Dillards 48: Proselytising Prick Preaching to People

[Feministe9000]

32 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I think the fact that Chad and Zach both have real jobs and seem to work hard to support their families instead of gallivanting all over the place indulging in stupid and extremely expensive pet vanity projects, eschewing actual work, and constantly begging strangers on the internet for money, all the while insulting and picking fights with people on social media, probably has a lot to do with it.

You bridged the comparison flawlessly, thank you!!! 

I know they all think they’re Christians so that means they’ll be hated by the world and it doesn’t matter though cause they believe and so on, but man, as long as guys like Zach and chad keep their mouths shut and don’t do umm all of the above that Derick does, i’m happy! 

As their wives, no matter what you’re mind is trying to convince yourself of,  (godly husband, he’s my leader, praise to him 24 fucking 7) who would you have the more true, authentic, from the heart, respect for? The men who work hard, serve their community and you and the kids? Or the man who does all of what was mentioned above, Iike derick?  Once you take all the bullshit you that you think you’re supposed  to see. 

I think we all know the answer. If I had to choose, I certainly wouldn’t want to be in Jill’s shoes. 

[Georgiana]

I also think Chad and Zach enjoy their families more.  I think they really LIKE to do extra things for their families, and you can tell.  They revel in it.  Their beliefs are rotten to the core, but they do seem to be truly happy at home and invested in their families.  Chad certainly tends to show his best self when serving Erin and his kids, so of course he's going to put as much time into that as possible.  It's human nature to gravitate towards things we are good at and believe make us our "best".  

But even at the beginning, I never got the quite same vibe from Derick...and especially not now.  He does NOT seem to truly enjoy being a father.  Sometimes he sounds like he resents his kids.  Sometimes, he seems like he resents Jill.  I don't think he likes to do things for his family any more then I like paying my mortgage, but we both do it because we made commitments and now we have to. He struggles, I think, to be a good husband and father in the patriarchal mold.  It often shows his weaknesses.  He's just not cut out for this brand of family life.  

So when Derick does "nice" things, it often comes off as him going through the motions.  Like there is a quota of nice things he thinks he has to do monthly, and he checks off those boxes so he can call himself a "good husband" while he spends his energy elsewhere.  Token gestures to fulfill a social obligation.  Like being a husband and father is a bit of a chore for him.  I think his gestures often seem basic or half-assed because he's really just trying to put as little work in as possible while still filling his quota and getting his "chores" over with. 

It's the difference between how you handle something that fulfills you and something that drains you.  I will spend HOURS planning out and hanging pictures because I love doing design related things.  I wont cut corners...in fact, I will often get creative because I don't mind spending extra time on the project.  And that's what Chad and Zach often give their families: EXTRA time, EXTRA thought, and EXTRA creativity because caring for their families fulfills them.  And that extra is what makes their actions seem so sweet. 

But dishes?  I'm going to do those in the most basic way possible because I HATE washing dishes, so I don't want to spend any more time and thought on that than I have to.  And that I think his where Derick is: he doesn't enjoy the family aspect of his life as defined by this lifestyle, so he invests as little into it as is socially acceptable.  I personally think he is more concerned with being SEEN as a decent husband and father than actually being one.  

[adidas]

Giving your wife a foot rub doesn’t make someone a good husband. 

I use the money I earn from my job to go to the spa to get foot rubs, pedicures or massages. That money is earned from a career my husband supports me 100% in and has pushed me, consoled me and backed me when times were tough. The career he told me I could do, even when I thought I couldn’t. The career he helped me pursue even though he knew it meant I would earn more than him, but he didn’t care because he is secure enough in who he is to not be threatened by it. The career which kept us poor while he flogged himself at work and I went to university while our children were little and I had no money for spa trips, but that didn’t matter because if he offered me a foot rub I gave him one back. The career that now keeps me away from my family at times, but it doesn’t matter because he is perfectly capable of running the house and parenting when I’m not around.

And when I get home my husband and I spend time together talking, planning and working as equals for our future.

Love, support, respect, hard work and equality make the best husband ever, and I feel sad that Jill will never know how it feels to have a husband who gives all of those things. 

[Rachel333]

Adapted from The Social Network:

[Beermeet]

4 hours ago, eveandadam said:

Isn't Derick always rubbing her feet when she is pregnant? Hm, I wonder how many grand-Duggars will be born in 2018.

Ew!  I had a horrible thought.  Seeing as he paints her toes too. Foot Fetish.  I mean, who knows but, lots of foot action and it popped into my head, so, you have to be grossed out with me, cause we're tight like that, LOL.

 Ew. 

[nst]

Off in Whistler for days and come home to discover that Derick is becoming a massage therapist....or is he trying to prove to us that he still is in love with Jill with that creepy smile....with the weird light in the background...so not impressed. 

and for the blowout  - show us something else Jill - oh wait we don't care CAUSE YOU are no longer  on The SHOW

 

8 hours ago, Mela99 said:

But if Jill does not instagram it, DID IT REALLY HAPPEN? 

I think it did - I saw it happen - 

[SapphireSlytherin]

OK yall.

