Jinjer 35: The Baby Wait

[Coconut Flan 44,651]

Shockingly this thread is about Jinger not Jessa. 

Continued from here:

 

[Kaylo 1,924]

Everything is about Jessa.

[GreatScott 740]

I don’t understand where people are getting the idea that Jinger and Jeremy will be great parents. They haven’t shown anything different than her siblings, Jeremy is just as focused on no gay, no sin, no fun, and a year of no kids doesn’t mean They’ve changed their ways and this kid won’t be expected to fit in rigid gender roles, be guilted into ‘loving god’ and fed the same bullshit the rest of her family does. 

Theyre just better at presenting the horrible ideals. A pretty wrapping job doesn’t hide the flaming dog shit. 

[rainbowbabycakes 1,369]

I kind of like Tozer too... and another J name I can't believe they've never used is Jonah

[Tangy Bee 5,004]

Well looks like most of her year will be spent being pregnant. Hope all goes well. They look very excited. I will always wonder if that 1st year without a baby was their plan.  

[HarleyQuinn 39,810]

Jinger was the least maternal out of all the J'slaves to her buddies, IMO. So I have no idea how that will translate to parenting. Jill seemed to really care for her buddy team and she's proven to be a pretty awful parent so far. Jessa was always nice to Jordyn and turned out to be a seemingly attentive parent. It's hard to guage from what you see on TV. But Jinger I feel like we definitely saw the least with the kiddos. 

[HideousGreenShirt 7,367]

I'm going for Alex for either jinder. If it's a boy I'm saying Alex Jeremy or Jeremy Junior and they will call it AJ or JJ.

[BlondeIdol 1,318]

37 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Jinger was the least maternal out of all the J'slaves to her buddies, IMO. So I have no idea how that will translate to parenting. Jill seemed to really care for her buddy team and she's proven to be a pretty awful parent so far. Jessa was always nice to Jordyn and turned out to be a seemingly attentive parent. It's hard to guage from what you see on TV. But Jinger I feel like we definitely saw the least with the kiddos. 

Jinger doesn't seem very maternal at all. I don't remember which episode of Counting On but at one point she did talk about how attending births and such was not really her thing. I also wonder how it will translate. 

From what I've observed throughout my life, women who aren't very maternal before hand turn out to be very good with their own children. Maybe Jinger will turn out the same way.

Jill seems very awkward with her boys. While it is hard to judge that from reality TV, you'd never have guessed it because she seemed so into her buddy team. 

[LacyMay 11,300]

It's been mentioned in a few roundabout ways but I'm going to add my voice to the group saying that for the most part our parenting predictions haven't been super great. I remember lurking and reading all about how Jill was going to be a great mom and transition to fundie lite and spend time on pinterest and etc (I also remember some serious celebration when she Derelict took her to see Cinderella...). And how Oh gosh what kind of mom would Jessa be! her kids would be miserable! she would be miserable! 

Whelp those turned out differently than expected. 

I don't want to wade into if Jinger and Jeremy will be great parents (because to be honest I think that the term great parents leaves a lot open for interpretation) I do have high hopes that baby Vuolo will be well loved and well cared for and wanted all of which has to count for something. At the very least I have high hopes that Jeremy won't accuse his toddler of being manipulative. 
 

Also I'm not sure buddy teams are the best way to gauge Jinger's potential parenting style, IIRC her buddies were Johanna and Jed. It's been a long time since Jed would have needed a buddy and I don't really remember seeing a lot of her and Johanna to judge off. It's possible that where she had such a small team and they were so spread out in age that it was never really a big story line for her.  Same to the comments she made about attending births, I'm sure I know plenty of great parents that wouldn't want to attend someone else's birth. 

Edited January 6, 2018 by LacyMay

[Glasgowghirl 23,958]

My cousin always hated kids and didn't want any kids, now she is married and just had her second daughter. She is a brilliant mum, Jinger may be a good mum too. She probably didn't want be raising kids that were not hers and who can blame her she spent half her childhood and teenage years doing the job that her parents should have done. She has had some time to adjust to married life and maybe now feels ready to be a mother. 

[Rachel333 41,984]

My doctor complains that whenever he has to say the name "Tozer" (the name someone else who works in the practice) in the speech to text program the hospital uses the program always interprets it as "toe czar," so that's what I think whenever someone suggests Tozer as a name. 

[Daisy0322 8,862]

1 hour ago, BlondeIdol said:

 

Jill seems very awkward with her boys. While it is hard to judge that from reality TV, you'd never have guessed it because she seemed so into her buddy team. 

Now that I think about it, Jill seemed a lot more into being joys sister mom than the boys in her buddy team.

[SapphireSlytherin 30,533]

28 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

always interprets it as "toe czar,"

Hey - a new title for Derick! lol

[NakedKnees 6,927]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but one thing that stood out to me about Jinger on the shows is how she seemed to gravitate toward solitary "jurisdictions." She went between laundry and cooking rather than homeschooling and raising littles. 

I don't know if it means anything, but if she's happier/more comfortable around less talk and people and craziness, then I think it's shown in her marriage so far and may show in her parenting. If this is true, it has nothing at all to do with changes in beliefs. It's just a personality thing. She could even still be QF but be more Maxwellian rather than TTH-full-of-howlers.

[VelociRapture 100,747]

43 minutes ago, Daisy0322 said:

Now that I think about it, Jill seemed a lot more into being joys sister mom than the boys in her buddy team.

