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Joy and Austin 14: Pregnant with Their First


Destiny

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Hmmm have to say I can't see the difference talking about someone's more round figure or fried hair or bad skin or distasteful clothing/wrong bras. One seems to be ok the other not? I am fine with it as long as it doesn't turn out to be mean. No one said she is fat or even slightly implied she could lose weight. I have seen several comments about how xyz must cut off her terrible hair though.

I will admit I find thinking about someone else's sexlife irritating but I am not free from it. But I think it is not worse than all those highly speculative ideas we have about their personalities. There is even more harm there I believe. I wonder if they are aware of what we say about Jennifer(?) and if they are responding to this behind close doors. Outward appearance is very important to them and their cult and I slightly worry  about her.

Everyone has topics he/she feels more uncomfortable with but that doesn't mean they really are compared to others if you look at them logical. But then I am the first to acknowledge that I respond to topics that hit home for me on an emotional level. 

The married offspring can leave the limelight and if they do we definitely should respect that. As long as they bath in it there is no way to prevent the downside of living a public life. I am not saying they are outlawed and a lot of our discussions go too far for me. I simply ignor or don't add to them.

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The Picture posted on the link below is not brand new.  I saw that posted somewhere  the same day the other pictures were posted.  So at that point, she would have been no more than about 14 weeks.

https://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2017/09/joy-anna-duggar-baby-bump-pic-fuels-shotgun-wedding-rumors/

Yes she is arching her back,  but you can still see that the pregnant tummy is very well defined.  This is the reason so many tabloids and websites are speculating about the timing of the pregnancy. 

Those who have followed the family a long time all know that it is pretty unlikely, but, as @Snarkle Motion said on the previous thread,  there really isn't much difference between speculating when Joy got Pregnant or if Jinger is using birth control. 

JB and M, have set this in motion.  They have made pregnancy the core of their cultish existence.  They talk about it non-stop, JB points out the future marital bed of Jill's and talks about them making babies, etc.  So,  I know that some of you are feeling like it is inappropriate to speculate, but come on,  this is their bread and butter.

In my opinion,  what makes it inappropriate, is that we are contributing to them getting more hits on social media and pretty much playing right into JB's hands by keeping this talk going.  It will translate into more ratings for the show, and will lead to a renewal of the show.  And it convinces them that they need to keep making babies to promote the brand. 

Who was it that said there is no such thing as Bad Publicity?  Think about it,  Prior to the Josh scandal, I think the show may have been winding down.  Sure, Jill and Jessa's weddings brought back some viewers, but I think that the show would have started to dwindle.  Then the Josh scandal, and now, barely a day goes by without some kind of Duggar headline in tabloids, and on a site like this pages and pages of threads appear overnight to speculate and debate.  We are being played.  We are feeding the beast. 

I don't really think they care that people are wondering if Joy had sex before marriage.  They might pay it some lip service at some point, but they are just making money as people go to their websites to read up on things.  They know this will lead to a bump in ratings. 

I feel badly for Joy because If she did get preggo before hand,  it is terrible they are exploiting her pregnancy for promotion of the show.  And if she didn't get pregnant before hand, which is most likely the case, they are letting her dangle in the wind and have this speculation going on and on.  They control the message.  They could have included a due date, or not photographed the round tummy.  But, they didn't.  They went for it.  They are just fine with it.  And Joy is too naive to realize she is being used.

 

 

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I unreservedly apologise if my post (saying her bump looked big if she announced at 12 weeks) was taken as body shaming. That was absolutely not my intent.

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Quote

I keep reading "Anatomy Scan" as "Autonomy Scan". I was very confused what that would entail.

It's a special fundie test, @Kangaroo.
Before courting the test is applied to the fundie female in question and a score above 9 makes her undesirable.

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4 hours ago, adidas said:

I unreservedly apologise if my post (saying her bump looked big if she announced at 12 weeks) was taken as body shaming. That was absolutely not my intent.

Same.

I said that my OBGYN sister in law said she looked much further along than 3 months especially for a first pregnancy to a single baby (her "eating for two" bowl indicates it's not twins). 

But she made that comment not because of Joy's weight or body shape, but because of the shape/positioning/size of the bump itself. She said if one of her patients had Joy's size bump and claimed to be 3 months along with one baby and first pregnancy, she'd be checking she heard them right. My SIL said a lot of women will 'stick their stomachs out' to create more of a bump when they are excited to be pregnant, but that doesn't make the bump 'pop' the way Joy's is and for a bump to 'pop' that much at 12 weeks unusual. 