Dwreck has sprinkled enough breadcrumbs that anyone would be able to:

1.  Find out where they're living

2.  Understand that a "lease" isn't a "thing" with his "residential" ministry

 

I easily found out where they're living. It's not rocket surgery.  I hate that he puts soooo much info "out there."

Inquisitr - go the fuck away.

[artdecades]

I know this has been discussed to death but wow Jill is just so bad at social media. I was looking at Jessa's Christmas photos on IG and she has a pic of Israel and Spurgeon with their toys and it is so darn cute. They are adorable little cousins playing and laughing together.

Compare that to Jill's photos of Israel, where we only see him when he is either doing something wrong (messing with the laundry, getting stuff in his hair, whatever) or that bored out of his mind video of Dullard reading the bible to him.

Who would have known that Izzy is a cute happy kiddo based on Jill's photos.

[Lizzybet]

6 hours ago, Edhelfin said:

Dna definitely had more sense of humour and work ethic. Although his Instagram and fetish stories about urine soaked diapers make me uneasy.

Okay, I’ll bite. Who’s Dna? Please.

[SapphireSlytherin]

2 minutes ago, Lizzybet said:

Okay, I’ll bite. Who’s Dna? Please.

I think it’s a typo and should be Dan. 

[Lizzybet]

1 minute ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I think it’s a typo and should be Dan. 

Dan, Derrick’s brother? Sorry, I’m still confused.

But, thank you!

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

10 minutes ago, Lizzybet said:

Okay, I’ll bite. Who’s Dna? Please.

Emily and Dan were before my time, but I believe she had a blog about living very frugally with a large family. Her husband Dan was/is dyslexic and even had trouble spelling his own name, hence Dna. There's also a story about Emily making cheese and being too cheap to buy cheesecloth. She used an old skirt instead, leading to the FJ term "skirt cheese". She also invented "gloodes", I believe. If I find a thread, I'll post a link.

4 minutes ago, Lizzybet said:

Dan, Derrick’s brother? Sorry, I’m still confused.

But, thank you!

No, not Dan Dillard. Totally unrelated family.

ETA--Okay, here's a link to their section of the archives:

http://www.freejinger.org/forum/256-emily-and-dna-under-1000/

 

[grandmadugger]

1 hour ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

OK yall.

Dwreck has sprinkled enough breadcrumbs that anyone would be able to:

1.  Find out where they're living

2.  Understand that a "lease" isn't a "thing" with his "residential" ministry

 

I easily found out where they're living. It's not rocket surgery.  I hate that he puts soooo much info "out there."

Inquisitr - go the fuck away.

So who owns the house that they are living in? 

[samurai_sarah]

1 hour ago, Lizzybet said:

Okay, I’ll bite. Who’s Dna? Please.

Here's the old, original blog: http://under1000permonth.blogspot.de/

The pictures are gone, but if you dig deep into FJ's archives, you'll find some.

Emily was famous for  Dna, "skirt cheese", stacking children in unsafe spaces, Brad, crock-pot everything, soap nuts, lacto-fermented salsa and just generally being a mess. I think her intentions were good, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Explanations spoilered, ' cause long

Spoiler

 

Dna refers to Emily's husband Dan. He is possibly dyslexic, having spelled his own name "Dna". While Emily blogged, he was working in Walmart and studying to be a fundie preacher. Unlike his wife, he seemed to have a sense of humour and self-deprication. 

"Skirt cheese"- Emily decided that it was cheaper to make her own cheese. She used an old dress of hers as cheesecloth.

Stacking children- At one point, Emily started a contest on her website to see how many children she could house in her two-bedroom apartment. It was rather...innovative. And a fire-hazard.

Crock-pot: Emily believed that one could make anything at all in that.

Soap-nuts: They didn't own a washing machine. And Emily decided to use organic soap nuts for everything. They had a Wonderwash for the entire family.

Brad: A stuffed toy dispensed from the bathroom ceiling. Don't ask me why. I have no idea. But then, they also dispensed a reading lamp over the bath-tub.

Lacto-fermented salsa: At one point or another, Emily decided that lacto-fermenting stuff was the way forward. When one of her kids got seriously ill, she and Dna stayed at a Ronald McDonald house, and she complained about the diet there lacking lacto-fermented foods.

I could go on, but suppose that you get the idea. If you want to dive into the rabbit hole: http://www.freejinger.org/forum/256-emily-and-dna-under-1000/

To be fair, as far as I know, Emily and Dna have long let go of most of this! So, all the info provided reflects their past, not their present.

 

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@samurai_sarah, was Emily the one who named her kefir? Or am I mixing up people?

[Lizzybet]

24 minutes ago, samurai_sarah said:

Here's the old, original blog: http://under1000permonth.blogspot.de/

 

Explanations spoilered, ' cause long

  Hide contents

 

 

Thank you. I started reading, but I can’t even keep up with posts that are current. I don’t know HOW you guys do it and keep things straight.

I saved the link for some long, dark winter night- like this one, but my bed is calling me.

