Counting on Season 4- Part 4: Duggar Time or Watching Paint Dry

[Buzzard]

On 2/25/2018 at 8:33 AM, nst said:

i just saw on my pvr that Counting is 2 hours on Monday 

Buzzard - do I need to send you to Whistler to thank you for recapping

 

I can only do the first hour.... I'll have to bow out around 9:55.  Anyone want to pick up the second half (or do the whole thing)?

Its online early, so I'm going to start the recap now.  It actually appears to be 2 episodes.

1 - "Love in Switzerland"

2 - The vuolos buy a house

 

 

[Buzzard]

Except I cant sign into the TLC app...

[Kelsey]

Will the recaps be in this thread or somewhere else?

[Buzzard]

I will do the first hour here.  I wanted to get a jump on it but directv sucks and wont let me into the app early.

Never mind.  I'm in.  Starting recap now

[Buzzard]

Episode 1 - Part 1 Love in switzerland.

We're reminded that Joy and Austin's house is a shithole. Flashback to the wedding and face sucking.... JD/Kendra jumping into the spotlight.

This season Joe and Kendra will take pictures.  Jeremy gets his own office and its "like a girl setting up a nursery."  Joy has a sex reveal for the baby that was born Saturday.  Its a boy.... JD and Kenra get married (again).

We begin with joy getting married "a few days earlier."  Joy was "shocked" that they were Mr. and Mrs.  Austin thinks the whole thing was "pretty amazing."  The fact that so many people came and celebrated with them was important.  

Jeremy - it was a sigh of relief when they were married.  They immediately started seeing different dimensions of eachother.

Jill says that married life is amazing and its great that now they dont have to work out chaperone logistics.

Joy - we had never been alone together and it was amazing being by themselves.  

 

At the "honeymoon suite"  they read their bibles.  Austin reads, Joy sits there.  They make sure they have passports and they will do skiing and hiking.  He thinks he will be an adventurous skiier.  Joy doesnt want to get hurt.  They head to the airport - ark - london - geneva.  She still cant believe she's married.  They pull up curbside and leave the car, clearly someone else was driving.

Joy - it will be weird not having someone to watch.  They kiss on the escalator.  Austin chows down on a pretzel.  They appear to be in first class, coach to heathrow.   No idea in switzerland.  They flew for 24 hours.  She's tired but happy to be there.

In Geneva they skip whatever happened at just show up for lunch, they found a fondue restaurant and "decide to try it out."  Austin is shocked that they're in french.  In other parts of the country they speak swiss with a german dialect.  Luckily they have an english menu.  They order cheese and meat fondue and water.  They didnt quite understand "water with gas" she says "what did we get" and he has to explain its "bubbling water."  Joy doesnt know what fondue is.  They look at other people and discuss that it must be swiss cheese.  Ausin isnt sure.  

They are given bread.  Austin says "I know we like that."  Joy talks about how she likes plain food, and only ketchup on burgers.  They're excited that they dont have chaperones.  Austin is wearing a "texas" shirt... cuz its important to stick out.

They get a lesson on how to eat fondue.  Austin says it had an "after twang" to it.  They bring meat to dip in the cheese.  Austin is surprised its hot.  

The band starts yodeling. Joy wants him to video it.  she thoughtit was "smooth and peaceful" compared to country yodeling.  They try and get Joy to yodel.  She says she has a friend and she practiced for a few years yet is convinced to yet up and try.

Random duggar THs yodel back at home on the couch.

Joy sings back what the guy sings to her and actually does a decent job singing back the music.  Everyone claps.  She goes back to eating.

[nst]

22 minutes ago, Kelsey said:

 

this means I can watch ER  

Thanks Buzzard 

[SapphireSlytherin]

Thank you, @Buzzard for sparing me the horrors of watching this.

[Buzzard]

Episode 1 - part 2 - Trying to stick out as much as possible

Back in arkansas Joe reminds us that he proposed at the reception.  Flashback to the entire damn thing we've seen eleventy billion times.

Now they're at "shiloh museaum" to take pictures with someone who ISNT jinger.  Apparently it "didnt work out" so Elizabeth Shumaker is doing it.  This heathen woman is wearing jeans and a t shirt. 

Lauren, Kendra's sister, is the chaperone.  Kendra needs more chaperones because the desires are stronger.  They repeatedly ask for what they're comfortable doing while taking the pictures.  Hands on her waist is too close to the line.

Jessa - it was really hard.  We wanted to kiss.

Kendra giggles like a 5 year old.

Joe reminds us of their "one hug" rule.

