Joe and Kendra 5: Married!

[Destiny]

Continued from here:

 

[Season of life...]

I wonder if Michelle's new hairstyle wasn't a bid for extra attention since she was not the mother of the bride, and Mrs. Caldwell, the mother of the bride, was also part of the bridal party. Michelle might have been feeling left out, leading her to allow someone to arrange her hair. It's unusual for her to do anything different with her hair, even for special occasions. I don't usually change my hairstyle either, so I'm not snarking on that, just thinking that there is more to this than her just grooming herself for the wedding. 

I do think Michelle looks very nice, and the hairstyle goes well with her dress.

I'm glad that Kendra and Joe look so happy and in love. I honestly wish them the best.

[freethemall]

In the last thread there were guesses about wedding surprises and salty snacks. My guess is that the surprise was that there were plain chips AND BBQ chips. And pickles too, of course.

A feast!

[nst]

so no news about the honeymoon in Africa?

[Georgiana]

I....may be willing to give them a pass on the lack of refreshments, which is generally a pet peeve of mine.

I don't think success has altered JB's miserly grifting habits. I suspect Kendra's less affluent family were tasked with throwing a Duggar-level wedding, and probably threw most of the budget into things that would be shown on TV to avoid embarrassment for their daughter. 

Im not sure Kendra or her family were given the freedom to cut costs responsibly such as reducing the bridal party, reducing the guest list, etc., and I'm not sure JB or TLC were generous enough to pick up the slack. 

Certainly is a step down from the refreshments at Jinger's and Joy's weddings.

[albireo]

Quote

Pretty sure that's how she always looks. 

Oh man, then I'm very sorry, that snark was uncalled for.

(Helpmeets, how do I enter a user's name into a quote? I can't click "quote" for Carm_88's post because it was in the last thread)

[Carm_88]

4 minutes ago, albireo said:

Oh man, then I'm very sorry, that snark was uncalled for.

(Helpmeets, how do I enter a user's name into a quote? I can't click "quote" for Carm_88's post because it was in the last thread)

Hahaha! No, it's fine. I've wondered the same thing. I remember seeing her at Jinger's wedding and thought she looked very bored. I'm pretty sure that's just how she is. 

[divadivine]

On the subject of refreshments at the reception one would think the ladies of the church would volunteer to prepare and serve snacks as a gift to the bride & groom. Isn't that what happened with Smuggar's wedding? The ladies at the church prepared all the food. I'm guessing they probably paid for it out of their pocket or maybe the Kellars gave them money. Either way, homemade snacks & treats would be bettter than some pretzels, popcorn, and chips. But again, these are the Buy Used & Save the Difference Duggars. Maybe the Caldwells are Cheap, too. 

4 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

Hahaha! No, it's fine. I've wondered the same thing. I remember seeing her at Jinger's wedding and thought she looked very bored. I'm pretty sure that's just how she is. 

I always look mad.... no matter what.... I've mastered the RBF. 

[singsingsing]

Cupcakes and store bought snacks sound a-ok to me. Not sure what the issue is, if your wedding/reception isn't held during a regular meal time, you're not expected to provide your guests a full meal. If all someone can think about at your reception is that you're cheap for serving store bought pretzels, oh well, their loss.

[Hmmm_idolatry]

I like her dress (based on what I can see of it so far).  The shape of the top reminds me of Jessa's gown, and Jessa's gown is my favorite of all the Duggar wedding gowns.  She looks so young, but as long as she's happy, then so be it.  I hope these two have a happy marriage and do their own thing in life, whatever that may be.  

I'm half Italian, so the idea of having a party and not feeding people ginormous quantities of food is baffling to me, but Kendra's parents don't have that TLC paycheck coming in, so I will cut them some slack. It sounds like their big meal was that Mexican dinner the night before the wedding.  I can't help but wonder if Joe and Kendra didn't pull into a drive thru on their way to their hotel.  

[grandmadugger]

We served a meal at our reception and we still hit a drive through. We barely had time to eat so Taco Bell was it. 

[Jana814]

Every wedding I have been to their has been a sit down meal. Going to one that doesn't is just odd to me. 

[SassyPants]

29 minutes ago, grandmadugger said:

We served a meal at our reception and we still hit a drive through. We barely had time to eat so Taco Bell was it. 

