Maxwell 13: And Another One Bites the Dust - John is Engaged

[FloraDoraDolly]

I agree that Chelsy and John are highly unlikely to quit being fundies. However, I can envision some improvements:

1. They will probably join a real church and meet other young couples/families.

2. Because they're both pushing 30, their quiver won't be too full. Maybe four or five kids at the most.

3. Yes, their kids will be homeschooled, but they'll have a more varied and pleasant educational experience compared to the workbooks-only approach that Teri recommends. Their kids might even get to go on an occasional field trip with other fundie kids who aren't related to them. If Chelsy really does read Nicholas Sparks, this means her kids may get to read at least some mainstream, non-fundie books. (Although they will read the Moody books, too.)

4. There will be a lot of music in their lives. No one will have to give up his/her favorite instrument because "it's becoming an idol." John may finally get to learn the words to "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

5. The food will be better.

6. The female children will get to wear trendier modest clothes like Calia's and the ABC girls' instead of frumpers and prairie dresses (although they might have a few of those, too).

7. They'll go on vacations to places other than Colorado.

[anniebgood]

I guess my reply to the post didn't make the cut either. Perhaps it was December is a great month to get married in. Or perhaps the fact that I used both my last names in the last name part. Can't have a woman who uses her maiden name as well as her married name, can we?

Steve! Stop editing the posts. It's rude and very unChristian to alter peoples comments. There was nothing wrong with fun-loving! Just because your family isn't, doesn't mean Chelsy can't be. Take that huge log out of your eye, it might make you see things more clearly. 

[Ozlsn]

13 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Maxwells part 14: Editing out Fun-Loving

Maxwells part 14: Editing out Fun.

[SolomonFundy]

25 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

Maxwells part 14: Editing out Fun.

Maxwells Part 14: Editing out F*n.

[Alicepooh]

New post is up on John's purchase of a house debt-free.

They had a great time of prayer and blessing, sweet Anna Marie included. The pictures must have been taken a little while ago, as her bump doesn't look that big yet.

We should probably start betting on just how far the house is from Steve's compund. Just across the street? Half a block away? Next door?

[LurkerOverThePond]

Well, that house surely is in need of renovation. Actually, I'm quite interested to see how it turns out. Is that a living room with the fireplace and windows high up near the ceiling? If so, that is one dark and depressing living room - perfect for a Maxwell!

And of course it's Stevus who seems to be leading their prayer and not the new house owner himself.

[terranova]

I'm having a great time browing google street view around Maxhell. I love that all the houses are pretty much mirror images of each other.

[nastyhobbitses]

1. Oy, that house needs work. I can see why John could buy it outright.

2. It's so telling to see the contrast between the engagement photos the Bontragers put up and the ones the Maxwells put up. On the Bontragers' blog, they actually look like a couple in love. In Maxhell, they look like bickering siblings doing a family Christmas card picture.

[nomoxian]

28 minutes ago, terranova said:

I'm having a great time browing google street view around Maxhell.

I read "browing" (I assume you meant "browsing") as browning, which would be Steves favourite colour, if he weren't afraid about brown becoming an idol.

[ophelia]

Yes, that house needs some work. But I think with a little TLC it can turn into a cozy home.

Damn. John is hot. I just can't get over it.

[nomoxian]

6 minutes ago, ophelia said:

Damn. John is hot. I just can't get over it.

I'm surprised such a good looking son came from the seed of Stevehova.

HEY STEVE - Please don't use this comment as ammo to accuse your wife of cheating on you. She has to put up with enough of your bullshit.

[terranova]

Ok, two hours of brow(s)ing street view later and I can confirm, John and Chelsy are moving 0.3 of a mile from Maxhell central.

[Captain Obvious]

17 minutes ago, terranova said:

Ok, two hours of brow(s)ing street view later and I can confirm, John and Chelsy are moving 0.3 of a mile from Maxhell central.

We already found the house back in September: 

I'm enjoying how much that must have pissed Steve off. 

God that whole post also pisses me off, as well. There's far more enthusiasm in the house purchase announcement than there was in the engagement announcement. Way to display your priorities, alleged Christians.

And I know that John bought the place in July, before his engagement, but it really bothers me that Chelsy isn't there. That house was surely bought with the intention of John and Chelsy to live in it, but she didn't even get a say. 

At least she's having a say in how it's decorated this time, but.... damn...

 

[Captain Obvious]

Also reading the old posts again, and here's Palimpsest with her double wedding prediction.

Well I guess there's still a chance of this as well. Could definitely see Jesse with Allison. 

[terranova]

14 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

We already found the house back in September: 

I'm enjoying how much that must have pissed Steve off. 

God that whole post also pisses me off, as well. There's far more enthusiasm in the house purchase announcement than there was in the engagement announcement. Way to display your priorities, alleged Christians.

And I know that John bought the place in July, before his engagement, but it really bothers me that Chelsy isn't there. That house was surely bought with the intention of John and Chelsy to live in it, but she didn't even get a say. 

At least she's having a say in how it's decorated this time, but.... damn...

 

Ah I missed that.

The photos on the agent's website show the place in an even worse state then the ones on the blog. I feel sorry for John's siblings who undoubtedly are being used as slave labour to fix the place up.