Jessa - you need the pictures so you can send out the invitations.

Jana - it will be close from joy's wedding to Joe and Kendra.

JInger - 3 weddings in a year!

Joe - we're doing a lot of wedding planning.  Its really for a girl.  I want it to be how she wanted it to be.

Kendra - the hardest thing is what you want, not what someone suggested.

Jessa - we didnt have to investigate her ass because we already knew her and was like s ister.

Producer - who's next?

J'kids name boys... no one says Jana.  Josiah says "me."

Joe - I look foward to spending my life with kendra and she will make a great wife.

 

Switzerland

Interlaken.

Austin thinks its a "neat little town."  They wander around and are going to take a chocolate making class.  It is not a private lesson, shockingly.  The other people are not blurred out.

They fill the piping mold

We're reminded of Jinger and Jeremy's "shrimp on teh barbie" and Jessa and Ben's pasta class.  Flashbacks eat time...

The other people in the class give advice, including "have many kids."  Joy wants "as many as god thinks we can handle."  Joy is asked to name her siblings.  Cousin Oliver is not named.

They fill molds from the piping bag.  Austin licks chocolate from his apron. Joy writes "love" on hers.  She then puts chocolate on his face.  They wander for an hour and come back to pick up their products.  They walk out of the store and eat it.  Apparently its good.

[veron1que]

Really sad that Jill explains that one of the highlights of married life is to not have the logistics of chaperones.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

2 minutes ago, veron1que said:

Really sad that Jill explains that one of the highlights of married life is to not have the logistics of chaperones.

With a husband like Derick, there's not much to look forward to.

Speaking of which, didn't he say 'he pulled his family off of the show'?  So why is Jill there? Not sure why I'm surprised...lol.

[Buzzard]

Episode 1, part 3 - jumping off mountains and smashing balls

Interlaken... cows... they head off to hanglide.  The people who run the company, atleast the driver, sounds american.  Joy says she trusts the guys, not so much the hang glider. 

Austin reminds us that he is a pilot but this is different (duh), theres no engine.  They set up the glider, calling it a "flying tent."  Austin likes "aviation stuff."  He felt better that he can check it out.

Joy and austin suck face... joy says "its better to die together."  austin says "this is going to be fun.  They hook them up with gear. They kiss and say they love eachother.  Austin takes off with a guide.  Joy is up next (and appears to be wearing pants and actual shoes).   THey glide.  Austin is taught to fly.   They float around, no references to Jesus.  Joy likes that you can see everything, unlike being in a plane. They yell back and forth together as they fly.

Austin - when youre at 2k feet you dont think you're going that fast but landing you really feel it.  Austin liked it.  Joy thought it was "great."  They kiss and say it was a "blast."  Hes so glad the first time doing this was in switzerland because of the views.  Joy thinks its "one of the coolest" things she's ever done.
 

Laredo.

Jeremy and JInger go to play tennis.  Exercise and sports is important to them.  Jeremy thinks its fun and they can enjoy it together. Jeremy brings the balls.

Jinger has only played once or twice. 

They stretch - jeremy looks ridiculous. We're reminded that jeremy used to be an "athlete."  Jeremy explains how scoring works in tennis. Jinger serves overhead - I call bullshit that she hasnt played before.

Jinger explains that she's never done "organized sports."

Jeremy says that jinger is competative.

J'kids TH - we're all competitive. 

Producer - what seed are you in the family

None ofthe kids get it.  Jessa thinks she's a watermelon.  Jana 2, Jinger 6.  Jed "the seed of Jim bob and michelle" - PUKE

Back to tennis - 

JInger - I did terrible.  Jeremy is super competative. He does it with all of his mind.

Jeremy - we agree that tennis is going to be our thing.

[Mlissmartin]

1 minute ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

With a husband like Derick, there's not much to look forward to.

Speaking of which, didn't he say 'he pulled his family off of the show'?  So why is Jill there? Not sure why I'm surprised...lol.

My guess is that that happened mid season of taping?

[veron1que]

Just now, Snarkasarus Rex said:

With a husband like Derick, there's not much to look forward to.

Speaking of which, didn't he say 'he pulled his family off of the show'?  So why is Jill there? Not sure why I'm surprised...lol.

You are right! I didn't even think about that. She was in a solo talking head.

 

Unrelated but, I have to wonder if Joy thought she was drinking some sort of alcohol (as opposed to sparkling water). She seemed genuinely concerned.

[Kelsey]

10 minutes ago, veron1que said:

Really sad that Jill explains that one of the highlights of married life is to not have the logistics of chaperones.

