Safe at Home (Arndts) 3: No penguins were harmed in the making of this thread

[Howl]

3 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

Those sons are not bad looking. They are not my type but could definitely be another fundie's. WHY are they all at home? The Maxwells make their adult sons leave the nest right?  Why would every 13 of the sons choose to live with mom and dad and not go out and be independent or get married?

The question for the ages.  We've spilled gallons of digital ink on reams of digital pages looking for the answer.  Sleepless nights, endless speculation about how Rick and Cathy have pulled it off.  Maybe it has something to do with Rick throwing a wash cloth into a bathtub on the second floor.  And that doesn't even touch the penguin thing.  Seriously, nobody knows. 

[Emilycharlotte]

Wash cloth? Bathtub? 

I'd like to hear more about that one, if you have the time.

This family baffles me. I really can't come up with an explanation that completely makes sense. 

[JenniferJuniper]

1 hour ago, Emilycharlotte said:

Wash cloth? Bathtub? 

I'd like to hear more about that one, if you have the time.

"Tossing wash clothes" refers to a podcast or post in which Rick told about his youth when he was having trouble finding a Godly girl.  In frustration one night he tossed his towel into the tub and said, "I give it to you Jesus!" and Jesus responded by introducing him to Cathy shortly thereafter. 

Young man, frustration, wash clothes...well, it does evoke imagery of something I'd rather not think about.

Apparently the ritual only works for Rick though, unless none of his 13 sons have thought yet to give it a try.  Or they have and Jesus just doesn't want to respond to their frustration.

Still can't suss out that pumpkin in the tub though.

[lilith]

The Bathing of The Pumpkin has me both baffled and giggling.

[Elegant Mess]

2 hours ago, Emilycharlotte said:

This family baffles me. I really can't come up with an explanation that completely makes sense. 

Don't worry.  I've been following this family off and on for over 15 years, and they still baffle me!

[Jana814]

I have been following them ever since they were on the Montel Williams show back in middle 2000's (they already had their 14 children). 

[GreyhoundFan]

Like everyone else, that trailer had me laughing. I was hoping that the dog (at about 1:07) would pee on Rick's leg.

[FeministShrew]

19 hours ago, JenniferJuniper said:

Apparently the ritual only works for Rick though, unless none of his 13 sons have thought yet to give it a try.  Or they have and Jesus just doesn't want to respond to their frustration.

 

Maybe the boys aren't allowed to have washcloths, or access to a bathtub (stall showers only), lest they, too, perform the Mystic Ritual of the Washcloth and are granted a white shorts-wearing Godly Maiden of their very own.
 

[scoutsadie]

For those of you who don't follow the Maxwells (their subforum is called "Maxhell"), a clever Maxwell brother/groomsman recently used a drone to deliver the bride's wedding ring during the ceremony...many of us reading the thread immediately thought, "Arndts!" (No penguins were involved, however.)

On 1/7/2018 at 11:19 AM, luv2laugh said:

With some of them in their late 30s, I think they would make a very good match for Sarah Maxwell, Jana Duggar, Esther Staddon, and the Mally sisters...

Weren't the Arndts Catholic at some point? Even having left the RC church, I suspect that would rule them out as Maxwell or Duggar prospects.

[MamaJunebug]

On 1/7/2018 at 12:14 PM, FeministShrew said:

Someone please make up a voice-over narration for the trailer! I wish I were tech-savvy enough to add dialogue & extra footage, ala "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist."

  Hide contents

 

 

You —you feminist shrew! I just watched that and almost FELL off my barstool!!!

ok, it was a counter stool and I was in my kitchen, but henceforth, add an alert, like, “WARNING: the following is SO ridiculous that old women with insect related usernames are likely to fall over laughing!”

I could MST3K that trailer with one equally idiotic friend, a computer operator and a soft place to FALL.

Every time there’s beautiful vista, soothing or soaring music starts and a warm voice says, “Vermont! Come to where the leaves are red / snow is pure —“ and the voice gets increasingly perturbed as the shots butt-edit into views of Rick or Cathy...

Forget RIck bathing the pumpkin — what about him polishing it between his legs while balanced on the bathtub?

