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Weenese 3: Brother Gary Hawkins Wanting God All Over Him


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This thread title is brought to you by my new favorite Brother Gary quote ever: "GOD help me to get you all over me." 

Ahem. 

Anyway, carrying on from here:

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Ok the thread title. I just snorted at my desk! This family... homeschools? I’ve looked around on Facebook but I don’t have a clear understanding of how many blessings they have? I thought all fundy families had to have an about page to discuss their ministry and their children’s strengths (diligent, Kind, loves the lord, etc...) and favorite bible verse or something?

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I was so excited to see a new Bro G thread pop up on my phone! My headship and I were talking and he doesn't get my obsession with FJ. So he read that last post by Bro G out loud and we were cracking up by the end.

Also thank you sis Coy Koi for your brilliant translation. I didn't know what the hell he was talking about!

Sis Puma

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Coy Koi said:

"I ran it through a Weenese-to-English translator and this is what it came up with:

Greetings, friends.

At church today the message was about being used for God's purposes. As I sat there, I got to thinking about how we're addicted to worldly pleasures rather than being fully devoted to serving God. Lots of people claim to love Jesus but their actions say otherwise. How much God do we really want? Why is it that in olden times, people had God, but now in the 21st century we are less devout? People are so wrapped up in the world that they think just a little bit of religion is enough for them.

I personally thank God that I no longer worship man-made religion, but instead I worship Jesus himself. When will the rest of you motherfuckers wake up and be more like me? God told me to ask when you were going to let him control every aspect of your life, like you're supposed to. Specifically, he wants to know where's the fucking money he told you to send me,  you fake ass bitches?

Bro Gary Hawkins"

 

I would like to nominate this post as Best of FreeJinger 2017.  I realize we still have a couple of months left but I can't foresee anyone topping this.  Coi's Weenese translation skills are second to none.:dance:

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7 minutes ago, EyesOpen said:

Ok the thread title. I just snorted at my desk! This family... homeschools? I’ve looked around on Facebook but I don’t have a clear understanding of how many blessings they have? I thought all fundy families had to have an about page to discuss their ministry and their children’s strengths (diligent, Kind, loves the lord, etc...) and favorite bible verse or something?

Yeah, their family situation was really hard to figure out. But with a lot of FB-stalking, we finally did it, and it was so worth it. Both of them are divorced, but we have no idea where Bro Gary's ex-wife is. Bro Gary has three kids (that we know of, I suppose it's possible he could have more out there somewhere) and they live with them. Sis Becky has four kids, but three of them live with her ex-husband and his husband (yes, his husband! they seem like a very nice, happy family...NOTHING like these loons). So they have four kids total living with them right now, but they used to have six and seven. Bro Gary claims all seven kids are "his" even though the three living with their actual dad wisely seem to want absolutely nothing to do with him, and not a whole lot to do with their mom either.

They do have a website, but the kids' "biographies" are just a bible verse. http://www.hawkinsfamilyministries.org/index.php/bio-s

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Don't forget. They are both "victims of fornication". Whatever the hell that means. They're also upset that her other kids only get an hour a month to "hear the good news" or something equally likely to mean they only get subjected to hearing what an evil sinner their dad is for an hour each month.

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Ok folks, it always cracks me up when Bro Gary posts some unintelligible Weenese, and one of his followers says this:

20171107_130148.png.0d7be8567cedc585db214bd34e6e1fea.png

Like, really? You actually thought that was well said?

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38 minutes ago, General Jinjur said:

Ok folks, it always cracks me up when Bro Gary posts some unintelligible Weenese, and one of his followers says this:

20171107_130148.png.0d7be8567cedc585db214bd34e6e1fea.png

Like, really? You actually thought that was well said?

Maybe they meant "word salad" but they spell just as well as Mr. Ween.

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On 11/6/2017 at 3:41 PM, DaisyD said:

Don't forget. They are both "victims of fornication".

His ex probably had to listen to whispered "sweet nothings" in Weenese, which I imagine could prove problematic.

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22 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

His ex probably had to listen to whispered "sweet nothings" in Weenese, which I imagine could prove problematic.

Sweat nut hinges?

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8 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

 

20171107_130148.png.0d7be8567cedc585db214bd34e6e1fea.png

Like, really? You actually thought that was well said?

I have a feeling that bar is set pretty low. Like, limbo-low. 

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Does "God is working but the devil has to put his help in there" sound like God is relying on Satan to help fix it to anyone else? 

"Yo Lucifer! You're still coming over to help with Bro Gary, right?"

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1 hour ago, Coy Koi said:

ghaw11.PNG.6162d1c02fba4b4dd7c66228a757d1c5.PNG

Ok folks, just a reminder that with God all things or possibly. :cool:

What I wonder is, just what is that "very urgent prayer request"? 

