Sierra - Strawberries, Duggars, Strawberries

[SapphireSlytherin]

My WTF is at the student's reaction - not your efforts to make sure the wallet went to the right person. Shitballs abound...

[adidas]

I honestly didn’t think I was being unreasonable- but they had a very different opinion. Oh well. My conscience is clear - I tried to do the right thing. 

It says more about them than it does about me, IMO. 

[FecundFundieFundus]

Aw her son looks so cute in his glasses. And I love that they encourage their children to acknowledge their fear and work through it.

[HarryPotterFan]

On 8/23/2018 at 7:36 AM, nvmbr02 said:

I have had my sunglass stolen twice. Once at a little shop in Venice when my oldest was a baby and I was distracted and another time at a local supermarket when I placed them on top of my reusable bags while looking at produce. A lot of theft here and a lot of shoplifting in the supermarkets so I usually am careful and keep my sunglasses on my head and my wristlet/wallet attached to my wrist and phone in my pocket for that reason.

I do have a good story to share. While we were living in Italy we were preparing to go on vacation and needed our passports along with some cash. While we were running errands we decided to stop at the local castle to grab some pictures of our daughter since she was looking especially cute that day. While we were leaving I put the baby in her carseat and we started off. Another car in the parking lot started honking and waving at us. We thought they were just being friendly and waved back. About an hour later I realized my purse was missing. I had around 2 thousand euros in my wallet along with all of our passports and we were supposed to be on a plane the next evening. Shortly after we got home my husband got a call from his supervisor that my purse was on base. Turns out I had put the purse on the roof of the car (something I didn't usually do) and the family in the car took it to the local police department. They saw the military ID inside and turned it into base security forces who then looked up my husband and contacted his shop. Thankfully all the money was inside, completely untouched. I will always be grateful for that. I have since found a few wallets in shopping carts and one phone and I have always turned them right in, without even looking inside. I have no idea if they made it back to their owner's but I sure hope so. 

I had my sunglasses stolen a few months ago. I was volunteering at a rec league sports ball tournament and very sleep deprived. I put the sunglasses on the top of my head and then must have knocked them off when I put on a sweatshirt. Or the wind blew them off my head, the glasses were very light weight. And expensive. And I was running on like 3 or 4 hours of sleep. They never got turned into the lost in found, never found by the facility. I was so pissed (still am, I haven’t gotten around to replacing them). Of course a bunch of other sunglasses were turned in. But mine weren’t. They were Maui Jim’s. I was super paranoid and kept looking at everyone wearing sunglasses that looked remotely like them suspiciously.

[FecundFundieFundus]

I don't think it's stealing if you lose something

[AliceInFundyland]

2 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I had my sunglasses stolen a few months ago. I was volunteering at a rec league sports ball tournament and very sleep deprived. I put the sunglasses on the top of my head and then must have knocked them off when I put on a sweatshirt. Or the wind blew them off my head, the glasses were very light weight. And expensive. And I was running on like 3 or 4 hours of sleep. They never got turned into the lost in found, never found by the facility. I was so pissed (still am, I haven’t gotten around to replacing them). Of course a bunch of other sunglasses were turned in. But mine weren’t. They were Maui Jim’s. I was super paranoid and kept looking at everyone wearing sunglasses that looked remotely like them suspiciously.

That sucks! Were they prescription? I am so klutzy and unlucky with losing sunglasses that i won’t pay much for them unless prescription. I love them though. I prefer being “veiled” to light and other people. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

10 hours ago, FecundFundieFundus said:

I don't think it's stealing if you lose something

So, if you find a NICE pair of sunglasses or a wallet or a purse that's obviously been "left behind" (in a shopping cart, next to a park bench, etc.) or lost along a hiking trail (for example) you think the objects are fair game? 

No. That's not how that works.

[catlady]

10 hours ago, FecundFundieFundus said:

I don't think it's stealing if you lose something

Can you elaborate on this philosophy?  

So if my dog bolts and yanks the leash out of my hand, someone else can “find” him and keep him?  If I inadvertently leave my coat on a chair and walk away, it’s up for grabs?  *any* unattended item can just be picked up and kept?   I don’t agree.  The person who found @HarryPotterFan‘s sunglasses had no right to keep them.  

