Do The Malley's Understand What The Word Best Friends Means?

[debrand]

I

Sarah Mally is 6 years older than her brother, Stephen and 10 years older than her sister, Grace. Although it is possible that as adults, the three might be close friends, as children they would have been at very different levels. It would have been strange for 20 year old Sarah to think of 10 year old Grace as her best friend. In fact, I would wonder about the emotional maturity of a 20 year old whose best friend was only 10.

This makes me wonder if the Mallys are using the word, best friend to mean being kind and tolerant to younger siblings. To me, that isn't being a best friend, its just being a good older sister. In order to be best friends with someone, two people need to be on similar emotional and mental levels.

brightlightsdiscipleship.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=70&Itemid=88

Real “life training†begins at home when your sister won’t share her toys or when your little brother scribbles all over your new coloring book. It continues as you grow up and learn how to respond to daily trials and conflicts—big or small—that you experience at home. If you can’t succeed at home in the “small conflicts,†how will you be able to deal with bigger conflicts later in life?

Our brothers and sisters are one of the biggest blessings that God has given us! But sadly, many siblings fight, argue, and miss out on the close relationship that God intends. The problem is not just the surface battles, but the underlying attitudes, wrong concepts, and offenses. Many broken relationships never get fixed. Few enjoy the special, lifelong treasure that God intended. God desires that we not merely “get along†with our brothers and sisters, but that we become best friends!

Is this possible? Absolutely! God's Word has the answers for every situation, and the Lord gives grace to those who ask for it.

December 2009

In 2002, Sarah, Stephen and Grace Mally published the book Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends. Their goal was to communicate—through personal stories of real-life struggles—how brothers and sisters can overcome challenges in their relationships and gain the rewards that come with close family harmony. Since that time they have been encouraged to see many other families seeking God’s best in their relationships—shining as a bright testimony to the world! The three of them continue to work full time with their ministry, Tomorrow’s Forefathers

Edited to make less wordy

[raineymott]

I'd like to know how they got the idea that God intends for brothers and sisters to be close. It sure isn't precedented in any way, shape, or form, in the Christian bible!

[debrand]

On a slightly different topic, I believe that Stephen is a photographer. There is a sports photographer by the name of Stephen Mally who works for the New York Times. Does anyone know if that is the same Stephen Mally?

In answer to my own question:

tomorrowsforefathers.com/gracenotes/?p=649

Yesterday, Stephen received a call from the New York Times asking him to cover the “illegal alien arrests†in Postville, Iowa. He’s there at this moment and from what we hear, he’s having a pretty interesting time.

tomorrowsforefathers.com/gracenotes/?p=1093

Now this leads me to wonder why he isn't married? Obviously, he has his own income.

[debrand]

I'd like to know how they got the idea that God intends for brothers and sisters to be close. It sure isn't precedented in any way, shape, or form, in the Christian bible!

Most of the siblings in the bible were pretty jerkish to one another. Jacob stole his brother, Esau's birthright for a bowl of lentil soup. Joseph had dreams in which his family bowed to him and his brothers sold him into slavery. Healthy relationships between siblings in the Old Testament appear to be rare.

Beyond making certain that your children are respectful and kind to one another, I don't understand putting additional pressure on them to be best friends. Not just friends, but best friends.

[raineymott]

Most of the siblings in the bible were pretty jerkish to one another. Jacob stole his brother, Esau's birthright for a bowl of lentil soup. Joseph had dreams in which his family bowed to him and his brothers sold him into slavery. There must be some healthy relationships between siblings in the Old Testament but I think that they are in the minorty.

Beyond making certain that your children are respectful and kind to one another, I don't understand putting additional pressure on them to be best friends. Not just friends, but best friends.

Yeah, exactly!!

My dad pushed us together (practically never let us be apart) because he always said our siblings were going to be the best friends we'd ever find. HATED IT. You can't FORCE someone to be close to someone else!!

[NurseNell]

My sister is 11 1/2 years younger than me. I had 2 brothers and had prayed for years to get a sister. She was not planned.....by my parents. I adored having a baby sister. This was back in the 50's before the days of "pregnant and 15", I took my sister practically everywhere with me, and everyone knew she was my sister. She was only 7 when I went away to college. She sometimes came to spend a weekend with me in the dorms. I wouldn't say we were best friends just because of the age difference, I didn't think of her as my best friend but as my baby sister. But as adults yes, she is my best friend. We have never had an argument or a disagreement since she was born in 1956. 8-)

Nell

[debrand]

My sister is 11 1/2 years younger than me. I had 2 brothers and had prayed for years to get a sister. She was not planned.....by my parents. I adored having a baby sister. This was back in the 50's before the days of "pregnant and 15", I took my sister practically everywhere with me, and everyone knew she was my sister. She was only 7 when I went away to college. She sometimes came to spend a weekend with me in the dorms. I wouldn't say we were best friends just because of the age difference, I didn't think of her as my best friend but as my baby sister. But as adults yes, she is my best friend. We have never had an argument or a disagreement since she was born in 1956. 8-)

Nell

That's wonderful! :)

My brother and sister are my friends. They aren't my best friends. I would go through hell if it meant helping my sister and brother but we're too different to be best friends. That doesn't mean we don't love each other very much.

