Bro Gary Hawkins Part 2: Saved and Eating Weens, Like a MAN!

[Marshmallow World]

Ok folks

These threads have been amazing, and I just want to thank all the FJ-ers for making me laugh through a rough time.

Sis Marshmallow World (6 lbs 11 oz, born via c-section, which means I didn't get my first up-close-and-personal view of the vagina until my experimental phase in college.)

[KentuckyAdjacent]

Okay Folks,

I was searching for recipes for my headship and decided to learn how to make the Holy Pink  Cream of Righteousness (with the GOOD WEENS) as a special treat.

Imagine my SHOCK upon learning "wiener gravy" has a whole other meaning that JESUS did not include when he was writing KING JAMES BIBLE.*

Dear sisses, please to encircle the RV in PRAYER that God will cleanse the Google from the netwebz and stop this PREVERSSION..

Blessed be the Ween,

Sis KyAdj

*Sex. It's all about the sexing.

[Bad Wolf]

I couldn't understand him. I needed closed captions. He said in the comments that it was recorded on his phone.

[of_the_lioness]

1 hour ago, acheronbeach said:

Why did the camera person video his crotch (and occasionally ass) for almost the the entire service?

 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1672220186156142&id=100001045301983

Why, good weens, of course! 

[Coy Koi]

11 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

OK folks, I'm really sorry but I have to be a cautionary wet blanket here.  I know we are mocking him, and it is in good fun, but that's poking the bear, IMO.  

I would not want to sic (as in incite or urge to an attack, pursuit, or harassment) Bro Gary on any of the various good causes I support.  Or even draw them to his attention.  Furthermore, some of these extreme fundie people are not completely in touch with reality.  A few French Fries short of a Happy Meal.  Only have one oar in the water.

In other words, loose cannons.  Some of them with guns.

Of course I would never want my donation to cause trouble for a cause I support, but if anyone is considering making a donation somewhere in Gary's (or anyone else's) name, they could check with the organization first and get their stance on it. A small, obscure organization that many people probably don't know about would perhaps not be a good choice to bring to the attention of someone like Gary, true. But some large organizations even encourage "spiteful" donations, such as Planned Parenthood keeping count of the number of protesters for those who wish to donate a certain amount per protester. It's basically the same idea. They also will notify anyone you choose of your donation, without any type of request to only use it for people who will appreciate the donation being made in their name, and no doubt they are well aware that the feature has been used MANY times to notify people who would definitely not appreciate it.

Anyway, I just really like the idea of spiteful donations. It's such a good way to turn hate into something positive. Of course it's not always appropriate, but when it is, it's beautiful.

[Palimpsest]

6 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

Anyway, I just really like the idea of spiteful donations. It's such a good way to turn hate into something positive.

I really love the idea of protest donations.  It's a great way of turning hate into something positive.

6 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

Planned Parenthood keeping count of the number of protesters for those who wish to donate a certain amount per protester.

Aggregate numbers are different.   I just don't, personally, think spitefully notifying Bro. Gary (or his ilk) of your donation via a proxy is a good idea.  I already support PP so it is moot in my case, but if  I made a donation to them because of Bro. Gary I would not want him notified. 

Really, IMO "spite" notifications poke the bear.  It just encourages these people to feel persecuted and doesn't change their minds one iota.  In fact it encourages them.  Bro. Gary will probably do a John Shrader, label the notification as an attack by Satan, and convince himself that Satan only attacks the people who are succeeding the most in God's work.  Yay, him.

Just my opinion.  I'm putting it out there as food for thought.  That's all.

[TeddyBonkers]

Okay folks,

Here's a story about "spiteful donations". But first, background:

I come from a solidly red state (and even consider myself conservative on some issues). The majority of my family lives in the same red state, within the same 50 mile radius from where they were born, and have this mindset that EVERYONE IS JUST LIKE THEM. Everyone has the same opportunities, the same background, the same story.

And then there's me. I lived in the Middle East for two years, and have spent the last 14 years or so moving every two years to a different state. I have a markedly different perspective on the world than my red-state family.

A certain red-state family member (let's call him Dave) just chaps my ass. He's not from a "different generation" (like that's an excuse), he's younger than I am. Old enough to know that making jokes about how LGBT should only stand for Liquor, Guns, Beer, and Tits might get you some push back.

After a lot of back and forth on several issues, I said to myself, okay. I'm donating money to these causes anyway, and it's MY money and I can spend it how I like (isn't that how it works, Dave?), I can donate it in Dave's name. The first month was the Matthew Shephard Foundation. When Dave started ranting about the oil pipeline- The Conservation Fund. I based my donations on his cause de jour.

He didn't mention anything until I reached Planned Parenthood. That sure as hell got his attention.

Christmas dinner is sure going to be exciting this year!

Sis Bonkers

[Nikedagain?]

@TeddyBonkers Wow Sis! You're my new hero!

I've been sending my PP donation in honor of Mike "Hot Pants" Pence. I might have to change my strategy to someone a bit nearer and dearer....

[Red Jumper]

Quote

Ok folks about our need. Some have ask how they could help. Well here is what the answers is. If all of my FB Friends would give the Hawkins Family Ministry a one time gift of $12 we would have the money to purchase the motorhome. That is not a lot. Little is much when GOD is in it. So we ask that you Pray about giving $12 to help with the motorhome. This is exciting to know that this little $ 12 from each person on FB would be a big help. So help us Pray GOD will be done in this matter. Also share with your friends to let them know how little we need. Thank you to the ones who have gave to us already. You can use PayPal, GoFundMe, or our local Church. 
Bro Gary Hawkins

Dude, you have 4,988 "friends" on FB. You probably have never met that many people in your life. You want everyone of those people, you don't know, to give you a double digit amount of USD? Get real man! This RV costs cost a lot of money. Only people, who work and save more than they spend, can afford stuff. 