[Rachel333]

I mean personally I do think there's a difference between something being directly stolen and me losing something and not getting it back. That's not the same as saying that it's okay for someone else to keep anything they find.

I've lost things before and not gotten them back and it has never occurred to me to call them stolen.

[Iamtheway]

10 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

That sucks! Were they prescription? I am so klutzy and unlucky with losing sunglasses that i won’t pay much for them unless prescription. I love them though. I prefer being “veiled” to light and other people. 

I got prescription sun glasses when we were going to live in Australia. One of the first weeks we were there we rented a catamaran and went out on the river. Since I’m crap at every kind of sporty activity we tipped the catamaran and my sun glasses disapeared in the dark waters never to be found again. 

Havn’t gotten around to get new ones. But I think about it every time the sun shines.

[FecundFundieFundus]

Okay, I'm bored I'll play this game.

If I find a pair of sunglasses laid on a bench, I'd assume someone forgot them and is coming back for them. If I find a pair of sunglasses thrown into a corner indoors, I'd drop it in the lost and found. If I find sunglasses mashed into a field, I'd probably toss them like any other kind of litter. If that's "not how that works" then pick up after yourself.

If your dog runs away, I'd help you catch him. If I find a dog with tags, I'd either call the owner or bring it to the local animal shelter so they can do the reunification. If I find a stray that's malnourished and unhealthy, I'd take it to the animal shelter. If I find a stray that's unhealthy and I fall in love with it, our family has indeed been known to adopt it. 

If you leave your coat on a chair, again: lost and found. Stop leaving your shit behind and expecting others to deliver it to you if that's such a problem.

Any unattended item MIGHT be taken, that's kind of the way the world works. If you leave your stuff behind there's no guarantee someone will find it and bring it back to you. If someone finds an unattended object without a reasonable way of knowing who the owner is (like an address in a wallet, a lost and found in an office building) then I do not consider keeping it to be necessarily unethical. I've forgotten random shit TONS of places because I'm a total scatterbrain. That doesn't mean I'm a chronic victim of theft, I'm just klutzy and forgetful. Sometimes the stuff is still there, sometimes it finds a new home.

@Iamtheway That sucks!! I use those dorky sports bands to keep my glasses on when doing stuff like that (because of the aforementioned habit of forgetting my spares places when I bring them along as backup). Recently we've switched to getting our eyeglasses online. It's such a lifesaver!! Thirty-ish bucks a pair instead of two hundred bucks and another year to go before insurance will help out.

[SapphireSlytherin]

@FecundFundieFundus - Wow. Just wow. Your ethics are reprehensible. Keeping an "unhealthy stray" when it may have been missing from a loving family for a long time (and therefore malnourished or sickly) is just wrong.

Taking a jacket from the back of a chair or a pair of sunglasses left on a table is WRONG. 

If it's NOT YOURS leave it alone. Perhaps the person will come back for it. It's NOT yours to take. Period.

Good grief. I can't believe I'm even having this discussion with an adult.

[FecundFundieFundus]

Not gonna lie, this is not what I expected to be talking about on my FJ break. The universe blesses in weird, unexpected ways.

I guess I'll leave you with a few quotes. The first from my mother when I left behind an absolutely vital toy that I can no longer even remember: "If it was that important to you, you shoulda taken better care of it." The second, my grandparent kicking me while I was down: "Bet ya won't do that again, will ya?" And indeed, I learned to be careful with my belongings and not to blame others when I was careless with them. The end (of a very boring story)

Enjoy.

[catlady]

So, if Mary Smith is on her lunch break at the local coffee shop and gets a call that her daughter was just in a car accident, it’s Mary’s tough luck if she forgets to gather up her coat as she heads to the ER?  

[FecundFundieFundus]

 Where do you people live where you expect to leave random stuff around and someone will have put it aside for you? And why do you seem to think that I'm lurking around the corner, tapping my fingers together and grinning evilly while I wait for you to forget something so I can nefariously StEaL yOuR bElOnGiNgS? I literally just think that if you forget something somewhere and it's not there later, you weren't a victim of theft. If someone thinks your lost crap is abandoned crap, it's not illegal to claim it. 

