Dillards 44: Still Pretending to Missionary to College Students

[Palimpsest]

@singsingsing, it is so incredibly sad.  It was a horrible time in history.

I did search, and then stopped searching because of what I found out.  My birth mother (and there are only two possible candidates with her rather unusual name) was either 13 or 15 when I was born. 

I hope she was able to leave the trauma behind her and go on to live a long and happy life.  There is no way that I want her to revisit the trauma just because of my needs or wants.

She was promised confidentiality.  I respect that.  My rights were screwed.  If one other physician looks at me and asks "Why don't you know your family medical history? So you are adopted.  Didn't you even search?"  I will scream, as well as give them a lesson on sealed adoption records and fire their rotten behinds.

What I did do was to leave a letter in a repository in the UK for adopted children and birth mothers for my birth mother - that she can find if she ever searches for me.  Basically: "I'm OK, and I understand.  Here's my contact info if you want it."

My very young birth mother cared enough to give me a name (one that was promptly changed by my adoptive parents).  Whatever happened to her - I was not Baby Girl X.  She cared enough to gave me a name.   That is meaningful, I think.

 

[BadMurphy]

4 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

@Palimpsest Who is the rage inducing woman you mentioned in the last thread? Ugh, ever since learning about the truth behind orphanages from Lumos (J.K. Rowling's non-profit) hearing about voluntourists at orphanages makes me ragey. Child trafficking, termination of parental rights without parental knowledge....horrible stuff. And these types of people keep that "industry" going.

If Jenelle Evans of Teen Mom 2 fame can get her medical assistants degree, anyone can. That said, she's not using it and I don't know if she even tried. I can't imagine a doctor's office or hospital hiring someone with a long rap sheet and history of drug abuse...

Jenelle didn't get a degree, she got a medical assisting certificate and she failed the state exam anyway.

[cascarones]

@Palimpsest I think it matters a lot that she gave you a name.

My cousin became a mom at 15, abortion was never on the table, but there were serious discussions on if she wanted to put the baby up for adoption she could come to live with my family (several states away) and "nobody back home would know". Well, know for sure, there'd still probably be rumors. It's my fundie light family, in which another cousin wasn't told she was really her eldest sister's child until well into her teens when older sister had married and had a family. Someone got really annoyed with her and spilled the beans. Purity culture creates all sorts of messed up situations to present the perfect Christian family front.

All in all, it was an incredibly hard situation for my cousin as a young mum and while she eventually chose to keep her child since it got out at school, it's been a hard road. She's wondered and wondered if she made the right choice, if her sweet boy wouldn't have been better off with adults prepared to love and nurture a child, adults with means to give him opportunities she can't. 

 Adoption is a wonderful and complex way of building families, I really admire those with the hearts to adopt or foster. It's something we're deeply considering doing sooner rather than later given Mr.C's company is extremely pro adoption and will pay the legal fees up to the same amount they cover infertility treatments with the same parental benefits. I haven't seen other companies be that inclusive and we won't be here forever. We just want to be really thorough in our research and spend time getting to know it from the human perspective of adoptive parents and children.

[HarryPotterFan]

2 hours ago, HermioneSparrow said:

Juhnelle failed her certification exam and never tried again, I think she would have to redo school, correct me if I'm wrong. You're right though, if Jenelle did it Jilly Muffin can.

 

P.S. I WANNA KNOW ABOUT LUMOS!

I saw your avatar and was momentarily confused, "Hey! That's not me! I didn't post that!" Then I remembered whoops, I'm not actually Hermione no matter how many times I dress up like her.

I'm not surprised that she failed. I remember her saying she wanted to be a surgery assistant. Never going to happen. 

Lumos is an awesome organization, I need to donate now that I have a job. J.K. Rowling started it after reading a newspaper article about orphanges and institutionalization of children. The goal of the organization is to end institutionalization and reunite families.

Website: http://wearelumos.org/

Introductory video on the topic: 

 

[samurai_sarah]

1 minute ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I saw your avatar and was momentarily confused, "Hey! That's not me! I didn't post that!" Then I remembered whoops, I'm not actually Hermione no matter how many times I dress up like her.

(snip)

You aren't? Another illusion shattered.

[JordynDarby5]

3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Unlike Jill, I never thought Jana was particularly devoted to the idea of being a midwife.  And if she is, why didn't she take the written test like Jill, or show any signs of finishing the training with someone else and getting certified.

I never thought Jana was serious either. She never acted like she wanted to do it but had to go along with it.  

[SapphireSlytherin]

4 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I will! I recently read a story about an American family who discovered that the orphanage they adopted their child from tricked her bio mom, and that the child's bio mom had no idea she terminated her parental rights (there was no concept of this in her culture). So the adoptive parents found the bio mom, terminated their parental rights, and reunited them. It was heartbreaking for all involved, but they felt compassion for the bio mom and thought it was for the best. They keep in ouch. I should see if I can find it.

I read that story too. And there was another child ALSO stolen in Africa and adopted by a family in the USA, that the first family found. BOTH families gave their girls back to their mothers. Both girls actually LIVE in the same village. Neither mother realized that they were literally giving their children away - and neither girl was actually IN THE ORPHANAGE when the "adoption company" called the adoptive parents and said, "We have a daughter for you, and this is her name." It was DAYS later before they "procured" the girl from her mother.

That said - there are dozens.... if not HUNDREDS... of children adopted from this "agency" still the USA. Letters were sent to the adoptive parents, but none of them (at the time the article was written) had contacted the attorneys handling the case against the "agency."

[KelseyAnn]

If you really wanna have a bad day, google Romanian orphanages. To this day, they are dreadful places. 

[HarryPotterFan]

@SapphireSlytherin I found the article!

