Jinger 34: Now with Hol(e)y Jeans and Pregnant!

[singsingsing]

25 minutes ago, Edhelfin said:

Is there a possibility that this child may be gay or transgender? Always. Will you then still be happy with the pants-wearing-so-obviously-not-that-fundie Jinger and her so called hunk husband's 'choice'? What kind of hateful environment would that poor kid be brought up in by his homophobic dad?

Bigots like Jeremy should forever stay childless. There is not ONE good reason to be happy for these idiots. Are some of you blind?

You're basically right, and you're more or less saying what multiple other people in this thread (and others) have said. I think you're getting downvoted because your post was pretty blunt, and people naturally want to celebrate baby news and talk about cute names and due dates and whatnot at times like this. But you're right. While it is possible to sit with some cognitive dissonance and be happy for them, enjoy guessing the name and the sex and so on, and hope that they'll be different, it has to be acknowledged that as it stands now, they're bringing another child into an extremely restrictive, oppressive, bigoted and hateful religious system. They may be superficially 'cute' and 'attractive' and 'fun', but they're still bigots and they will raise their child as a bigot unless something very significant changes, and that is sad.

[nastyhobbitses]

Wondering what sort of parents they'd be. 

Jinger wasn't as prominent a sister-mom as her older sisters, and I think that like Jessa, she wasn't all that into it when she had to do it. She doesn't strike me as a particularly "OMG BAYBEEEZ" type, but then again, Jessa has very pleasantly surprised me with her parenting, so maybe Jinger would be a similarly pretty good parent absent all the homophobia and cultiness. 

Jeremy I could see enjoying the "fun" parts of parenting (playing with the kid, posing for photos, etc.), but not really being down for the actual work of parenting. I don't get the vibe that he'd be abusive or even an asshole dad the way Derick is shaping up to be, but more the...dare I say it...Josh type of dad. Likes his kids, enjoys them, cares about them to some extent, but doesn't really give much of a fuck about the actual work of being a parent. Josh is a garbage human being, but what I saw of his parenting was pretty much that. A child's idea of what parenting is. Though who knows? He could be a downright awful dad, or better than Ben (who has also pleasantly surprised me by being a very involved, caring father). 

[VelociRapture]

9 minutes ago, Edhelfin said:

'Maybe'? A child's happiness and wellbeing is more important than gambling with a possibility.

Keep dreaming about the small chance that people like Jeremy can change. I have nothing else to say.

Having a loved one who is both Bi and Trans, I agree. I think it’s certainly possible that having a child who isn’t straight or cisgender could open their eyes, but I also wouldn’t bet on it by a long shot and I wouldn’t wish that upon any child born into one of these families. I think this baby may have better odds of getting a decent education or participating in extracurricular activities than some of the others might... but being fully accepted and loved by their family even if they’re gay or Trans? I don’t see that as likely at all. 

I’m not happy another kid is being born into this family, but it’s happening regardless of what I think. All I can hope is that this pregnancy goes well, the birth and recovery are easy, and the baby is born healthy and in no way identifies as anything other than straight and cis.*

*This is also what I hope for each child born into these families, not just for Baby Vuolo. 

[eveandadam]

Of all the Duggar couples I expected them the least to make an announcement. But they lived their first year of marriage without a child which is a plus! You go Jinger! And Jeremy practically admitting that they are somehow managing the size of their family is also a big plus. Jinger still is a young mum at 24 and I suspect Jeremy is aiming for the holy number of 4 children, which is a respectable amount for a pastor's family and still not  a lot a lot.

And I thought Jessa is going to be the next Duggar to announce. I'm 90% sure she will also have a baby in 2018. Jill and Anna will probably follow in 2019.

 

By 2020 there will be 20 grand-Duggars.

 

[Fjrocks]

  I will always be grateful for her having gotten over a year of couple time first.

[Caskett4ever]

While I'm never thrilled a new baby is being born into this cult, at least Jinger is older than Joy and Kendra. And who knows, maybe being farther away from Arkansas will mean the kid will live a slightly better life. I hope for a healthy pregnancy and a safe and easy delivery.