For the record: I did not take HP Fan's sunglasses (and bummer ya lost em. Like I said, I do that all the time. I know the pain!) and I don't want your junk, @catlady or @SapphireSlytherin . I'm not gonna be following you around waiting for you to drop a quarter or a shoe or whatever you're afraid of. I haven't taken unclaimed property with two exceptions: I found a toy buried in sand at the beach and in middle school the secretary gave me an unclaimed hoodie from the lost and found on a cold day. I know, I'm a truly despicable person. 

[catlady]

No one is saying that one should rightfully expect someone else to find and return one’s misplaced items (other than you).  You also give the impression that you think everyone loses their posssesions out of carelessness.  And that perceived carelessness means the owner deserves to forfeit them.  Now, I know you didn't say that outright, but your collective posts take on that tone.  You don’t appear to be giving any concession to think someone might have left an item behind because they were distracted by something important.  Few people would intentionally abandon high-end sungasses, a coat, or a wallet in public.  Therefore, it is 100% reasonable to believe that the owner will return for it, so most decent people will turn it over to an appropriate party (i.e. a store manager) in anticipation of said owner claiming it.  You, on the other hand, are insisting on giving the impression that it’s fair game for taking.  I don’t live in happy lala land, but I also don’t think my locale is so dangerous that creeping marauders will grab anything not locked down.

[Rachel333]

11 minutes ago, catlady said:

No one is saying that one should rightfully expect someone else to find and return one’s misplaced items (other than you).

I mean, all she said in the first place was that there's a difference between losing something and having it stolen and then you assumed she meant that anyone can take absolutely anything unattended. You wrote,

7 hours ago, catlady said:

 *any* unattended item can just be picked up and kept?   I don’t agree

which is not at all what she said. No one is saying what you're claiming she believes.

Do people seriously disagree that losing something is not the same as having something stolen?

I feel like no one here is really that far apart in our opinions on this subject but it's getting taken to extremes.

And personally, I lose things a lot and I feel like it would be really unfair of me to expect others to be responsible for my attention issues. I also wouldn't consider myself the victim of theft if I don't get my things back because it was my fault for losing them in the first place. I also don't feel like just because I lost something means it's completely okay for someone else to take it right away, and I'm very grateful when people do return my things.

I'll return things I find as well. Just a few weeks ago I found a phone in a heavily trafficked public bathroom. I debated leaving it there in case the owner came back looking for it, but I thought it was too likely to be taken by someone else that way and so I went out of my way (despite being somewhat pressed for time) to take it to lost and found. One of the women working at the desk with the lost and found saw me the next day and said that the phone was claimed and the owner was very grateful.

[catlady]

i’m obviously not articulating my point very clearly, so i’ll give it one more shot and quit.  People lose stuff because life happens.  It is not unreasonable for one to think that strangers will refrain from keeping one’s lost stuff, whether by handing it to some manner of lost-and-found or just leaving it alone. This is not the same as expecting strangers to be responsible for it until one realizes said item has been mislaid.  Thank you, and enjoy the rest of your day.

[nvmbr02]

@HarryPotterFan Both pairs of my glasses were Maui Jim's too! The ones that were taken most recently were from Costco at least and not quite as expensive but they had the rose colored lenses and I loved them.

And was I careless for putting down my sunglasses and turning away briefly? Yes, I was. However I still don't feel that gives someone the right to take them. I don't think I have ever seen something that wasn't mine just sitting there and felt a need to take it. If no one is around I attempt to turn it in somewhere so hopefully the owner can be found. If there is a person there I generally assume that item belongs to them and depending on the situation I might ask them if it is theirs. It really isn't difficult to not take things that don't belong to you. 

[zee_four]

2 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

@FecundFundieFundus - Wow. Just wow. Your ethics are reprehensible. Keeping an "unhealthy stray" when it may have been missing from a loving family for a long time (and therefore malnourished or sickly) is just wrong.

Taking a jacket from the back of a chair or a pair of sunglasses left on a table is WRONG. 

If it's NOT YOURS leave it alone. Perhaps the person will come back for it. It's NOT yours to take. Period.

Good grief. I can't believe I'm even having this discussion with an adult.