[lilith]

" After over a year of looking, searching, and praying, this one suddenly appeared. Wow! All the pieces came together, and John purchased it. It was an exciting day for sure.".

Bullshit.

After waiting for a home to be repossessed within an acceptable distance from Maxhell HQ, John finally found a house he could afford to buy outright, thereby allowing him to propose to Chelsy and take steps towards sanctifying his lust for her slutty exposed knees.

[Captain Obvious]

1 minute ago, terranova said:

Ah I missed that.

The photos on the agent's website show the place in an even worse state then the ones on the blog. I feel sorry for John's siblings who undoubtedly are being used as slave labour to fix the place up.

Yeah well I hope Steve is getting off his arse and helping out at least. But maybe since his schedule is filled up with fasting, hand-wringing, editing blog comments and counting his own money, he doesn't have time. 

[lilith]

1 minute ago, Captain Obvious said:

Yeah well I hope Steve is getting off his arse and helping out at least. But maybe since his schedule is filled up with fasting, hand-wringing, editing blog comments and counting his own money, he doesn't have time. 

So John didn't broker the sale with his real estate license?

[Alicepooh]

2 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

Well, that house surely is in need of renovation. Actually, I'm quite interested to see how it turns out. Is that a living room with the fireplace and windows high up near the ceiling? If so, that is one dark and depressing living room - perfect for a Maxwell!

And of course it's Stevus who seems to be leading their prayer and not the new house owner himself.

I was wondering about the same thing: if that's the living room, it's very very small, with fireplace and all.

[johnhugh]

5 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

Yeah well I hope Steve is getting off his arse and helping out at least. But maybe since his schedule is filled up with fasting, hand-wringing, editing blog comments and counting his own money, he doesn't have time. 

And blowing his cow horn - re his latest silly dads email.

49 minutes ago, ophelia said:

Damn. John is hot. I just can't get over it.

Nor can his sister in law...

[Captain Obvious]

7 minutes ago, johnhugh said:

And blowing his cow horn - re his latest silly dads email.

JFC - I would literally kill anyone who tried that shit with me on a regular basis. Sure, my husband occasionally likes to wake me up by impersonating Tony Abbott loudly so I have to punch him... but a motherfucking cow horn?

Shit, that's the first time I have ever written or said MF. Steve sure does bring out the swears in me.

P.S. Johnhugh I was randomly looking through some old Tits2 posts and I saw one where you managed to get a Neighbours reference into the comments. Top work, that. 

I think the key is to go with pop culture references they'll never get. 

 

 

[lilith]

Steve seems to be confining divorce in this recent corner, or at least implying it's not at pernicious as debt:

"School debt is more permanent than marriage. You can divorce and lose a spouse, but even bankruptcy doesn’t get rid of school debt. Few (even believers) seem to take their debt seriously."

wtf Steve?

[johnhugh]

18 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

JFC - I would literally kill anyone who tried that shit with me on a regular basis. Sure, my husband occasionally likes to wake me up by impersonating Tony Abbott loudly so I have to punch him... but a motherfucking cow horn?

Shit, that's the first time I have ever written or said MF. Steve sure does bring out the swears in me.

P.S. Johnhugh I was randomly looking through some old Tits2 posts and I saw one where you managed to get a Neighbours reference into the comments. Top work, that. 

I think the key is to go with pop culture references they'll never get. 

 

 

Those were the days..... he is onto me these days. Hi Stevie!!1!

Without wanting to blow my own cow horn, my favourites were at Mother’s Day when Marge S said how her and sisters Paty and Selma went to Moes for lunch or when Tom of Finland commented on how he too would like a basement like chez Maxwell to use as a playroom.

[Melissa1977]

I just can't get why are Maxwells so upset about the engagement. Chelsy is able to write FIVE posts about LAUNDRY!!! Isn't it a proof of True Maxwellian Faith?

Anyway, John has shown a bit personality and a bit freedom, he has travelled alone and tried some business/jobs out of the compound. Probably he has met a lot of fundie girls so he's not marrying blindy. So despite I'm 100% sure he will remain ultra-fundie, his life with Chelsy will be way more exciting and enjoyable than his sibling's life.

I've been reading Chelsy's blog. I hope her age and experiences help her maintain her spark and her own interests. They seem truly in love and the fact they are not extremelly young may be good for building their relationship. But living in a boring neighborhood, far from her family, without friends nor a job nor social activity must be hard for someone like her. Good luck Chelsy!

[JermajestyDuggar]

Those pictures are definitely taken right after he bought it in a July. NRAnna has a tiny bump and the boys are in shorts and sandals. 

We talked about this before but the house seems rather small. Although I don't think the sq footage listed included the garage and work space. So that could be converted into bedrooms in a few years if they have a bunch of kids in rapid succession. I'm not a fan of the split level entry but John needed a home within a mile of Maxhell. I believe we said it was 0.7 of a mile. Notice who is missing yet again. Joe and Elissa really aren't around the family as much as the other two married families. Let's hope john does the same. 

I bet John consulted Chelsy on home decisions even when she wasn't there. It gives them an excuse to constantly text and talk on the phone and Chelsy is such a planner that she can't stay out of it. I'm sure they will make the house really nice. Hopefully they will actually follow through and show us some after pictures.