Trouble in Paradise at Generation Cedar?

[chaotic life]

My oldest is insanely talented artistically. He can blow my mind with the amazing quality of his work.

He is also slower than watching paint dry when it comes to his art. He could never make a living wage from it, and I suspect he would come to hate it if he tried.

He’s a buser at Olive Garden. Good, honest work to do part time while in college. He saves his art for a hobby.

[lilith]

1 hour ago, chaotic life said:

My oldest is insanely talented artistically. He can blow my mind with the amazing quality of his work.

He is also slower than watching paint dry when it comes to his art. He could never make a living wage from it, and I suspect he would come to hate it if he tried.

He’s a buser at Olive Garden. Good, honest work to do part time while in college. He saves his art for a hobby.

But is it the NICE Olive Garden? It must be a SEVERE disappointment to your maternal ambitions if he works at the plain old every day Olive Garden.

[chaotic life]

[emoji23] Actually it’s a disappointment that he works at any Olive Garden only because he wants a career in healthcare and I have repeatedly offered to get him a nurse aide or tech position that would start building his resume and he chooses to stay at Olive Garden.

But beyond that, we only have one Olive Garden and cannot afford to eat there and don’t eat pasta, but I suppose it must be the ordinary one since we only have the one.

One child works at a jewelry store, the one is a buser, and a third is a nanny. The other adult child is job hunting right now. He was working as a farm hand and got tired of crazy for a boss. Every one of them were homeschooled for their younger years and every one of them transitioned to public school before high school. They are young. They have goals for their future. They are either in school or working to get into school. They aren’t doing the Fundie idea of marry young and have a dozen kids that I foolishly fell into, so they will get there. People are telling me to charge the three still at home rent. I don’t want rent though. I want them to consistently help with cleaning and pitch in with buying groceries is all. Well that and it would be nice if the 21 year old would remember his house key when he crashes at his gilfriend’s cause 5am requests to let him inside are getting old.

But I have strayed FAR from those Fundie roots I started in too. All of my girls of reproductive age has long acting birth control and I keep Plan B is the medicine closet for no questions asked emergencies for any of my kids should they ever need it. That and I divorced their jerk of a father, which I am certain would make me untouchable now in Fundie circles.

[Palimpsest]

On 1/9/2018 at 3:15 PM, Sobeknofret said:

While I have no issues at all with working at Chik fil A, or working as a cleaner, it doesn't sound like the ringing endorsement for homeschooling as raising that culture in any significant way she was hoping for.

Neither do I.  And few artists manage to support themselves fully with their art, but a non-challenging job can support them while they try to make it.

If that is what Ashton is doing, power to him.  And there is nothing wrong with being a cleaning lady or developing a cleaning business either.  It just doesn't seem to reflect Kelly's grandiose claims for her brilliance at homeschooling .

But this is Kelly.  I haven't read her for ages and I must snark!

Quote

A friend recently shared with me how her two homeschool-graduate sons were doing in their classes at college.  She humbly expressed gratitude [In the real world this is known as humble bragging] that their professors seemed to be overwhelmed with their character, [Shadrach, you really are a character (and not in a good way.)] introducing them to colleagues at every chance, [Meshach, let me introduce you to Professor Jones.  She has a remedial English class you should be interested in taking.] and in general, praising them for their diligence in their work and their outstanding communication skills. [Abednego, yes, thanks.  I appreciate that your paper was handed in before the deadline.  The footnote telling me how much you prayed about it was really special.  You still get a C.] It’s as if they’ve discovered a rare treasure among their students.

http://www.generationcedar.com/main/2018/01/5-ways-parents-can-learn-daniel-raise-men-women-excellence.html

[lilith]

7 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Neither do I.  And few artists manage to support themselves fully with their art, but a non-challenging job can support them while they try to make it.

If that is what Ashton is doing, power to him.  And there is nothing wrong with being a cleaning lady or developing a cleaning business either.  It just doesn't seem to reflect Kelly's grandiose claims for her brilliance at homeschooling .

But this is Kelly.  I haven't read her for ages and I must snark!

http://www.generationcedar.com/main/2018/01/5-ways-parents-can-learn-daniel-raise-men-women-excellence.html

Overwhelmed with their character? For fucks sake - hyperbole much?

[refugee]

Teachers can be impressed with homeschooled students’ attitudes — we’ve seen this ourselves. Our kids learned to love learning both at home and in the outside classes we did. (I had no illusions of being able to teach them everything.) In classes in high school and college, they were focused and engaged (and annoyed by time-wasting students in the local high school who acted up in class and interfered with learning/teaching). So of course their teachers are impressed by the serious, focused attention they get.