I've kept an unhealthy stray, only after bringing her to the local animal shelter where I was told the family who's dog she was was known for neglecting her, not feeding her, brushing her, not keeping tags on her and allowing an 11 year old BLIND Jack Russel to roam the Colorado mountains where there's tons of coyotes and mountain lions and even some bears. She'd been turned into the shelter twice already. They said if the family didn't call looking for her within 2 weeks I could keep her. They did not so the animal shelter gave her blessing.

However A MONTH later one of my former supervisors/co-workers starts posting on FB how much her family misses their dog. They'd never posted about it before, never commented, never called the shelter. I didn't say anything because I knew giving her back would mean she was going to be hit by a car/die of starvation or most likely, been eaten by a large predatory animal in the mountains. I just couldn't do it. It's not like she ran away once and was cared for before then, this family had a track record of neglecting and abandoning animals and local animal control and the animal shelter had gotten involved. 

The authorities gave me their blessing and I did not give her back. She passed away naturally, well cared for, fed, and loved 11 1/2 years later. 

4 minutes ago, nvmbr02 said:

@HarryPotterFan Both pairs of my glasses were Maui Jim's too! The ones that were taken most recently were from Costco at least and not quite as expensive but they had the rose colored lenses and I loved them.

And was I careless for putting down my sunglasses and turning away briefly? Yes, I was. However I still don't feel that gives someone the right to take them. I don't think I have ever seen something that wasn't mine just sitting there and felt a need to take it. If no one is around I attempt to turn it in somewhere so hopefully the owner can be found. If there is a person there I generally assume that item belongs to them and depending on the situation I might ask them if it is theirs. It really isn't difficult to not take things that don't belong to you. 

That sucks! Maui Jims are REALLY nice. They're popular up here in our ski town.

I worked all summer when I was 13 at my uncle's ski and bike shop for a bike and pair of nice sunglasses. I left the sunglasses somewhere I forget now and when I went back they were gone never to be seen again. They were clear orange with yellow lenses (it was 2000) I thought they were the coolest. My also bright orange awesome mountain bike fell off the back of my mom's car when she picked us up from our dad's from the weekend. We were on the interstate, it got bent like an L. My brother's bikes were fine though!

[TeaELSee]

I don’t mind helping out, I return things that don’t belong to me.  I think of it as a civic duty and being a part of a community.

[Kailash]

I just try to treat others how I would like to be treated. Simple and easy. I have returned many things and had several returned to me. 

[singsingsing]

Unless you take reasonable steps to attempt to return it to its owner, taking an item you just happen to find somewhere is in fact theft. Doesn't matter if the person who left it there was careless or not. Doesn't matter if you feel like being altruistic or not. All that matters is that you take those steps to return it. Otherwise, you're stealing.

Also, there's a pretty huge difference between taking a small object (say, a pen or a t-shirt) vs. taking something like an expensive coat, a wallet or cash, which most people have no trouble understanding. If you found a quarter or even a ten dollar bill lying on the side of the road, it's no big deal to pocket it. If you found a wallet with $500 in it, you're not going to keep it just because someone was 'careless' enough to lose it - I hope. Regardless, you'd better not, or you might just find yourself charged with a crime. Because, you know... it's a crime.

[FecundFundieFundus]

Did anybody else watch Sierra's IG story? I got up to when she said "I can't even love myself in those moments" and had to turn it off. Your husband should tell you you're beautiful! He should do that without talking you into risky pregnancies that make you feel bad about your body! Gahh I wish Sierra could go to a therapist. She has so much personality and chutzpah just being smothered under the stupid church expectations

[SapphireSlytherin]

32 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Unless you take reasonable steps to attempt to return it to its owner, taking an item you just happen to find somewhere is in fact theft. Doesn't matter if the person who left it there was careless or not. Doesn't matter if you feel like being altruistic or not. All that matters is that you take those steps to return it. Otherwise, you're stealing.

Which is exactly what I was saying. 

Case in point:  a couple of years ago, DH and I were touring Springfield, Illinois, (Lincoln stuff, yall) and I left my hoodie hanging on the hook of a bathroom stall in a museum. I went back less than an hour later, and the hoodie was gone - so I went to the information desk to see if anyone had turned it in. No. Of course not. Some shitbag stole it because I *forgot* to grab it off the hook. Yeah, I made a mistake, but that gave said shitbag NO RIGHT to take it.