Jill had a total of three buddies and James was the only boy on her team - Joy and Jennie were the other two. James helped chaperone her dates a lot during their courtship and he seemed to spend a good amount of time with Jill after her marriage. We can’t really know what their relationships were like based only off the show, but I never got the sense that Jill ignored or neglected James. 

 

1 hour ago, BlondeIdol said:

Jinger doesn't seem very maternal at all. I don't remember which episode of Counting On but at one point she did talk about how attending births and such was not really her thing. I also wonder how it will translate. 

From what I've observed throughout my life, women who aren't very maternal before hand turn out to be very good with their own children. Maybe Jinger will turn out the same way.

Jill seems very awkward with her boys. While it is hard to judge that from reality TV, you'd never have guessed it because she seemed so into her buddy team. 

I don’t watch the show, so I can’t judge based off that. Going off of Instagram though... I think she’s naturally just a bit awkward. She isn’t as good at coming across in a relatable way as often as Jessa does. I do think she loves her sons and is much more of a natural parent than Derick is (she posts far sweeter stuff more consistently about the boys than he does), but I also think she had a lot to deal with as she transitioned to parenthood that Jessa didn’t need to deal with* and that may very well have had a major impact on her parenting.

*And yes, the things she had to deal with were almost entirely the result of choices she and Derick made. Benessa made some fairly solid choices in staying close to their support systems and remaining in an area where they’re familiar with the language and culture. There are definitely couples and families who thrive by living in foreign countries, but I don’t think the Dills were necessarily one of them.

[jqlgoblue 1,144]

I do think the first year w/o baby was a plan. Also, Jeremy is one of two kids. I could see them not having as many kids as they possibly can. I think Jeremy potentially being open to that might have been an appealing thing for Jinger. They certainly did something that worked to not get pregnant for this long so it leaves me hopeful they can/will space the kids out more. I do think there will be pressure from the Duggars to keep the kids coming though.

As for being one of the "motherly" girls / desiring a baby young equating to good parenting, I will say I don't think there is much correlation. If you don't want kids that is one thing, but if you like kids but people don't see you as "maternal" that is another one entirely. I am one of those people that at first can seem a bit aloof but once I know you I will do all I can for you. I'm sure people don't think I'm "maternal" but all of my friends are impressed when I interact with their kids (maybe in part b/c they don't think of me as being maternal). That said, appearances aren't everything. I can see Jinger being that way. Also, she has a maturity to her. I think she will be just fine as a parent, unless she has eleventy, but that is true for all of them.

[Carm_88 84,216]

3 minutes ago, jqlgoblue said:

 Also, Jeremy is one of two kids.

Jeremy is the youngest of three. He has a sister and a brother Chuck. The sister's name escapes me at the moment. 

[Texas Heifer 7,623]

1 minute ago, Carm_88 said:

Jeremy is the youngest of three. He has a sister and a brother Chuck. The sister's name escapes me at the moment. 

I think the sister's name is Valerie.

[bal maiden 7,060]

Jinger and Jeremy (especially Jeremy) have a very curated image that they meticulously maintain. I hope the parenting of FutureVuolo is not subjugated to that end

[luv2laugh 15,616]

20 minutes ago, bal maiden said:

Jinger and Jeremy (especially Jeremy) have a very curated image that they meticulously maintain. I hope the parenting of FutureVuolo is not subjugated to that end

What do you mean? Curious...

[VineHeart137 13,789]

2 hours ago, BlondeIdol said:

Jill seems very awkward with her boys. While it is hard to judge that from reality TV, you'd never have guessed it because she seemed so into her buddy team. 

As much responsibility as Jill and her sisters had as sister-moms, I'd venture a guess that being an actual mom is even harder. Jill probably enjoyed getting her buddies ready for the day and doing fun activities with them, but I wouldn't be surprised if she never really had to be much of a disciplinarian to them- if they were giving her trouble she could easily call Jana or even Jessa as back up. She can't do that with her own children. It's all Jill, all the time, especially since she and Derick chose to leave their entire support system behind to vacation, I mean minister in Central America.

[singsingsing 109,964]

I'm going to be honest here and say that I don't think any of these women's level of maternal feeling/love for children/enjoyment of being a sister mom/actual mom is something that we can even remotely guess at based on the very limited relevant interactions we saw on the TV show. We just don't have enough information to judge that. It's entirely possible that one sister who was usually extremely maternal was always stressed when filming was happening and appeared impatient and uninterested, and it's also possible that a sister who appeared extremely maternal was actually just putting on a show for the cameras... And so much depends on how TLC chose to edit and frame it.

[Iamtheway 18,921]

3 hours ago, LacyMay said:

Same to the comments she made about attending births, I'm sure I know plenty of great parents that wouldn't want to attend someone else's birth. 

I didn’t really want to attend Miniway’s birth either (I might even have said I wanted to go home during it) but I still think I’m a fairly decent mum.

[LilMissMetaphor 14,101]

2 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

My doctor complains that whenever he has to say the name "Tozer" (the name someone else who works in the practice) in the speech to text program the hospital uses the program always interprets it as "toe czar," so that's what I think whenever someone suggests Tozer as a name. 

 

I keep thinking Tool + Hoser...

[SCROW10 213]

I always thought Jessa would be a good mom. She practiced tough love on her siblings but with Jordyn and one on one time with Jinger you could see her softer side come out. 

I for the first time hope a Duggar has a daughter in Jinger. I could see her being a *better* mom to a girl than a boy. I can also see Jill being better at mothering a girl but I don't want a girl in that household.