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Seewalds 28: Marketing Kids as Deflection


Coconut Flan

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5 minutes ago, brusselsgriffon said:

Weird that they don't follow Jessica, seeing as she loves Jesus, being a republican and spewing hate online :dontgetit: must be the immodesty and the boyfriend?

Ben apparently doesn't like Trump and didn't vote for him, so maybe there's some bad blood there.

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17 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Even if she were at the TTH every week, who cares? I remember someone saying, 'Well she has her own kids and her own house to take care of, she should be at home.' Uhhh... WHAT? What kind of logic is that? Even if she were at the TTH every damn day, she'd still probably be spending less time there than she would at work if she had a full time job.

I think a lot of the comments about them being at the TTH a lot come from a place of worry that they will foist their young kids off on the lost girls while they keep producing more children they can't care for themselves. I don't think it's a general commentary on spending time with family, which I think most people agree is great.

It's hard to know where the line is between normal babysitting and a second generation "buddy system" that gets you out of actual parenting. I don't think Jessa and Ben have crossed it, though.

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5 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Ben apparently doesn't like Trump and didn't vote for him, so maybe there's some bad blood there.

Ha, that would be nice but then he'd have bad blood with just about everyone in his family! Makes me wonder who he and Jessa *did* vote for. I find it hard to imagine Jessa not voting for Trump, but I also find it hard to believe she'd vote differently than her headship. 

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4 minutes ago, brusselsgriffon said:

Ha, that would be nice but then he'd have bad blood with just about everyone in his family! Makes me wonder who he and Jessa *did* vote for. I find it hard to imagine Jessa not voting for Trump, but I also find it hard to believe she'd vote differently than her headship. 

I meant more like maybe his sister was extremely vocal about her support, and they had a nasty argument or something. But I doubt that's the reason they don't follow her on Instagram. There may be no reason at all.

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23 minutes ago, brusselsgriffon said:

Ha, that would be nice but then he'd have bad blood with just about everyone in his family! Makes me wonder who he and Jessa *did* vote for. I find it hard to imagine Jessa not voting for Trump, but I also find it hard to believe she'd vote differently than her headship. 

Most likely the conservative party candidate: http://home.conservativepartyusa.org/issues/ . Gary Johnson (Libertarian) wouldn't have been conservative enough.

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18 minutes ago, zygote373 said:

I think a lot of the comments about them being at the TTH a lot come from a place of worry that they will foist their young kids off on the lost girls while they keep producing more children they can't care for themselves. I don't think it's a general commentary on spending time with family, which I think most people agree is great.

It's hard to know where the line is between normal babysitting and a second generation "buddy system" that gets you out of actual parenting. I don't think Jessa and Ben have crossed it, though.

I completely agree - I don't think it's a bad situation for the 2nd generation kids, but for me it brings up the issue of the lost girls/possibly Jana. I also wonder about the whole cycle that it perpetuates: the older girls had to look after their younger siblings for their entire adolescence/young adulthood, then their little sisters could end up watching their nieces and nephews. What happens to the youngest Duggar kids' future children? Will they be looked after by their older cousins (like the first girls Jill/Jessa will inevitably have)? Are all the Duggar women just doomed to spend their teenage years as sister/aunt/cousin-moms?

At the same time though, I think it's great to have family around to spend time with! Grandparents, aunts, and uncles are great resources and generally I don't think there is an issue with relying on family sometimes as long as they're okay with it. I have 6 young nieces and nephews very close in age and I love spending time with them and babysitting sometimes. But I never feel like I'm raising them or am their primary caregiver.

(I also understand that in some families grandparents/other family are indeed primary caregivers - which is absolutely fine if that's what's worked out. But in that situation it wouldn't be great if the parents just kept having kids and making their family raise those kids.)

I don't follow Jill and Jessa's families that closely but it hasn't really appeared to me that they're foisting off their kids for their sisters to raise even though they go to the TTH a lot. YMMV

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Ben really doesn't use instagram that much anymore. So it's probably not a deliberate snub either way. 

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One decidedly unlikely thought I had is what if Jessa brings them to the TTH to give them the chance to socialize with other kids knowing that they won't have as many siblings that she had? 

It's too early to really tell, but if Jessa enjoyed having a childhood with a boat loads of siblings and always having someone to play with she might want that for her kids. If she knows that she probably won't have as many kids she might be taking them to the TTH every so often to give them the best of both worlds. Loads of individual attention at home WITH the added bonus of a hoard of play mates at the TTH

I'm also not sure how much work the younger Jkids really have in terms of Jessa bringing them there. They might help a bit but the buddy system was so relient on being in the same house. It's highly unlikely that Hannie is responsible for getting Spurgeon up and dressed in the morning, washing him, brushing his hair and teeth, getting his breakfast and helping him with it and repeating the whole cycle at bedtime. I'm sure they are helping with the Seewald kids but likely not to the same extent that the sister mom's cared for their own siblings. 

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I think it's really simple as to why Jessa goes to TTH

She is a SAHM with not a lot of (any?) hobbies, she is probably exhausted running after the 2 kids and after a while it becomes really hard to try to entertain them on your own. She has a built-in circus at TTH and can put her feet up for an hour or run errands, etc. And the kids probably like it.

