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Mortons: A new year of Marryin', Birthin', and Writin'


SolomonFundy

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So, I've thought about this too much, and I did a general estimate of how many kids each Morton might have total, based on how much fertility the women likely have left (with 43 as the cut off for last child). I also assumed Adeline wouldn't have any kids and Martha would only have Zandry (which is looking like it might not be true). 

Based on this, and I did try to be conservative, I've got:

Katie: 8
Michael: 12
Cleve: 6
Wesley: 12
Dorothy: 9
Adeline: 0
Martha: 1
Andrew: 12
Samuel: 12

If John, Edwin and Paul have 10 kids each, that gives 102. 

Then I did a more mathematical estimate of a max and min number of kids over the remaining fertility years. The min number was based on the longest time between births for a woman, or, if the woman hasn't given birth, 24 months. The max was based on a couple of things, depending on the woman: a general estimate based on how many months between the last several births, the average amount of time between births, or mean of the average time of superfertile Michelle Duggar and Kelly Bates. I tried to be conservative when picking those times. This is what I got (min, max):

Katie: 8, 8
Michael: 13, 15
Cleve: 7, 8
Wesley: 13, 14
Dorothy: 9, 10
Adeline: 0, 0
Martha: 1, 1
Andrew: 12, 16
Samuel: 13, 17
John: 11, 16

If Edwin and Paul both have 10 kids each, this gives a total min of 107 and a total max of 125. 

I, obviously, have way too much time on my hands. 

Edited by anjulibai
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Rachel is cooking #7. Kressant has...8? She is no doubt soon to be cooking #9. Being half a world away hasn't changed any of their breeding beliefs. By the end of 2020 both Kressant & Rachel can easily produce another human. Cleve & Lise are a bit slower than average Morton, but not slow enough to shake up the average. Alyssa had her 3rd fewer than 24 months after her wedding. Kennedy has 2 and although somewhat reasonably spaced, we can bet it's not by choice and #3 is in the works from all their best efforts. Martha has one, but either she discovered fattening foods or is pregnant again - even a 3 year span, given her age, over time, produces a ton of kids. Dorothy has larger gaps but is  still very regulear; however they're doing it or it's happeneing, there are another 4-5 kids in their future. 

Addie is currently an unmarried co-parent, but she's still reproductively young enough to spring forth 2- 10 from her godly womb. 

John & Campbell haven't officially started yet, but come on...by the end of 2020 you know there will be a new Morton. They may even be well on thier way to a second by then...it's only February, after all. 

The two unmarried boys - Paul & Edmond? - have lots of sperm and tension built up. As soon as they're paired off, you can bet they'll be making' the babies. And, many babies at that. 

I think, overall, 100 Morton grandchildren is not at all out of the question. 

The only one who is - temporarily -out of the equation is Katie. But, come on, these are fundies. When the chance comes along, who doesn't know she'll be married off and making more babies? She's in her 30's,  having already birthed 8 kids, she's prime for more. She's clearly fertile. 

And, too much thought to other people's sex lives....none of them leaves jack shit up to their god. They bang on the regular - not because it's fun or feels good or is a way to pass time or bond or just plain enjoy life - but because it makes new human beings. 

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14 hours ago, fundiefan said:

And, too much thought to other people's sex lives....none of them leaves jack shit up to their god. They bang on the regular - not because it's fun or feels good or is a way to pass time or bond or just plain enjoy life - but because it makes new human beings. 

I don't know... The Mortons don't strike me as puritanical in the sense that sex is for baby-making only. Most of the couples, especially the younger ones, seem to have a lot of chemistry.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I didn't remember where we had last talked about Alan, so I posted some new information in his archived thread. Crossposting here --- in short, he has some new convictions, a lot worse this time. Looks like he may be gone for a long long time. Sigh of relief for Katie and the kids.

 

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So that explains what they were back in court about. Must be a huge relief-- I was honestly confused as to why his first sentence was so short, and I'm glad something was done about it.

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Very thankful to see those lengthy sentences handed down. I hope that Alan serves every last nano-second of them.

Very revolted to see that Alan was apparently committing his crimes for YEARS, given the 2012 & 2016 dates for the charges filed against him in the two counties.

VERY glad that Katie & the children look to be out of his reach in any way for a long, long time. 

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Spalding is a new one. The original report was for crimes committed in Colquitt and Ashburn. It does seem like this second round of charges was the prompt that caused the family to celebrate a few weeks ago. I am THRILLED that this piece of human garbage will be in prison for another few decades. It does make me wonder if there could be more convictions added down the line. 

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I posted in a different thread the Morton data I had calculated in the style of the Duggar Data tumblr. According to my calculations based on their current (or Morton average) birthrate: 

Katie: 8 (7 short of mathematical prediction)

Kressant: 13

Lise: 5

Rachel: 13

Dorothy: 9

Adeline: 9?? but I don't see this

Martha: 8

Kennedy: 13

Alyssa: 19

Campbell: 11

Edwin and Paul's wives: 12 each


Total: 132!

