that for something that is so huge in that culture that more wasn't made of the religious side of things. Maybe it's more assumed (or quite possibly it just got lost in the "he said what?!" reactions, heh.) It really felt like my totally secular wedding had more religious content - mostly because we borrowed the vows from the Anglican liturgy wholesale, but still. 

think about it this way. what else was she going to do if they waited a whole year. stay home and work for her dad. this is what these girls are raised for so what's the point of them waiting a whole year to live the rest of their lives. 

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Plus Chelsy and John married a few weeks before their 27th birthdays. That's late for fundie girls in general. She seems to idealize her childhood and family so I'm guessing she wants to get started on a big family. Like now.

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7 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

IMG_7651.PNG

Maybe this is bitch-eating-crackers snarky, but that timeline reads to me like something I would expect from a teenager, not a 20-something woman (except the engagement/wedding part, of course).

Then again, not only is he probably her first crush but he's her first boyfriend, too... to me it just illustrates once more how sheltered these people are, and I think it's sad that they don't have the opportunity to experience this stuff younger, before being expected right away to start having kids and being parents. (Not to mention no opportunity to really get to know themselves as adults and get to know their prospective partners before making a lifelong, intimate commitment.)

I wish them the best, truly; it's just that all they've missed and the huge risk they are expected to take on blind faith makes me sad.

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On 30/03/2018 at 8:28 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think that's why they wanted to get married right away. Because they were tired of living five hours apart and probably got to know one another really well even if they didn't see each other face to face a lot. These are fundies. It's not like they are getting to know one another on an intimate level while courting so they most likely got to know one another as best as they could with all the fundie parameters. Even if it was long distance.

True... but I probably would have held off until April/May at least so I could have my almost summer wedding. Or had a destination wedding somewhere warmer!  I mean this is one of the biggest days of her life, being able to have it how she'd dreamed of shouldn't be that hard, and another couple of months isn't much in the greater scheme of things.

27 is also average age for marriage here I think - old for fundies, pretty normal for everyone else!

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new post from Chelsey it's three months today.  I like the picture. 

Quote

Three months today, and a lifetime to go, of marriage to my favorite guy!

So blessed, and truly, "completely and perfectly and incandescently happy".

-Chels

Laura-Christine-web-Winter-wedding+JC+%2

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On 3/29/2018 at 3:57 PM, Ozlsn said:

Speaking of the wedding - was there actual religious content involved? I "watched" via the commentary here and in my memory it was all vasectomy speeches, drones, vanishing brides and nothing else. It seems odd to me that for something that is so huge in that culture that more wasn't made of the religious side of things. Maybe it's more assumed (or quite possibly it just got lost in the "he said what?!" reactions, heh.) It really felt like my totally secular wedding had more religious content - mostly because we borrowed the vows from the Anglican liturgy wholesale, but still. 

I've noticed for years how rarely Jesus gets a mention in much of what these folks do. 

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On 30/03/2018 at 4:37 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

This is their relationship timeline. 

IMG_7651.PNG

It still never ceases to amuse me that the evidence of their first conversation was posted on the Bontrager blog and spotted here, and that we predicted John was courting one of the girls even before he actually started to, that we also predicted the engagement, based on John's purchase of the house, only a couple of weeks after it happened and before they announced it. Steve must be so fuming!

4 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

new post from Chelsey it's three months today.  I like the picture. 

Laura-Christine-web-Winter-wedding+JC+%2

Pride and Prejudice quote for the win! Another cultural reference that John won't get. 

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5 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

It still never ceases to amuse me that the evidence of their first conversation was posted on the Bontrager blog and spotted here, and that we predicted John was courting one of the girls even before he actually started to, that we also predicted the engagement, based on John's purchase of the house, only a couple of weeks after it happened and before they announced it. Steve must be so fuming!

Pride and Prejudice quote for the win! Another cultural reference that John won't get. 

good catch. man I can't believe I missed that. I am such a pride and prejudice failure right now. oh well guess it's time to read it for the 100th time. 

:laughing-rollingyellow::laughing-rollingyellow:

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First conversation and first long conversation as relationship statuses...wtf? Wouldn't you have your first conversation the same day you met or is just seeing someone across the room considered meeting? Fundies are weird.

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32 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

It still never ceases to amuse me that the evidence of their first conversation was posted on the Bontrager blog and spotted here, and that we predicted John was courting one of the girls even before he actually started to, that we also predicted the engagement, based on John's purchase of the house, only a couple of weeks after it happened and before they announced it. Steve must be so fuming!

Pride and Prejudice quote for the win! Another cultural reference that John won't get. 

I'm hoping that John chose Chelsy BECAUSE she reads real books and uses quotes like that. Imagine what it must have been like for him to have a conversation with her after growing up in Maxhell. I mean, think about it. How often would John hear anybody in his family talking about a book that wasn't the Bible or something his parents/Sarah had written? Then there's the Bontrager food...

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Okay, that was very sweet of Chelsy's grandma to bake her favorite pie just for her because she could not be present at their annual family reunion. And speaking of grandmas, it's nice to see she found a kind of a soulmate in Gigi. 

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3 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

Okay, that was very sweet of Chelsy's grandma to bake her favorite pie just for her because she could not be present at their annual family reunion. And speaking of grandmas, it's nice to see she found a kind of a soulmate in Gigi. 

I always seem to like the grandparents of these fundies better than the parents. Probably because most of these grandparents didn't raise their children in the harmful fundie homeschooling way. I always wonder what many of them are thinking. We know what Jimmy Lee Duggar thought because he was open about it. Mama Jane is also pretty open about it as well. But I would love to hear what's Gigi thinks. Or grandma Bontrager.

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On 3/29/2018 at 1:37 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

This is their relationship timeline. We know that John purchased a home in July and proposed in August. It's possible John couldn't find a home within his price range and within the allotted 1 mile radius of Maxhell until July. He may have wanted to propose sooner but had to go by daddy's rules. I'm not a real estate person but I'm guessing there aren't a ton of cheap fixer uppers within Maxhell at one time. 

IMG_7651.PNG

What? Long conversation?

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6 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

Pride and Prejudice quote for the win! Another cultural reference that John won't get. 

Chelsea must be exposing John to a world he never even knew was out there. I hope she brought lots of books with her and he starts reading. Maybe they will even be super crazy and do something wild like get a library card and start making regular trips to the library! 

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51 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Chelsea must be exposing John to a world he never even knew was out there. I hope she brought lots of books with her and he starts reading. Maybe they will even be super crazy and do something wild like get a library card and start making regular trips to the library! 

I feel like John has been secretly rebelling for awhile now. We know him as the rebellious Maxwell although I would never think it's major rebellion (like porn). But it wouldn't surprise me at all if he regularly read non Maxwell approved books and looked at non Maxwell approved websites. 

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I want to add that I'm always pleased when young adults who are raised fundie show tiny little rebellions. Because I think it really helps them to see how legalistic their parents and community can be. 

For instance, sporting events. Steve Maxwell is so anti sport because it becomes an idol and of course pro sports are broadcast on the beast. If John was to watch a sporting event on TV (like baseball) and enjoy it, he would realize that sports are not as sinful as his father portrayed and can be enjoyable. Things like that help a fundie kid to realize their parents are not always correct and it helps them to question other teachings.

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