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Dillards 46: Now with Pants and a Possible Nose Piercing


Coconut Flan

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31 minutes ago, Jinder Roles said:

On another note D-wreck encouraged people to vote for Roy 'is a child predator who thinks America was better during slavery' Moore. He blatantly disregarded the allegations (most likely true) against Moore because his bigoted Republican fundie agenda is more important than the wellbeing of others. 

Article herehttp://popculture.com/reality-tv/2017/12/12/derick-dillard-tells-people-to-support-roy-moore/

Sweet immaculate baby jesus! I'm completely disgusted. Not shocked but disgusted. Nice to know that Derick will continue to be a fucking idiot. 

ETA: Derick did thank Josh for giving money to his grifting fund and Johs molested his wife...so ick :( Derick Dillard thanking and praising child molesters since 2017. 

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1 minute ago, Carm_88 said:

Sweet immaculate baby jesus! I'm completely disgusted. Not shocked but disgusted. Nice to know that Derick will continue to be a fucking idiot. 

I had a feeling he would say something. I was hoping he wouldn't but it's Derrick 

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Not in the least bit surprised at Derick's tweet.  I also wouldn't be surprised if Jim Bob, and other family members, were in Alabama supporting Moore...but have the sense to not announce it to the rest of the world.

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Honestly Roy Moore is pretty frightening even without sexual misconduct allegations, so I'm hoping Doug Jones can edge this out. :pb_confused:

Totes disappointed, though not surprised, that D-Wreck supports this hateful nutcase.

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34 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

Sweet immaculate baby jesus! I'm completely disgusted. Not shocked but disgusted. Nice to know that Derick will continue to be a fucking idiot. 

Yes, we shouldn't be shocked anymore by him, and in fact now that he's not on the show, he's got even less fucks to give. I think he'll not only continue to be a fucking idiot, but will likely get even worse because he has only his hardcore crazies that he wants to minister to to impress.

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34 minutes ago, SportsgalAnnie said:

I had a feeling he would say something. I was hoping he wouldn't but it's Derrick 

Wonder what Ben has to say. I'm not sure I'm right, but didn't he (Ben) come out against Trump?

38 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

ETA: Derick did thank Josh for giving money to his grifting fund and Johs molested his wife...so ick :( Derick Dillard thanking and praising child molesters since 2017. 

Perfect for the Dillard thread #47.

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9 hours ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

@nastyhobbitses and anyone else struggling with body image issues: might I offer the advice of surrounding yourself as much as possible with positive images? Avoiding triggers and replacing them with affirming images helped me so much. I stopped buying magazines altogether. I had to eliminate the constant barrage of thin models and celebrities. I also unfollowed any accounts on any social media platform that posted a lot of photos of very thin people, either as thinspo or just general fashion photos, and unfollowed anyone who talks about their diet all the time. Instead I started following body positive accounts. Bodyposipanda on Instagram is one of my faves and she regularly links to other people’s accounts.

Mental health is so important, and going to therapy was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. But if you’re not ready, I’d invite you to consider at least taking steps to identify and eliminate triggers in your life. You don’t need things or people in your life that only make you feel bad. 

I've found this helpful too! Finding a body positive person on instagram with a very similar body type to mine helped me recognize its beauty, it's so easy to see in someone else, and that made it easier to appreciate mine. I still have a complicated relationship with food, but I find myself having better thoughts re: body image. 

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24 minutes ago, BlondeIdol said:

I hope Jill doesn't have any more children with that guy period. 

If only. :pb_rollseyes: I guarantee she'll be expecting again by the time Samuel is 18 months old.

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57 minutes ago, onekidanddone said:

I'm not sure I'm right, but didn't he (Ben) come out against Trump?

Yes he did. He admitted that he did not vote for Trump or Hilary.

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19 hours ago, neurogirl said:

@nastyhobbitses Had to skim most of the thread because I have been there but trust me, not a path you want to stay on. 

I too felt deep down into my bones that being thin was your projection to the world that you were competent. As in, people wouldn't take me seriously as a scientist if I were "fat." Which I wasn't. And they wouldn't have thought that. Because it's NOT TRUE. People love you and appreciate you best not for your weight or size, but for all the more important things that make you, you. It takes YEARS after behaviors stop to stop thinking like that. I don't think I'll ever be free of some of the thought patterns. But living life like you're doing right now is NOT WORTH IT.

Even now when I bemoan the modest changes in weight/size since my own recovery (which REALLY was not a lot, so not trying to freak you out), my boyfriend who was with me for the entire thing says "yes but you're so much more fun now" or interesting. Or happy. or sane. Or healthy. Or independent. Or. Or. Or. Our relationship is better. Our sex is better. My academics are better. My friendships are better. The way I talk to myself is like a different person.