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23 minutes ago, pamplemousse said:

What I wonder is, just what is that "very urgent prayer request"? 

No more pink weens in ME

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On 11/6/2017 at 2:41 PM, Carol said:

 

 

I would like to nominate this post as Best of FreeJinger 2017.  I realize we still have a couple of months left but I can't foresee anyone topping this.  Coi's Weenese translation skills are second to none.:dance:

I SECOND THIS NOMINATION!!

2 hours ago, pamplemousse said:

What I wonder is, just what is that "very urgent prayer request"? 

The bus? Is it parked somewhere? Perhaps he has to move it or come up with some money for it to stay. Obviously it isn't on the road or we would know all about it. One must wonder about Bro's ex, the Fornicator. Because life with Gary&Becks seems pretty shitty for those kids. 

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8 minutes ago, Nikedagain? said:

The bus? Is it parked somewhere? Perhaps he has to move it or come up with some money for it to stay. Obviously it isn't on the road or we would know all about it. One must wonder about Bro's ex, the Fornicator. Because life with Gary&Becks seems pretty shitty for those kids. 

I assume it's got to be something about the bus. That's their primary concern these days (and of course securing suitable shelter for one's family SHOULD be anyone's primary concern if it's in question, but they're just doing it way, way wrong).

I think they just feel stupid to keep talking about the bus that they JUST BOUGHT, which IMMEDIATELY failed. As they should. That was beyond a horrible decision.

I would pay a good 10USD to learn Gary's ex-wife's story. I'd pay more than that to help her get custody of those poor kids, if she isn't somehow in an even worse position than him.

Seriously, I feel for these kids so much. We only don't feel as bad for them than we do about the Rodrigues kids because we know so little about them as individuals. But these are real kids who are suffering, and they deserve so much better. :my_sad:

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4 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

ghaw11.PNG.6162d1c02fba4b4dd7c66228a757d1c5.PNG

<img class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" data-fileid="31095" src="http://www.freejinger.org/uploads/monthly_2017_11/ghaw11.PNG.6162d1c02fba4b4dd7c66228a757d1c5.PNG" alt="ghaw11.PNG.6162d1c02fba4b4dd7c66228a757d1c5.PNG" />

Ok folks, just a reminder that with God all things or possibly. :cool:

ok folks,

What I wonder is, who is Will and how are we supposed to pressure him into joining Bro Gary?

Sis CoD

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I've caught up from a while back but seriously, look at an old post @keepercjr found. Did Becky write this? Because if Gary wrote this in 2014 then I fear a Flowers for Algernon situation. Which is what Gary's writings often remind me of.IMG_2020.PNG

And lastly, I know it's not IT BIBLE, the KJB, but I found a Bible more on Gary's level:

DOJLrEgU8AAp3zg.jpg

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33 minutes ago, neurogirl said:

I've caught up from a while back but seriously, look at an old post @keepercjr found. Did Becky write this? Because if Gary wrote this in 2014 then I fear a Flowers for Algernon situation. Which is what Gary's writings often remind me of.IMG_2020.PNG

And lastly, I know it's not IT BIBLE, the KJB, but I found a Bible more on Gary's level:

DOJLrEgU8AAp3zg.jpg

All thisnto day I don’t know how to snip but I do love Flowers for algernon!!

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2 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

I would pay a good 10USD to learn Gary's ex-wife's story. I'd pay more than that to help her get custody of those poor kids, if she isn't somehow in an even worse position than him.

Yeah, the fact that Bro Ween has custody horrifies me. All the scenarios I've imagined have been awful.

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13 minutes ago, General Jinjur said:

Yeah, the fact that Bro Ween has custody horrifies me. All the scenarios I've imagined have been awful.

The most terrible to me also seems terribly likely:

That she is/was a member of a community just as crazy as Bro Gary (I mean, she did think he was marriage material)

That her community has persuaded her that her "fornication" makes her completely unfit to have custody of her children (esp. true if she cheated on Bro Gary with a woman) and

That she voluntarily signed a custody agreement giving Bro Gary just about all the rights to the kids

This happens more often than you would think.  And it can be very hard to go back on a custody agreement if you voluntarily sign yourself out of the picture.  She might be a wonderful mother who just couldn't deal with Bro Gary's ween anymore and is being emotionally and spiritually abused by her community.  

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10 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

ghaw11.PNG.6162d1c02fba4b4dd7c66228a757d1c5.PNG

Ok folks, just a reminder that with God all things or possibly. :cool:

Ok folks, every time I pop in here to see what the Ween man is up to I marvel all over again that this can be real. 

How can he go from the post neurogirl posted to the above? How can anyone post this? And not just a couple crazy typos, but complete gibberish every time he posts? 

Edited by Anonymousguest
Gibberish
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