Josh, Anna and the Ms 15: now with Mason

[Blahblah]

3 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

Okay, let me rephrase: I prematurely judge atheists, because I have never met a non-obnoxious atheist. My sample is quite small admittedly, but you know, people are flawed and judge people prematurely. 

Um, I reckon you have probably met many, many atheists but it’s only the obnoxious ones who have made their views known to you.

There are militant hard core atheists just as there are militant hard core religious types.

There are many atheists here at FJ and we are certainly not all obnoxious (unless you deserve it of course).

#notallatheists

[SorenaJ]

17 minutes ago, laPapessaGiovanna said:

True. But as I often try to remind people the majority of Americans aren't like the whackos that make it to our news nor like the Dotard in Chief. So please try to address your fellow American FJers as the clever and sensitive people they mostly are and you'll get much nicer replies.

Must have been a southerner, we northerners make do with a half hug and two kisses on the cheeks, three if you want to be friendly and wish good luck.

When I met the Italian they gave me a big friendly hug, and when I said goodbye they kissed me once on each cheek (equally confused and awkward by that one). Do both southerners and northerners kiss on cheeks when they say goodbye? 

Well that's the thing isn't it? Stereotypes take over. And that's a shame. Are there Americans who are complete lefties, as in queer rights, ethnic minority rights, (much) higher taxes, free healthcare, free education, free childcare, pro immigration, no guns at all law, paid (at 90 % or higher of your salary) maternity leave. 

Are there Americans like that that you just don't hear about?  

[laPapessaGiovanna]

10 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

When I met the Italian they gave me a big friendly hug, and when I said goodbye they kissed me once on each cheek (equally confused and awkward by that one). Do both southerners and northerners kiss on cheeks when they say goodbye? 

Yes, we all do. To be honest there isn't much difference, but southerners tend to consider us too uptight and we tend to consider them too invasive.

10 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

Well that's the thing isn't it? Stereotypes take over. And that's a shame. Are there Americans who are complete lefties, as in queer rights, ethnic minority rights, (much) higher taxes, free healthcare, free education, free childcare, pro immigration, no guns at all law, paid (at 90 % or higher of your salary) maternity leave. 

Are there Americans like that that you just don't hear about?

Maybe not everything in the same single person, but I can state with good certainty that most American FJers would agree with much of the above. Especially regarding minorities, LGBTs and immigrants rights, single payer healthcare and paid maternity leave, I am fairly certain that nearly all FJers could agree on leftist positions.

[Palimpsest]

6 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

Are there Americans like that that you just don't hear about? 

@SorenaJ, meet the majority of the American posters on Free Jinger.   

Free Jinger, meet an ignorant asshole.  I'm not sure from where @Sorena originates but I doubt they are representative of that nation.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

2 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

Gender reveal parties are kinda hurting the fetus by assigning them a gender, and colour coding the fetus based on the appearance of the genitals, before they are even born. Even after they are born it seems a bit random. It's your child. Stop pushing stereotypes onto it. 

This is a bit over the top considering that less than 1% of the population will consider themselves to be gender fluid. Odds are your child with a penis will always be a boy and your child with a vagina will always be a girl.  Now I'm all for not enforcing color stereotypes and gender specific toys, i.e a truck doesn't have to be pink for a girl to play with it and a doll doesn't have to be a solider for a boy to play with it.  Just let your child naturally mature into what they will be, and be supportive of whatever the child is.

[Special friend]

33 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

It was a milestone moment for us and it was great being able to refer to the baby as "she" or by the name we chose rather than "the baby" or "it."

Yes, that is exactly what I wanted to say. Before finding out the gender, you always have to say "it".

Bring able to say "she" (or "he") is really great and makes it much more real, somehow. It's weird, but that is what it felt like to me, too.

[Jana814]

Someone I went to college with is expecting his first child with his wife. I found their baby registry and they are not finding out the gender because for gender they wrote "it's a surprise". 

 

Someone I went to High School did a gender reveal party for their first child then posted the video on Facebook. 

[Rachel333]

There are some really dumb gender reveal party themes. It really shows how much gender stereotypes are pushed on people from the very beginning.

Spoiler

 

[JenniferJuniper]

I've seen the Guns or Glitter theme before.  Completely insane.

I've had kids of both sex, and I think there are definitely some general differences.  Girls hardly ever seem to want to wrestle with each other for instance.  But foisting this sort of shit on babies still in the womb is reinforcing stereotypes that can prevent kids from growing up to be who they really are and limit their ultimate potential as human beings.  I hate it.  

[nickelodeon]

22 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

There are some really dumb gender reveal party themes. It really shows how much gender stereotypes are pushed on people from the very beginning.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Is my baby going to be a camouflagefootballviolencebeast or a pinkprincessfluff? IT HAS TO BE ONE OR THE OTHER!

[singsingsing]

22 minutes ago, JenniferJuniper said:

I've had kids of both sex, and I think there are definitely some general differences.  Girls hardly ever seem to want to wrestle with each other for instance.  

Oh man, this was not me and my sister at all. When we were kids we wrestled all the time. We called it 'bull wrestling'! 

[TatertotAsserole]

I remember when my brother was born (2000). Neither of my parents is particularly sports inclined and my mom is a pacifist. It was pretty difficult finding clothes for him that weren't overly militaristic or sports oriented. He wore a lot of solids and things with small animals on them. 

