Counting On: Season 4, Part 1: Back to Planet Duggarville

[JenniferJuniper]

26 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

They also have to show Jinger cooking because what else is there? Unlike each and every one of her married sisters, she wasn't pregnant nearly immediately after birth. So there are no belly pics to post, no ultrasounds, jinder reveals, twin speculation, birth specials, etc. She also doesn't live near family so they can't show her hanging out at TTH, getting her nails done with her sisters or eating endless tacos with them. Her main job is to keep house and cook for Jeremy and follow him around when he goes on trips or preaching or whatever. That is IT. You can bet that once she's pregnant, the cooking focus will fade away.

Agree.  Jinge has no other story lines right now but they want to keep her around in anticipation of the inevitable pregnancy.  A Duggar girl needs to have a girl!  Especially if Joy has a boy.

I hope each one of them has a boy every single time.  Arndt-style, minus Wizzie.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

And I absolute have noticed that NO ONE criticizes men for wearing glasses at "formal events".

No, but my husband (who started going gray haired in his 20s) was told by one of his sister's bridesmaids that he "should really color his hair so that he wouldn't look so old and ruin the wedding pictures". 

[Palimpsest]

46 minutes ago, PainfullyAware said:

I always take those comments as having an invisible footnote that any positives or benefits in her life only occur within the controlling, patriarchal marriage institution and religious community she is part of.

As has been stated many times:  Many of us think it is very important to spell out those invisible footnotes.  Spelling them out is meant for newcomers to the Duggar TV program and casual readers.  Remember we are a Public Forum with many more readers than we have members and some people just stumble upon Free Jinger when they google.

Those casual readers may not understand the background of extreme Fundamentalism or the Quiverfull and Christian Patriarchal Movements.  It is important to emphasis the background and how the beliefs affect the behaviors and actions of the Duggar family regularly.

We are here to discuss the flaws of Fundamentalism not just the characters on an UnReality TV show. It is in our Mission Statement.

Clarifying comments will continue to be made by many.  This is not going to change.  Don't take those comments personally and please just scroll on by them if you find them boring.   Thank you.

[Kittikatz]

I was asked to be a bridesmaid once. The bride then told all of us who wore glasses that she expected contacts to be worn at all wedding events, and that we would have to buy identical dresses in set colours for each of her three showers as well as bridesmaid dresses for the big day. She also wanted us to cut/grow out and colour our hair the same so we would be "visually pleasing and unified in appearance". Three of the five bridesmaids (including yours truly) wound up telling her to stubble it. Some people really need to get over themselves and realize that a wedding isn't that big a deal in the general scheme of things. 

[PainfullyAware]

@Palimpsest that's why in my last paragraph I suggested that people saying there is a benefit come out and specifically say it is within a limited scope.

[Palimpsest]

1 minute ago, Kittikatz said:

She also wanted us to cut/grow out and colour our hair the same so we would be "visually pleasing and unified in appearance".

What is WRONG with people?  Why didn't she just hire extras that were all the same height, weight, and coloring too?

25 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

No, but my husband (who started going gray haired in his 20s) was told by one of his sister's bridesmaids that he "should really color his hair so that he wouldn't look so old and ruin the wedding pictures". 

I hope he told her to sod off!

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

1 minute ago, Palimpsest said:

I hope he told her to sod off!

I think he just ignored her. (It was before we met.) Speaking from experience, he's really good at ignoring people when he disagrees with them. 

[Palimpsest]

19 minutes ago, PainfullyAware said:

@Palimpsest that's why in my last paragraph I suggested that people saying there is a benefit come out and specifically say it is within a limited scope.

I saw.  Sorry, I was being virtuous and over-snipped the quote.   It is a good idea. I don't think that will get the message about the dangers of Extreme Fundamentalism out sufficiently, though.  

It is a perennial argument.  We still get the occasional obvious fan-girl (not pointing at any of our current members).  But perhaps the righteous ranters people who feel strongly could be more patient with the people who forget to say it is within a limited scope.

I still advocate scrolling on by when anyone goes on a righteous rant*.

*ETA if you find them annoying!

[SongRed7]

17 hours ago, likejana86 said:

sorry ,,,,,,jason with that beard,,,,,

While the beard was unfortunate, I actually liked it. It should some originality and departure from the Duggar norm.  Looked almost like a mainstream kid experimenting.   

I'll take what I can get 

[Satan'sFortress]

Pardon the interruption: 

Back to the glasses for a sec (and I agree, they looked cute on Joy) . . . has anyone used one of the online places to get glasses?  Warby Parker or Zenni or one of those?  I have a super strong prescription, but no vision insurance.  These places seem less expensive, but I don't want to get a cheap-o pair of glasses.