[meee]

I don't really follow the Duggars over here except right before a wedding or baby. Saw this thread was hot and yep, I knew it.

Wonder if we'll get a triple bump pic with Jinger, Kendra, and Joy. Is this the first time three have been pregnant at once since that pic of Jill, Anna, and barely-pregnant Jessa? Maybe they'll hold out for a quadruple pic if Jessa announces soon, it's a bit soon for Anna or Jill I think.

[mango_fandango]

Saw this was hot. Knew she was pregnant. Sigh. Not surprised. 

The one fundie woman I would like to see pregnant is Michael Keilen. Infertility sucks, particularly in her environment, and she’s always seemed to want kids far more than some of the other fundie women. 

[eveandadam]

2 minutes ago, meee said:

I don't really follow the Duggars over here except right before a wedding or baby. Saw this thread was hot and yep, I knew it.

Wonder if we'll get a triple bump pic with Jinger, Kendra, and Joy. Is this the first time three have been pregnant at once since that pic of Jill, Anna, and barely-pregnant Jessa? Maybe they'll hold out for a quadruple pic if Jessa announces soon, it's a bit soon for Anna or Jill I think.

Even more I predict that there will be a quadruple pic of Joy, Kendra, Jinger, and Jessa all pregnant at the same time. Jessa possibly with twins.

[meee]

2 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

The one fundie woman I would like to see pregnant is Michael Keilen. Infertility sucks, particularly in her environment, and she’s always seemed to want kids far more than some of the other fundie women. 

Agreed. I am so insanely jealous of all these crazy fertile fundie women, but it must be at least as hard for MIchael.

[DancingPhalanges]

2 hours ago, Seculardaisy said:

Me, a person who spends too much time in Disney planning groups thinking you were talking about Animal Kingdom. 

So when he made that “Sugar and Spice think about it post” they probably took this photo as a part of the series.

OT for just a moment...if you feel comfortable, could you pm me a group or two that I could read and learn? We have been but plan on going late next year (waiting for Toy Story Land), Toy Story Land and Avatar will be new to us and I will need to plan. 

[Pete Pickles]

20 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I'm definitely not going to downvote you (I mean, I personally lean toward them preventing as well), but I have to point out that Jinger being on hormonal birth control would amount to a HUGE departure from her family's ideology, much more significant than using NFP or a barrier method. If her skin cleared up, it could've been due to many different factors - better diet, different water, sex, better sleep, more frequent washing of pillow cases. Her parents literally believe that hormonal birth control killed their second child. There are a lot of fundie-lite/conservative Christians who are okay with birth control but still eschew hormonal birth control. She would have grown up hearing all about why HBC is evil and how it kills babies, kills women, renders them infertile, etc. I would be really surprised if she were on the pill. If Jeremy 'convinced' her to go on it, I can't imagine it was without a lot of guilt, fear, and shame on her part.

I’m not saying you’re wrong. You’re probably right. But here are a few things to consider:

1. It no longer matters what her parents or even what she believes about the pill. The buck stops with Jeremy. If he wanted her on HBC, she was. (That doesn’t mean he wanted her to be. I’m just saying, the headship thing trumps her parents’ beliefs.) I also think jeremy has a controlling streak about him and I wouldn’t put it past him to make a decision that she’s not totally comfortable with. (But he does seem to care about her, so I hope he would at least entertain some discussion about it.)

2. Her whole family has issues with acne, and so have I until getting on HBC. For most people, a better diet and washing the pillowcases will help, but I don’t think that’s the case with hereditary, problematic acne (versus the usual teenager/puberty stuff). As we can see in the TLC video, her acne is back along with these pregnancy hormones, so I think her flare-ups, like mine, are more hormonal than anything else. I bet now that she’s further along, she’ll get clearer again.

3. Jinger is no stranger to guilt, fear, and shame. Her speech before jessa’s wedding still breaks my heart. However, she married a pastor who may have told her that birth control isn’t capable of killing babies, only God can give and take life and His will will always be done. 

