Jinjer 35: The Baby Wait

[LacyMay]

14 hours ago, Edhelfin said:

Sarcasm aside, I cannot believe there are pages and pages of cutesy baby name picking - if you want to do something for Jinger, Jeremy and their baby, confront them on social media and challenge them about their beliefs. THAT will perhaps make them want to educate themselves. Doing their baby name picking for them? What a productive way of 'snarking' on Duggars. I swear sometimes this board does sound like a Duggar fan site, regardless of what the forum disclaimer says.

Yes, bring on the 'if you don't like it, read other forums' comments. That is the go-to response of Duggar leghumpers, 'if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything', 'if you don't like them, why are you even on their page, commenting?'. This is another pet peeve of mine.

 

@nst  This is one of the posts people were referring to (It doesn't actually call us humpers) 

 

Thank you to @nastyhobbitses for summing it up perfectly, you don't have to be fans of the duggars or their religion to acknowledge the "positives" when they happen. I hate Derrick, really truly I do. But I was happy that whatever happened with Sammy's birth he and Jill seemed to come out ok. I'm pretty sure that if I had to sit through one of Jeremy's sermons I would end up shouting angrily from a pew, but I'm happy that he seems to be happy about them having a baby. Jessa's instagram has made me cringe, but hey I'm happy for her that she's enjoying motherhood. 

[nst]

3 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

pped into my mind. If you had to hump any fundie, who would it be? And I’m not talking about being a fan.

Well since I was a quasi fan of Ben before he married Jessa ( and I am over my crush) and you know I had a crush on the teenager what with going into the prayer closet for a year due to my overwhelming need at the time to post photos of him. 

Ben is my answer - good muscles and hair until he started to speak well then it went away 

final answer

cue the shaming 

go ahead I can take it 

ok I can't 

who is yours???

[LacyMay]

Current Ben, Bin at the wedding with the weird hair nope nope nope. But current Ben. 

Yeahso 

Typing that just felt dirty.... please forward my mail and meals to the prayer closet (bleach would also be appreciated) 

[WhoompThereItIs]

7 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Well a disturbing question just popped into my mind. If you had to hump any fundie, who would it be? And I’m not talking about being a fan.

Rufus forgive me, but the horse whisperer himself, Lawson. That boy is fine as hell. He'd just need to keep his mouth shut.

[nst]

good hair what was I actually thinking - and no i won't post pics.  He had good hair a bit of the time. 

 

[MakeItSo]

@HarryPotterFan that's too bad. The university I attended for undergrad was in the process of closing their Criminal Justice department as I was declaring a major, which is why I ended up in film. My adviser said, do you like writing? Here ya go. I said, ok cool. I'm always up for trying new things or taking advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself. I enjoy creative writing and if something came up, I wouldn't turn it down, because why not. I had straight A's all the way through (I received fantastic accommodations and support for being hard of hearing, a T1 diabetic, and having ADHD). I did, however, always know I did not want to have a career in film or TV...at least not immediately. I viewed it as a fancy creative writing degree and really appreciate all the people I have met through it and the insights I've gained. A lot of my scripts ended up being about crime and sports...one can't deny his/her passions and in the end crime won haha. But there are definitely ways to combine the two down the road, if I felt like it. We shall see. I hope you were still able to find happiness with your choice of program.

Also, thank you Rufus for FJ and hockey (it's on in the background) because I have managed to catch the demagorgon of flus. I got the vaccine early and am talented enough to catch a strain not included in the vaccine. 

[nastyhobbitses]

16 minutes ago, WhoompThereItIs said:

Rufus forgive me, but the horse whisperer himself, Lawson. That boy is fine as hell. He'd just need to keep his mouth shut.

I'd take Nathan over him any day, tbh. 

Also, I feel horrible saying this given the objectification they go through in their cult, but...Tori Smith is totally the type of girl I'm into. 

[SilverBeach]

I recently said Jana was lovely, no snark. Doesn't make me a leghumper. For those who just like discussing names, thats ok too.