It also gets into the investigation of European Adoption Consultants, the "adoption agency," which is thankfully no longer running. Apparently they placed more than 2,000 children.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/12/health/uganda-adoptions-investigation-ac360/index.html

There is also another one, written by the adoptive mother, Jessica Davis. She talks about how she figured out something was fishy with the adoption. Stories Namata, the little girl, told didn't match up with what the "orphanage" told them. Jessica says she loves and misses Namata and seeing updates of her with her family and happy brings comfort. And she wants to use her privilege to bring awareness to and stop child trafficking. http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/13/opinions/adoption-uganda-opinion-davis/index.html?sr=twCNN101417adoption-uganda-opinion-davis1040AMStoryGal

 

5 minutes ago, KelseyAnn said:

If you really wanna have a bad day, google Romanian orphanages. To this day, they are dreadful places. 

I can imagine...same with Russian orphanages. I have a friend who was adopted (by shitty people) from one of those.

[Fjrocks]

   I recently volunteered for the first time with a local church that goes downtown and serves a big meal to the homeless every Sunday. One of their regular volunteers looked very familiar, but in his baseball cap and hoodie I couldn't place him for the life of me.  

     As I was passing through the back kitchen area, I glanced at the sign in sheet, my mouth dropped and it clicked. He is a major congressional star in our state. He is considered a top contender for governor. This is not even his religious affiliation.   Here he was, with no news crews, no fanfare and no tasteless photo ops plastered on his social media (I checked.)  I am positive that 99.99% of our state has no idea he does this every weekend.

   That. That is how you serve. Not this "look at me and give me money" parade the Dillards do. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

4 minutes ago, Fjrocks said:

Not this "look at me and give me money" parade the Dillards do. 

I swear I read "the dildos do."

[HarryPotterFan]

18 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I swear I read "the dildos do."

Dildos do way more for people than the Dillards!

This is also timely because Twilight dildos were brought up in another thread yesterday (by me...)

[HarleyQuinn]

What a perfect "I hate my parents" look.  

[Eternalbluepearl]

10 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

What a perfect "I hate my parents" look.  

Is that the famous mustard sweater? The boys could not be more over Jill and Derick's nonsense. 

[HarleyQuinn]

The best part of these photos is after I scrolled past them on Tumblr, I came across another post that said "With the Duggars stance on homosexuality I'm surprised they let Jill marry such a massive twat." 

looooooooooooooooooooooooooool

[evolutionbaby]

3 hours ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

Is that the famous mustard sweater? The boys could not be more over Jill and Derick's nonsense. 

No, it's her new (to her) Pumpkin Spice cardigan. 

[cascarones]

Do the Duggars take an abnormal amount of kissing photos? I'm used to only seeing smoochie photos between couples related to engagements, weddings and maybe anniversaries. Even from the few cringe worthy PDA/instagram obsessed couples I know. Each to their own, I'm just curious if they're within social norms and maybe my friend group is just more on the private side.

[acheronbeach]

26 minutes ago, cascarones said:

Do the Duggars take an abnormal amount of kissing photos? I'm used to only seeing smoochie photos between couples related to engagements, weddings and maybe anniversaries. Even from the few cringe worthy PDA/instagram obsessed couples I know. Each to their own, I'm just curious if they're within social norms and maybe my friend group is just more on the private side.

This sort of OTT PDA pic was popular amongst my friends when they were sixteen or seventeen.  Then they grew up and stopped being attention whores.

[SapphireSlytherin]

What I find saddest of all these photos is the venue. They're on the University of Arkansas campus, taking family photos. Which is what ALUMNI do (occasionally). And poor Muffy won't ever know the thrill of buying (too expensive) books and walking across campus from her dorm to her senior-level physics class. Or even her remedial English or math class. 

[nst]

3 hours ago, cascarones said:

Do the Duggars take an abnormal amount of kissing photos? I'm used to only seeing smoochie photos between couples related to engagements, weddings and maybe anniversaries. Even from the few cringe worthy PDA/instagram obsessed couples I know. 

I would say it's a Derick and Jill thing.  Ben and Jessa never do it.  The others who knows. 

 

[Fjrocks]

34 minutes ago, nst said:

I would say it's a Derick and Jill thing.  Ben and Jessa never do it.  The others who knows. 

 

  @nst I respect you so much as a poster but look at your avatar. 

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

They look like negligent parents in this photo. Making out while the boys sit there being bored. Never mind the two blessings that are already here, time to work on #3. I guess Jill learned from her parents.

[Lurker]

I think the Duggars are really afraid of permanent cancellation of Counting On.  They may be willing to work a bit on their image with a real PR firm.

Jill and Derrick look to be styled and dressed for a photo shoot.  Their hair is combed, they look clean and fresh, they are wearing some fall colors to harmonize with the campus landscaping.   They usually look like a hot mess so these photos seem to me to be part of a new image for them.  It’s all in vain as long a Derrick keeps tweeting, but these photos are step one in image redemption.

Mchelle’s birthday message to Spurge and anniversary to JinJer were a step above her usual godly twaddle.  She may have outsourced the message writing.

Jessa has been good at defining her brand on her own, Jinger is showing herself as separated from the Gothard approved vision of womanhood.   

Joy is holding the details of her pregnancy close, no gender reveal or due date, the better to get some magazine space for the birth.

[singsingsing]

Guys, of all the things to critique Derick and Jill for, I really can't snark on them for this. It's a family portrait session involving a photo of them kissing. I've seen the same exact pose from countless secular young families. The photographer was probably the one who suggested it. 

[nst]

1 hour ago, Fjrocks said:

  @nst I respect you so much as a poster but look at your avatar. 

your welcome  EDITED

actually I am wrong - when they posted pregnancy photos they were kissing 

moving along 

how about the weather....does Jill like the cold....