Chelsy and John Maxwell 2: On to the Honeymoon Somewhere Warm

[Jana814]

I don't think Teri will be a mother of the bride anytime soon. I remember when they were posting about Christopher and  NR Anna's wedding and thinking Christopher seemed very involved in the planning of the rehearsal for the wedding. Maybe because most of the weddings I have been to the brides had completely uninvolved husband's and it was odd to me to see a guy so involved. 

[MamaJunebug]

48 minutes ago, sparkles said:

when it looks like you've got the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in attendance, maybe it's time to dial it back a notch or 12.

 Ain’t ever gonna happen, because the higher the fertility rate, for sure closer to God, so we’ll continue to see bridal parties of dozens as long as the patriarchal fertility cults persist. IIRC The ill-fated Btown-BRADRICK! nuptials held the record at 25 or 30 attendants for the female. 

Ruthie is seen to crack a semi-smile (I think) upon getting fake eyeglasses for Xmas becsuse she admires the real ones Bethie (?) wears. She’s her own person, that one. 

19 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

keep thinking of Mr. Bontrager calling the reversal kids down to the stage. I think that was so rude and arrogant if it was not planned - well, it was rude even if it was planned.  I hate when people do that - put the spotlight on somebody who is not expecting it.

I wouldn’t have been able to pick Mr. B out of a crowd 30 hours ago, but after hearing about this shitshow and seeing his ugly self supporting the drunk monkey bride, I’m putting him in the elite crew of unredeemables along with Doug Philiips and Doug Wilson. Cree-pee!

[Granwych]

2 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

Well, it has a certain something that a Christopher Maxwell photo doesn't. 

Sure---clarity, good design, etc. etc.

[Elegant Mess]

45 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

This wedding seemed like an open mic night at a comedy club where they decided to toss some vows in at the end. It was a circus and I agree with an earlier comment which stated it's unbelievable that this was actually rehearsed the day before. 

This!!!!!!!

Given the Maxwell penchant for schedules and plans, this was absolutely chaotic.  Was this "style", for lack of a better word, a Bontrager thing?

 

[Black Aliss]

Apologies if someone has already made this observation, because the Maxhell topics are just too hot for me to keep up with this weekend.

In the new <extended-> family photo, Chris has his usual "don't even think of making a break for it Anna" grip on his wife's upper arm. Joseph is being even more cautious with a good grip on both of Elissa's shoulders. And Teri has a death grip on John? I'm now in the "Maxwells didn't approve this union" camp.

[elliha]

What if the vows were intentionally forgotten to rebel against Maxwell scheduling and thinking about everything? A very "nice" rebellion but quite fun if that was the case.

[Marian the Librarian]

Sarah/Steve is responding to comments on the lone wedding pic. Yes, Chelsy was barefoot, but not all the time; yes, more pictures are forthcoming; and yes, the wedding went "so well!"

As they say in the world of advertising, "let's put a little lipstick on this pig."

[nastyhobbitses]

12 minutes ago, Marian the Librarian said:

Sarah/Steve is responding to comments on the lone wedding pic. Yes, Chelsy was barefoot, but not all the time; yes, more pictures are forthcoming; and yes, the wedding went "so well!"

As they say in the world of advertising, "let's put a little lipstick on this pig."

I will be a little sad that we won't get the weirdly lit, vaguely creepy wedding photos by Chris. Just like a Dothraki wedding without at least three deaths is a dull affair, a Maxwell wedding without strange lighting in all the photos, a photo of the groomsmen jumping up in the air like the poster for Homeschool Musical, oddly focused pictures of children, and photos that make it painfully clear that the groom and bride are horny af, isn't really a Maxwell wedding. 

[Palimpsest]

27 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

In the new <extended-> family photo, Chris has his usual "don't even think of making a break for it Anna" grip on his wife's upper arm. Joseph is being even more cautious with a good grip on both of Elissa's shoulders. And Teri has a death grip on John? I'm now in the "Maxwells didn't approve this union" camp.

The "New Maxwell Family" photo, if you please.  Not a Bontrager to be seen on the Titus 2 blog, thankyouverymuch.  Methinks it is Steve's belated slap in the chops to Mr. B.

I'm sure Steve approved all the reversal talk at the wedding.  It is one of his main talking points and claims to Eternal Life, after all.  Mr. B probably had to agree to talking about Steve's scrotum as the better alternative to Steve's DEATH sermon.

Teri's death grip on John is strongly reminiscent of Mama Arndt.  The ring delivery would have been so much better if they had attached it to a stuffed penguin.  And I expect to see drone ring deliveries at eleventy Fundie weddings now.

The other Maxwell male grips of steel on their helpmeets are, sadly, quite typical.

As someone who has done a fair amount of sewing, I completely agree with @sparkles on the construction problems with Chelsy's dress.  All praises for using difficult fabric but she definitely stitched the lining and the beaded (or sequinned) lace together.  That caused the pulling at the seams and general clunkiness.  If you are lining something like that, you need to sew the lining and outer layer as separate pieces.   

I also think she may have given up on trying to dart the bodice and just gathered it to the waistband.  Sorry, but it made her bosom look bumpy.  She will now be Chesty on FJ forever, I fear.