 

[samurai_sarah]

2 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

@samurai_sarah, was Emily the one who named her kefir? Or am I mixing up people?

How could I forget that? She did name the kefir! Can't recall what it was called for the life of me, though. Therese?

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@samurai_sarah, I usually name my pets, my houseplants, and my cars, but I've never been tempted to name a bread starter or my daily cup of yogurt! 

[TuringMachine]

My theory on the blowout picture: Jill is thinking that people love it when mommy bloggers show the reality of parenting, and is trying to mimic that. Unfortunately, she missed the part where like 98% of their stuff is cute and/or staged pics, and the reality pics are just sprinkled in from time to time to make them relatable. Jill's instagram, meanwhile, is like 50% questionable parenting choices / kids in distress and or unsafe looking situations, 30% her futilely trying to make her husband look human, 15% preaching, and about 5% cute pictures. 

[adidas]

@samurai_sarah you’re right - the kefir was named Therese. 

[Edhelfin]

2 hours ago, Lizzybet said:

Okay, I’ll bite. Who’s Dna? Please.

Here are the Emily and Dna threads:

http://www.freejinger.org/forum/256-emily-and-dna-under-1000/

The thread titled 'Dna on a writing blog?' traumatized me deeply.

[nastyhobbitses]

9 hours ago, nickelodeon said:

My conviction that Derick is a member of the Quentin Tarantino School Of Foot Fixation grows each day.

I have money on Mike Pence having either an extremely fucked up, go-to-jail-forever fetish or a fetish that's completely harmless but just really weird, but I'd also put money on Derick being into some weird shit (not that a foot fetish is all that weird). 

[Pete Pickles]

As far as 2017 being a great year for Derick, a Christian would probably not say he had a miserable year.  He has to keep sweet and play content just as much as the Duggar kids do.  If he did say "2017 wasn't great for my family but we're trusting the Lord and moving forward into 2018 with excitement," he'd be a POS for not saying having a new baby was the BEST THING EVER!!!!11!!!!!!  He can't win because he's a hated public persona.  If I were Derick, I'd get the hell off Twitter.  I'm not defending him and he deserves the snark.  Just playing Devil's Advocate because understand being a known Christian and feeling like you can't really complain or be negative.  I served as an adult leader for teens in my church for a long time and didn't like the idea that my students and their parents could possibly see anything other than Christ oozing from my social media.  (Can someone remind Derick though that he's no longer a D-list celebrity and can resume being a normal person?  Arguing online doesn't honor Christ either but he does a lot of that.)

The foot rub grossed me out but I hate feet.  The poop pic also grossed me out so maybe I hate poop as well.  (Teehee) As a parent, I try hard not to let my social media activity embarrass them at all.  They're only 2 and Samuel obviously is an infant, but Jill is showing hundreds of thousands of people his poopy mishap.  Not nice, in my opinion.  I second the notion that she's going for Jessa's "we ain't perfect but we're cute!" approach and it does not work for Jill.  She's not doing it right at all.

Sorry to say, Zach Bates is a catch.  I think he's handsome (even when he was chubbier), he has a respectable job and allows the same of his wife, he definitely seems like a family man, I don't see him having more kids than he can handle or afford, I think there's a strong chance his kids won't be homeschooled, I'm not sure he and Whitney are in the cult at all at this point, and I appreciate his corny sense of humor.  (I also appreciate Jim Bob's corny jokes and Derick's "I wasn't finished asking the question" seemed like a joke to me, and I thought it was funny...don't shoot me!)  I see not one redeeming husband quality about Derick.  Hopefully he and Jill really "get" each other on some very deep level that we don't see.  It seems like a miserable existence to share an obligation to have eleventy kids and a crappy "ministry" with someone but nothing else.

[HarleyQuinn]

Emily and Dna is a fascinating rabbit hole. And mind you- that sick kid of hers that ended up in the Ronald McDonald house fell into a coma without her noticing, she thought he was just napping iirc.

Someone up thread made a comparison between Jill's "best hubby" posts and the Bates'. That's interesting to me. Erin Paine I always think tries to curate her IG into showing everyone she has this perfect life, but with her Chad worship posts, I do get the feeling that she 100% believes everything she's writing. Jill, I do not get that vibe from. She's trying to convince herself and everyone around her. Even her posts on Jinger's social media seem a bit desperate, like she wants to recreate what they have. 

[Desertrose]

Derick is a douche. Jill comes across on her IG on this wonderful life, but something is off.  It all seems staged. I thought it was odd that while she was pregnant they took off to CA. Then we're asking for money to fund their "mission".  Then let's fast forward. He bullies a LGBT youth, gets fired. Releases a statement he wasn't fired and his wife won't be returning to the show. Hope they saved some of Jill's pay checks/book money.Their latest escapade of inviting Muslim students over. I doubt these people knew what they were in for. Derick has a Quran? Yippy skippy. Has he read it? He is all or nothing for the Bible. 

Wonder if Jill knew what a prenuptial agreement was/is.

you know damn well one wasn't signed. Derick is nothing/has nothing without her. I pray they don't have anymore kids..