[KentuckyAdjacent]

Okay folks,

Forgive me of my sin-uh if someone already shared this, but...y'all.

https://www.facebook.com/BroGaryHawkins/

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, TeddyBonkers said:

Christmas dinner is sure going to be exciting this year!

And I'd really like to be a fly on the wall to see what happens.

My point still stands though.  "Dave" is a bear cub you know, and presumably you know your taunting him with donations is not going to incite him to violence.  

I don't believe in touching the poop and am cautious about poking strange Fundie bears.  Gary may be a Bear of Very Little Brain and Long Words obviously Bother Him.  He's no Winnie the Pooh, however, and Rufus knows about his affiliations or how volatile he is in reality. 

[sawasdee]

Oh, @Palimpsest I can now only see Bro Gary as Pooh - and he is a bear of Very Little Brain!

On another note, I know it's only a matter of timing, but nowadays Lori is always below Bro  Gary in the list of threads when I log in - wouldn't she hate that!

Sis Sawasdee, full term, 10lbs 8oz, don't know which way up....

[General Jinjur]

Ok folks, here's a little wtfery from Mr Confederate Revival. Heather is his wife.

Spoiler

What's up with these assholes feeding each other?

When my racist uncle died I made a donation in his memory to the Southern Poverty Law Center. 

Sis Jinjur

[sawasdee]

Ok folks - quick question.

I know in the US, you can claim a tax deduction for a donation to a registered charity. If you donate in someone else's name, who gets the deduction? If it's the real donor, fine.

But I would hate to think of hordes of people protesting Pence's antedeluvian views by donating in his name to Planned Parenthood, and him getting a massive tax deduction!

Sis Sawasdee - mother on bed rest in hospital for entire pregnancy....(shouldn't have had babies, but - catholic.)

[Palimpsest]

7 minutes ago, sawasdee said:

who gets the deduction?

You do - listing it on on your tax return.  You get a receipt from the 501 (c) [whatever].

Pence just gets a notification.

OK, folks, I can't share my birth story and weight.  That info wasn't on the adoption certificate.

Sis P.

[unsafetydancer]

16 minutes ago, General Jinjur said:

What's up with these assholes feeding each other?

That is a disturbing factor in this whole shitshow. Also that picture made me cringe.

[General Jinjur]

Lol at Bro Gary explaining how to use PayPal (or "paplal.")

Hopefully this hinders his grifting.

Sis Jin

[sawasdee]

That pic @General Jinjur posted - infantilising his wife much?

It just about sums up fundie philosophy - women should be treated as toddlers, with no agency and no judgment.

It made me throw up a little in my mouth.

 

[FundieFarmer]

I've never heard of paplal.com but it sounds interesting.

[Coy Koi]

2 hours ago, KentuckyAdjacent said:

Okay folks,

Forgive me of my sin-uh if someone already shared this, but...y'all.

https://www.facebook.com/BroGaryHawkins/

Omg, I love this so much. Who is responsible?? Someone has Weenese down pat.

[keepercjr]

Ok folks,

CNN runs "nutrisystem for men" commercials and one of the men says "man food!"  Now I can't not think of Bro. Gary.

sis. Keeper, 6 lbs  3oz and had to wait a whole 6 months to get my resume building disease diagnosis.  

 

[Red Jumper]

ok folks,

It' hilarous . thanks @KentuckyAdjacent

@Coy Koi This sure reads like a dear FJiite sat up a fan site and we don't want to dox FJites. I keep my guess to myself.

'@'FellowFjite But Bravo! You SEVERLY rock weenese eleventy

Sis Red Jumper, on time with ass first 

[Lurky]

OK folks who's going to take one for the sistren and click on paplal.com?  (Hint:  NOT ME!)

If you do, and your computer/phone doesn't get immediately infested with 100 viruses, please report back!

Sis Lurky (still cackling out loud)

[pamplemousse]

I guess I'm not a MAN 'cause I don't have enough guts (foolishness?) to click on paplal.com to find out what's there.

Seriously, though, whoever out there set up that parody FB account...I'm laughing my fool head off.

- Sis pamplemousse, 7 lbs. 2 oz., a few days early just before Halloween (which I don't think is the same kind of ween Bro Gary so enthusiastically eats)

[Baaaaaabe]

On 9/17/2017 at 0:21 PM, Palimpsest said:

OK folks, I'm really sorry but I have to be a cautionary wet blanket here.  I know we are mocking him, and it is in good fun, but that's poking the bear, IMO.  

I would not want to sic (as in incite or urge to an attack, pursuit, or harassment) Bro Gary on any of the various good causes I support.  Or even draw them to his attention.  Furthermore, some of these extreme fundie people are not completely in touch with reality.  A few French Fries short of a Happy Meal.  Only have one oar in the water.

In other words, loose cannons.  Some of them with guns.

Sis P 

This is a very good point, and one I hadn't thought of.  I'll just think of him next time I donate to a worthy cause

3 hours ago, KentuckyAdjacent said:

Okay folks,

Forgive me of my sin-uh if someone already shared this, but...y'all.

https://www.facebook.com/BroGaryHawkins/

I don't know who you are, but I hate you for making me low key suffocate from laughing so hard during this most difficult season of life (I got bronchitis... I have asthma so if someone sneezes within a mile of me, I end up with bronchitis).   Send help.  *image of my hand slowly sinking behind desk as I fall to the floor and submit myself to my fate*