The bridesmaid dresses may have been chosen because of all the pregnant brides-matrons, but they looked like bathrobes to me.  With nighties poking out the necklines.

And say no more about the naked tootsies.  ::shivers::  Chelsy, REAL Farm Girls always wear wellies.

[MamaJunebug]

44 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

Apologies if someone has already made this observation, because the Maxhell topics are just too hot for me to keep up with this weekend.

In the new <extended-> family photo, Chris has his usual "don't even think of making a break for it Anna" grip on his wife's upper arm. Joseph is being even more cautious with a good grip on both of Elissa's shoulders. And Teri has a death grip on John? I'm now in the "Maxwells didn't approve this union" camp.

Again, I appreciate Nate & Mel even more. No need to show ownership — they’re holding the littlest, they’re together, people will get it. 

Meanwhile, the photo of PSarah in the pink hat (gift from a niece/nephew) kills me. That woman had the best smile! She’s not untalented, and she’s so pretty! With what’s left of my cold old heart I wish she could have more of a life than Designated Caregiver for her self-obsessed parents!

[MamaJunebug]

5 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

bridesmaid dresses may have been chosen because of all the pregnant brides-matrons, but they looked like bathrobes to me.  With nighties poking out the necklines.

And say no more about the naked tootsies.  ::shivers::  Chelsy, REAL Farm Girls always wear wellies.

I heart you!!!!

My first snide thought about barefoot farm women was “manure, splinters, debris, power machinery...no.” Barefoot is great and Chesty feels best bare, just do it and don’t hand out some line about farming. 

Recently saw a photo of a wedding in which the bride’s dress as floor length but the maids’ were knee-length, sleeveless with modest v-necklines and very easily something g they could wear again with a cardi or shorty jacket. Why don’t more folks figure this out? 

Full disclosure: at my (doomed) wedding I caved and had my maids wear formals. But it was in the dark ages. Had I to do it again, it’d be unite different. 

[Palimpsest]

9 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Full disclosure: at my (doomed) wedding I caved and had my maids wear formals. But it was in the dark ages. Had I to do it again, it’d be unite different.

  I will never post my 1979 wedding photos on FJ, even if I could find the photo album and scan them.  We think it ended up in the attic the last time we moved - 14 years ago.

I planned my wedding in 3 months, just like a Fundie bride but for different reasons (no, I wasn't pregnant.)  I went shopping by myself, tried on ONE dress said, "that will do" and bought it.  My bridesmaids picked their own dresses and wanted cotton Laura Ashley granny dresses.  I said, "praise Rufus, they aren't expensive" and bought them.  (In the UK the bride and groom traditionally pick up the tab for wedding attendants' clothes.  That is why wedding parties are usually small there.) 

And if I had to do it again - I'd elope!

[usmcmom]

Does anybody else follow Arndt  Photography on Facebook?  This just popped up today.  

I know this is not an Arndt thread but this photo IS an exceptional wedding photo, in my opinion.  I don't think the Maxwell weddings will ever have such lovely pictures. The Arndts are talented. Nutty but talented. 

[Mela99]

That's gorgeous. I assume that's sparkling cider ?

[Soulhuntress]

Love that picture!  The group is having fun and it looks genuine not posed and pissy.  

[catlady]

i know very little about the Arndts, and even less about their wedding photography (i've read only one of the three threads here so far), but the samples i've seen of their work have been absolutely spectacular.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

I would hire the Arndts in a second. They are amazing.

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

I will never post my 1979 wedding photos on FJ,

I will never do so either because for starters I wore a tiara! 

[Palimpsest]

6 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

I will never do so either because for starters I wore a tiara! 

Darn it, FG.  I really want to see those photos!  

24 minutes ago, Mela99 said:

That's gorgeous. I assume that's sparkling cider ?

Not necessarily.  The Arndts get around and their wedding photos are really good.  http://arndtphotography.com/

[Jana814]

I follow the Arndt’s page. They are very good photographers. 

[Elegant Mess]

2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Teri's death grip on John is strongly reminiscent of Mama Arndt.  

I had the exact same thought.  Basically, arm instead of belly.

[sparkles]

The Arndts know what they're doing and clearly, unlike Pristopher, don't impose their personal beliefs and restrictions on their clients. 

[Jana814]

1 minute ago, sparkles said:

The Arndt's know what they're doing and clearly, unlike Pristopher, don't impose their personal beliefs and restrictions on their clients. 

I was thinking the same thing. 

[Myfanwy]

What the everlovin' hell Maxwells? Why are you always so damn dour?  You're at a wedding. Weddings are big deal in your world. You are all together, being together is THE best, according to you. There is modesty everywhere you look. So what the hell gives? Crack a freakin' smile. I don't think I am reading too much into that photo when I say it does not radiate the joy of the occasion.

[Captain Obvious]

5 hours ago, sparkles said:

So based on that photo, it looks like every single member of the extended Maxwell clan (with the exception of Steve and Teri) was part of the wedding party. Is it just me, or are these mega wedding parties more than a little ridiculous? I mean, who's left to actually attend the wedding when everyone's up on stage with the bride and groom? 

They had 500 guests so I think they had a few left over.