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Bro Gary Hawkins Part 2: Saved and Eating Weens, Like a MAN!


Destiny

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16 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

He has prerequisites too.  He spelled that right.  

And this for a ThD: Also upon completion of your course studies a Thesis or Dissertation (at least 30 pages or 20,000 words) will be required to receive your Degree.

Thirty (30) whole pages !!!!!!!!111111Eleventy!!!!!!!11111

Yep. You hit the nail on the head.

And have you met John Shrader?  He never lets us forget he was premature.

Damn, does that mean I can trade my 300 page dissertation for 10 of their degrees?

 

@BlackberryGirl, congratulations on the adorable grandson! i hope everything works out. 

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Congratties, @BlackberryGirl! What a cutie pie!

Sis Bonkers (don't know my birth weight, but my birth coincided with a freakishly strong blizzard, so I might be Elsa and take THAT Mr. 30-page-preemie-Confederate)

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Ok folks, I'm so behind on ween news! I was crazy busy yesterday and didn't have a chance to check in. I'm definitely feeling ween-deprived. (Especially since you weens are on thread 2 now.)

Congrats on the adorable grand baby @BlackberryGirl. I hope everything works out for everyone.

Sis Jinjur, right on time, 8lbs 9oz, cord around the neck, jaundiced.

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@BlackberryGirl He's adorable, so handsome! Congrats to all of you :my_heart:

I have another ongoing thought about Bro Gary that I want to write but it probably doesn't belong in the same post as baby congratulations...oh well, you're getting it anyway, cos it's a short day and I'm a busy lady!

You know all the speculation about why Becky stays with Gary when he may have been instrumental in her losing her children etc etc? I have the answer.

 

<<<scroll down to build anticipation >>>

 

The OBVIOUS answer is that she stays because the hey-hey-hey is so amazing!! Gary delivers on the good lovin'. The prime beef. The jiggy mac jiggerson. The horizontal tango of luuuurrrve!! Becky is in such a haze of ongoing turnedonedness (it's a word...:my_dodgy:) that she can't think straight! Solved it for ya.

:mindblowing:

I'll see myself out 

 

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Is anyone else curious about when "weens" will show up in the popular word collage thing? 

Also, my cat's name is Beans. One of his nicknames is ween. When, he's bad I call him a stinky ween. When he's good, I say what a good ween he's being.  I've done so for a long time, but I'm so conflicted about this right now. 

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Morning folks, Bkackberrygirl congrats on the beautiful grandbaby! I checked the gofundme page and the  total is $50. Slowly moving along. It says they have a 33 foot and a gospel tent. Do they have a house? If Bro is so biblically inclined why doesnt he have his own flock to pastor? I never knew there were so many people who travel around the country ministering. Well I gotta get my own young uns up for Church. Enjoy the day.

Sis Candy

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4 minutes ago, IrishCarrie said:

The OBVIOUS answer is that she stays because the hey-hey-hey is so amazing!! Gary delivers on the good lovin'. The prime beef. The jiggy mac jiggerson. The horizontal tango of luuuurrrve!! Becky is in such a haze of ongoing turnedonedness (it's a word...:my_dodgy:) that she can't think straight! Solved it for ya.

:mindblowing:

I'll see myself out 

 

Ok folks. THIS makes me want to vomit pink ween. Brain bleach please:brainbleach:

truley Bibblically in grammar,

Sis Snark (preemie 4lbs. 10oz)

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11 minutes ago, Candydandy said:

Morning folks, Bkackberrygirl congrats on the beautiful grandbaby! I checked the gofundme page and the  total is $50. Slowly moving along. It says they have a 33 foot and a gospel tent. Do they have a house? If Bro is so biblically inclined why doesnt he have his own flock to pastor? I never knew there were so many people who travel around the country ministering. Well I gotta get my own young uns up for Church. Enjoy the day.

Sis Candy

Would it be an awful idea for a bunch of FJ-ers to donate negligible amounts (ex. 10 cents, 25 cents) and then donate a decent chunk to the charity of that FJ-ite's choice, letting Bro Gary know in the donation note? Ex, Good Ween Sis Baaaaaabe donates 10 cents to a new grift mobile and an additional $10 in Bro Gary's name to [pro science or pro LGBT rights or antipoverty organization, etc.].  Can this be a thing? Can we make this a thing?

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I see were you are coming from but I don't think this is a good idea. I can of course only talk for myself:
I don't donate to homophobics. I don't donate to any haters. I don't donate to people who are not in need but just lazy. I don't donate to history-abusers/-changers. I don't donate to religious fundies of any kind. I don't donate to misogynists. (There other kind of people I don't donate to. But unless shown otherwise, I will give anyone, including this guy, the benefit of doubt). This includes even 1 cent donations.
I only give towards the causes I believe in and those organizations I trust.

Furthermore, if a certain percentage of Fjites donate 10 cents towards this weirdo, this will add up to a decent amount of money. If you compare it to his current success (per day), it would take around 60 FJites to donate 10cent each - not a lot, in regards to the many funny posts we already had. So we could easily become his greatest fan. I'm sure that's not want we want to be.

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I agree with @Red Jumper, I wouldn't even want to give him a dime, but there's nothing stopping anyone from donating to a good cause in his honor, @Baaaaaabe. Most organizations let you donate in honor of someone else and will notify them via mail or email. Gary's email address and PO Box are listed on their website. That's actually a pretty fun idea--it would grind his gears but not cause any harm, would support whatever good cause we want, and might send him looking for what's going on (obviously no one could claim to represent FJ or anything, but I know a lot of us would love a visit from Gary!). The only problem is that I don't want him to have my name. If I had a common name I wouldn't care, but I don't. If anyone knows a way around this that doesn't cost any additional money, I'm game.