Especially after four years of marriage. With all the times she's been asked that question, it's always the same answer. Nothing has changed since Jessa's wedding (which I think was the first time Jill was asked the question). I can't believe that I'd give the same answer a few months after marriage and then also after four years of marriage.

[Dandruff]

6 minutes ago, veron1que said:

Unrelated but, I have to wonder if Joy thought she was drinking some sort of alcohol (as opposed to sparkling water). She seemed genuinely concerned.

Maybe it was tonic water?

[Buzzard]

Episode 1, part 4 - of course, no episode is complete with out being reminded that they have sex

Interlaken

They arrive at the train station.  Now its time to go to ski.  Austin selects "german" as the language.  THey back up the line.  Joy thinks its funny that people are getting angry behind them so they select "english".  They get on the train and are surprised that its all 'green" as they drive past - "where are we going to ski?"  Maybe they ski on rocks?  Joy keeps asking him to kiss her.  He does.

They arrive and head to a taxi.  They have electric cars.  Austin still doesnt understand where he will ski because its 80 out.

They are taken to their room, the bed has roses on it and a view of matterhorn.  They point that he will ski on the glacier. Austin jokes he'll go in a tank top.

The next day....

Joy and austin head to a taxi (wearing t shirts) to the gondola.  They then get on another gondola... austin is excited because there is enough snow to ski on.  He tightens her boots and she complains they're to tight. Austin hasnt skied for 16 years.  He explected an instructor to just show up, that didnt happen.  They get on the lift.  He thinks that others have done it and not died so they can do it.  They snuggle on the lift.At the top they ski off and dont fall... off they go.  Austin falls (7 times he says).  Joy uses her poles like a 4 year old.  THey crash. Joy thinks they're steep (um, they're not).  They think they should have watched a youtube video about how to ski.  They say they should have asked someone for tips.

Joy takes her boots off and walks around barefoot (no socks)... 

Back at the hotel they load up to leave.  I'm wondering if they only had 3 shirts.  She's ready to get home and start their life.  Austin is ready to finish the house and get established.

[pamplemousse]

@Buzzard Thanks for recapping...you are a stronger person than I, taking one for the team like that!

[Buzzard]

Episode 2, part 1. 

We're reminded that J'austin went to switzerland, ate chocolate, and made fools out of themselves abroad. Joe and Kendra are horny as fuck, and Jeremy and Jinger smack balls.

Laredo

JinJer bought a house and the J'kids are coming to help them move.  They speak to a painter in spanish. Jeremy explains they were just "casually" looking around and found this 4 bed/2 bath house.  They need to tell the painter the colors for the other rooms so they get an app and translate.  Jinger seems to know more spanish than Jeremy.

Apparently JinJer have put the spanish lessons on hold because their teacher took a "break." Jeremy tries to explain that he needs built in shelves.

Jeremy explains that last time his books ended up in the closet but now he has an office.  Flashback to Jessa moving shit in the closet.

Jessa TH - everyone talks about me putting the books in the closet.  I guess it was bad.

Jeremy explains that he has a lot of books, hundreds.  

Jessa TH - I think jeremy is most happy about having a place for his books.

JinJer leave

Arkansas

Joy makes eggs and sausage for breakfast.  Austin wants to eat 4 eggs.  They're living in the trailer becasue the house isnt ready.

Flashback to the last fucking episode, LITERALLY a half hour ago, yes... they liked skiing and hang gliding.  Joy was sore.  Austin liked navigating together. I'm pretty sure my 1 year old could handle travel better.

Joy - austin cant sleep if I touch him.  We cuddle before then sleep apart.

They discuss how they are "camping" as she scrambles eggs.

We're reminded that they still havent finished their house so they live in an RV.  they like camping, but he wants to live in the house. They've been living out of suitcases because they cant shower in the RV.  He wants a home and to "feel like he's a good provider."  They still think the house will take 2 months, but wiring, painting, tile etc will take "forever."  Joy hopes 4 months.

[veron1que]

I am super jealous of the hang gliding, that was quite cool. It was also nice to see one of these fundie couples embrace the adventure.

[JMO]

Joy making a point of saying that they will accept all the kids that the Lord gives them because " he won't give us more than we can handle ". Keep telling yourself that girl. 5 yrs and 4 kids from now when everyone is sick and the baby is up crying all night and then Austin wants you to meet his special needs you can go cry in the laundry room. With the 3 yr old peeing in the clean laundry and the toddler crying for a drink. 