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@allthegoodnamesrgone sorry for the late reply-we are ok the process of moving.  No gestational diabetes, my ex husband is just a big guy (6'4 290 lbs). At 9 years old my daughter is the tallest girl in her grade and my 12 year old son is taller than me and I'm 5'6.  We just made big babies. 

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10 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

Hmmm have to say I can't see the difference talking about someone's more round figure or fried hair or bad skin or distasteful clothing/wrong bras. One seems to be ok the other not? I am fine with it as long as it doesn't turn out to be mean.

I'm bouncing off @just_ordinary's post but not picking on her.  I'm speaking generally here: 

Actually, IMO, all of the above have a tendency to fall into the BEC category that we are asked to keep to a minimum.  It can get very mean indeed.  It is sort of cyclical pattern on FJ.  Petty BEC goes out of control, some people speak up, and self-moderation puts a damper on it for a while.  After a few weeks or months the BEC builds up again, goes out of control, and gets too mean again.  And the pattern repeats.

This is from our Guidelines.  Actually # 4 on the list: http://www.freejinger.org/faq/8-guidelines/#elQuestion-129

Quote

Keep BEC comments to a minimum

Please keep the majority of your comments/snark based on the beliefs/ideology/philosophy of the people who you are speaking about.   It is natural for a snark site to have some "bitch eating crackers" (BEC*) type commentary and that is fine, but please make it the exception, not the rule.

*BEC =/= snark.  If you don't understand the difference ask!

We also had to put in place the rules about not speculating about the sexual orientation of children and the identity of victims of sexual abuse for good reason.  Some people (not pointing fingers at any of our present members, but sometimes people do slip) seem to have no boundaries when it comes to speculation about people on TV.  

These people do live their lives in public, but not all comments and speculation are OK.  We also do not know the long-term effects on people who have grown up on Reality TV.  People like Joy, who from the age of 6 or 7 must have been aware that the show is semi-scripted, that editing twists reality to get a story-line, and there is a big gap between the reality of her life and the "Duggar Show" on TV.  That is why I refer to it as UnReality TV.

Josh's molestation secret is just one of the many distortions in this family's reality.  They acted a lie for years.  It has to have a serious impact on the kids.  Also the pressure to keep filming and selling photos to support the whole family must be huge, including for the older children who are now young adults.  

About 10 years ago, Paul Petersen of A Minor Consideration wrote an impassioned article called "They Are Not Meerkats" about the Gosselin family and the pressures faced by children in Reality TV.  It seems to have been taken down from the site but I may have it saved somewhere if anyone is interested.  There is plenty of other important information on that site anyway.  http://aminorconsideration.org/

This is an excerpt from Paul Petersen's testimony to the PA Legislature in 2008, however.  I'm putting it under a spoiler because it is long but I would encourage everyone to read it: 

Spoiler

Permit me to gently point out that in the mind of a child these are distinctions without a difference. Children are not Meerkats. They are decidedly not the same as a pride of lions being filmed by a naturalist on an African plain. They are aware…and if you’ll just close your eyes and remember when Dad took out the movie camera to film you playing in the back yard and the way you mugged for the camera…you’ll know to a certainty that even a two year old toddler knows when a camera is present.

Cameras and microphones alter behaviors. The presence of a working film crew alters the dynamics within a home. When money is thrown into an altered reality things can become extremely complicated. For the developing child who finds themselves in the voracious maw of the media there is literally no concept of the life-long consequences they will have to live with for the next sixty, seventy of eighty years of their lives.

Let me blunt about this: There is no Delete button on the internet. Once your identity becomes public there is no going back. Images can be manipulated, and even the most innocent activity can be changed to suit the mind of the consumer of popular entertainment. It is a dangerous world out there, my friends, and all of us need to be constantly reminded that the consequences of fundamentally and publicly altering the life of a growing child will have consequences. Each of us is directly connected to every day or our lives.

I repeat, the rules are different for children. We do not hand an eight year old the keys to the car. Children have bedtimes and rules. Kids are not equipped to deal with things like taxes and salaries, publicity shoots and travel arrangements…and they do not ordinarily have to deal with autograph seekers and fans.