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Personally I love the idea BUT, just fyi, not that any of you would do it but just to be sure

Nobody can can claim to speak or represent FreeJinger in any way shape or form, included making donations in FJ name.

 

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57 minutes ago, Coy Koi said:

Most organizations let you donate in honor of someone else and will notify them via mail or email.

OK folks, I'm really sorry but I have to be a cautionary wet blanket here.  I know we are mocking him, and it is in good fun, but that's poking the bear, IMO.  

I would not want to sic (as in incite or urge to an attack, pursuit, or harassment) Bro Gary on any of the various good causes I support.  Or even draw them to his attention.  Furthermore, some of these extreme fundie people are not completely in touch with reality.  A few French Fries short of a Happy Meal.  Only have one oar in the water.

In other words, loose cannons.  Some of them with guns.

Sis P 

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OK Folks, I am running a special on Preaching Licenses all this week.  50% off!  $299.99, cash only.  These are AUTHENTIC Preaching licenses, it says so on the license!

I am looking at a 2008 Caddy for my new PreachMobile, seeing as the '94 done run her wheels off.  I need it right away!  Not next month!  This week!  Now you know I has prayed about this so let's see whether the lord will open you hearts and wallets.  I prefer large bills.  

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I'm not sure what is worse - thinking of JoJo Naugliar having sex or thinking of Bro Pink Ween having sex. Can we talk about rainbows & unicorns for a while? Please?

Sis VSM 8lb 15oz (born to a 90lb mom) and frank breech aka came out showing my ass and haven't stopped since

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Ok Folks,

@Red Jumper I also had the same evil thought of a bunch of anonymous peeps donating very small denominations towards the Ween's RV.

@BlackberryGirl CONGRATULATIONS!

@FundieFarmer Welcome back and if you need anything send me a PM and I will try to help from afar.

Love Sis Pook (6 lbs 2 oz, born in Quebec during a really bad snowstorm, where Jesus decided to simply open my mother's Godly womb for a precipitous and silent pain-free delivery. Weird, Mother Pook is an atheist.)

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I'm thinking of Creighton Lovelace as a Harry Potter character. You are correct EmainMacha!!!!! If Kenneth Brannagh hadn't already been cast and lost his memory, he would be perfect !!! 

How can a Muggle have a name like Creighton Lovelace ???????????????????

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Thank you, sweet FJ friends. Mr. FF & I are doing just fine, though canine FF was very rattled and displeased. The FF family homestead has some damage, so we are taking care of it for mother & father FF. It will take some contractors and tree men, but it is reparable and not something from which we can't come back. We were very, very fortunate. Thank you for all of your kind thoughts. I really appreciate it!!

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6 hours ago, IrishCarrie said:

@BlackberryGirl He's adorable, so handsome! Congrats to all of you :my_heart:

I have another ongoing thought about Bro Gary that I want to write but it probably doesn't belong in the same post as baby congratulations...oh well, you're getting it anyway, cos it's a short day and I'm a busy lady!

You know all the speculation about why Becky stays with Gary when he may have been instrumental in her losing her children etc etc? I have the answer.

 

<<<scroll down to build anticipation >>>

 

The OBVIOUS answer is that she stays because the hey-hey-hey is so amazing!! Gary delivers on the good lovin'. The prime beef. The jiggy mac jiggerson. The horizontal tango of luuuurrrve!! Becky is in such a haze of ongoing turnedonedness (it's a word...:my_dodgy:) that she can't think straight! Solved it for ya.

:mindblowing:

I'll see myself out 

 

Thankyou for that IrishCarrie!!!!!!!! I'm sat on terrace with wine in Zanzibar trying not to laugh out loud!!!!!! First day with proper Internet since Saturday am!! I've been able to check in and out, also comment a bit before connection disappears. 

Can anyone imagine how they succeed at the above? Being truthful, not rude now but neither of them are built for easy Jiving are they??!!!!

 Off to prayer closet after wine finished. 

Apologies for not snipping Mods. I'm stupid, a dinosaur and typing fast before connection disappears again. 

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Congrats @BlackberryGirl What a sweet wee man. I hope that everything gets sorted soon so you can enjoy spending time with him.

sis Unsafetydancer 6lb preemie who later grew up to be the tallest member of her immediate family.

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Ok folks, 

I have FINALLY waded through this mess. @Destiny did warn me it was a trap. My thoughts are as follows (because I know you were all waiting with bated breath :pb_razz:):

Whoever said man gravy in the midst of all of the pink weens is down right evil.:puke-front:

@General Jinjur wins for her song Good Weens (why my tablet already knows that word is beyond me, and slightly disturbing).

Confederate revival guy "finally" got his preaching license at 17? Finally? :pb_confused:

This thread has now put me extremely behind on the catching up with real life I'm supposed to be doing today.

Sis Daisy 8 lbs, 6 oz, diagnosed with failure to thrive at 18 months 

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On the baby news, I was born in summer, first scheduled surgery of a Monday, Nice Round Head.. that's me.. It rained the day I was to go home from the hospital, and my mom said to bring the old blanket, but Dad said she can't be wrapped up in that boy blanket, she's a GIRL and I want people to know. 

Sista Four..

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