However, I'm Black and find it harder to divorce things associated with terrible people from terrible people. I just can't appreciate confederate monuments as art, for example. But that's just me. 

I think it can be problematic when the dress/wedding/baby talk takes over (I'm into cats myself). It starts to seem as though FJ really doesn't have a problem with the Duggars, especially the women.

Personally, I don't like them, especially given their unwavering support of the Orange Menace who would likely put me and my people back on the plantation. Some of us take this more seriously than others.

FJ has definitely softened toward the Duggars (not including Josh) since I first joined in 2012 (my profile says I joined in 2015, but I actually rejoined then). I do skip over the softer stuff, and would have said nothing about it if another member hadn't brought it up. It's been counterproductive for me to talk about it and doesn't change anything.

The Duggars are my gateway fundies, going back to the frumper days. I don't like  hard snark being unacceptable when directed toward the Duggar women, but I avail myself of the rest of the vast FJ playground when it gets to be too much over here.

To each her own, but I do wish there was more room here for those of us who refuse to squee over any aspect of Duggar lives. 

[tabitha2]

 If all these ladies have healthy uneventful pregnancies and births  resulting in healthy babies  we are allowed to be happy for them and with them at least for a little while because even if you despise them and their believes they are still humans. YMMV.

[Rachel333]

Regarding name discussions, I always took it as more of an indication that people just like talking about names rather than about any particular positive sentiment towards the Duggars.

[Kailash]

I understand what @SilverBeach and @Edhelfin object to. There are so many posts saying extremely positive things about these families that sometimes it's easy to forget that they hold many hateful, and hurtful beliefs. I'm going to try harder to appreciate the posters who consistently point out their harmful beliefs.

[Daisy0322]

2 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Well a disturbing question just popped into my mind. If you had to hump any fundie, who would it be? And I’m not talking about being a fan.

Ben and Jeremy.... preferably at the same time.  

Side note: as long as Ben takes some allergy meds first, i can't stand his voice all nasaly.... on second thought I'd rather neither of them speak.

[MsSaylor]

FJ has definitely softened over the years especially towards the Duggars. I think that the change is more positive than negative though. I’ve been reading here since 2009, and I would not join or post back then because it was way too harsh and people got dog piled constantly. But some of the snark back then was very misogynistic and just disgusting and posters would get slapped for saying anything positive.  Im glad that has been cleaned up and it is also much more welcoming towards posters, allowing for more diversity in opinion and more open discussion.  Which is awesome!

I do feel the Duggar threads can sometimes be held to a different standard in the type of snark tolerated overall. It seems like posters can snark more freely on other families without getting hand slapped but posters are more sensitive about the Duggars.  I kind of get why. Its been so harsh in the past that it got hard to stomach for a lot of posters. The two competing forces a lot of us have to both root for the kidults and have empathy for them but also hate that theyre bringing up another generation in the same beliefs is hard to reconcile. 

[mizandry]

I'm having a hard time seeing how the presence of baby name speculation and conditional "positive" comments means we're not making space for discussion about the harmful beliefs they promote and subscribe to. That's what I've seen the bulk of the "nice" comments predicated on to begin with. 

I don't feel like I'm reading the same threads as everyone, because even the compliments I've seen are typically of the "who is the least fucked up" variety. The pretense of most of the comments are usually insulting enough for me to think any Duggar reading them would be offended even if they didn't know it came from heathen FJ. And even then, the threads where these comments are made are routinely interspersed with criticism for being too generous/not generous enough and reminders about their harmful beliefs. 