Of course, there’s also the downside of having trouble relating to people their age and the gaps they can perceive in their education and are having to remediate (science, for one — the outside resources we used for science were weak — creation-based, Apologia-type stuff and even though in our home I presented “creation” and “evolution” as two theories with equal weight, they certainly didn’t get that in their outside classes) and left them scrambling when they reached college.

So yeah, it’s plausible to me that teachers could be favorably impressed with homeschoolers who are well enough prepared to ace their classes and have a no-nonsense attitude in class. Doesn’t cover the social (and other) deficits, of course.

Overwhelmed with their character? Probably not.

*edited because I felt the need to clarify that students who disrupted classes were in high school, not college. Knowing you’re paying for your classes makes people a lot more likely to pay attention...

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, refugee said:

Teachers can be impressed with homeschooled students’ attitudes — we’ve seen this ourselves. Our kids learned to love learning both at home and in the outside classes we did. (I had no illusions of being able to teach them everything.) In classes in high school and college, they were focused and engaged (and annoyed by time-wasting students in the local high school who acted up in class and interfered with learning/teaching). So of course their teachers are impressed by the serious, focused attention they get.

Of course, there’s also the downside of having trouble relating to people their age and the gaps they can perceive in their education and are having to remediate (science, for one — the outside resources we used for science were weak — creation-based, Apologia-type stuff and even though in our home I presented “creation” and “evolution” as two theories with equal weight, they certainly didn’t get that in their outside classes) and left them scrambling when they reached college.

So yeah, it’s plausible to me that teachers could be favorably impressed with homeschoolers who are well enough prepared to ace their classes and have a no-nonsense attitude in class. Doesn’t cover the social (and other) deficits, of course.

Overwhelmed with their character? Probably not.

*edited because I felt the need to clarify that students who disrupted classes were in high school, not college. Knowing you’re paying for your classes makes people a lot more likely to pay attention...

My own kids are PS'd all the way. They constantly complain about disruptive kids, especially in middle school. In high school, if you choose the AP classes, things seem to settle down. However, there is definitely a subset of kids (probably PS and homeschooled) who are too immature to learn or who just don't care. There are good, serious students in PS too, who mostly wish the disruptive kids would shut up.

Sometimes--not always--the disruptive ones are smart and bored. I see that with the middle school boys my daughter complains about. Some of the most disruptive have the best grades! My own daughter is a whiz at math and I'm afraid she slept (literally) through most of her math classes, which is both disruptive AND rude.

[Hisey]

4 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Neither do I.  And few artists manage to support themselves fully with their art, but a non-challenging job can support them while they try to make it.

If that is what Ashton is doing, power to him.  And there is nothing wrong with being a cleaning lady or developing a cleaning business either.  It just doesn't seem to reflect Kelly's grandiose claims for her brilliance at homeschooling .

But this is Kelly.  I haven't read her for ages and I must snark!

http://www.generationcedar.com/main/2018/01/5-ways-parents-can-learn-daniel-raise-men-women-excellence.html

Kelly decided her kids didn't "need" college because they were so special, and besides, college was a waste of money. So she'll never get to hear this sort of praise, unless it's from Ashton's manager at Chik-Fil-A. But since Ashton moved about an hour away from home, that may not happen either. 

Ashton reports on IG that he is feeling less creative and less into art. That's sad.  He seems like such a nice kid! So much nicer than Bria.

[acheronbeach]

I'm still waiting on the med school announcement for Bria's husband... the one who Kelly breathlessly described as "pre-med," despite such a degree not existing at his school.  I got the feeling Kelly was trying to show that at least her daughter had snagged a big fish, despite her cringey public ignorance.

Looks like Mr. Bria works at a cell phone shop.  It's peculiar because it looks like he has a biomedical sciences degree... ?  At least in Canada, I feel like there's quite a lot of lab jobs with ok pay and potential for advancement. 

I also feel bad for Ashton.  Years ago, FJ members basically said he had raw talent but it needed honing to make something of it.  Of course, Kelly was soooo smug about just throwing YouTube videos at him.  

[morfydd]

4 hours ago, acheronbeach said:

I'm still waiting on the med school announcement for Bria's husband... the one who Kelly breathlessly described as "pre-med," despite such a degree not existing at his school.  I got the feeling Kelly was trying to show that at least her daughter had snagged a big fish, despite her cringey public ignorance.

Looks like Mr. Bria works at a cell phone shop.  It's peculiar because it looks like he has a biomedical sciences degree... ?  At least in Canada, I feel like there's quite a lot of lab jobs with ok pay and potential for advancement. 

I went to the undergrad school for the #3 US medical school, and there was no pre-med degree.  You just looked up the med school requirements and made sure you included them as well as your major requirements.  My freshman year there was a super-outgoing guy who knew everyone who said his major was "Premed French".