[SapphireSlytherin]

40 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Pardon the interruption: 

Back to the glasses for a sec (and I agree, they looked cute on Joy) . . . has anyone used one of the online places to get glasses?  Warby Parker or Zenni or one of those?  I have a super strong prescription, but no vision insurance.  These places seem less expensive, but I don't want to get a cheap-o pair of glasses.

I'm a Zenni freak - they're awesome!   You do need your pupil distance measurement, along with your prescription. I've had a couple of pairs of crap glasses, but the other two dozen or so have been great. Wearing a pair now, actually.

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

1 hour ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I'm a Zenni freak - they're awesome!   You do need your pupil distance measurement, along with your prescription. I've had a couple of pairs of crap glasses, but the other two dozen or so have been great. Wearing a pair now, actually.

Dumb question from someone who has worn glasses for 45 years:

How or Who do you get your pupil distance measurement from?
And, if you know, are progressive bifocals still a bargain at a place like Zenni?  

[joy2world]

Pardon the interruption: 

Back to the glasses for a sec (and I agree, they looked cute on Joy) . . . has anyone used one of the online places to get glasses?  Warby Parker or Zenni or one of those?  I have a super strong prescription, but no vision insurance.  These places seem less expensive, but I don't want to get a cheap-o pair of glasses.

 

I just used Warby Parker for the first time and I really liked it a lot. The glasses are very high quality but not expensive. Much cheaper then anything I looked at in the store, but I don't think they look cheap. I've gotten lots of compliments. The home try on process was also very easy and fun. They even have a feature of their app that will make a video of you in all the different pairs of glasses so you can get other people's opinions. They have an online tool that will measure your pupillary distance for you. I did not get bifocals, so I'm not sure about that. But I have a higher prescription and they were able to deal with it with no problem.

[Natalie22]

What I found interesting was when they were complementing Jinger's cooking, they were asked for specifics and all they could come up with was that she made big quantities that allowed for the perfect amount of leftovers....  Not that that isn't nice, but how on earth does that make someone a good cook especially in a family with a bunch of older girls whose sole focus in life is the become the best homemaker possible.  I'm on my 3rd degree and I can make large quantities of food, but that doesn't mean it always turns out well.

[llg1234]

2 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Pardon the interruption: 

Back to the glasses for a sec (and I agree, they looked cute on Joy) . . . has anyone used one of the online places to get glasses?  Warby Parker or Zenni or one of those?  I have a super strong prescription, but no vision insurance.  These places seem less expensive, but I don't want to get a cheap-o pair of glasses.

I've had my Warby Parker glasses for 2.5 years now and they're still in great condition. Like @joy2world said, it's easy to work with, whether it's online or trying them on yourself. I also like their "buy a pair, give a pair" practices and how they approach it. 

https://www.warbyparker.com/buy-a-pair-give-a-pair

[SapphireSlytherin]

Your ophthalmologist will have the pupil distance, but it's not typically written on your prescription - you have to ask for it. (Mine's 61)

I haven't ordered bifocals or progressives - just "readers" in my actual prescription for readers. My eyes are so mis-matched (20/25 left, 20/80 right) that I can't "work" bifocals to save my life.  My eye doctor told me--after I'd tried several different pairs including lined and progressive--that they just won't ever work for me.

 

[nastyhobbitses]

1 hour ago, Natalie22 said:

What I found interesting was when they were complementing Jinger's cooking, they were asked for specifics and all they could come up with was that she made big quantities that allowed for the perfect amount of leftovers....  Not that that isn't nice, but how on earth does that make someone a good cook especially in a family with a bunch of older girls whose sole focus in life is the become the best homemaker possible.  I'm on my 3rd degree and I can make large quantities of food, but that doesn't mean it always turns out well.

I just don't understand why Jessa and a bunch of other fundie reality girls (Erin comes to mind) whose sole purpose in life is to cook shit and pump out kids couldn't cook by the time they reached marriageable age. Maybe some of it was "lol I can't cook lol I am so relatable" for the cameras, but I have an MA, an IUD, and an active sex life with no MRS to match, and I know how to freakin' cook (in fact, I really enjoy it and get excited about holidays because they're a chance for me to make tons of really elaborate dishes).

[calimojo]

One more thing about the glasses; Many pregnant women can't wear their contacts during pregnancy.  The shape of the eye actually changes slightly.  Even pregnant women who don't normally wear glasses might have some changes in their vision during pregnancy. 