Regardless, it's insulting to suggest that FJ users are fans by virtue of guessing names or having conflicting feelings about these fundies when they see potential for them to be better people. This isn't barring anyone from being critical about the Duggars. Not talking shit 24/7 doesn't mean we're "squeeing" over them, it just means we're trying to have hope because that's what helps us to deal with the shit we're seeing. It's insulting to me given the multiple times I've made really long rants about how much these same Duggars infuriate and concern me for one reason or another. I was one of the first to say Jeremy squicks me the fuck out and he still does. And needless to say, I'm not some anomaly on this board. Take issue with the direction the thread is going if you want to, but don't tell the people partaking in that discussion that we might as well be fans because of it. 
 

[Coconut Flan]

Talking about board culture really, truly belongs in Community Discussion.  Thanks!

[eveandadam]

8 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I'd take Nathan over him any day, tbh. 

Also, I feel horrible saying this given the objectification they go through in their cult, but...Tori Smith is totally the type of girl I'm into. 

Yap, Tori is really really beautiful!

As for the Duggars: Jinger and Jana have always been my girls. The swag Jinger used to have

Spoiler

And the half way smiles / smirks Jana gives with a sidedish of FU in her eyes are really funny:

Spoiler

 

[Edhelfin]

7 hours ago, LacyMay said:

*snip* I'm happy that he seems to be happy about them having a baby. 

He is a fundie from a conservative breeding cult. He gets to spread his seed. Would he NOT be happy? He does not deserve a cookie for it.

The focus is no longer on criticising the family and the damage they are doing. 'Oh I am allowed to guess baby names if I dislike their beliefs' is not a good enough excuse, for all we know Duggars may be reading here and what they see is mostly support. Support that will increase their media presence and encourage them. Support that makes some of the people here... quasi-humpers?

He is also an anti-LGBTQI+, anti-Catholic idiot. I do not merely dislike him and people of his mindset. What I feel about Duggars are... kinetic, for the lack of a better word in my head. They are actively doing damage to the world and I actively HATE them. They need that kind of aggressive response to be brought down, not indifference, 30% snark/70% cooing or whatever a good ratio in your head is. If they see my petty-but-negative comments about them while reading here, if that effects their daily mode even one bit, I am happy.

NOTE: Bates family members are Confederate fans and that includes the hot Johnny Rebel wannabes in wet shirts: Lawson and Nathan. They should not only keep their mouth shut - they should also avoid bringing children into this world whom they will influence with such dangerous views. Ben seems to be the most level headed fundie boy so far, but I am not sure his Black Lives Matter support would extend beyond his Christianity frame to, let's say, black Muslims.

[FundieCentral]

@Edhelfin: 

Yes, but not of all of us might be quite as ideologically/passionately/emotionally invested as you. 

In my head it’s perfectly ok that you hate strangers from a reality show. But this forum is a hobby to me personally, not my life. I choose to invest my emotional energy elsewhere. I’m as invested in the Duggars as I am in the British royal family - barely. I discuss topics such as fundamentalism because I’m interested in them, not because I actively want to bring the Duggars down; it’s just not my hill to die on. I like to read people’s stories and experiences and gossip and learn or be entertained. I also don’t derive happiness from hoping that a reality star gets offended by my opinion of them. I’d rather watch from a distance and be a helping hand once one of them takes a step out. 

Again, not saying you can’t do those things, or that I mind your contributions in any way (I don’t). But this forum is a diverse collection of people with diverse knowledge, experience, faiths etc. It is inevitable that our modes of interaction with this topic will differ. 

[LacyMay]

3 hours ago, Edhelfin said:

He is a fundie from a conservative breeding cult. He gets to spread his seed. Would he NOT be happy? He does not deserve a cookie for it.

I am unashamedly happy that he is happy they are pregnant. 

You know why? Because it is a million times better than the alternative which is a baby being born and not wanted. I can't control their ability to reproduce, but I will pick a wanted child born into shitty religion than an unwanted child somewhere else any day. 

I'm going to leave this here (since it's the only part really specific to this thread) and recommend as @Coconut Flan suggested that the rest of these concerns be brought to the community discussion. 

