Maxwell 16: At least one Maxwell got fed for Thanksgiving...

[sableduck]

22 minutes ago, formerhsfundie said:

What if he is fasting due to doubts Stevehova is planting in his head, questioning his upcoming marriage? He might be engaging in excessive prayer and fasting... I hope not, but what if? :/

I think that under the surface, there is an awful lot of stress in the Maxwell household.  They’ve made it clear Chelsy isn’t their choice and they don’t like how she does things.  For her part, I think she’s playing along until they get married, and then doing things her way.  The Bontragers, and their extended family, love fun. They love life. They love hanging out even with cousins who don’t live or believe as they do(the cousin Chelsy calls her BFF and is in the wedding has a brother who has shed his fundie roots and married a woman who already had a child out of wedlock.  The whole clan joyously attended the wedding, which was at a winery).  They love to cook and eat.  They’re not schedule people.  Do i disagree with many of their beliefs? Sure, it that holds true for much of the population.    They love life, and I cannot fathom Chelsy giving that up.

[formerhsfundie]

55 minutes ago, sableduck said:

I think that under the surface, there is an awful lot of stress in the Maxwell household.  They’ve made it clear Chelsy isn’t their choice and they don’t like how she does things.  For her part, I think she’s playing along until they get married, and then doing things her way.  The Bontragers, and their extended family, love fun. They love life. They love hanging out even with cousins who don’t live or believe as they do(the cousin Chelsy calls her BFF and is in the wedding has a brother who has shed his fundie roots and married a woman who already had a child out of wedlock.  The whole clan joyously attended the wedding, which was at a winery).  They love to cook and eat.  They’re not schedule people.  Do i disagree with many of their beliefs? Sure, it that holds true for much of the population.    They love life, and I cannot fathom Chelsy giving that up.

I totally agree with your take on Chelsy's attitude. I think she is savvy to see it's best to just lay low until she is good and married, then we will have a better idea of what their intent is going forward.

I love that Steve is looking more and more like a grouchy control freak in all of this (like editing the "fun" out of blog comments for instance)... fun might as well be the devil himself if it involves a distraction from the schedule and the bible.

I hope the girls find excuses to hang out at Chelsy and John's house. Oh wait, they'll probably be sent there for surprise covert "spy" cleanings for Steve...

8 hours ago, Jana814 said:

Their is a local place by me where I like to get a burger with blue cheese. It's so good. I have eaten it with a knife and fork before because it just so good that sometimes with a bun it's hard to really taste it. 

I keep seeing this comment and it's making my mouth water!!! Nothing like a perfect blue cheese burger mmm...

[JermajestyDuggar]

I really don't think Chelsy is doing anything all that different from a lot of engaged couples. I was all politeness around my in laws before we got married. I followed their lead and did things their way in their home. Most people tend to be on their best behavior around their finance's parents. The test will be when Chelsy has children and Steve disapproves of something they do as parents. Will he keep his thoughts to himself? I doubt it. He will probably let John know what he thinks and hopefully John can ignore. I guess we will see. 

[onekidanddone]

1 hour ago, formerhsfundie said:

I keep seeing this comment and it's making my mouth water!!! Nothing like a perfect blue cheese burger mmm...

My mother-in-law took us out to dinner tonight and I had a bleu cheese burger. Oh sweet Rufus it was divine. 

[Jana814]

11 minutes ago, onekidanddone said:

My mother-in-law took us out to dinner tonight and I had a bleu cheese burger. Oh sweet Rufus it was divine. 

They are very divine. I might have to get one from the place I like this weekend. 

[socalrules]

The pictures at John and Chelsy’s future home are interesting because the Maxwells actually look truly happy. Smiles are actually meeting most of their eyes. I wonder if they are more relaxed and enjoy the company of each other more when their parents aren’t there. I think the Maxwell kids have a deeper connection with each other than we realize because of having to deal with Teri’s depression and Steve being Steve. Then again, I have never thought the Maxwells are as unhappy as we would like to believe. 

[meowfundiecatz]

On 12/7/2017 at 9:06 PM, PennySycamore said:

Chelsy and John have some interesting things on their registry:  a couple of pretty aprons (one is even called "flirty"!), some essential oils including Thieves* oil, a Pioneer Woman cookbook, pliers and a couple of jack stands. Oh, and a book on the family not written by Stevehovah!

That book used to be called "homemaking" and it is SUPER fundie. I have it and yeah, it would definitely be approved by the Maxwells. Same with the Clarkson book.

[nomoxian]

8 hours ago, catlady said:

what if?  if so, then Steve is an even bigger d-bag than i imagined.

 

Teri's hair length doesn't bother me much, but it does look dry, coarse, and damaged as if she washes it in cheap shampoo and never conditions it.  

Or she just uses cheap conditioner, puts it in and washes it out just as quick. Her hair looks dryier than mine, and I've bleached my hair! I wish she could hop in the car without planning it in the schedule, go to a hair supply store and grab some leave in oil. Mine smells like coconut. Mmm!