I've seen too many people essentially lose years of their life being mentally caught in food/numbers/exercise/control/perfect/deny/restrict/avoid and it's such a waste. Therapy and a dietician turned my life around. Please consider getting help.

This was me. Thank God for recovery! I wish I could get those years back though. I lost most of my 20s to ED.

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2 minutes ago, Galbin said:

Ah, okay. Here you can see a therapist in the evenings. Is that not possible where you live? 

 

It probably is, but evenings are generally when I run my errands (lunch breaks aren't really a thing in my line of work; I eat at my desk and work while I eat), and staying out later than, say, 7 makes me tempted to eat at a restaurant instead of my usual chicken and broccoli/kale at home. That's fine on a Friday (though again, might stop doing that because I've been indulging too much and I'll really need to cut back after the holidays because that's just going to be like 5 cheat days in a row), but it screws up the rest of my meal planning for the week if it's on any other day.

On the bright side, my dress for the office holiday party came today and I look damn good in it if I do say so myself.

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1 minute ago, nastyhobbitses said:

It probably is, but evenings are generally when I run my errands (lunch breaks aren't really a thing in my line of work; I eat at my desk and work while I eat), and staying out later than, say, 7 makes me tempted to eat at a restaurant instead of my usual chicken and broccoli/kale at home. That's fine on a Friday (though again, might stop doing that because I've been indulging too much and I'll really need to cut back after the holidays because that's just going to be like 5 cheat days in a row), but it screws up the rest of my meal planning for the week if it's on any other day.

On the bright side, my dress for the office holiday party came today and I look damn good in it if I do say so myself.

I don't want to come off as mean, but the entire first paragraph sums up why it would be wise to seek professional help. And I know crazy brain won't care but you are actually very slim at your current weight anyway. 

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@nastyhobbitses or anyone else, regarding worrying about colleagues knowing that you are seeing a therapist.  Nothing is as eye opening as seeing a colleague come out of a therapist office while you are entering the other therapist's office (shared suite).

 

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1 hour ago, bananabread said:

If only. :pb_rollseyes: I guarantee she'll be expecting again by the time Samuel is 18 months old.

I know. I suppose it's inevitable. Just makes me sad to see more people born into that situation. 

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On 12/11/2017 at 8:43 PM, nastyhobbitses said:

Nope. I know that maybe I should, but time is an issue and people at work thinking I have problems is an issue.

I totally get that. Before I started my current job I was in group therapy, but stopped so I could get settled in on my new routine. The group is still going, and I miss them, but I'm so self-conscious about talking to my boss about it. I don't want people knowing my business, but at the same time I don't think my coworkers would really judge me. And even if they did, one thing I'm passionate about is reducing stigma around mental health issues. So I should just say, "screw what they think," but it's just so much harder to apply that/rational thoughts and actions to yourself. Hang in there. Maybe there's a therapist who has evening hours? But I'm echoing others when I say I care about you, and you're really insightful and witty, so I want you to be happy and take care of yourself. :tw_heart:

Edit: Oops, someone already suggested evenings.

11 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@VelociRapture,  give VelociBaby a big birthday hug and kiss from me!  It's hard to believe that she turns one today.

Give her a hug and a kiss from me too!! I hope she had a wonderful birthday, full of snuggles, love, and dinosaurs. Which reminds me, I think you'll appreciate this. A two-year-old is watching "The Good Dinosaur" or something, and the dinosaur gets injured:

9 hours ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

@singsingsing there has been a lot of success with gastric surgeries actually. This may sound extreme but it has been shown to be more successful for long term weightloss than any diet. For people who are health-threateningly overweight this is an expensive but proven option. However, what I believe she’s talking about when she says diets fail is not making healthy changes to your diet, shes talking about “going on a diet.” Meaning following whatever regimen is hot at the time. Juice clenses, intermittent fasting, keto, paleo, slim fast, whatever. Anything that causes rapid weight loss in a short time will ultimately fail in the long term. 

I know people have seen success with lifestyle changes such as finding an exercise you’ll actually do regularly, limiting sugar, and adding more helathful foods to your diet. Those things are valuable and necessary. But they aren’t likely to turn the average person into a supermodel. Just a healthier version of themselves. Which is great but for some reason not enough for people.

The problem with diet culture is that it is so often framed as an all or nothing game. I have someone in my life who recently had gastric sleeve surgery and dropped a lot of weight and improved her blood pressure immensely. But she was motivated by her appearance, not her health, so she’s still dieting and unhappily trying to reach a goal weight that is likely impossible for her. She’s undoing any improvements to her health by obsessing over her appearance. She, like many people, genuinely believed that losing weight would make her happy. But it won’t. It never does. There’s always more to lose. And even if she does lose it, next she’ll want a boob lift, or a facelift or both. 