***all speculation. I don’t know any of this to be fact.

[karen77]

4 minutes ago, DancingPhalanges said:

OT for just a moment...if you feel comfortable, could you pm me a group or two that I could read and learn? We have been but plan on going late next year (waiting for Toy Story Land), Toy Story Land and Avatar will be new to us and I will need to plan. 

PM me too! DVC member here, i can offer advice! (we are going twice this year, well, once to DL and once to WDW)

[nst]

OMG jeremy is so devilish in his latest we are expecting picture. 

I mean the man needs the camera 

Jinger will have twins - calling it 

drop the mic 
DROPPED 

 

[singsingsing]

4 minutes ago, Pete Pickles said:

I’m not saying you’re wrong. You’re probably right. But here are a few things to consider:

1. It no longer matters what her parents or even what she believes about the pill. The buck stops with Jeremy. If he wanted her on HBC, she was. (That doesn’t mean he wanted her to be. I’m just saying, the headship thing trumps her parents’ beliefs.) I also think jeremy has a controlling streak about him and I wouldn’t put it past him to make a decision that she’s not totally comfortable with. (But he does seem to care about her, so I hope he would at least entertain some discussion about it.)

2. Her whole family has issues with acne, and so have I until getting on HBC. For most people, a better diet and washing the pillowcases will help, but I don’t think that’s the case with hereditary, problematic acne (versus the usual teenager/puberty stuff). As we can see in the TLC video, her acne is back along with these pregnancy hormones, so I think her flare-ups, like mine, are more hormonal than anything else. I bet now that she’s further along, she’ll get clearer again.

3. Jinger is no stranger to guilt, fear, and shame. Her speech before jessa’s wedding still breaks my heart. However, she married a pastor who may have told her that birth control isn’t capable of killing babies, only God can give and take life and His will will always be done. 

***all speculation. I don’t know any of this to be fact.

We'll obviously never know for sure unless they choose to talk about it, but you make very substantive arguments.  I have to say, I feel sorry for Jinger if Jeremy did have her go on HBC. There's an outside chance that she was fine with it or even happy about it, but I think realistically it would be a huge psychological struggle for her, even if she tried to pretend otherwise. 

[eveandadam]

45 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

Maybe having a gay or transgender child would open the eyes of homophobes and make them more accepting/loving towards those on a different path.  

 

Whoa, are you serious?! This is the worst thing that could happen to gay/trans child to be born into a family like this. If, and only if, a gay and/or trans child is ever born into a Duggar household (or into any other fundie family) you can only hope for 2 things: one, that they themselves will never know that they are gay or trans (ignorance can really be a bliss sometimes) or, two, that, if they should realize it, have some serious support from outside the cult to help them escape (financially, morally ...).

The gay and trans issue (together with the anti-abortion movement) will be one of the last things fundies will give up! I don't ever see a fundie family in the US accepting a gay child that actually lives as a gay person and not in denial!

Oh, and I hope that if (and that's a big IF) a Duggar child is gay, that they are a least a little bit bi, so they still have a little escape loop whole and still can date someone of the opposite sex.

[Candydandy]

I am happy to hear they are expecting- they had over a year to enjoy married life together. As with the arrival of any newborn, my mind does not go to the question of the baby being gay or transgender. That calls for a WTF?!?  Everyone hopes and prays  for a healthy baby. You have that plus 2 loving parents and everything is good. 

[Drala]

34 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

Maybe having a gay or transgender child would open the eyes of homophobes and make them more accepting/loving towards those on a different path.  

Garrard Conley wrote a memoir called Boy Erased about growing up gay in a fundie family.  His preacher father finally came to acceptance, but not before putting Garrard through the hell of pray-away-the-gay indoctrination camp.  Boy Erased has a lot to say about the damage done by ex-gay indoctrination regimes. 

With as  many Duggar grand-spawn as there are likely to be, I also worry that one or more of the offspring are going to be different than their parents expect. 

[louisa05]

I know several former fundies. All of whom are first generation fundies--children of people who converted as adults. 