I've had hair from a couple inches long all the way to its current rib length. Long hair actually takes some work to maintain, and the method of washing/conditioning it is different. 

[PennySycamore]

@nomoxian,  I've got several leave-ins, but I don't use them all at once:  Curls Blueberry Bliss, Form Beauty Multitasker,  Shea Moisture Argan Oil and a sample of Eden Organics leave-in that I got when I ordered something from Naturally Curly.  Even with an rinse-out instant conditioner, it can help to rinse through and not rinse thoroughly.  IOW, leave some of the instant conditioner in your hair.  Then there's the whole deep conditioner thing.  My current deep conditioner is one by Shea Moisture.

[PennySycamore]

I thought about this when I was washing my hair and could have added an edit to my post above, but wanted to put on my makeup, get dressed and feed the dogs and myself lunch before I added this bit I was reminded of by a post on NaturallyCurly the other day.  It was about how menopause changes our hair.  Women's hair gets drier and less dense.  Our hair just can't tolerate a routine that dies it out too much after menopause.  That goes for me and I'm sure it goes for Teri as well.

[Markie]

I hope that once John and Chelsy are married and living in "his" house, Chelsy will invite her sisters-in-law over for some Baking and cooking  sessions. I'm sure she has a lot of delicious recipes. I wonder where they will go on their honeymoon? Where did the other Maxwells go? I wonder if they will go to a brick and mortar church rather than Daddy's service for the Elderly? What does john do for a job? 

[Tangy Bee]

Regarding John's weight loss. Wedding prep and trying to get their house ready could be very stressful. His meal schedule could be off from traveling back and forth to visit Chelsey. Then again...he could be watching his weight to look sexy on his wedding day...and night. Do Maxwells even know how to be sexy?? Interesting thought.

[formerhsfundie]

1 minute ago, Tangy Bee said:

Do Maxwells even know how to be sexy?? Interesting thought.

Very interesting indeed! Steve and Teri are aware, because they have reverse engineered their girls to be the opposite of "sexy". I feel like it could explain the girls, somewhat. They are avoidant of even very basic improvements like eyebrow maintenance or accessorizing with necklaces/scarves/earrings for a feminine touch.

Even Mary's wide-eyed vacant look could be because she has trained her face to avoid looking seductive in any way, shape or form.

It's amazing what some fundie girls will do to please their father headship, even if it hurts their own marriage prospects (by being unable to relate to available men). These girls are clearly spoken for by Steve. It's so abusive to control adult children the way he does... I don't know how they could be happy, they are in captivity, but it is possible, anything is possible.

[formerhsfundie]

Another thought: all the sheltering in the world cannot prevent them from making comparisons with themselves and  the women their brothers marry. No church, no school, they only ever see only old people and kids. Their brothers' wives, however, have no choice but to interact with them. 

No wonder Steve is behind-the-scenes freaking out about Chelsy (he has probably developed an ulcer over this or something), she has re-ignited a desire for marriage for the girls, it's all looking more possible for them now. Free Sarah!

[JermajestyDuggar]

The Max girls have had a lot of exposure to working single young women in the Bontrager family. They are exposed to Bontrager family members who wear PANTS. They have even been exposed to something as fun as the Bible Bee competition. You can make the Bible into a GAME! *faints*

[formerhsfundie]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The Max girls have had a lot of exposure to working single young women in the Bontrager family. They are exposed to Bontrager family members who wear PANTS. They have even been exposed to something as fun as the Bible Bee competition. You can make the Bible into a GAME! *faints*

Do we have evidence they are allowed to hang out at Bontrager events?  Unsupervised? Is Steve experimenting with loosening the leash a bit, perhaps to keep Sarah compliant with his stay at home daughter demands? This recent talk of friends, the dog, the book launch all look like compromises to keep her happy. That's why I think she may be closer to escape.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, formerhsfundie said:

Do we have evidence they are allowed to hang out at Bontrager events?  Unsupervised? Is Steve experimenting with loosening the leash a bit, perhaps to keep Sarah compliant with his stay at home daughter demands? This recent talk of friends, the dog, the book launch all look like compromises to keep her happy. That's why I think she may be closer to escape.

The girls went to the Family conference the Bontragers have every year. I don't think Steve and Teri went but I'm sure John was around. They all went to the triple wedding weekend. The wedding was a huge mix since their family is quite the mix of Amish and mainstream.

[moreorlessnu]

On 12/4/2017 at 8:25 PM, singsingsing said:

For some reason I just have a feeling that Sarah will end up married eventually, maybe to an older widower, or a guy who's just kind of awkward and shy or maybe just not all that sexual/romantic and hadn't worked up the courage/interest to pursue a relationship until an older age.

(I'm thinking of that older man who married a younger woman - they played piano together and he'd been a family friend for a long time - it creeped people out because I think he looked older than he really was and she looked a lot younger than she actually was - I can't remember their names now, though.) 