 

http://media2.pahousegop.com/Generator.asp?videoname=315465582.wmv

Again, we do not know the long-term effects of participation in Reality TV on children.  But they can't be good.

So when gossip and speculation gets too mean, some of us clamp down on it.

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Hopefully Joy is growing a healthy baby inside her, so no I don't think that saying "Oh she has a big bump" is shaming. My issue was saying that Joy and one of her younger sisters are "pudgy" or "round" which is not a very nice thing to say either way you shape it. Especially seeing that one of the girls is a minor who may or may not being going through puberty. It just seems mean and not important to the conversation. 

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@PalimpsestYes!!!!!!! So well said!

I've been trying to avoid these threads for a little bit now, but Joy getting pregnant and Joseph actually doing something interesting like marriage made that tougher. A great part of that desire to avoid is because of the BEC commentary though. There are times it does get pretty ugly (or, less often, over the top gushy and excited - though I'm less bothered by that than cruel comments) and that's not what drew me to this site. I came here to learn about this cult and other forms of fundamentalism, not to read a bunch of comments poking fun at other people's looks (especially when those comments are about an innocent child.)

I feel like the overall tone of the threads is shifting, which is fine. It happens. I'm just not sure the Duggar threads really fits what I'm looking for or am interested in anymore. 

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@Carm_88 YES YES YES.. everything you said.

I think the speculation about wheter or not they had sex before the wedding is way overdone by now. Most likely, the poor girl just carries differently and therefor shows earlier on (I haven't been pregnant, but many have already pointed out that this is very possible) and with all the speculations, we are giving tabloids reasons to speculate and I think it will, one way or another, come back to the duggars, and while I don't care for some parts of them, I have a very soft spot for Joy, and I'd hate for her to have to defend herself just because her belly looks different than some people think it is supposed to look like right now.

 

And even more about they younger girls. For one, they all look perfectly healthy to me, and even if they weren't I think it is ridiculous to bodyshame kids in or before puberty. There are enough things about the family we can talk about, but bodyshaming the minor children is just not ok.

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I hope, and it is probably true, maybe, that Joy just doesn't read internet comments about herself. So she is just happy and doing whatever she and Austin are doing, flipping houses or working at the family camp. Just hanging out and enjoying beautiful fall weather. 

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@2manyKidzzz I do not think that Joy herself reads here, but somebody else might (Derick for example) and they might give her a hard time. I'm not saying this is happening or should happen, but if there are pages over pages of speculations about how Joy and Austin had sex before their wedding, holier-than-thou in laws might start hopping on that thought and give her a hard time...

I think they should enjoy their time together, and not be bothered by all this though :)

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I would hope that in a cult that is obsessed with marital sex, procreation and creating an army for Jesus, that someone (or many someones) have connected the dots to realize that young couples will get pregnant on the honeymoon (or shortly there after) thus fueling speculation on if the couple did the deed before they were joined by God as man/wife. For a family that is publicly well known d/t selling themselves as a commodity, I'd hope that many people have connected those dots. The Duggars must have a plan on how to handle and balance the attention. They obviously enjoy and need the ongoing attention, and I doubt they'd ever do anything to  detract from that attention. I think it's crass how JB and M have sold their kids out. There are no protections in place- look at Anna and that toilet birth. EFF JB!

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I feel like Joy's always had a different body size/form than her sisters (if we're comparing pre baby bodies). There's nothing wrong with that, and I think it is unfair when people say that "Joy looks very different than Jill did in her early second trimester" as if that were shocking news. Well of course she does, she has always had a different body type. 

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26 minutes ago, shiverful said:

I feel like Joy's always had a different body size/form than her sisters (if we're comparing pre baby bodies). There's nothing wrong with that, and I think it is unfair when people say that "Joy looks very different than Jill did in her early second trimester" as if that were shocking news. Well of course she does, she has always had a different body type. 

Yup. She's always been naturally curvier and, well, thicker than her sisters. I don't think that's body shaming, that's just stating a fact. 

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Basically, I come here to snark on their beliefs and their behaviours, as they display those beliefs. I find it rather distasteful to be speculating without any proof whatsoever that Joy may have betrayed those beliefs. If she has a baby in December - yeah, go for it - she would have betrayed all she publically stands for. But until she has without doubt done so, this feels very Mean Girls.

Leave her alone to enjoy her pregnancy without internet strangers poisoning it.

And I'd give you 1000-1 odds that that baby comes at an appropriate time - a honeymoon baby.