[gustava]

So Steven Malley works for the ebil mainstream liberal NYT?????

[debrand]

So Steven Malley works for the ebil mainstream liberal NYT?????

Apparently, he has some connection with them.

stephenmally.com/

I found a link to what I think is his business website. It confuses me that Sarah seems to advocate that women remain tightly under their father's authority. Yet her brother has a pretty long client list(if this is the same Stephen Mally) He must have a lot of contact with the outside world or he couldn't get jobs.

sportsshooter.com/members.html?id=5421

There is no photo of the photographer Stephen Mally on these sites so I can't be certain it is her brother or a different man

[myanimus]

Growing up my brother and I were really close and he's 7 years older then me, of course our house was different so maybe that's partially why but either way I'd say we were the best of friends.

Our boys are really close too but I'm mom so I don't think I can really judge if they'd consider themselves best friends or if it's the fact that they're brothers (really close in age) and get along really well.

[clibbyjo]

Steve Maxwell said they are ALL best friends. I am sure he and Mary hang out all the time as best friends like to do. Especially teenage girls.

[bananacat]

Of course fundies would just say that only "worldy" 10 year-olds are immature because of Sunday School and youth group and that their 10 year-old is perfectly mature enough to be bffs with her 20 year-old sister. In reality, they'll both be emotionally stunted and until the older one gets married, they'll have all be forced to have the exact same interests and hobbies.

[Hane]

My sister is 11 1/2 years younger than me. I had 2 brothers and had prayed for years to get a sister. She was not planned.....by my parents. I adored having a baby sister. This was back in the 50's before the days of "pregnant and 15", I took my sister practically everywhere with me, and everyone knew she was my sister. She was only 7 when I went away to college. She sometimes came to spend a weekend with me in the dorms. I wouldn't say we were best friends just because of the age difference, I didn't think of her as my best friend but as my baby sister. But as adults yes, she is my best friend. We have never had an argument or a disagreement since she was born in 1956. 8-)

This sounds like me and my baby sister, who was born when I was 12. She started kindergarten the day I started college. A college friend of mine had the same kind of relationship when her baby sister--her only sibling--was born when my friend was 16.

[pomology]

I'd like to know how they got the idea that God intends for brothers and sisters to be close. It sure isn't precedented in any way, shape, or form, in the Christian bible!

I think fundies do it not because it is particularly a Christian precept, but because it helps them stay isolated and fundies love them some isolation.

[NurseNell]

[

This sounds like me and my baby sister, who was born when I was 12. She started kindergarten the day I started college. A college friend of mine had the same kind of relationship when her baby sister--her only sibling--was born when my friend was 16.

It's great having a baby sister isn't it! :angelic-sunshine: I cannot imagine my life without my sister. She even followed me into nursing.

Nell

[flojo]

It's great having a baby sister isn't it! :angelic-sunshine: I cannot imagine my life without my sister. She even followed me into nursing.

Nell

Haha - my sister was born a few months before I turned 20... And it is amazing how much it feel like my life and fmily wouldn't be complete without her, even though I was already away at college when she was born.

[marmalade]

I have sisters-by-adoption who are 10,12 and 13 years older than I. My brother is 3 years younger than me, so there's an even bigger age gap. My parents were the same age when they married (my brother and I were adopted by our original mother and dad when they were in their mid/late 30's), but by the time they married, the youngest of the older sisters was 21 and had been out of her home for 3 years. Yeah, we're the "luggage" family; all of us were pretty much kicked out and self-supporting before we were 19.

The middle sister hated my 8 year old brother on sight; what could an 8 year old kid have done to a 23 year old woman? He's gay, and showed it early on if you knew the signs (or wore your dresses), but she's as atheist and liberal as they come. Point being, we never lived with our older step-sisters who became legal sisters a few years later (my dad was a widower), but the two youngest sisters and I became good friends over the years, although once the sister who hates my brother moved to NC for my BIL's health, and the subsequent passing of our parents (they still have one step-father - my mother's second husband) still living and since he was the guy who was their father figure growing up, they all continue to maintain a relationship with him and my niece and nephews consider both him and my late dad as grandpas, although interestingly, one sister's kids were more drawn to the second husband and the oldest sister's kids gravitated toward my dad, I guess since they always knew him with their grandma.

Families are weird like that. One sister lives about 5 miles from me and we spend most of our time within a mile of each other during the weekdays, but since the split from her husband (they waited until the youngest was almost 21...his birthday is in a few days), I haven't heard from her at all, but I hear from the sister in NC, who still hates my brother with the intensity of a thousand suns, via email on a weekly basis.

[NurseNell]

I have sisters-by-adoption who are 10,12 and 13 years older than I. My brother is 3 years younger than me, so there's an even bigger age gap. My parents were the same age when they married (my brother and I were adopted by our original mother and dad when they were in their mid/late 30's), but by the time they married, the youngest of the older sisters was 21 and had been out of her home for 3 years.

I'm confused. :? What do you mean by original parents? In the context of adoption that would mean birth parents to me. Is your brother a bio brother? Were the sisters by adoption the bio children of the parents who adopted you?

Nell