Same for us except it was pizza on the patio while we hung out at the pool.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

2 hours ago, Georgiana said:

I....may be willing to give them a pass on the lack of refreshments, which is generally a pet peeve of mine.

I don't think success has altered JB's miserly grifting habits. I suspect Kendra's less affluent family were tasked with throwing a Duggar-level wedding, and probably threw most of the budget into things that would be shown on TV to avoid embarrassment for their daughter. 

Im not sure Kendra or her family were given the freedom to cut costs responsibly such as reducing the bridal party, reducing the guest list, etc., and I'm not sure JB or TLC were generous enough to pick up the slack. 

Certainly is a step down from the refreshments at Jinger's and Joy's weddings.

I know I've snarked on the Duggars before in regards to reception choices (ie: Jessa's ice cream sundaes in November when the weather was not suited to it),  but there is a big difference between sacrificing the comfort of your guests and what you offer them because you just don't care to consider them above your wants and doing it because you can't afford to do something bigger. If the Caldwells were expected to pay for this without TLC help, it makes sense they couldn't afford to pay for anything fanciers. That said, I don't think there is anything wrong with a cupcake afternoon tea offering anyway - it is appropriate for a late summer wedding. 

Her dress looks nice and expensive but that's the thing that will talked about most of all and be shown on TV and in magazines, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if a bridal salon gave her the dress for free in return for mentions she got the dress there/being able to plug that it supplied Kendra's dress. It might be one thing somewhere like San Francisco/Portland/Boston, but in conservative corners of the country, the bridal shop won't be hurt by association with the Duggars.

Hell, I'm as opposite to fundie as you can find get and even I have Jessa's wedding dress in on my secret pinterest board as dress inspiration - I'm a big busted woman and don't want a strapless wedding dress. It seems like 95% of dresses these days are strapless, so I am always on the lookout for nice dresses that has something holding it up but aren't frumpy but also won't show half my boobs every time I move and will allow for a proper bra to be worn. So Allure Modest wasn't hurt by Jessa wearing their dress. 

(And Kendra's family did pay for the dress, well, I'm not going to diss them for dedicating a significant part of the budget to the bridal gown and giving her a nice dress to wear on what is basically the most important day of a woman's life in fundieland).

[Audrey2]

Another thing, even though Mr. Caldwell is the pastor of the church, it's not a guarantee he gets paid very well. With most mainline denominations, there is a minimum salary scale that churches must follow (or at least the United Methodists and Free Methodists- I'm guessing others as well). With churches that don't have minimums, I've heard Fundies say their pastor shouldn't be paid, but then they turn around and want the pastor to serve his (the only pastor gender acceptable to Fundies- I strongly disagree) church at least 50-60 hours a week or more. I know others have talked about the Caldwells not being as wealthy as the Duggars and wanted to offer an explanation.

[divadivine]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Cupcakes and store bought snacks sound a-ok to me. Not sure what the issue is, if your wedding/reception isn't held during a regular meal time, you're not expected to provide your guests a full meal. If all someone can think about at your reception is that you're cheap for serving store bought pretzels, oh well, their loss.

I don't think I've been to a wedding reception where they didn't serve a meal. Even my cousin's wedding that was planned in a week, because he was being deployed, had a meal. I'm not talking a plated meal at a hotel, it was a buffet. A lot of the food came from Sam's Club and people helped prepare it. I think my Mom did the mashed potatoes in the kitchen of the VFW Hall.  It's sort of standard in these parts, even if it's a meal prepared by people in your family, a meal is served. Lots of people have someone who will roast a hog for their reception. #WeAreRednecks

Even if you have an afternoon wedding, you serve sandwiches, veggie trays, etc. Or if it's a small wedding they might do appetizers and cake. But it's not salty snacks and cupcakes. These are D-List reality tv wannabe stars. At least serve your guests some protein. Don't invite every family on the planet, invite the number of people you can realistically feed. Hell, my college graduation party had better food than their wedding reception- and I just wanted hamburgers and the traditional cookout food along with a cake. 

So, yes, I'm judging them.  

[Berty K]

2 hours ago, Georgiana said:

Certainly is a step down from the refreshments at Jinger's and Joy's weddings.