I also graduated with a biomedical engineering degree and was completely untrained for lab work.  (I had intro courses for every engineering major, plus a ton of math and science, plus a ton of theoretical biomedical engineering, and crap for practical application.)  That was fun, graduating into a recession.

 

[bird]

On 06/01/2018 at 10:20 PM, Hane said:

I’m reminded of Michael Pearl, whose home-educated and corporally disciplined (aka beaten mercilessly) children were going to grow up to be all our bosses. Wherebouts are they, again?

But seriously, where is Rebekah? I worry about her more than is rational. 

[bird]

On 14/01/2018 at 3:27 PM, chaotic life said:

 That and I divorced their jerk of a father, which I am certain would make me untouchable now in Fundie circles.

I'm sorry it didn't work out. I read how hard you were fighting for your marriage. I hope it's better for you now. 

[EowynW]

15 hours ago, bird said:

But seriously, where is Rebekah? I worry about her more than is rational. 

I think about her all the time. 

 

Soshannah (so?)  seems to have turned out the most stable and interesting. She dresses pretty non fundie and runs her own business. 

One of the boys got divorced. I've always wondered why. 

[bird]

1 minute ago, EowynW said:

I think about her all the time. 

 

Soshannah (so?)  seems to have turned out the most stable and interesting. She dresses pretty non fundie and runs her own business. 

One of the boys got divorced. I've always wondered why. 

I can't help wonder. All those unassisted homebirths in the shack with no water or electricity. I felt so sorry for her defending her childhood as happy and normal. Then she seemed to go a bit crazy (the blog writing about her dreams? If I remember correctly). And now gone. 

I don't think the son was married (legally) so they have just erased that lady and the kids too. 

[smittykins]

Yeah,  I remember Monster Pearl saying his children "wouldn't be unequally yoked with sodomites."

[hoipolloi]

2 hours ago, EowynW said:

One of the boys got divorced. I've always wondered why. 

From information provided by a one-time poster here at FJ, it appears there were domestic violence issues that resulted in Gabe's ex-wife/former partner Lori getting at least partial custody of their children:

Quote

From what I can tell Lori came to Ohio in 2014 and filed a protection order after Gabe attacked her and they had a case on that and there is a custody case which I cannot get access to because it is in the juvenile court since Lori and Gabe were not married. 

From what I have heard speaking to court staff it appears that the custody case was ugly (court staff didn't sound enthused when I mentioned the Pearl name), Lori goes by her maiden name again, and I believe Gabe has limited visitation of the kids with Lori having primary custody. 

That archived thread has a lot of linked info. Since then, Gabe Pearl has "remarried," or whatever passes for that in Pearl World. Gabe Anast & Rebekah Pearl Anast are still off the grid; at last report some years ago, they were having kid #7. 

[EowynW]

I don't think it matters to many fundies about their kids "turning out" well so long as they remember their gender roles and love Jesus. 

I love my mother & I know she loves me, but to me,  she's mostly pleased that all of us are married/engaged, and still Christians. She doesn't care that none of her daughters were not/are not equipped to survive and take care of themselves financially, and that they all suffer from anxiety, mild depression, a form of learned helplessness, and a few health issues caused, I believe, by mental stress and hopelessness caused by spending most of our 20s as a SAHD in a controlled environment. No all that matters is that we love Jesus, married good men and are preparing for those damn babies. (I'm sorry, it's been a rough week for me) 

[Hisey]

23 hours ago, EowynW said:

I don't think it matters to many fundies about their kids "turning out" well so long as they remember their gender roles and love Jesus. 

I love my mother & I know she loves me, but to me,  she's mostly pleased that all of us are married/engaged, and still Christians. She doesn't care that none of her daughters were not/are not equipped to survive and take care of themselves financially, and that they all suffer from anxiety, mild depression, a form of learned helplessness, and a few health issues caused, I believe, by mental stress and hopelessness caused by spending most of our 20s as a SAHD in a controlled environment. No all that matters is that we love Jesus, married good men and are preparing for those damn babies. (I'm sorry, it's been a rough week for me) 

Don't apologize! It's normal to be angry that your parents only offer you conditional love.

In my own family, I tried to meet all the conditions my mother placed on me (husband of the correct religion, had a professional career, etc). So it seemed like she loved me, but in the end, she didn't really, because as I grew more confident I made other (small) choices she didn't approve of.  Although I still loved her and she tried to love me, inside she was deeply angry that I was my own person.

So conditional love is a tenuous thing, and I can see why you'd be dissatisfied. Everyone wants to be loved for themselves, not for how much they have complied with their parents rules. .

 

[chaotic life]

I'm sorry it didn't work out. I read how hard you were fighting for your marriage. I hope it's better for you now. 