My point is, healthy lifestyle changes are not the same thing as “a diet” and getting skinny is not the same thing as getting healthy. And in the case of your father, is he also taking medication for insulin resistance? Because that is something that can also make a huge difference in weight management for diabetics.

Oh man, the paleo diet. My brother decided to do that (and has been for several months, except when he's home). He's never been overweight, he just really wants defined muscles to appeal to women. (I was tempted to tell him to get a personality change if he wants to be appealing, but I figured that was too mean.) My mom told him that this diet wasn't necessarily healthy, and he can still eat carbs but just exercise portion control. He disagrees. After all, what does she know? She's a cardiologist! She helps people be healthy for a living, so what valuable advise could she possibly give?

His twin has always had defined muscles and that probably adds issues. The twin was pretty much born with defined abs (I'm only kindly exaggerating). There's a picture of us at the beach when we were little, and he's about six or seven and you can see a faint outline of a six-pack. I think that also shows we all have different body types. Some people have an easier time building muscle or losing weight, and as others have said you can't base your ideal weight off of a formula.

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On 11/27/2017 at 6:24 PM, Iamtheway said:

I have no piercings. Not even ears. And feel pretty happy about that. I have a small tattoo though and am not even a little afraid of needles after jabbing myself multiple times a day during ivf.

I still have all my needles in a box. My box of ivf pain that I can't seem to part with. 

Sorry this is late. @Iamtheway  I'm doing an FET right now. I have a huge sharpes container full of needles from the PIO injection in my butt.  I've done 2 failed IVF cycles. You are not alone! This infertility SUCKS!!!

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9 hours ago, Spanger said:

Same thing happened with one of my good friends.

And just wanted to point out, the surgery is not exactly "easy" either.  Even before the surgery, she had to change her diet to get ready, no solid food for a month- and had lost a lot of weight just by doing that.  And she was in bad pain for a couple months after while healing.  Right before her surgery, she started wondering, "hey maybe if I just keep up this liquid diet Id lose the weight on my own?" But- the surgery was scheduled, and she just went ahead with it anyway.

It worked for a good while at first, because she could only eat tiny portions, but really- she didn't want to be eating like that.  She slowly kept upping her food intake until she was back eating what she felt like was a 'normal' amount, and well, the weight went back on.

Im glad that it's at least helpful for some people, but if you aren't committed to maintaining the adjustments you make for the surgery, it's not a magic cure-all, plus it's expensive and painful.  So each person needs to do what's right for them, but just be aware of thinking surgery would be an easy out, because it might not be/isn't, even if everything goes well with it, it's definitely not "easy!"

The surgery has around a 5% success rate at 6 years because people start eating normally again.  I had lap band surgery 6 years ago, I initially lost 47 pounds, and plateaued, nothing I did worked and I couldn't loose anymore weight. I was so frustrated.  But I maintained that weight loss for 2 years.  I had a merina IUD put in and gained 40 pounds in 3 months, with out changing my diet (but the IUD doesn't cause weight gain :pb_rollseyes:). I was so depressed and upset, then my anxiety exploded to undealable levels, and I started drinking a LOT, and gained another 20 pounds. I quit drinking after about a year because, yeah, I didn't want to be an alcoholic.  The anxiety was still there and the depression hit on top of that, and I gained another 40 pounds. I've finally gotten a handle on my depression and my anxiety is better still there but I can cope with it now.  

All this to say, the surgery isn't a good way to go unless you do therapy along with it. I'm going to start a new program in January it is a liquid meal replacement diet that you do for 12 weeks, then 6 weeks of 2 shakes a day and 1 meal (like Slim Fast) for those 18 weeks you go in once a week and meet with a therapist and get your shakes. So for 18 weeks you get therapy to go along with accountability. That is where the other programs fall short, for most of us who are this over weight it is emotional/mental issues that meed to be dealt with in order for any weight loss program/diet/life style change to be successful long term. 

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Just now, SportsgalAnnie said:

It looks like Moore lost... cue the angry Derrick tweets 

Ahhh! The Snickers household might be getting drunk over here, wahoo!!

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7 minutes ago, SportsgalAnnie said:

It looks like Moore lost... cue the angry Derrick tweets 

There IS a Santa Claus, and he's given us an early Christmas present. :happy-cheerleaderkid:

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11 minutes ago, SportsgalAnnie said:

It looks like Moore lost... cue the angry Derrick tweets 

I'm love that Moore lost not DWrecks shitty tweets. 

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