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I had a bump like that at 12 weeks with my first. I received so many annoying comments like "are you sure it's just one?" and "you're STILL pregnant?" when I was 4/5 months along. My baby was 9 lbs and born at 39 weeks. Some women just carry big! 

 

Me at 10 weeks (couldn't hide my bump very long):

large.35026728504_4577c49736_o.jpg.b7ea4165b6733a55cc3945ac46f5000e.jpg

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4 minutes ago, sawasdee said:

I find it rather distasteful to be speculating without any proof whatsoever that Joy may have betrayed those beliefs.

Yes, it reminds be of some vicious old church harpies in pre-internet days.  They would hang out in the back pews at any wedding at the church muttering and gossiping amongst themselves.  Usually about whether the bride's bouquet was a little too large, and then counting the months on their fingers.  And not all of them were old.  Or female.  I swore back then I'd try never to be like them.  :laughing-jumpingpurple:

I suppose human nature doesn't change much.  Just the medium for unkind and malicious gossip.

I still think the focus should be on Fundie beliefs (not on the way their bellies look) as they inevitably start popping out the little heritages of the Lord for God's Army.

 

 

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13 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

Hmmm have to say I can't see the difference talking about someone's more round figure or fried hair or bad skin or distasteful clothing/wrong bras. One seems to be ok the other not? I am fine with it as long as it doesn't turn out to be mean. No one said she is fat or even slightly implied she could lose weight. I have seen several comments about how xyz must cut off her terrible hair though.

These kinds of comments are all distasteful as far as I'm concerned.  What is the value in talking about other people's bodies at all?  It seems to me that a lot of the time it just serves to make the commenter feel superior. It certainly doesn't actually convey anything to the people in question (like a well-meaning comment from a friend would -- and even that is often not really okay), and it probably just makes a lot of other posters on here feel even more self-conscious about their weight/hair/skin/clothes than they already do. 

We're here to talk about fundamentalism. Insofar as fundies are pretty obsessed with bodies, I think it's relevant to discuss their opinions and potential hypocrisy, and so commenting on something like the grossness of all the girls having long hair because their dad/Gothard likes it and they exist to be pleasing to gross fundie males is legit.  But saying that the hair is fried just seems mean to me, and commenting on body types -- something people have no control over -- seems not relevant to anything.  Just as it's rude to ask a woman if she's pregnant, I think it's distasteful to speculate on  whether someone is pregnant based on how they look or on how far along someone 'should' be according to their size.  

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Someone had a joke on one of the fundie snark tumblrs that when Joe and Kendra cut their cake it either had blue/pink inside to double as Joyanna's baby shower :pb_lol: but as we know Joy was totally fine for the proposal to happen at her reception.

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I think there is a difference between speculating and just acknowledging that a premarital conception could be possible, even though we all know it is unlikely. 

Yes, women carry differently, and that is not a fully reliable way to determine the age of the pregnancy, etc.  We get that. We all know someone or are someone who carried big, and someone who barely looked pregnant at term and had a big baby.  But remember,  most norms follow a bell curve, and there are always extremes on either side.  But just looking at the norms,  Joy, based on when she got married, Joy seems to carry larger at this point.  Why?  Probably just a normal variance.  But obviously another less likely explanation is she is farther along than we think.

Saying this is not speculation on Joy specifically.  It is just stating the obvious.  She is either carrying somewhat larger than we typically see for a 1st pregnancy, or she is further along.  Those are the two possibilities. 

the picture of @allybug47 's adorable bump and her comment that even her doctor was surprised she wasn't further along, serves as confirmation that a bump shaped like that, was surprisingly bigger than her doctor expected for her gestational age.  It doesn't mean @allybug47 was wrong about her due date it just was a slight variation of normal. 

All, I hope for, is that Joy and Austin have a healthy baby, and I hope that they are able to establish a good foundational relationship that will be able to meet the demands of parenting, as well as be adaptable and supportive for one another.  And icing on the cake, I would like to see Joy and Austin show some common sense and decide to live their life distant from the Public eye.  Joy and Austin seem like they would be hard workers and I think they could easily support their family with the money Joy has earned from the show so far, and with careers away from the show. 

My wish for all of these kids, is that they will be free and away from being forced to lead a public life.  My wish for the kidults children is that their parents will reject the stringent and harmful extremist parenting and rigid legalistic religiosity. 

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