Thank you, and no it’s not better at all. But I have hope it will be one day and I would choose this over what I endured for too long every day and twice on Sunday. My advice to others now is to never do what I did and get out immediately. But fundie religion teaches you to ignore your gut instincts and to forgive at all costs, even when the cost is you.

[bird]

7 hours ago, chaotic life said:

 

Thank you, and no it’s not better at all. But I have hope it will be one day and I would choose this over what I endured for too long every day and twice on Sunday. My advice to others now is to never do what I did and get out immediately. But fundie religion teaches you to ignore your gut instincts and to forgive at all costs, even when the cost is you.

 

I am genuinely sorry to hear that. I just cannot understand that line of teaching and I'm glad to see people rejecting it when it makes no sense. Not that the alternative is simple (as you say). 

[Howl]

On 1/18/2018 at 5:50 PM, bird said:

But seriously, where is Rebekah? I worry about her more than is rational.

I was thinking about her as well, when someone on a thread asked about how the Pearl kids were doing.  A bit of history: At some point (2011?)  Rebekah's husband Gabe Anast had decided God told him to stop working (he had a bookstore in Gallup at one time and is or was a Website designer) and devote all of his time to studying the Bible.  Last I knew, they were living way the hell off grid somewhere around Gallup, New Mexico.  The oldest son(s) might be getting old enough to bring in some $$$$ doing computer work. Rebekah has some YA books published; I don't know if that brings in any income.  Although she's a published author and been a world traveler, she's extremely hard-core patriarchal, SAHM, SAHD, submissive, quiverfull and very much like her dad.   Looks like she and Gabe have scrubbed themselves off the internet re:  7xSunday and Dreaming-Awake blogs.  I can't find anything current about them or by them. 

Interesting to see things pop up about Michael Pearl; more than a few people have critiqued his Biblical/theological beliefs and some call him outright heretical. 

[bird]

2 hours ago, Howl said:

I was thinking about her as well, when someone on a thread asked about how the Pearl kids were doing.  A bit of history: At some point (2011?)  Rebekah's husband Gabe Anast had decided God told him to stop working (he had a bookstore in Gallup at one time and is or was a Website designer) and devote all of his time to studying the Bible.  Last I knew, they were living way the hell off grid somewhere around Gallup, New Mexico.  The oldest son(s) might be getting old enough to bring in some $$$$ doing computer work. Rebekah has some YA books published; I don't know if that brings in any income.  Although she's a published author and been a world traveler, she's extremely hard-core patriarchal, SAHM, SAHD, submissive, quiverfull and very much like her dad.   Looks like she and Gabe have scrubbed themselves off the internet re:  7xSunday and Dreaming-Awake blogs.  I can't find anything current about them or by them. 

Interesting to see things pop up about Michael Pearl; more than a few people have critiqued his Biblical/theological beliefs and some call him outright heretical. 

Yes that's as far as I got with her then just nothing. There isn't even an updated photo on the no greater joy pages. And they have updated recently to scrub the non wife and her kids. 

[Howl]

16 hours ago, bird said:

And they have updated recently to scrub the non wife and her kids. 

A bit of thread drift to the Pearls, but bear with me.  The same blog that was discussing Michael Pearl as heretical also called him out as a complete hypocrite for scrubbing Gabriel Pearl's ex-wife and kids from their Web site with zero explanation.  This has certainly been noticed by people who follow the Pearls.  

[lilith]

15 hours ago, Howl said:

A bit of thread drift to the Pearls, but bear with me.  The same blog that was discussing Michael Pearl as heretical also called him out as a complete hypocrite for scrubbing Gabriel Pearl's ex-wife and kids from their Web site with zero explanation.  This has certainly been noticed by people who follow the Pearls.  

I think perhaps the ex wife made them take down the kids pictures - they still include them in the count of their grandchildren.

[socalrules]

I am not sure who these people are. Is Aston a Pearl grandkid? One thing Aston’s frustrations probably reflects is that fundy kids are raised to believe their homeschooling education makes them superior and they are better equipped than others for the adult world. I think because of their isolation, it is a shock, and depressing, to get out in the real world and realize how it’s actually the non-fundy kids who are better equipped to survive.

Let’s be realistic, fundy homeschool kids are not getting anywhere near the education of public school and regular homeschooled kids. The worst public school likely gives a much better education than the education received by the fundy kids we read about on FJ. What sucks is that a lot of the kids like Aston likely don’t know how to go about rectifiying their lack of education in order to better their future. Think about the years of school some will need to just catch up to someone with a regular GED right diploma. I say going to  trade school will still be a problem for some because some trades require a lot of reading/math/science to even be able to be licensed. I don’t even want to think about how their mindset will have to be changed in order to survive in the world. What happens if your boss is a woman or you have a male boss that doesn’t see you as superior because you are male and promotes woman over you? How do fundies in the world process such differences than how they were raised?