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1 hour ago, zygote373 said:

I think a lot of the comments about them being at the TTH a lot come from a place of worry that they will foist their young kids off on the lost girls while they keep producing more children they can't care for themselves. I don't think it's a general commentary on spending time with family, which I think most people agree is great.

It's hard to know where the line is between normal babysitting and a second generation "buddy system" that gets you out of actual parenting. I don't think Jessa and Ben have crossed it, though.

 

1 hour ago, Eponine said:

I completely agree - I don't think it's a bad situation for the 2nd generation kids, but for me it brings up the issue of the lost girls/possibly Jana. I also wonder about the whole cycle that it perpetuates: the older girls had to look after their younger siblings for their entire adolescence/young adulthood, then their little sisters could end up watching their nieces and nephews. What happens to the youngest Duggar kids' future children? Will they be looked after by their older cousins (like the first girls Jill/Jessa will inevitably have)? Are all the Duggar women just doomed to spend their teenage years as sister/aunt/cousin-moms?

At the same time though, I think it's great to have family around to spend time with! Grandparents, aunts, and uncles are great resources and generally I don't think there is an issue with relying on family sometimes as long as they're okay with it. I have 6 young nieces and nephews very close in age and I love spending time with them and babysitting sometimes. But I never feel like I'm raising them or am their primary caregiver.

(I also understand that in some families grandparents/other family are indeed primary caregivers - which is absolutely fine if that's what's worked out. But in that situation it wouldn't be great if the parents just kept having kids and making their family raise those kids.)

I don't follow Jill and Jessa's families that closely but it hasn't really appeared to me that they're foisting off their kids for their sisters to raise even though they go to the TTH a lot. YMMV

This is my worry with Jessa going to TTH a lot. I wonder the same thing about Jill. Its fine to go there and hang out. Its not fine to dump your kids on someone else.  She already has her sisters over to clean her house. How often does she use them to take care of her kids? TTH still seems like the dumping ground for kids and it still seems like the sister-aunts are busy helping take care of their nephews. Its not the sister-aunts to take care of their sister's kids. Just like it wasn't the older girls jobs to raise their sisters and brothers. Why does they need to dump her kids off? She doesn't have a job, or go to school. She doesn't have any hobbies or volunteer anywhere. If she was going to use TTH as a dumping ground I'd rather she do it if she's going to college, or getting a job or doing something. She has nothing to do all day every day. 

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53 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

I think it's really simple as to why Jessa goes to TTH

She is a SAHM with not a lot of (any?) hobbies, she is probably exhausted running after the 2 kids and after a while it becomes really hard to try to entertain them on your own. She has a built-in circus at TTH and can put her feet up for an hour or run errands, etc. And the kids probably like it.

I guess she could have filled more of her time by throwing away the dirty diapers and cleaning the house, before she scooted on over to the TTH to put her feet up. Isn't that the approach most responsible adults would take?

The evil part of me thinks Jessa is foisting her kids on her mom, because paybacks being what they are-

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Amazed at Ben's re-tweet - it could also be because his wife was made to be a sister mom well before her prime (because her mother and father were too busy bonking).

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48 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

Fingers crossed it's both!

Dare I hope?! 

Spoiler

Yes! 

 

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4 hours ago, SamiKatz said:

Ben:  moving away from rigid fundie beliefs, or:  trollling Derick.

Ben Seewald, fundie feminist! (A girl can dream)

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4 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I guess she could have filled more of her time by throwing away the dirty diapers and cleaning the house, before she scooted on over to the TTH to put her feet up. Isn't that the approach most responsible adults would take?

The evil part of me thinks Jessa is foisting her kids on her mom, because paybacks being what they are-

I don't really want to criticize her too much for a messy house but the truth is that all of these Duggars have shown themselves to be pretty lazy with very poor work ethic. They don't even know how to get up in the morning at a reasonable hour. So yeah, Jessa's just another one who never had a job or had to juggle a lot of things. This is why she is a SAHM whose sisters clean her house for heaven's sake.

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Ben and Jessa only follow each other and his parents - neither of them follow Jessica or Danielle. Danielle follows all of them. Jessica follows Danielle, Ben, and Jessa. Guinn and Michael follow Ben, Jessa, Danielle, and Jessica. 

I don’t think there’s a rift. Jessica has shared photos of her visiting her nephews before. If there was a major rift then I don’t think she’d have access to the boys.

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56 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

So yeah, Jessa's just another one who never had a job or had to juggle a lot of things. This is why she is a SAHM whose sisters clean her house for heaven's sake.

Jessa has two very small children. I think that counts as juggling. Yes, I know, there are women who have children and work full time and volunteer at eight different charities and run marathons on the weekends, but this isn't the mommy olympics. Maybe her sisters have helped clean her house in the past, but they're obviously not doing it on a regular basis - her much-criticized 'messy house' Instagram post kind of proves that.

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@singsingsing I prefer to believe he doesn't follow his sister because she's a mess. 

As for Ben's tweet, I'm not surprised. Ben's always been interested in theological accuracy. He also does not have a dominating personality. I wouldn't call him a fundie feminist though. There's a big difference between what you say and how your theology actually functions. I think people forget sometimes that even fundies are nuanced (not that much though). 

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I know this is probably crazy but maybe Ben pays more attention to the world outside the fundie bubble and he's realizing that a relationship is a partnership. 

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