Every time there’s a fall, a male voice should shout “Oh, frizzm-frazzm!” or some other squeaky clean exclamation 

With Cathy running to third base, we hear on a stadium loudspeaker: “Attention, emergency at 3rd base - is there a checked picnic tablecloth in the house?”

We could do this, y’all.

But the most intriguing thing is from 1/1/2018 Dad’s Corner (of the Padded room) is that the Arenots are opening a portrait studio IN THEIR HOUSE. In a 30 x by 20-something room in the east wing! Who needs their portraits taken?  I will Drive you there!!!!!

These people, I have got to see, and I’d as soon do it under a modicum of control over the situation, instead of happening upon them at Lotawata Creek or sonebother innocent, unsuspecting place we both patronize. 

[MamaJunebug]

3 hours ago, scoutsadie said:

For those of you who don't follow the Maxwells (their subforum is called "Maxhell"), a clever Maxwell brother/groomsman recently used a drone to deliver the bride's wedding ring during the ceremony...many of us reading the thread immediately thought, "Arndts!" (No penguins were involved, however.)

Weren't the Arndts Catholic at some point? Even having left the RC church, I suspect that would rule them out as Maxwell or Duggar prospects.

They still speak in tongues, I suspect, as a recent-ish feature on their blog involves an individual who survived an attack because of that ability.  Patriarch Maxwell would not like.

[CancerBomb]

I'm in my 20's and still live with my parents on breaks because of practicality and also because I have serious medical issues that make it impossible for me to live alone (like I have my own room just I can't have my own house). I also collect stuffed animals. However, I am chomping at the bit to move out, and I do a lot of things on my own. Don't these people ever want privacy?

[QuiverFullofBooks]

I fell down the Arndt rabbit hole for the first time the other day. It’s simultaneously boringly normal and utterly bizarre. Should I read the old threads? I gather that not much happens in their lives. Is that the fascination? Are the videos snark-worthy? BEC: I hate Cathy’s shiny lip gloss. Is it possible that it’s still 1983 in their world? 

[lilith]

On 09/01/2018 at 11:04 AM, CancerBomb said:

I'm in my 20's and still live with my parents on breaks because of practicality and also because I have serious medical issues that make it impossible for me to live alone (like I have my own room just I can't have my own house). I also collect stuffed animals. However, I am chomping at the bit to move out, and I do a lot of things on my own. Don't these people ever want privacy?

But do you sleep in bunk beds in a room you share with your dozen siblings, celebrate your birthday in your parents bed and have an unhealthy interest in penguins and (in the past) ducks? And how tall are your Lego towers and how short are your shorts? These are matters of vital importance.

[Carm_88]

Adding to @lilith said @CancerBomb do you: 

- Make a special day before your birthday song and dance that you perform for your whole family?

- Make videos about your life and do things in them like ohhhh pretend to be sports commentators for ping pong? 

- Talk to your family on a website like the Arndts used to do on the old FamTeam website?

-Have a family movie project that brings you to spend endless hours filming? 

[Palimpsest]

On 1/5/2018 at 8:19 PM, Cactus said:

I can't tell if this is some kind of extended advert for their home region, a bizarre retelling of Pilgrim's Progress, or a softball buddy film gone horribly, horribly wrong.

All of the above.

On 1/6/2018 at 12:08 PM, Gobsmacked said:

The country side is beautiful though. It could be a trailer selling holidays  through out the year for the tourist board. 

They filmed lot of the winter scenes Maine, IIRC.  The vineyard scenes are somewhere else (CA maybe), and there are some scenes shot in their yard.  I covet their duck pond.

On 1/7/2018 at 12:22 PM, JenniferJuniper said:

Also curious is the bubble bath given to the pumpkin.  That's something I've not seen before....

It wasn't the bubble bath that made me fall off my chair.  It was the toweling dry of said pumpkin between someone's legs.  I quite thought it involved a very large wash cloth and was waiting for the toss!

[Howl]

25 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

I covet their duck pond.

Didn't we have thread drift on duck penises at some point?  

[Palimpsest]

15 minutes ago, Howl said:

Didn't we have thread drift on duck penises at some point?  

Please don't remind me.  I'm still traumatized by the corkscrew penis.  

Clarification: I covet the pond.  The Arndts can keep the ducks!

[HereticHick]

On 1/7/2018 at 7:32 PM, Elegant Mess said:

Don't worry.  I've been following this family off and on for over 15 years, and they still baffle me!