My parents also (due to cultural tradition) didn't find out any of our genders til we were born. Moreover, my mom doesn't like imposing strict gender norms on children. Every pink, frilly dress my sister and I wore as children was a gift from my grandma or my mom's sister (who had three boys and wanted a pink, frilly outlet). To this day, when my mom goes to baby showers, she intentionally buys "gender neutral" gifts whether or not the parents know the gender. 

[ElToro]

19 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Oh man, this was not me and my sister at all. When we were kids we wrestled all the time. We called it 'bull wrestling'! 

This was me and my (bigger, nastier, more-skilled-at-wrestling) sister too.... I love that you called it Bull Wrestling (especially given my FJ name). We called it 'Chinese wrestling' ..... I am not Chinese. Nor is my sister.

[Londish]

33 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Oh man, this was not me and my sister at all. When we were kids we wrestled all the time. We called it 'bull wrestling'! 

Haha yes! As a girl with three sisters I can second this. You learn to be tough!

[MissKnowItAll]

1 hour ago, Rachel333 said:

There are some really dumb gender reveal party themes. It really shows how much gender stereotypes are pushed on people from the very beginning.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

As someone not from the U.S, can I please say it is so so strange to see guns on a baby cake? Maybe others won't find it so strange but it was like a smack in the face when I saw that.

[front hugs > duggs]

3 minutes ago, MissKnowItAll said:

As someone not from the U.S, can I please say it is so so strange to see guns on a baby cake? Maybe others won't find it so strange but it was like a literal smack in the face when I saw that.

I'm from the US and I find it incredibly strange 

[Palimpsest]

38 minutes ago, TatertotAsserole said:

To this day, when my mom goes to baby showers, she intentionally buys "gender neutral" gifts whether or not the parents know the gender. 

I do that too.  I also never give a child any toy gun or tank.  Last time I gave a baby gift (I eschew showers but give a gift anyway) I couldn't find any tiny person clothing in yellow or green so I gave books instead.  I enclosed the receipts so they could return them, but they seemed to like them.

My niece is now approaching 30 but still remembers with gratitude that I once gave her a toy car for her birthday.  I'd noticed her playing with her brothers' cars and thought she might like one of her own.

[Carm_88]

I figure that parents are getting enough clothes at baby showers, so I go for diapers. It just seems like the most sensible gift. It may not be treasured for years to come, but I've never had anyone complain about that one.  

[Palimpsest]

9 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

I've never had anyone complain about that one.

I have but I stupidly bought the wrong sort.  First time parents who were rabidly cloth diaper only.  They started using disposables long before baby #2 though.

[SapphireSlytherin]

I've seen guns on kids' cakes, and the "guns or glitter" thing is big too. Mind you:  I grew up in the rural South where guns are normal and people don't get stupid with them.

That said, my "favorite" gender reveal involved a big balloon filled with blue paint. It was "popped" by the dad, who shot the balloon with his 40 cal.

[Quiver Full of Kittens]

Mr. Kittens and I aren't huge fans of the whole gender reveal party thing, mostly because it's another party and we aren't those sorts of people... nor are our families. We do, however, somewhat joke (but not really) about having a reveal party. What is Kittens expecting? A baby? A velociraptor? Let's find out! Having one of those cakes, but half dinosaur/half baby, dinosaur and baby party decorations, people wearing their guesses, ect. Then, you know, we tell people gender and name since we aren't planning on keeping those secret. Dumb? Most likely, but it makes us smile to think of it when we get there.

[unholypoledancer]

I love all this discussion of gender neutral. Even when we knew we were having a girl, we got gender neutral in hopes of saving for the next baby (not all of our stuff, just the majority of it). Esp. big ticket stuff like bassinet, bouncer etc. I hate hyper-sexed clothes for little girls and babies. Some in-law I loathe gave us a stupid ass onesie that said "I may be little but I have daddy wrapped around my finger" or some such shit, and I found it so offensive. I exchanged it right away.  Said relative has granddaughters from her daughter who she gave birth to at 14 (so early 1970s), and the granddaughters don't know who their daddy is. Coming from that context, it's offensive to me, because trying to wrap men around their little fingers obvs. didn't work well for the women in this family. 

It makes me happy to see people encouraging little girls to play with cars, boys with dolls, and kids allowed to pick the colors and clothing they like. I don't like defined roles for people-they should be allowed to choose their own likes and dislikes without regard to gender.

ETA: I went to Anna's instagram, and I see what everyone means about it being super pro-life...so weird she hasn't posted on there at all since early 2016. Kinda wondering why, but I don't think her not posting is a bad thing. 

[Palimpsest]

The "pink is for girls" and "blue is for boys" crapola is really comparatively recent.  It could have gone the other way.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/

In addition, little boys used to wear skirts and had long hair until they were breeched at age 6 or so.  It is astonishing that humankind survived given the white clothes and skirted toddlers and babes with penises.  Penii?

So confusing.

[catlady]

one of my nephews was into Polly Pocket when he was about 8.  around age 5, his favorite color was pink.  he was close friends with two girls in middle school; when they hung around together, he declared himself a girl and called himself Sarah.  he's currently 19 and content with who he is.

[Bad Wolf]

Wolf boy and his wife revealed the baby's sex by opening a box of blue balloons. Not a party, it was just that both families were there for Christmas.