[Pandora Spocks]

I highly recommend that anyone watching and playing the Duggar drinking game add the word "surreal" to the list. You will be drunk 10 minutes in and not have to suffer the rest of the episode. 

[Buzzard]

Episode 2, part 2 - WHERE THE FUCK IS RUFUS? I'm serious.  I DEMAND TO SEE RUFUS

Laredo - 

They load up stuff from the apartment.  Jinger's siblings are packing stuff up, jinger is carrying Henry and spurge is there, of course.  Laura Demacy and Jennifer Hartono are also there.  Jeremy has to go to church.  I think they are all drinking starbucks.  Jeremy says its a perk to marry a girl with "18 siblings who love us and want to help us."  Um, jinger makes 19... so who hates them??? 

RUFUS is moved!

Jana and Jessa dont have plans yet because they havent seen it.  Jessa and Jana question who is the bigger "decorating queen."

At the new house they are shown the paint colors.  Everyone loves it.  They hate the kitchen, specifically the cabinets.  JInger wants a backsplash.  Jessa thinks the wood is too dark and they should paint the cabinets.  

JInger is wearing a polo shirt with the top buttons open... not "cleavage" but risque for a duggar.

JD - theres a lot of discussions and a lot of people going on at once.  They all talk over eachother. 

There are a fuck ton of dishes in the sink, yet they havent moved in... and jinger is carrying her purse around.  WTF?

Jessa shows them pictures of other houses on her phone.  Everyone pressures them about the kitchen.  Now they want to paint the cabinets white.

"Caldwell home"

Kendra and Joe side hug. She giggles.  The wedding is in 3 months.  They're going to play disk golf.  The land is built where his family's old house used to be.

They have "make today ridiculously amazing" written on a blackboard in the kitchen and a "happy birthday" banner over the windows.

Joe thinks its special to spend time with the family.  We're reminded of how they know the caldwells.

Daddy explains the rules.  Kendra giggles, she's wearing a shirt that says "love."

Joe explains the rules again and how there is a "pole hole" instead of a hole.

Producer - what is a tee pad

Duggars give stupid answers.

The caldwells start playing. Lots of high fiveing.

Apparently "daddy" is a frisbee rockstar.  Kendra is the "least best" when it came to older kids.

Yawn... 

The concrete is where the Duggar house used to stand, and where they started their courtship.  Flashback... 

Joe likes that they can say "I love you" instead of "I like you" and hold hands.

Holy crap theyre still showing this frisbee golf crap.... this is like 10 minutes.  I just cant... Do they play tic tac toe too, this is just as boring.

J'austin talk about how its important to have a good relationship iwth inlaws.  Ben calls them mom and pops.  

Joe - Kendra's siblings view me as an older brother.  They're amazing people.

 

[pamplemousse]

8 minutes ago, Pandora Spocks said:

I highly recommend that anyone watching and playing the Duggar drinking game add the word "surreal" to the list. You will be drunk 10 minutes in and not have to suffer the rest of the episode. 

Darn it! That's what I forgot to do -- remember to play the Duggar drinking game.  I'd probably be blissfully out of it by now!

[lale2904]

Am I the only one who died when Jed(?) responded to the "seed" question with "the seed of Jim Bob and Michelle?" 

Also Jinger in that tennis outfit. I'm actually shocked they put that on the show. 

[Buzzard]

Episode 2, part 3 - Rufus finds a new home - and I demand to see it

At JinJer's apartment its day 2 of packing.  Jeremy asks them to treat the books like a child.  The books are the baby. Today they want to move things to the house and tomorrow lay it out.

Jeremy - I asked if she would miss the apartment.  We're both more excited to have our own place.

Jinger - It was a sweet time but I'm excited to have our own place and put our own touches without asking anyone else.

Jeremy - we need to make sure the painters are done, get stuff into the rooms and once they're done we can design.

Jana - its hard to move things while they're still painting. You have to keep things in the middle.

The painters are still painting the doors and cabinets white.

Jessa - jeremy is very excited about having an office, its like a girl seting up a nursery.

Day 3

The kitchen is white and now theres a back splash.  Jana and Laura did it. (so, who is laura dating?)  They stayed late and Jason and Jana ent to the store and they did it without the camera crew.

Jessa commands that they start decorating.  Shower rods are hung (BEWARE JILL).  flowers are placed on the table.  A stove is installed.  They frame the mirror in the bathroom. ... spices are lined in the kitchen.

WHERE IS RUFUS???

JInger thought the kitchen was a "dream."

We see before and after pictures.  They dont know if the guest room will be a nursery or a guest room.