And surely all their neighbors talk about them as well!!

"Mildred, why won't those Arndt boys leave home?"

The Arndt homestead is probably one of those houses that trick-or-treating kids dare each other to visit on Halloween.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

33 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Please don't remind me.  I'm still traumatized by the corkscrew penis. 

Did you cover the decoy vagina as well?  I can't believe I missed duck sex drift. 

I covet their entire property, but the one episode where the pond had that sink hole and they had to go down and fill it in so it wouldn't drain out made me nope out of coveting the man made pond.

If they hadn't seen that in time, and I wouldn't (what with not having a zillion kids around to spot it) the thought of all of that water soaking into the surrounding ground.

I have no idea if that's a big deal or not, but I imagined squishy ground for decades.  (I've never lived on property with a pond, does it show?)

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

- Make videos about your life and do things in them like ohhhh pretend to be sports commentators for ping pong? 

I covet this.  I know it's silly, but having kids who would even play a game like that much less be so playful about it made me a teensy bit jealous.

Don't get me wrong, my boys love each other and don't fight...but they aren't buddies like that.  And neither one of them would ever consider the humor to be worth the inconvenience of going upstairs and putting on a tie for a gag.

When the Arndt's are genuinely playful it makes me wish I had that either growing up or with my own kids.  But there are times there is an edge behind the playfulness with some of them that makes me uncomfortable.  

I guess it's not a surprise they all seem close due to the isolation.  Maybe my boys would hang out together too if I never sent them to school, made them work together as adults, and they didn't have friends outside the family.

Who am I kidding?  They'd have mutinied before puberty! 

[Palimpsest]

2 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I can't believe I missed duck sex drift. 

@Howl probably knows where it was, I can't remember.    There was a video that should have had a trigger warning!

It may not have been the Arndts but on a Botkin thread.  The Duck Biologist thing.

[Briefly]

On 1/7/2018 at 8:26 AM, WiseGirl said:

A lot of baseball, have they ever heard of "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"? Pretty sure the baseball scenes would disappear if they had.

One of the best songs ever!

[Howl]

3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

It may not have been the Arndts but on a Botkin thread.  The Duck Biologist thing.

Why yes, yes it was.  I think the Arndts just watched their ducks, they like to watch.  Maybe that's their secret?

Anyway, the duck sex thread drift IS on a Botkin thread here.  There are two videos on that page. One is True Facts About the Duck near the top and you'll have to keep scrolling down to Isabella Rosellini's SEDUCE ME: Duck, which, trust me, really is Green Porn and if you stick around, the dolphin one is just as weird; both are bizarrely charming.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

If I lived in Vermont I would definitely go to their home studio and get family pictures taken. I love their photography and I bet they are very nice. Plus I would be interested in interacting with them to get a better feel of some of their personalities. 

But it's probably best I live too far away because I have a feeling I would actually like some of them and then I would feel bad snarking on them. 

[AnywhereButHere]

On ‎1‎/‎9‎/‎2018 at 7:32 PM, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I fell down the Arndt rabbit hole for the first time the other day. It’s simultaneously boringly normal and utterly bizarre. Should I read the old threads? I gather that not much happens in their lives. Is that the fascination? Are the videos snark-worthy? BEC: I hate Cathy’s shiny lip gloss. Is it possible that it’s still 1983 in their world? 

Every time I think of the Arndts, I think of this quote from Stephen King (odd combination - I know)

Quote

“The 3 types of terror: The Gross-out: the sight of a severed head tumbling down a flight of stairs, it's when the lights go out and something green and slimy splatters against your arm. The Horror: the unnatural, spiders the size of bears, the dead waking up and walking around, it's when the lights go out and something with claws grabs you by the arm. And the last and worse one: Terror, when you come home and notice everything you own had been taken away and replaced by an exact substitute. It's when the lights go out and you feel something behind you, you hear it, you feel its breath against your ear, but when you turn around, there's nothing there...”

It's his definition of terror. Everything is exactly as it should be - but it's not, and you have no idea where the discord is. It's just there.

And hey, you might be on to something with the idea that they're stuck in the 80s. Maybe they're existing in a parallel dimension. Along side us - but not really with us. Hmmmm.... As a theory, it works as much as anything does with them!