 

 

 

Edited by neurogirl
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5 hours ago, neurogirl said:

I posted in a different thread the Morton data I had calculated in the style of the Duggar Data tumblr. According to my calculations based on their current (or Morton average) birthrate: 

Katie: 8 (7 short of mathematical prediction)

Kressant: 13

Lise: 5

Rachel: 13

Dorothy: 9

Adeline: 9?? but I don't see this

Martha: 8

Kennedy: 13

Alyssa: 19

Campbell: 11

Edwin and Paul's wives: 12 each


Total: 132!

 

 

 

I think Adeline and Martha are too high. Adeline is single and may stay that way for awhile. And Dorothy’s youngest is 3. I suspect she may have had some secondary infertility going on. And if that’s the case, I imagine her total number could be lower than 8. Plus it’s hard to say what will happen with Paul and Edwin. Those are some very high numbers for boys who haven’t married yet. 

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1 hour ago, browngrl said:

didn't Dorthy have a baby girl last year?

Yes, Brielle. Martha has had the longest gap and three years and counting. 

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5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think Adeline and Martha are too high. Adeline is single and may stay that way for awhile. And Dorothy’s youngest is 3. I suspect she may have had some secondary infertility going on. And if that’s the case, I imagine her total number could be lower than 8. Plus it’s hard to say what will happen with Paul and Edwin. Those are some very high numbers for boys who haven’t married yet. 

I’m sorry! I meant to say Martha, not Dorothy. Martha has Zandry who is three. Dorothy has some well spaced kids though. 

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@JermajestyDuggar Just wanted to clarify that those numbers are based off Morton averages, not my personal predictions. 

As of Sept 2018, the average spacing from marriage to first baby was 301 days! (+/- 46). Nearly everyone was having a baby before the first anniversary. So the math predicts Edwin and Paul will as well. The average spacing for the 2nd-nth babies amongst the Mortons was more variable, at 603 +/- 171 days. Still, since Mortons tend to marry very young, (around age 21), the math predicts Edwin and Paul will both marry women who are 21 when they are 21, have a baby 301 days later, and subsequent babies 603 days after that until the woman turns 40, working out to a predicted quiver of 12. 

It's definitely imperfect- the math is better for those Mortons who have 3+ kids already, as I looked at their linear trends AND averages to calculate expected quiver - but even then, it's just for fun!

Edited by neurogirl
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Martha, via instagram, is starting some MLM-ish venture.  ??  She's "looking for six Mama Bears" to join her "trying" some "plant based products [that] are helping people have more energy, better sleep, get rid of sugar cravings and so much more!"

Bless her heart. 

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7 minutes ago, caitrona said:

Martha, via instagram, is starting some MLM-ish venture.  ??  She's "looking for six Mama Bears" to join her "trying" some "plant based products [that] are helping people have more energy, better sleep, get rid of sugar cravings and so much more!"

Bless her heart. 

Sounds like plexus or thrive

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11 minutes ago, EmiGirl said:

Sounds like plexus or thrive

According to her bio, it's Plexus. :my_confused:

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20 minutes ago, albireo said:

According to her bio, it's Plexus. :my_confused:

WHY? I don’t get it! They only have one mouth to feed. They don’t have 10 kids that are going hungry and she needs to bring in extra cash. Why bother? The fundie market is so saturated! I bet 100 gallons of pink drink that she makes no money. 

 

Edited by JermajestyDuggar
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She’s probably just bored. Here’s a girl who wrote a book of her own volition; she probably likes *doing* things and she only has one kid and isn’t allowed to work out of the house - she probably just wants some mental stimulation. 

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So apparently it is not only Martha who started the whole Plexus nightmare, but Kennedy as well. The run the same circles and know the same people. I just don't get it. It is the same with Allison, Carolina and Cassidy Bontrager who are ALL into Young Living.

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19 hours ago, caitrona said:

Martha, via instagram, is starting some MLM-ish venture.  ??  She's "looking for six Mama Bears" to join her "trying" some "plant based products [that] are helping people have more energy, better sleep, get rid of sugar cravings and so much more!"

Bless her heart. 

If it turns out to be Xyngular, worlds will collide for some of us.

ETA: never mind. I should have read to the end of the thread. Different worlds colliding. Pink Drink, huh? Hope she's not pregnant.

Edited by Black Aliss
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Stumbled on these Reddit anti-MLM discussions a while ago.

The snark is enjoyable but it is very enlightening to see how little money (as in NONE) so many of the downline people make versus how much a few make at the top. 

Agree with everyone who is wondering why the fuck Martha is doing this. 

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2 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

The snark is enjoyable but it is very enlightening to see how little money (as in NONE) so many of the downline people make versus how much a few make at the top. 

There's a podcast called The Dream that you ought to listen to. It's a journalist who speaks to people involved in MLMs at every level and it's pretty grim. Also gets into a lot of the psychology of how women specifically get sucked into this stuff, and the history of it.

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Noticed it looks like Tayte and Martha have moved. I don't follow her but one of the others (Addie?) has pictures up of it. Looks like either Kressant or Rachel's house? Trying to remember where everyone is now. 

Sam and Alyssa have one of the two apartments and are building. 

John and Campbell built there home already.

Tayte and Martha into one of the open homes (guessing Kressant)

Kennedy and Andre have the one they added on to.

That leaves Cleve and Lise who appear to move around a bit. And Rachel's home and the second apartment unaccounted for. They should have plenty of space for the last two boys to marry. 

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