I think the interest and willingness is there for her, I'm not convinced yet that Steve is actually against his daughters marrying, and I think she would be a very attractive prospective bride to a guy her own age or older. I also think the type of guy I described would seem less threatening to her and she might feel more comfortable entering a relationship with someone like that than one of these young hot shots.

Was she the red haired young woman who came to take care of her Aunt (or some other relative)? Her future husband started coming by to give her piano lessons, and eventually asked her out on a date to a ball game. I think he was also a redhead, although maybe balding? I'm curious what happened to them.

[Black Aliss]

On 12/8/2017 at 1:36 PM, MamaJunebug said:

So what comes first: the aeronautical interest or the need to look better than everybody else & be in control?

 

In the interest of full disclosure, I am also an engineer, although not in aeronautics. True to stereotype I am also somewhat socially awkward, although not severely so, and also true to stereotype, pretty indifferent to fashion and makeup. I don't see nearly as much "cold and controlling" behavior among my engineering colleagues, although there was one fundy guy several years ago. . .makes my skin crawl just to remember him.

I had just assumed the cold and controlling traits were a result of Boeing culture, because in any organization people tend to hire those who are most like them.

Add me to the "Teri, please get a cute, short haircut" group. And some better bras.

[terranova]

Eating with a knife and fork is reserved for foods inpossible to eat with my hands.

Yes, I am a caveman.

Can we compare Chelsy to Meghan Markle in that she is marrying into a backwards, insular, demanding family where everyone lives on a compound?

[EmmieJ]

10 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

I thought about this when I was washing my hair and could have added an edit to my post above, but wanted to put on my makeup, get dressed and feed the dogs and myself lunch before I added this bit I was reminded of by a post on NaturallyCurly the other day.  It was about how menopause changes our hair.  Women's hair gets drier and less dense.  Our hair just can't tolerate a routine that dies it out too much after menopause.  That goes for me and I'm sure it goes for Teri as well.

While I am quite content to have finished with monthly hormonal changes and menstrual cycle, I do have angst over my hair and what has happened to it.  I always had thick but straight hair.  Tons of hair.  It was always fairly healthy too.  Now, it is most definitely much thinner and dryer.  I'm diabetic as well, so that affects my skin and hair also.  I didn't realize I had such vanity over my hair until it began to change.  Oh well, I keep it fairly short now and use a moisturizing shampoo as well as conditioner.

[jakesykora]

Chelsy just posted a long life lately post (including lots of references to "our house")

But the ending was most notable to me. After referencing her sister's post that had been brought up here I think, she added her own note of the only thing she thought was missing in her sister's post.

See the bolded:
 

Oh. And totally random. But one last random bit of information that's on my heart, and that is this: My sister did a post last week and it is just about the best thing ever. (in my opinion) I've been dying to write about this topic for several years now, but she beat me to it. =) And she did such a fabulous job that there is really nothing left for me to say. 

Except this: "the whole "stay at home daughter" term is not one that I believe girls should aspire to, nor do I believe that it is biblical. Girls should know how to handle themselves and work in public and do life in the real world, the same as men, and men AND women equally should know how to scrub toilets, cook meals, carry on intelligent conversation, and have a wide set of life knowledge + skills."

The end.

 

[sableduck]

27 minutes ago, jakesykora said:

Chelsy just posted a long life lately post (including lots of references to "our house")

But the ending was most notable to me. After referencing her sister's post that had been brought up here I think, she added her own note of the only thing she thought was missing in her sister's post.

See the bolded:
 

Oh. And totally random. But one last random bit of information that's on my heart, and that is this: My sister did a post last week and it is just about the best thing ever. (in my opinion) I've been dying to write about this topic for several years now, but she beat me to it. =) And she did such a fabulous job that there is really nothing left for me to say. 

Except this: "the whole "stay at home daughter" term is not one that I believe girls should aspire to, nor do I believe that it is biblical. Girls should know how to handle themselves and work in public and do life in the real world, the same as men, and men AND women equally should know how to scrub toilets, cook meals, carry on intelligent conversation, and have a wide set of life knowledge + skills."

The end.

 

Shots fired.

You have to wonder how pointed that is, and if the passive aggressive engagement announcement spurred it on.

regardless, Steve must be dying inside.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Honestly I don't know what Steve expected. You can take the Bontragers out of the Amish but you can't take the Amish out of the Bontragers. Everyone working and helping the family unit is a huge part of Amish/Mennonite life. There's nothing wrong with women working in Amish culture and it's kind of expected. If they aren't busy at home with work then they are expected to work outside the home. Usually working with family members. But they are still working outside the home and making money. I can't imagine any Amish or Mennonite being ok with a bunch of grown daughters just hanging around the home doing nothing much. Actually most of the Amish I've come across would be horrified. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Too bad Steve would never allow this cute coupling to happen. Mary and Denver would make a good match IMO. Plus Denver becomes legal this month. I'm sure plenty of fundie girls are already eyeballing him, lol.