I didn't think so? I thought the description of what was offered was in line with all the other Duggar weddings tbh. All they ever have is snacks. 

[fluffernutter]

1 hour ago, grandmadugger said:

We served a meal at our reception and we still hit a drive through. We barely had time to eat so Taco Bell was it. 

We were so flustered and busy during our reception we hit up a Denny's on our way to our hotel. 

[FundieCentral]

Aw, I did watch the video and the both really seem sweet, in the truest sense of the word. 

They both strike me as the kind of people who are naturally kind, relaxed, and patient. They'll be the kind of parents who always put extra food in their kid's lunch box, for their friends. And probably they will have pet bunnies.  

[Captain Obvious]

1 hour ago, divadivine said:

I don't think I've been to a wedding reception where they didn't serve a meal. Even my cousin's wedding that was planned in a week, because he was being deployed, had a meal. [snip] It's sort of standard in these parts, even if it's a meal prepared by people in your family, a meal is served. Lots of people have someone who will roast a hog for their reception. #WeAreRednecks

Even if you have an afternoon wedding, you serve sandwiches, veggie trays, etc. Or if it's a small wedding they might do appetizers and cake. But it's not salty snacks and cupcakes. These are D-List reality tv wannabe stars. At least serve your guests some protein. Don't invite every family on the planet, invite the number of people you can realistically feed. Hell, my college graduation party had better food than their wedding reception- and I just wanted hamburgers and the traditional cookout food along with a cake. 

So, yes, I'm judging them.  

The thing is, not serving food is expected in their culture, so it's not looked down on and people prepare for it. Those who are close to the family of the bride would be invited to the afterparty, where there is food, and which is kind of like a defacto reception, just without the bride and groom there. Those not invited to the afterparty would know they have to get food elsewhere, either before or after.

Also, as someone pointed out for Jinger's wedding IIRC - it might even be a faux pas for a host family to serve a full meal at a wedding, in a culture when most families don't. It would be like showing off and would also put pressure on other families to do the same thing when it's their turn. That's right - in fundie land a full meal is tacky but a melted sundae in a parking lot isn't. 

They did serve a proper meal at the Bontrager wedding last week (where the ceremony would have finished at about 5.30) but those families are coming from a Mennonite background so it's a bit different.

[singsingsing]

We have this debate every single time one of them gets married. A bunch of people are appalled by how 'cheap' the wedding is, the fact that they don't have a sit down meal, and that -the horror!!- it's not done like the weddings they're used to. A handful of others are offended that the wedding is too extravagant for people who claim to buy used and save the difference and don't have proper jobs. Then a giant discussion ensues about wedding norms across various cultures and regions and people get butthurt that not everyone conforms to their own standards, expectations, and personal experience.

I think I'm just going to skip it this time.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

Just saw the video from Kendra's parents and I'm just going to come out and say it:

DILF. 

[Tangy Bee]

The Duggars are southern. Every southern wedding I've been to, served a meal or finger food. Not serving a meal is definitely not a southern thing. But then again everyone had a certain amount of guests and the Duggars invite everyone. Really hard to feed over 400 people. Some people actually limit guests down to just relatives only. Well fundies has ALOT of relatives so I guess that would not work either.

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, FundieCentral said:

Aw, I did watch the video and the both really seem sweet, in the truest sense of the word. 

They both strike me as the kind of people who are naturally kind, relaxed, and patient. They'll be the kind of parents who always put extra food in their kid's lunch box, for their friends. And probably they will have pet bunnies.  

I agree with the sentiments, though I think the chances of their kids needing lunch boxes are about zero.

I've always found Joe likable.  He seems to be a stark contrast to Josh; e.g., no apparent attention-seeking behaviors, no scandals, quiet, considerate, and hard-working.  Pious with no televangelist vibe at all.  I suspect that Joe and Kendra really will live happily ever after - probably keeping some distance from the cameras.

[JillyO]

I've seen several people on this thread claim that the Caldwells were definitely paying for the wedding. How do you guys know this? I get that in their circles, the bride's parents usually pay for weddings. But I am strongly assuming that in their specific case, either TLC or the Duggars pitched in, or this wedding wouldn't have looked like any cookie-cutter Duggar wedding (from the little we have seen so far, anyway).