One of my close friends was raised fundie. Homeschooled. Buy used and save the difference. Women can't lead. Women can't work. Have as many babies as possible. (She is, however only one of two biological children as her parents had fertility issues). Adopt kids to save them. Give them back if they aren't suitably saved. (Yes, her parents adopted a child then later terminated parental rights effectively "returning" him to state custody). Courtship. (She had a broken one when she was all of 16; the guy was 25). 

When I first knew her when we were teachers together in Christian school, she planned to work until her fiancee finished graduate school then be a SAHM and have 6 or more children. We once had a heated debate about same sex civil unions (we're old, this was back in the mid-90s) in which she explained to me that it would "ruin marriage for heterosexual couples". She once explained to me that women were not biologically suited to having jobs. She had been allowed to go to college only because her father believed that women should have a fall back way to earn money and that she should be prepared to homeschool her children. 

Where is she now in her early 40s? Living in Austin, Texas, because they wanted to be somewhere more liberal than the Midwest. Has only one biological child because she had HG in her pregnancy and wasn't willing to go through that again for anything. Only adopted one (and did that before trying to get pregnant). Left church entirely about 8 years ago. And, frankly, is such a far left-wing liberal that I want to choke her on occasion (yes, friend, we do still need to have due process and give those rights accorded to the accused in the Constitution to men accused of sexual assault, and no, basic rights in trial are not "another assault on women"). She has recently self-published a series of YA "steam punk fantasy" books that have sexual content. Among her recent volunteer activities? Running the PFLAG booth at Austin Pride. 

People raised in this world can change. I know many others. Honestly, the vast majority of kids I taught in Christian school that I have been in touch with (and social media means that is a lot of them) are not living according to how they were raised. I have said it here before: the most interesting thing about that is that the one who were most fervently guzzling the kool-aid as high school students are the ones farthest from it all as adults. 

 

[Pretzel]

They will never be able to make anything right. They got their first year of couple time before a pregnancy and they will have at least 4-5 more months until the baby will be born. How much 'couple time' is enough for a fundie couple until they're "allowed" to procreate? They're human beings, young, obviously in love, want to start a family. They may as well do that as they see fit. I hope for the child that they'll be loved, cared for, accepted and live a happy life. Hoping for a save pregnancy and delivery for Jinger. 

 

[HarleyQuinn]

I hope she has a hospital birth and doesn't let Jill within a 20 mile radius of Loredo during her pregnancy. 

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, Seculardaisy said:

Lol my MIL and FIL have the same (12 kids in 9 years)  and there’s only four of us kids not 19. 

 We have had 11 great nieces and nephews + 1 GD in 4 years time!

[singsingsing]

3 minutes ago, Candydandy said:

I am happy to hear they are expecting- they had over a year to enjoy married life together. As with the arrival of any newborn, my mind does not go to the question of the baby being gay or transgender. That calls for a WTF?!?  Everyone hopes and prays  for a healthy baby. You have that plus 2 loving parents and everything is good. 

As the song goes, sometimes love just ain't enough. It's not enough for a baby to be healthy and have two loving parents if their two loving parents are ignorant, homophobic bigots who will subject said child to shame, harsh punishment, and attempted reconditioning if they deviate from their very rigid expectations re: gender and sexual orientation. Of course a baby being gay or transgender isn't the first thing you think of with the arrival of a newborn, but unfortunately it's a very real and troubling issue in this situation. Statistically, some of these next generation Duggars will be LGBTQ+ and unless a miracle occurs, it is going to be hellish for them, and that's tragic and wrong.

[mango_fandango]

I wouldn’t wish any child born into this cult to be gay/bi/trans/whatever. Kids get enough crap in this cult. Even kids who live in liberal families can find being gay/bi/trans tough. It’d be absolute hell in a fundie family. It wouldn’t open the parents’ eyes at all. 

[seraaa]

1 hour ago, December said:

Yeah, the religious stuff aside, they seem to be in a more typical situation for starting a family than many of the other Duggars. They look very happy in that picture. I hope everything goes well for them, especially if they're going to go the home-birth route like the other sisters.

They're a married couple in their mid-20s with their own house. This seems like the logical next move for them, tbh.