[elliha]

I think that recognizing that fundies might have positive personality traits or do good things is important because if we only focus on the negative they turn into non-human and monsters which they are not. They are human and this what actually make them dangerous. If they were truly monsters no one would follow them or listen to them. It is like when people describe those who fights for IS as animals and such. They are not, they are human and they have very different motivations to make this in my view terrible choice but they are not of a different species than those that do not. 

About girls, sports and Jeremy I think that if his sister did sports when he was a child I think he will be 100% OK with sports for girls. If she didn't I think it will be a more open question. I think that Jeremy will use his own childhood experience as his main inspiration for how he will raise his kids which is probably good since I think that he got a more well-rounded education and got to experience more of the regular world than any Duggar. I think Jinger is perfectly fine with being more a Vuolo than a Duggar in this respect.

[nastyhobbitses]

Further thoughts: I am often harsh on the Duggars and Bateses (as you can see from my post history), but I also understand that the kids/kidults (I have no such soft spots for Michelle/JB/Gil/Kelly) were born and raised in a cult and their parents have intentionally made sure that they know little else and have little reason or incentive to leave. We can say all we want that the adults choose the life, and I think that's true, but if you're 26 years old, pretty much uneducated, and raised in a cult that teaches you to ask no questions and "be content", it's damn hard to undo 26 years of that shit. I hate the parents and the people who choose this life and force it onto others, but I choose not to hate the people born into it and stuck (except when/if they do really shitty things), because they didn't have a choice. I think Jill is shitty for how she's acting towards brown people and putting her kids in straitjackets instead of disciplining them effectively and compassionately, but I also understand that she's a product of her upbringing (though my patience is wearing thin with her). I wanted to punch Jessa for her Holocaust comments, but I also know that her parents made sure she never learned what really happened in the Holocaust and the context surrounding it. It annoys me that they remain ignorant when they have the option not to be, but I also understand that they were raised to unquestioningly obey, never ask questions, to regard learning as corrupting, and to be "content" (and JB likely uses finances to manipulate them further). But that excuse only takes them so far. 

These fundie families do incredibly shitty things and I will always call them on that bullshit. But I'm not going to say that people shouldn't reproduce (that's a slippery-ass slope, even if I do wish that no more children are born into this cult and taught to be shitty people), I'm going to be happy for people who have a baby they want very much, I'm going to snark on wedding dresses, and I'm going to see the humanity in people who have the capacity to be better, even if they never see that or realize it. 

But fuck Michelle and JB. 

[Timetraveler]

9 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

Ben and Jeremy.... preferably at the same time.  

Side note: as long as Ben takes some allergy meds first, i can't stand his voice all nasaly.... on second thought I'd rather neither of them speak.

For a moment I thought you were talking about B&J icecream 

[SongRed7]

On 1/7/2018 at 4:31 AM, Edhelfin said:

if you want to do something for Jinger, Jeremy and their baby, confront them on social media and challenge them about their beliefs. THAT will perhaps make them want to educate themselves.

Challenging people you know or don't know on social media is a GREAT way  to make people become introspective and change their beliefs......said no one ever.   I'm sorry but flaming people on social media only makes people on whatever side of whatever issue more entrenched in their beliefs.  I don't know of a single person who looked at a confrontational post, a meme or other communication that proclaimed "You're are wrong, you suck and here's why" and said to themselves "Gee, I see your point, you are right!"    

It might make  you feel better getting something off your chest, but there are much better ways to affect change.  Social media isn't high on the list IMHO.  Slack-tivisim at its finest.

[Four is Enough]

4 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

But fuck Michelle and JB. 

Oh, they DO....

sorry, couldn't resist.

[Daisy0322]

Alright y'all I'm probably going to get down voted to all hell for this but, oh well. Can we go back to having fun please? I think that's why most of us come here, it's okay to disagree with each other without attacking each other's morals. We are an fj fam and part of what great about it is that we come from different back grounds and bring different points of view. But with that said I think we should all try to be a little kinder to each other. 

Alright I'll leave it at that, agree with me or not no hard feelings