When I saw Joy in the glasses I thought it might be related to pregnancy,  or,  maybe Joy just prefers her glasses, but felt pressured to wear contacts when living at home so as not to interfere with her 'countenance'.  My daughter has gorgeous eyes, but she hates wearing contacts.  So she wears glasses all the time.  I secretly hope she will go back to contacts because her eyes are just amazing, but the truth is,  they are her eyes, her face, her decision. and she is smart, sassy, strong, warm and beautiful, glasses or not. 

 

[NeverBeenKissed]

Maybe Austin prefers her in glasses...

[Kittikatz]

Regarding the Duggar/Bates girls who never learned to cook until adult good, it could be because they had very limited access to food choices growing up.

Some families in my old community (frequently the ones with more kids than money) had set menus on every day of the week or a strict rotation of a limited number of recipes. The food was cheap and heavy on the bulk/frozen food side of the grocery store. One friend told me his parents used the same grocery list every week because they ate exactly the same things every week. Any variation to the menu was typically because of sales or holidays and was under the 'jurisdiction' of the mother - they couldn't afford to have a child waste food on a failed cooking attempt or help themselves to something. As a result, many of the female children from those families were lucky if they could cook a handful of recipes by the time they left home. The boys typically were taught even fewer kitchen skills. It's all around sad, esp since a little creativity and a garden could have made for more and better food, but the parents probably didn't have the head space left to imagine different food.

Add in the whole sister mom dynamic, and learning to cook could easily be pushed even lower on the priority list.

[feministxtian]

6 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Your ophthalmologist will have the pupil distance, but it's not typically written on your prescription - you have to ask for it. (Mine's 61)

I haven't ordered bifocals or progressives - just "readers" in my actual prescription for readers. My eyes are so mis-matched (20/25 left, 20/80 right) that I can't "work" bifocals to save my life.  My eye doctor told me--after I'd tried several different pairs including lined and progressive--that they just won't ever work for me.

 

I can't do the bifocals or progressives either. 20/30 in one eye and somewhere about 20/100 in the other (thank you mother for never having my lazy eye treated as a child). I wear cheap-ass readers when I'm tired, but the rest of the time I can still read pretty well w/o any glasses at all. I also have no lens restriction on my license since one eye meets the legal minimum. Truth is, my lazy eye doesn't do a helluva lot for me but look cute. My left eye is the one that takes the brunt of the work. I can't see shit out of my right eye near or far anymore. 

If my car doesn't cost a small fortune to fix, I might actually get to make an eye doctor appointment and get new glasses. 

[Rachel333]

I just got new glasses and a new prescription for the first time in a few years. I didn't realize how much my eyes had changed, and it was an amazing feeling to put on the new glasses and see everything crystal clear again.

I've used those sites to order cheap glasses. They've worked really well for me and it's nice to have a few extra pairs.

[LuckyShot]

10 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Pardon the interruption: 

Back to the glasses for a sec (and I agree, they looked cute on Joy) . . . has anyone used one of the online places to get glasses?  Warby Parker or Zenni or one of those?  I have a super strong prescription, but no vision insurance.  These places seem less expensive, but I don't want to get a cheap-o pair of glasses.

I get my glasses and contacts from Clearly, the U.S. website is Coastal. They have brand name glasses for great prices. And shipping has been fantastic for me. I usually get contacts in 2-3 days and I got my last pair of glasses 3 days after ordering! Returns are also easy and free if a pair you order doesn't work out for you. They offer good discounts for first time customers.

I tried Warby Parker but something about the frames I got didn't work for me. Made me feel like I was drunk when I wore them. They tried remaking them in case there was a problem with the lenses but it was the same thing again. Customer service was great though, I got a full refund and the return was free so I would still recommend them. The glasses were good quality, they just didn't work out for me. I'm sure a different frame might have worked but I decided to just stick with Clearly after that.

[CrazyMumma]

Re the cooking thing.. It's almost impossible to get creative in the kitchen in a large family. Try and make patties in a large family.. You won't get anything else done that morning. Dishes I cooked where dependant on how fast, cheap and economical it could be for a family of ten.. We ate lots of boiled potatoes, rice and stir fry.  (Vegans)

I've really loved getting to experiment in the kitchen since marrying. Hubby loves good food.. Keeps me busy. Haha

[SapphireSlytherin]

5 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Truth is, my lazy eye doesn't do a helluva lot for me but look cute. My left eye is the one that takes the brunt of the work. I can't see shit out of my right eye near or far anymore. 

Hello, sight-twin! I'm exactly the same. My eye doc always questioned my ability to drive because he didn't see how I could compensate for depth perception, but I do just fine and have never had an at-fault wreck (I've been rear-ended twice and t-boned twice).

My right eye, like yours, just kinda hangs around and keeps my face semi-symmetrical. That's its only use until I put on my prescription readers - then it has to earn its keep. lol